Birthday Cards
I have come to hate birthday cards. They're so lame these days. What happened to all the cool ones? There used to be some funny birthday humor floating around out there and now nothing. I see kittens. I see puppies. I see bad pictures of W. I see all sorts of fart jokes. Come on people! I love cute baby animals and jokes about our president and even low-brow fart jokes but they're all just so old! This line of card fodder is dated.
I had the unappetizing task of picking up a card for a co-worker last night and had read through a dozen or so when I lost all hope of finding a good one. I was about to just spin around with my eyes closed, hold a hand out and grab the first one I saw when I glimpsed a totally black card. Matches my mood, I thought. I pulled it out.
The front of the card was completely black, and in white letters said, "It's your birthday! I got you a card!" I flipped it open to read, "This is the inside of it!"
PERFECT. After all the cards I'd read, that completely described how I felt about the experience. Who fucking cares? It's a card. As long as it's not lame.
It wasn't until I was on the way out with my purchase when I noticed that the back of the card read, "Here's the back!" Even better.
The birthday message I wrote inside of it said, "I hope your entire birthday and all its wishes was as special and heartfelt as this card. Love megan."
KUDOS, black-card-writer. You've managed to mock the whole card-giving tradition, as it should be mocked for lacking in creativity and true emotion.
I had the unappetizing task of picking up a card for a co-worker last night and had read through a dozen or so when I lost all hope of finding a good one. I was about to just spin around with my eyes closed, hold a hand out and grab the first one I saw when I glimpsed a totally black card. Matches my mood, I thought. I pulled it out.
The front of the card was completely black, and in white letters said, "It's your birthday! I got you a card!" I flipped it open to read, "This is the inside of it!"
PERFECT. After all the cards I'd read, that completely described how I felt about the experience. Who fucking cares? It's a card. As long as it's not lame.
It wasn't until I was on the way out with my purchase when I noticed that the back of the card read, "Here's the back!" Even better.
The birthday message I wrote inside of it said, "I hope your entire birthday and all its wishes was as special and heartfelt as this card. Love megan."
KUDOS, black-card-writer. You've managed to mock the whole card-giving tradition, as it should be mocked for lacking in creativity and true emotion.