Such is life i suppose...
So, without getting into too much detail its all over...anyone who has been paying attention up to this point knows what i mean and anyone who doesnt will just have to figure it out. But yeah, i guess thats just the way shit goes right? oh well...i guess it doesnt matter....you can start in with your "i-told-you-so"s and whatnot. Why is it that whenever i think i have something figured out i fuck it up? go me i guess.
no im not self loathing, no im not depressed, no im not gonna kill myself, no none of that...its not worth it. I just wish SOMETHING would fucking work out in my life when i want it to. I just wish i wasnt so fucking stupid and i wish i would have fucking stood up and done something. But oh well, thats just me.
no this isnt a cry for help, so please dont. I just want to bitch while im tired enough to. I want a chance to scream at the top of my lungs and still be vague before rational thought sinks in. When i sleep i will be more rational and this will sound stupid but until then fuck you and goodnight.
Im gonna be a mess for a few days so bear with me folks...i'll do my best to hide and repress any feelings cause i dont like it when people see me this way. I had to get this out on LJ so some people who know the score will read it and call me or something in the next few days. and yes, im aware that bitching on LJ is a lame ass, emo thing to do and its childish. Well, fuck you.
and before you even say it, yes i know things arent always gonna be bad...but for now i dont care. I want a chance to be a whiney bitch for the next hour or so. so there...i'll probably update tomorrow much happier.
no im not self loathing, no im not depressed, no im not gonna kill myself, no none of that...its not worth it. I just wish SOMETHING would fucking work out in my life when i want it to. I just wish i wasnt so fucking stupid and i wish i would have fucking stood up and done something. But oh well, thats just me.
no this isnt a cry for help, so please dont. I just want to bitch while im tired enough to. I want a chance to scream at the top of my lungs and still be vague before rational thought sinks in. When i sleep i will be more rational and this will sound stupid but until then fuck you and goodnight.
Im gonna be a mess for a few days so bear with me folks...i'll do my best to hide and repress any feelings cause i dont like it when people see me this way. I had to get this out on LJ so some people who know the score will read it and call me or something in the next few days. and yes, im aware that bitching on LJ is a lame ass, emo thing to do and its childish. Well, fuck you.
and before you even say it, yes i know things arent always gonna be bad...but for now i dont care. I want a chance to be a whiney bitch for the next hour or so. so there...i'll probably update tomorrow much happier.