Touch - Chapter 9
Title: Touch
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I have no rights to or claims on the Naruto franchise, trademark, copyright, or characters. This is for fun, not profit.
Summary: In the future what's left of humanity sends the Rokudaime Hokage back in time to make some changes. Sadly, they can't send all of her. When a seven-year-old Haruno Sakura decides to take an interest in Hatake Kakashi, the timeline shifts in some... unique... ways.
Of course Kakashi was late the next morning. While Sasuke and Naruto dozed, Sakura worked out how many D-rank missions Team Seven had to take in order for her to purchase new gear.
I need this team to pull at least ten to twenty D-rank missions before Naruto loses it and demands that mission to Wave Country. If I can talk the boys into doing at least four a day… Hmmm… that might be a bit much. Maybe three a day? If I push?
“What are we looking at?” murmured a voice in her ear. Sakura yelped, nearly falling against Kakashi in her surprise. It was luck, and the sight of him leaning backwards to avoid her elbow, that steadied her. He was crouched behind her, his eye skimming over her figures and sums. It was squinted as if the light hurt. Kakashi was also pale, sweaty, and smelled faintly of vomit.
Killer hangover, Sakura decided. An apprenticeship under Tsunade, and indirectly under Shizune, had left her generally unsympathetic to alcohol-related injuries. But she remembered the nights that she had gotten her genin teams. Hokage or not, her jonin had gotten her thoroughly hammered. Neji had to carry me home. I was always a hell beast the next day. And Kakashi-sensei’s a crap teacher on his best days.
Merging consciousnesses with a future version of herself had give Sakura some perspective. And with perspective came the realization that Hatake Kakashi was never meant to teach genin. Sakura was still trying to figure out who the Sandaime had been trying to punish - Kakashi for being himself, Sasuke for being an Uchiha, or Naruto for being the kyuubi’s vessel. She was fairly confident that her assignment to those three was just collateral damage.
Unless he’s punishing me for the blackmail thing... or that perverted jutsu… or the hat thing… well, I may have used more than one perverted jutsu on that dirty old man… Maybe Team Seven’s supposed to be a group punishment sort of thing.
“I could fix that,” Sakura offered impulsively.
“Mm?”
“Your hangover. I could fix it.”
Kakashi looked like the newest volume of Icha Icha had just been delivered to him. Then his expression fell.
“It’s a frivolous waste of chakra, especially for a medic nin.”
“I used to do it for Tsunade-shisho all the time,” Sakura said firmly as she pulled her canteen out of her weapons’ pouch. “Drink some of this. You’re dehydrated.”
“Oh. Well.” Kakashi swigged her water. “That’s okay then.”
Five minutes later Kakashi looked like a new man.
He still smelled like sweat and vomit to Sakura. She tried to subtly lean away from him. The wry look in his eye told her that he knew exactly what she was doing.
“What’re we looking at?”
“Eh heh. I need some new gear and clothes.”
His eye lingered for a moment on the green long-sleeved t-shirt that she was wearing over a pair of black shorts and her white chunin-level medic’s apron. Sakura knew what he was seeing. Only her medic’s apron was crisp and new. Her shorts were faded and her t-shirt had a blood stain on the hem.
It was always a mistake to admit to having money anywhere near Jiraya or Tsunade, especially now that they had the Terrible Trio to provide for. And it was always better to cover up her summoning scars and tattoos until it was necessary to reveal them.
“Ten to twenty missions?” the lilt in his tone suggested that she was being frivolous.
Sakura glanced at her calculations, drawn in the dirt with a stick.
“It depends on how much each mission is worth. And D-rank missions aren’t really worth much.”
Kakashi stared at her, bemused. “How do you know that?”
Sakura pointed at herself. “Merchant’s daughter. Apprentice to freeloading sannin. I know money.”
He chuckled. “Let’s go wake our teammates. We’ll see how many missions we can do today.”
“Is your arm okay?” Sakura blurted as he moved to rise.
Kakashi stayed where he was a moment longer. He stared at her, his eye flat and emotionless.
“You said the effects would be temporary.”
There’s no way that Kakashi-sensei just believed me…
“But yesterday you looked like you were favoring it even after the effects should have worn off.” Sakura could not help the edge of disapproval
that crept into her voice as she added, “And you left before I could check on you.”
He stared at her for a beat, his thoughts hidden behind his emotionless façade.
Kakashi-sensei can’t help but to have an unemotional face at the best of times. But when he wants to hide his thoughts, you can’t see anything in his face.
She raised her right hand anyway. “Can I check?”
His eye narrowed.
“I went to the hospital yesterday.” Sakura flinched. “The medic I spoke with was impressed with your jutsu execution and control, especially since that jutsu is apparently not deemed a combat technique.”
Sakura smiled, relieved, and stood. “I’m glad that you’re okay.”
Kakashi rose smoothly to his feet. The moment that he was upright, Sakura leapt to her feet, stabbed a finger toward his face, and shouted, “You’re late!”
Naruto and Sasuke were on their feet in moments. Naruto echoed her accusation while Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Kakashi.
Kakashi rolled with it, bestowing his bright smile on all three of them. Sakura was certain that it was not entirely real but it was entirely comforting to her.
“Ah, I had to help a little old lady with her groceries and -”
“LIAR!” shrieked Sakura and Naruto, once again jabbing accusatory fingers in Kakashi’s general direction.
Kakashi coughed into his fist. “Let’s see what the mission office has for us, hmmmm?”
It was the best way to distract three irate genin. All of Kakashi’s sins, real and imagined, were forgiven under the promise of a first team mission.
“My family wants us to have a team dinner at our house,” Sakura said as they walked. Well, Momo did at any rate. Her mother was resigned to having them over but that was nearly the same thing. “And there’s a party in our team’s honor.” She fished the invitations out of her weapons pouch and handed them out. “Please come or I’ll beat you down and drag you to them.”
“My family wants to have a team dinner too,” Sasuke grumbled. He shoved his invite into his weapons pouch while glaring at the vibrant blue house that they were passing as if it had personally insulted him. “Soon.”
Kakashi sighed.
“All right!” Naruto cheered. “Free dinners! And we’ll get to see what sort of people made a bastard like Sasuke!”
Sasuke transferred that glare to Naruto. His hand darted out to cuff the back of Naruto’s head.
“Ungrateful moron.”
“Stuck up, bastard!” Naruto shouted as he lunged at Sasuke.
Five minutes later, Kakashi had successfully separated the boys. All three of them had such put upon expression that Sakura giggled. Apparently all three of them were deeply irritated by her amusement.
“What days can you come over?” asked Sasuke.
He sounded like the very words themselves pained him.
“Every day!” Naruto said excitedly. “But not the days I usually eat over at Sakura-chan’s house.”
“’Course not,” Sakura agreed. “You need to eat as much non-ramen as possible.”
“Hey! Don’t say that about ramen! Ramen is the perfect food! Believe it!”
“Uh huh.”
“The gods eat ramen, Sakura-chan! Believe it!”
“Uh huh.”
“I mean it!”
Their first team mission (to Naruto and Sasuke’s mutual disgust) was to wash a bunch of dogs for a dog groomer. It was soapy and fun.
Their afternoon mission was to restock a restaurant’s kitchen. Looking into the semi-trailer filled with groceries, Sakura felt a slow, sinking sense of horror.
“You have to inspect the product. Make sure that it’s the right type, quantity, and part and that it’s fresh and then check the specific product off on this inventory list,” said the restaurant’s owner. “Don’t check it off unless you’re sure. I don’t want to pay for something that I haven’t got.”
Sakura, torn between horror over that sort of back-breaking labor and grim determination, nodded.
“How’re we supposed to do this?” Naruto whined. “I don’t even know what a sea scallop looks like much less the difference between that and a bay scallop.”
“I know the difference,” Sakura grudgingly admitted.
It was one of the cardinal rules to surviving freeloaders: never admit to possessing anything unless they caught you out. Ever. It was a rule that she had lived by in her previous life.
Of course, I never had to sort groceries for a restaurant in my previous life either.
When all three of her teammates stared at her, Sakura shrugged.
“My mother insisted that I learn how to cook.”
Sakura disliked the calculating gleam that entered Kakashi’s eye.
He’ll be grateful if he keeps his evil plot as merely a plot.
“Sakura will count and identify then Naruto and I will carry the supplies inside and put them away.”
Sasuke leaped onto the trailer, expecting them to follow his lead.
“Okay,” said Naruto as he jumped up into the trailer.
“No way!” protested Sakura, her hands in fists. We won’t fall into those patterns. I won’t let us. “I need the strength training too!”
It’s ironic, she thought as she took in Naruto’s confusion and Sasuke’s glare, I would’ve killed for this division of labor the first time around. I would’ve been so stupidly happy over their thoughtless consideration.
Naruto frowned. “They’re just groceries, Sakura-chan!”
“It’s a mission,” Sakura said, fighting to keep her voice level and her fists from slamming into their stupid faces. “I’ll carry my own weight on missions. Besides, we can’t do the counting in the trailer. It isn’t sanitary.”
There was a long moment of silence.
“What do you want to do Sakura-chan?”
Sakura beamed at Naruto. Her fists loosened. She eyed the distance between the trailer and the restaurant’s back door.
It’s too far for just the three of us to line up and pass things between each other until it gets into the kitchen. Sakura eyed Kakashi where he leaned against the back wall of the building, his nose already buried in his smut. And he’s not going to want to help us.
“Can Naruto-kun use kage bunshin?”
“Yeah! Why didn’t I think of that?” Naruto’s fingers began to twist through the seals. “We’ll get done in no time!”
Long, slim hands wrenched Naruto’s hands apart before he could finish the necessary string of seals.
“No jutsu. Just hardwork.”
All three genin slumped.
“Then Sasuke’s plan it is,” Sakura said. “But we should rotate positions. Two of us carrying things in and one of us to count the goods, check them off, and put them away. Regardless of my post, I’ll do the identifying though.”
Naruto nodded while Sasuke ripped open a box labeled ‘blood oranges’ then quirked an eyebrow at her.
Sakura decided to call it a victory.
Hours later, her arms aching, her chakra exhausted, and her footsteps staggering, Sakura felt less victorious.
This is necessary. It’s like helping Tsunade-shishou and Shizune-san with their research. And… and … think about something else… Our first few missions were finding lost pets last time, Sakura reminded herself as she staggered under the weight of a box of cabbages. That’s the sort of D-class mission that Kakashi-sensei prefers. So why would he take this mission over the lost rabbit mission? It pays more and he knows that I need money. So maybe he’s helping me... Or maybe we’ve been brattier this time and he’s trying to crush our spirits through sheer drudgery.
After another couple of hours, Sakura was certain that she had uncovered Kakashi’s true reason for choosing this mission.
He’s doing this to punish me, Sakura thought grimly. It was her second turn at counting and putting away whatever Sasuke and Naruto carried into the restaurant and she was grateful for it. It’s because he had to go to the hospital. We both know that this mission requires strength and stamina and that I don’t have enough of either yet… As soon as I can feel my arms again, I’m going to throttle Kakashi.
It was early in the evening when they finally finished restocking the restaurant’s kitchen. By then Sasuke’s expression was pinched with fatigue. Even Naruto was looking a bit worn around the edges. And although she was a medic and both logic and experience dictated otherwise, Sakura was certain that she was going to die.
She was as exhausted as her chakra reserves.
I get it now. If we’re dead, he doesn’t have to worry with us ever again. Clever bastard.
“I think that’s enough for today,” Kakashi said, his eyes running over them critically. “You’re all looking a bit rough. Go home and we’ll start again bright and early tomorrow morning.”
Sasuke and Naruto were both in motion as soon as the word ‘home’ passed Kakashi’s lips.
Sakura, the product of two apprenticeships under a volatile sanin, waited until Kakashi finished speaking before she smiled and bowed then started to leave.
We’ll start ‘bright and early’ if by ‘bright and early’ he means around 1000 hours.
“Wait a moment, Sakura.”
Sakura hesitated then turned around and plodded back to Kakashi. He was still leaning on that same wall he had staked out as his reading spot at the beginning of the mission but now the porn was nowhere to be seen.
He’s deadly serious. About what though?
“The hospital is offering you a position, Sakura. You’d begin tomorrow morning.”
Sakura blinked. “What?”
“The attending medic was impressed with your abilities.” He hesitated a moment then added, “Isn’t this what you’ve been working towards?”
Fury bubbled up in Sakura. “What I want is to stay on Team Seven!”
Kakashi’s eye widened slightly but all he said was, “You could come back after your residency.”
Liar, Sakura thought resentfully. There aren’t enough truly competent medics right now to allow me to rejoin my genin team. The need for my skills would always be greater elsewhere. What I want would never matter in the grand scheme of things.
“I don’t want to come back! I’m not leaving!”
This. This is why he took this mission that plays to my weaknesses. He thought I’d be tired and demoralized by this point in the day. Then I’d leap at the opportunity to escape a little hard work. Kakashi wants me to leave, to give up and take that stupid residency.
The pain in Sakura’s chest from his betrayal was nearly eclipsed by her killing intent. She lashed out, her foot slamming into his shin with all the force that her body could muster on such short notice. It was not much.
Kakashi yelped, his eye betraying his surprise.
It was rare for anyone to reprimand a jonin with violence. For one thing, no one knew how close any given jonin was on any given day to snapping. For another, few shinobi were stupid enough to attack someone who could wipe the floor with them without breaking a sweat.
And then there was the fact that Sakura had never lashed out at Kakashi with violence before.
The element of surprise was probably the only reason that Sakura’s foot connected with Kakashi’s shin.
“Lazy, clueless bastard!” Sakura snarled. She suddenly found that she could feel her arms well enough to ball up her fists. “How can you just throw me away like this?”
Kakashi’s long, lean fingers darted out. They curled around her wrists. She automatically struggled against his larger hands and stronger muscles. They were close enough that Sakura could no longer see his face, only his vest.
“Sakura, I don’t want to fight with you. I -”
Sakura simply spoke over his low, controlled voice.
“I don’t leave! Maybe Sasuke’ll leave or Naruto’ll leave or you’ll leave but I don’t! Not ever! I don’t care how many restaurants you make me stock! And I’m not leaving Team Seven to take what’ll amount to a transfer to work under some second-rate medic!”
“Sakura -”
“And even if you throw me off of the team I’ll come back anyway because I don’t give up and I don’t hold back and I don’t go away!”
Sakura punctuated that last point with another kick to Kakashi’s shins. A second later her feet were off the ground and she was being held at Kakashi’s arm’s length from her teacher. The palms of his leather gloves stuck to her skin while Kakashi’s bare fingers were tight and hot around Sakura’s wrists. Her arms ached from the sudden strain. Sakura’s fury and killer intent spiked at his casual manhandling of her.
The scent of dirt and blood and decaying flesh twisted through her memories. Panic swelled in her chest, choking her. Her heart pounded while her chakra rushed through its pathways. It crackled just under the thin skin of her wrists, ready to become an electrical current and leap from her flesh into Kakashi’s.
A great gasping breath brought her the cloying scent of garbage, the rich scent of sandalwood, the sweetness of pomegranate passion shampoo, and the faintest whiff of sweat. Reassurance eased her panic and the chakra gathering in her wrists dissolved back into her chakra system.
Instead, despite the obvious disparity in their reaches, she thrashed and kicked out at Kakashi ineffectually. Sakura tried to flex her arms as if performing a modified pull up but she was too damn tired to pull herself up high enough to bite Kakashi’s fingers off. Her forehead protector slid down to rest around her neck, her hair fell across her face, and she hoped like hell that she looked at least half as scary in that moment as Kakashi did.
He simply watched her struggles until she settled, panting and glaring at him through her tangled hair.
“Are you done?” he asked coldly.
“No. I’m lying in wait.”
Kakashi carefully set Sakura on her feet without letting go of her wrists. Sakura tried to ignore how grateful her shoulders were for her change in position. She focused instead on willing Kakashi to spontaneously combust.
Kakashi remained sadly whole and unburned.
“No one is trying to throw you away, Sakura. But you have very precise chakra control and low stamina. Physically, you simply aren’t going to be able to keep up with Sasuke and Naruto. You don’t spend your free time training. You spend it reading. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Sealing and medical jutsu play to your strengths.”
“No. I’ll train harder.”
“Improving you status in the medical community doesn’t count as abandoning us, Sakura.”
“No.”
Kakashi sighed. “It was just an option. I’ll communicate your disinterest to the hospital.”
He sounded thoroughly annoyed and just a bit bewildered.
Sakura had absolutely no sympathy.
“Thank you.”
The words were a cold and perfunctory acknowledgement at best. She wrenched at her wrists. Kakashi obligingly let go of her.
Sakura turned on the ball of one foot and marched off, every line of her body tense and angry. Exhaustion was the furthest thing from her mind. After stumbling through an hour of training, Sakura staggered home and then into a quick shower followed by a delightfully hot bath.
She was in the middle of a really excellent soak when her three little sisters burst into the bathroom. Umeko and Anzu immediately began to strip.
“Don’t do that. What if the water’s too hot for you?”
Each twin stuck a hand in the water. Anzu grimaced and started pulling her clothes on again. Umeko shrugged and kept stripping.
Fu shifted her weight from foot to foot. Her eyes darted between Sakura and the water.
“You can if you want to.”
Fu dunked her fingertips in the water and then started stripping too.
Umeko and Fu ended up sitting at one end of the tub while Sakura ended up at the other end. Sakura’s kneecaps peeped out of the water like pale islands.
“We should go to the hot springs together,” Umeko said.
Fu blushed. She was probably remembering what Jiraya did at hot springs.
Sakura squinted at Umeko. “I don’t remember you or Anzu as being very good swimmers yet.”
“After you and Momo-neechan finish teaching us to swim!” Umeko amended happily.
“Not the hot springs,” Anzu protested. She scowled. “They’re too hot.”
“Lakes and streams are better for swimming lessons,” Fu agreed. “We should go right now!”
Sakura winced at the mere idea of going anywhere to do anything right then.
“The water’s too cold for swimming lessons right now.” Fu’s face fell. Her head dipped forward so that her loose hair could hide her face. Sakura tickled the back of Fu’s knee with her toes. When the little girl giggled and looked up, Sakura smiled back as she said, “I’d rather relax here.”
“But the water’s never cold at the hot springs!” Umeko said happily. “We could go so swimming lessons right now!”
Fu perked up. Even Anzu looked interested in the idea of swimming lessons.
“I’m comfortable,” Sakura whined. “I’d rather hear what you did today. It’s your last day of freedom, isn’t it?”
“Yes!”
The twins said the word together. Umeko sounded excited. Anzu sounded disgusted.
“I start the day after tomorrow,” Fu said quietly. She fidgeted, sending little ripples up the length of the tub. “Will you walk with me?”
“Of course!” Sakura smiled. Fu’s entire expression lit up with relief and happiness. “I’ll be there with Mama and Papa and Momo-neechan for your induction ceremony too. And I’ll be there to pick you up after school.”
“Really?”
“No fair!”
Sakura splashed Anzu and nodded at Fu.
“You and the twins’ll get out of school at the same time. Papa’s going to be at work and Mama has some charity thing she can’t miss. Momo-neechan’ll get the twins and I’ll get you. Mama put it into the mission office this morning.”
“Y-Your whole team’ll be there?”
Fu was frowning again.
“It’s just your Naruto-niichan and Kakashi-sensei and one other guy. He doesn’t talk much so you’ll hardly even notice him.”
“No fair! No fair! No fair!” Anzu cried. “You get to be picked up at school by real ninja!”
Umeko looked envious. She nodded along with Anzu’s cries. Fu was smiling again.
Sakura rolled her eyes.
“I’ve already promised to walk you both to school tomorrow. What more do you want?”
“Come with Mama to pick us up too.” Umeko immediately demanded. Anzu nodded. “That’ll make it fair.”
“I can’t. I’ll be with my team tomorrow afternoon.”
“But that’s not fair!” cried Anzu.
“It’s not like I’ve never pick you two up from school.”
“That was different! You weren’t a real ninja then!”
Memories of hard hands gripping Sakura’s shoulders and lifting her, a large, cool hand wrapping itself around her wrists and casually grinding her bones together, digging past hard bone and slippery organs for the heart, her teeth humming with chakra as she sank them into a man’s throat, the taste of blood all tumbled through Sakura’s mind.
If I wasn’t a real ninja then, what was I?
Sakura blinked and shook her head.
“Sakura-neechan’s always been a real ninja,” Fu said quietly. “She just doesn’t always look like it.”
She wiggled her toes against Sakura’s ankles. It was not a ticklish sensation but Sakura smiled anyway.
“No more whining,” Sakura said briskly. “I’m hungry. Did anyone see what we’re having for dinner?”
The next morning it was difficult to get out of bed. Everything hurt.
Kakashi’s going to be late for team pictures anyway, Sakura mentally grumbled as she worked to lever herself out of bed. And I can probably beg off of walking the twins. Unless the girls come to get me. Or Kakashi’s on time to screw with me.
That thought propelled her out of bed and into a hot shower.
********************
Jiro had been a photographer for twenty-seven years and he loved it. Sadly, he had lived most of his working life in a Hidden Village. The work was steady - twice a year he took pictures of the incoming academy students, graduated students, and new genin teams. Once a year he took pictures of each academy class - but the clients were strange.
Take the masked man - Hatake Kakashi.
If he counted the picture he was hired to take today, Jiro had taken all of the Hatake’s milestone pictures. He had even taken the Hatake’s genin team pictures twice - once with Yondaime and once with Yondaime, an Uchiha, and a medic. And that young man still gave Jiro the heebie jeebies. It might have been something about the mask. Or the dead fish eyes. Or his bored attitude.
It was a particularly busy day for Jiro - incoming academy students and new genin teams were cluttering up his waiting room - when the trio of girls slipped into his offices.
He would never have noticed them but for the hair.
The oldest girl looked perfectly normal with her long black hair, dark brown eyes, and pink sundress. The bright blue and yellow friendship bracelet was odd and a bit childish but all of the girls in that family wore the damn things.
The sun dress perfectly matched the second oldest girl’s hair. It was bright pink and barely brushed the nape of her neck. The girl herself was wearing a fitted red shirt with sleeves that came to her elbows, black shorts, a white skirt, and big black boots. Like most ninja she had the pouch of weapons on the back of one hip, and the thigh holster of weapons on the opposite leg. Unlike any other ninja that Jiro had ever seen she was wearing dozens of friendship bracelets. Some were bright and new while others were ratty old disease catchers. She was also carrying something wrapped in a cloak.
Between the two older girls, and holding both of their hands, was the youngest girl. She had shoulder-length mint green hair and startling orange eyes. The girl was wearing a white sundress, an indigo and yellow friendship bracelet, and skipping.
Just as he remembered Hatake Kakashi for his creepiness, he remembered this family for its bright hair. Every year he took family photographs for the Haruno family. That poor man had been blessed with four strong-willed daughters, three of them with hair in varying shades of pink. Then the man turned around and took on another rambunctious daughter and the kyuubi container. Not a proper son to carry on the family name in sight.
Truly, the parents were saints.
The pinkette smiled dazzlingly as she settled down next to a blonde ninja girl. She was wearing a red ribbon in her hair and a friendship bracelet too.
Must be the latest fashion in ninja circles.
When the blonde asked what was wrapped in her cloak, the pink-haired girl’s smile slipped into a grin as she explained it was for her team photograph.
A terrible sense of premonition shivered up and then back down Jiro’s spine.
This is going to be trouble, Jiro thought with heavy acceptance.
The youngest Haruno was there for her intake picture for the Shinobi Academy. The middle girl was there for her team photograph. And the oldest girl was there to chaperone the youngest one.
When Jiro finally had time to catch his breath, the pinkette had been joined by an Uchiha boy and the Hatake.
Of course, Jiro thought even as he said, “Your appointment was two hours ago, Hatake-san.”
The two children shot the older ninja accusatory glares. Hatake’s only visible eye curved in what Jiro thought might be a smile.
“I got lost.”
“Lost?” said Jiro suspiciously. He knew very well that Hatake Kakashi had not only lived in the village his entire life but also had found Jiro’s studio on several previous occasions.
“In an oil painting. This morning when -”
“Never mind,” Jiro said with a sigh. “Is this it?”
“No. We’re missing one teammate,” Hatake Kakashi said with a sunny smile. “Perhaps he fell into an oil painting as well?”
Jiro sigh. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, only now remembering why he found the Hatake so creepy. It was not just the eye or the mask or his poor attitude. It was because he always knew just what to do to send Jiro’s blood pressure skyrocketing and his brain pulsing with agony.
I’m going to need a lie down after this. Jiro said as he tried to figure out how long a lunch he could take without losing too much business to that new photography studio down on Kunai Alley.
After half an hour of the Hatake and his evil minions, Jiro had had enough.
“I’m taking the picture right now,” he declared as he ushered the group into the courtyard behind his studio. Hatake had asked for a nature shot. “I don’t care who is or isn’t in it. You can come back some other time with that third guy.”
Jiro set up his tripod and camera, arranged the shinobi, and was just about to take the shot when a blur of orange, white, and red swirls threw itself out of a tree and into the shot.
“What the -” Jiro gasped, his finger pressing the button accidently.
His flashbulbs and camera went off, capturing the next few moments for posterity.
Click!
“Ah, there he is,” Kakashi said with his trademark smile as the blur of orange and white with red swirls landed between the Uchiha and the pinkette, jostling them apart.
Click!
The other members of Team Seven finally got a good look at Naruto. The Hatake’s face faulted, the girl’s face flushed, and the Uchiha gaped.
Naruto - and Jiro certainly remembered him after his graduation photograph - had once again painted himself white with red swirls. He was a nightmarish parody of a kabuki actor. Or maybe a cracked geisha. A deranged and potentially murderous clown, perhaps?
“You idiot!” Sasuke and Sakura shouted in tandem. Two fists came down on Naruto’s head as the camera clicked again. “Don’t do such stupid things!”
Click!
The weird kid’s two teammates stood over him, their arms crossed and scowling. Behind them, Hatake looked thoroughly embarrassed.
“Eh heh,” Kakashi smiled his best smile at the photographer and rubbed the back of his head ruefully. “Can we get another one?”
Click!
Jiro finally remembered to take his finger off of the trigger.
“After Naruto washes his make up off,” Sakura said firmly.
“Hnn!”
Naruto pouted. “You two are no fun at all.”
Under the combined force of their glare, he slouched off to the bathroom.
“Interesting use of teamwork,” the Hatake muttered.
The pinkette flushed again. The Uchiha tossed his head haughtily.
Despite himself, Jiro grinned.
“You’ll have to pay for all of these pictures,” the photographer said firmly.
“That’s fine,” the Haruno said. Hatake looked pained. “I’d like quadruple prints of all of them though.”
“Of course.” That had been the original agreement after all.
“Oh!” The girl’s eyes widened. “I’ll be right back.”
The second time the group stood in the wooded courtyard for a photograph, the girl was holding her cloak-wrapped parcel.
Hatake stood at the back with his three students arranged in front of him from tallest to shortest. That left the girl of the left, the Uchiha in the middle, and Naruto on the right.
“Ready?”
The four ninja all plastered their widest smiles on.
“Steady!”
The girl dropped the cloak and leaned into the Uchiha, jostling against him as she thrust the picture in front of the group.
Click!
A perfect photograph of the girl, one hand holding the picture in front of the group and the other arm wrapped around the Uchiha’s shoulders for balance, crushed into the Uchiha’s side. She was wearing a wide shit-eating grin. The Uchiha was glaring fiercely at the girl, presumably for touching him. Naruto’s face was twisted into a horrified grimace as he stared down at the picture. Behind the three children, Hatake Kakashi looked thoroughly resigned to whatever mayhem was about to happen.
The picture itself was of the two boys, their mouths mashed together into the most awkward looking kiss that Jiro had ever seen.
It has to be a first kiss, Jiro thought.
Click!
The next picture captured an image of both boys staring down at the picture with horror. Their teacher peeked over their shoulders, his expression bemused.
“Eh heh,” Hatake said. “Not the team romance that I’d braced myself for. Seriously.”
“But - I - How -” Naruto glared at the Uchiha. “You said you’d stolen this!”
“I did!”
“You were plotting against me?” She demanded. Her voice was shrill but there was no note of surprise in it. “How could you?”
Naruto snatched the picture and waved it at her, making wordless noises of protest. The Uchiha grunted emphatically.
“I let you steal my pretty princess camera! I’d already taken the film out!” The girl flipped her short hair at them. “Good thing for me that I’m smarter than you two combined, huh?”
Click!
Jiro captured an image of the boys glaring and waving the photograph at her while she smirked at them.
Naruto dropped the framed picture. The boys lunged.
With a small shriek, the girl replaced herself with a log (Where did she get it? Jiro wondered) and bolted. The boys were only a few steps behind her.
Their team leader, ignoring the shrieks and death threats coming from his scrambling team, leaned over to pick up the photograph.
He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“I suppose it’s time for the sex talk.” He sighed. “I was hoping to avoid that. At least I don’t have to worry about anyone accidentally getting pregnant. I suppose that’s a good thing. But they aren’t sharing a two-man tent, I can promise you that.”
Click!
He captured an image of the three genin tumbling and fighting amongst themselves in the background while their teacher obliviously stared down at a framed photograph of the two boys kissing.
“Do we have to pay for all of those?” Hatake Kakashi complained. “Seriously, I think you’re just taking pictures to take pictures at this point. You’re driving the price up on purpose.”
“Sorry,” Jiro said as he guiltily slipped his finger off of the trigger. “It’s not usually this… loud. Or exciting.”
The other adult shot Jiro a pained look. “Lucky.”
He slipped the photograph into his hip pouch thing and waded into the mess of screaming, flailing limbs.
The third time was the charm.
“If any of you as much as blink before or during this picture, I’ll make you pray for death,” Hatake threatened.
This time the girl was in the middle. The Uchiha was glowering into the camera with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Naruto was scowling at his teammates with his arms crossed over his chest. The girl was giggling, one arm slung around each boy’s shoulders. Hatake, who had a hand on each boy’s head, was smiling his widest, creepiest smile behind that awful mask as he leaned forward and over the girl’s head.
Click!
The boys immediately moved away from their teammates.
“Do you think it came out well?” asked Hatake.
“Oh yes,” Jiro lied. More truthfully he added, “It’s definitely the best one of the bunch.”
The girl paid for copies of all of the previous pictures. Hatake purchased four copies of the last photograph.
Jiro had a feeling that he had better develop those pictures and get them to their respective purchasers as soon as possible. In a Hidden Village, incriminating things had a tendency to disappear. He was going to need to be able to keep the purchasing prices if he was going to take the afternoon off.
That twinge behind Jiro’s eyes had developed into a pounding migraine.
I hate ninja so, so much.
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I have no rights to or claims on the Naruto franchise, trademark, copyright, or characters. This is for fun, not profit.
Summary: In the future what's left of humanity sends the Rokudaime Hokage back in time to make some changes. Sadly, they can't send all of her. When a seven-year-old Haruno Sakura decides to take an interest in Hatake Kakashi, the timeline shifts in some... unique... ways.
Of course Kakashi was late the next morning. While Sasuke and Naruto dozed, Sakura worked out how many D-rank missions Team Seven had to take in order for her to purchase new gear.
I need this team to pull at least ten to twenty D-rank missions before Naruto loses it and demands that mission to Wave Country. If I can talk the boys into doing at least four a day… Hmmm… that might be a bit much. Maybe three a day? If I push?
“What are we looking at?” murmured a voice in her ear. Sakura yelped, nearly falling against Kakashi in her surprise. It was luck, and the sight of him leaning backwards to avoid her elbow, that steadied her. He was crouched behind her, his eye skimming over her figures and sums. It was squinted as if the light hurt. Kakashi was also pale, sweaty, and smelled faintly of vomit.
Killer hangover, Sakura decided. An apprenticeship under Tsunade, and indirectly under Shizune, had left her generally unsympathetic to alcohol-related injuries. But she remembered the nights that she had gotten her genin teams. Hokage or not, her jonin had gotten her thoroughly hammered. Neji had to carry me home. I was always a hell beast the next day. And Kakashi-sensei’s a crap teacher on his best days.
Merging consciousnesses with a future version of herself had give Sakura some perspective. And with perspective came the realization that Hatake Kakashi was never meant to teach genin. Sakura was still trying to figure out who the Sandaime had been trying to punish - Kakashi for being himself, Sasuke for being an Uchiha, or Naruto for being the kyuubi’s vessel. She was fairly confident that her assignment to those three was just collateral damage.
Unless he’s punishing me for the blackmail thing... or that perverted jutsu… or the hat thing… well, I may have used more than one perverted jutsu on that dirty old man… Maybe Team Seven’s supposed to be a group punishment sort of thing.
“I could fix that,” Sakura offered impulsively.
“Mm?”
“Your hangover. I could fix it.”
Kakashi looked like the newest volume of Icha Icha had just been delivered to him. Then his expression fell.
“It’s a frivolous waste of chakra, especially for a medic nin.”
“I used to do it for Tsunade-shisho all the time,” Sakura said firmly as she pulled her canteen out of her weapons’ pouch. “Drink some of this. You’re dehydrated.”
“Oh. Well.” Kakashi swigged her water. “That’s okay then.”
Five minutes later Kakashi looked like a new man.
He still smelled like sweat and vomit to Sakura. She tried to subtly lean away from him. The wry look in his eye told her that he knew exactly what she was doing.
“What’re we looking at?”
“Eh heh. I need some new gear and clothes.”
His eye lingered for a moment on the green long-sleeved t-shirt that she was wearing over a pair of black shorts and her white chunin-level medic’s apron. Sakura knew what he was seeing. Only her medic’s apron was crisp and new. Her shorts were faded and her t-shirt had a blood stain on the hem.
It was always a mistake to admit to having money anywhere near Jiraya or Tsunade, especially now that they had the Terrible Trio to provide for. And it was always better to cover up her summoning scars and tattoos until it was necessary to reveal them.
“Ten to twenty missions?” the lilt in his tone suggested that she was being frivolous.
Sakura glanced at her calculations, drawn in the dirt with a stick.
“It depends on how much each mission is worth. And D-rank missions aren’t really worth much.”
Kakashi stared at her, bemused. “How do you know that?”
Sakura pointed at herself. “Merchant’s daughter. Apprentice to freeloading sannin. I know money.”
He chuckled. “Let’s go wake our teammates. We’ll see how many missions we can do today.”
“Is your arm okay?” Sakura blurted as he moved to rise.
Kakashi stayed where he was a moment longer. He stared at her, his eye flat and emotionless.
“You said the effects would be temporary.”
There’s no way that Kakashi-sensei just believed me…
“But yesterday you looked like you were favoring it even after the effects should have worn off.” Sakura could not help the edge of disapproval
that crept into her voice as she added, “And you left before I could check on you.”
He stared at her for a beat, his thoughts hidden behind his emotionless façade.
Kakashi-sensei can’t help but to have an unemotional face at the best of times. But when he wants to hide his thoughts, you can’t see anything in his face.
She raised her right hand anyway. “Can I check?”
His eye narrowed.
“I went to the hospital yesterday.” Sakura flinched. “The medic I spoke with was impressed with your jutsu execution and control, especially since that jutsu is apparently not deemed a combat technique.”
Sakura smiled, relieved, and stood. “I’m glad that you’re okay.”
Kakashi rose smoothly to his feet. The moment that he was upright, Sakura leapt to her feet, stabbed a finger toward his face, and shouted, “You’re late!”
Naruto and Sasuke were on their feet in moments. Naruto echoed her accusation while Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Kakashi.
Kakashi rolled with it, bestowing his bright smile on all three of them. Sakura was certain that it was not entirely real but it was entirely comforting to her.
“Ah, I had to help a little old lady with her groceries and -”
“LIAR!” shrieked Sakura and Naruto, once again jabbing accusatory fingers in Kakashi’s general direction.
Kakashi coughed into his fist. “Let’s see what the mission office has for us, hmmmm?”
It was the best way to distract three irate genin. All of Kakashi’s sins, real and imagined, were forgiven under the promise of a first team mission.
“My family wants us to have a team dinner at our house,” Sakura said as they walked. Well, Momo did at any rate. Her mother was resigned to having them over but that was nearly the same thing. “And there’s a party in our team’s honor.” She fished the invitations out of her weapons pouch and handed them out. “Please come or I’ll beat you down and drag you to them.”
“My family wants to have a team dinner too,” Sasuke grumbled. He shoved his invite into his weapons pouch while glaring at the vibrant blue house that they were passing as if it had personally insulted him. “Soon.”
Kakashi sighed.
“All right!” Naruto cheered. “Free dinners! And we’ll get to see what sort of people made a bastard like Sasuke!”
Sasuke transferred that glare to Naruto. His hand darted out to cuff the back of Naruto’s head.
“Ungrateful moron.”
“Stuck up, bastard!” Naruto shouted as he lunged at Sasuke.
Five minutes later, Kakashi had successfully separated the boys. All three of them had such put upon expression that Sakura giggled. Apparently all three of them were deeply irritated by her amusement.
“What days can you come over?” asked Sasuke.
He sounded like the very words themselves pained him.
“Every day!” Naruto said excitedly. “But not the days I usually eat over at Sakura-chan’s house.”
“’Course not,” Sakura agreed. “You need to eat as much non-ramen as possible.”
“Hey! Don’t say that about ramen! Ramen is the perfect food! Believe it!”
“Uh huh.”
“The gods eat ramen, Sakura-chan! Believe it!”
“Uh huh.”
“I mean it!”
Their first team mission (to Naruto and Sasuke’s mutual disgust) was to wash a bunch of dogs for a dog groomer. It was soapy and fun.
Their afternoon mission was to restock a restaurant’s kitchen. Looking into the semi-trailer filled with groceries, Sakura felt a slow, sinking sense of horror.
“You have to inspect the product. Make sure that it’s the right type, quantity, and part and that it’s fresh and then check the specific product off on this inventory list,” said the restaurant’s owner. “Don’t check it off unless you’re sure. I don’t want to pay for something that I haven’t got.”
Sakura, torn between horror over that sort of back-breaking labor and grim determination, nodded.
“How’re we supposed to do this?” Naruto whined. “I don’t even know what a sea scallop looks like much less the difference between that and a bay scallop.”
“I know the difference,” Sakura grudgingly admitted.
It was one of the cardinal rules to surviving freeloaders: never admit to possessing anything unless they caught you out. Ever. It was a rule that she had lived by in her previous life.
Of course, I never had to sort groceries for a restaurant in my previous life either.
When all three of her teammates stared at her, Sakura shrugged.
“My mother insisted that I learn how to cook.”
Sakura disliked the calculating gleam that entered Kakashi’s eye.
He’ll be grateful if he keeps his evil plot as merely a plot.
“Sakura will count and identify then Naruto and I will carry the supplies inside and put them away.”
Sasuke leaped onto the trailer, expecting them to follow his lead.
“Okay,” said Naruto as he jumped up into the trailer.
“No way!” protested Sakura, her hands in fists. We won’t fall into those patterns. I won’t let us. “I need the strength training too!”
It’s ironic, she thought as she took in Naruto’s confusion and Sasuke’s glare, I would’ve killed for this division of labor the first time around. I would’ve been so stupidly happy over their thoughtless consideration.
Naruto frowned. “They’re just groceries, Sakura-chan!”
“It’s a mission,” Sakura said, fighting to keep her voice level and her fists from slamming into their stupid faces. “I’ll carry my own weight on missions. Besides, we can’t do the counting in the trailer. It isn’t sanitary.”
There was a long moment of silence.
“What do you want to do Sakura-chan?”
Sakura beamed at Naruto. Her fists loosened. She eyed the distance between the trailer and the restaurant’s back door.
It’s too far for just the three of us to line up and pass things between each other until it gets into the kitchen. Sakura eyed Kakashi where he leaned against the back wall of the building, his nose already buried in his smut. And he’s not going to want to help us.
“Can Naruto-kun use kage bunshin?”
“Yeah! Why didn’t I think of that?” Naruto’s fingers began to twist through the seals. “We’ll get done in no time!”
Long, slim hands wrenched Naruto’s hands apart before he could finish the necessary string of seals.
“No jutsu. Just hardwork.”
All three genin slumped.
“Then Sasuke’s plan it is,” Sakura said. “But we should rotate positions. Two of us carrying things in and one of us to count the goods, check them off, and put them away. Regardless of my post, I’ll do the identifying though.”
Naruto nodded while Sasuke ripped open a box labeled ‘blood oranges’ then quirked an eyebrow at her.
Sakura decided to call it a victory.
Hours later, her arms aching, her chakra exhausted, and her footsteps staggering, Sakura felt less victorious.
This is necessary. It’s like helping Tsunade-shishou and Shizune-san with their research. And… and … think about something else… Our first few missions were finding lost pets last time, Sakura reminded herself as she staggered under the weight of a box of cabbages. That’s the sort of D-class mission that Kakashi-sensei prefers. So why would he take this mission over the lost rabbit mission? It pays more and he knows that I need money. So maybe he’s helping me... Or maybe we’ve been brattier this time and he’s trying to crush our spirits through sheer drudgery.
After another couple of hours, Sakura was certain that she had uncovered Kakashi’s true reason for choosing this mission.
He’s doing this to punish me, Sakura thought grimly. It was her second turn at counting and putting away whatever Sasuke and Naruto carried into the restaurant and she was grateful for it. It’s because he had to go to the hospital. We both know that this mission requires strength and stamina and that I don’t have enough of either yet… As soon as I can feel my arms again, I’m going to throttle Kakashi.
It was early in the evening when they finally finished restocking the restaurant’s kitchen. By then Sasuke’s expression was pinched with fatigue. Even Naruto was looking a bit worn around the edges. And although she was a medic and both logic and experience dictated otherwise, Sakura was certain that she was going to die.
She was as exhausted as her chakra reserves.
I get it now. If we’re dead, he doesn’t have to worry with us ever again. Clever bastard.
“I think that’s enough for today,” Kakashi said, his eyes running over them critically. “You’re all looking a bit rough. Go home and we’ll start again bright and early tomorrow morning.”
Sasuke and Naruto were both in motion as soon as the word ‘home’ passed Kakashi’s lips.
Sakura, the product of two apprenticeships under a volatile sanin, waited until Kakashi finished speaking before she smiled and bowed then started to leave.
We’ll start ‘bright and early’ if by ‘bright and early’ he means around 1000 hours.
“Wait a moment, Sakura.”
Sakura hesitated then turned around and plodded back to Kakashi. He was still leaning on that same wall he had staked out as his reading spot at the beginning of the mission but now the porn was nowhere to be seen.
He’s deadly serious. About what though?
“The hospital is offering you a position, Sakura. You’d begin tomorrow morning.”
Sakura blinked. “What?”
“The attending medic was impressed with your abilities.” He hesitated a moment then added, “Isn’t this what you’ve been working towards?”
Fury bubbled up in Sakura. “What I want is to stay on Team Seven!”
Kakashi’s eye widened slightly but all he said was, “You could come back after your residency.”
Liar, Sakura thought resentfully. There aren’t enough truly competent medics right now to allow me to rejoin my genin team. The need for my skills would always be greater elsewhere. What I want would never matter in the grand scheme of things.
“I don’t want to come back! I’m not leaving!”
This. This is why he took this mission that plays to my weaknesses. He thought I’d be tired and demoralized by this point in the day. Then I’d leap at the opportunity to escape a little hard work. Kakashi wants me to leave, to give up and take that stupid residency.
The pain in Sakura’s chest from his betrayal was nearly eclipsed by her killing intent. She lashed out, her foot slamming into his shin with all the force that her body could muster on such short notice. It was not much.
Kakashi yelped, his eye betraying his surprise.
It was rare for anyone to reprimand a jonin with violence. For one thing, no one knew how close any given jonin was on any given day to snapping. For another, few shinobi were stupid enough to attack someone who could wipe the floor with them without breaking a sweat.
And then there was the fact that Sakura had never lashed out at Kakashi with violence before.
The element of surprise was probably the only reason that Sakura’s foot connected with Kakashi’s shin.
“Lazy, clueless bastard!” Sakura snarled. She suddenly found that she could feel her arms well enough to ball up her fists. “How can you just throw me away like this?”
Kakashi’s long, lean fingers darted out. They curled around her wrists. She automatically struggled against his larger hands and stronger muscles. They were close enough that Sakura could no longer see his face, only his vest.
“Sakura, I don’t want to fight with you. I -”
Sakura simply spoke over his low, controlled voice.
“I don’t leave! Maybe Sasuke’ll leave or Naruto’ll leave or you’ll leave but I don’t! Not ever! I don’t care how many restaurants you make me stock! And I’m not leaving Team Seven to take what’ll amount to a transfer to work under some second-rate medic!”
“Sakura -”
“And even if you throw me off of the team I’ll come back anyway because I don’t give up and I don’t hold back and I don’t go away!”
Sakura punctuated that last point with another kick to Kakashi’s shins. A second later her feet were off the ground and she was being held at Kakashi’s arm’s length from her teacher. The palms of his leather gloves stuck to her skin while Kakashi’s bare fingers were tight and hot around Sakura’s wrists. Her arms ached from the sudden strain. Sakura’s fury and killer intent spiked at his casual manhandling of her.
The scent of dirt and blood and decaying flesh twisted through her memories. Panic swelled in her chest, choking her. Her heart pounded while her chakra rushed through its pathways. It crackled just under the thin skin of her wrists, ready to become an electrical current and leap from her flesh into Kakashi’s.
A great gasping breath brought her the cloying scent of garbage, the rich scent of sandalwood, the sweetness of pomegranate passion shampoo, and the faintest whiff of sweat. Reassurance eased her panic and the chakra gathering in her wrists dissolved back into her chakra system.
Instead, despite the obvious disparity in their reaches, she thrashed and kicked out at Kakashi ineffectually. Sakura tried to flex her arms as if performing a modified pull up but she was too damn tired to pull herself up high enough to bite Kakashi’s fingers off. Her forehead protector slid down to rest around her neck, her hair fell across her face, and she hoped like hell that she looked at least half as scary in that moment as Kakashi did.
He simply watched her struggles until she settled, panting and glaring at him through her tangled hair.
“Are you done?” he asked coldly.
“No. I’m lying in wait.”
Kakashi carefully set Sakura on her feet without letting go of her wrists. Sakura tried to ignore how grateful her shoulders were for her change in position. She focused instead on willing Kakashi to spontaneously combust.
Kakashi remained sadly whole and unburned.
“No one is trying to throw you away, Sakura. But you have very precise chakra control and low stamina. Physically, you simply aren’t going to be able to keep up with Sasuke and Naruto. You don’t spend your free time training. You spend it reading. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Sealing and medical jutsu play to your strengths.”
“No. I’ll train harder.”
“Improving you status in the medical community doesn’t count as abandoning us, Sakura.”
“No.”
Kakashi sighed. “It was just an option. I’ll communicate your disinterest to the hospital.”
He sounded thoroughly annoyed and just a bit bewildered.
Sakura had absolutely no sympathy.
“Thank you.”
The words were a cold and perfunctory acknowledgement at best. She wrenched at her wrists. Kakashi obligingly let go of her.
Sakura turned on the ball of one foot and marched off, every line of her body tense and angry. Exhaustion was the furthest thing from her mind. After stumbling through an hour of training, Sakura staggered home and then into a quick shower followed by a delightfully hot bath.
She was in the middle of a really excellent soak when her three little sisters burst into the bathroom. Umeko and Anzu immediately began to strip.
“Don’t do that. What if the water’s too hot for you?”
Each twin stuck a hand in the water. Anzu grimaced and started pulling her clothes on again. Umeko shrugged and kept stripping.
Fu shifted her weight from foot to foot. Her eyes darted between Sakura and the water.
“You can if you want to.”
Fu dunked her fingertips in the water and then started stripping too.
Umeko and Fu ended up sitting at one end of the tub while Sakura ended up at the other end. Sakura’s kneecaps peeped out of the water like pale islands.
“We should go to the hot springs together,” Umeko said.
Fu blushed. She was probably remembering what Jiraya did at hot springs.
Sakura squinted at Umeko. “I don’t remember you or Anzu as being very good swimmers yet.”
“After you and Momo-neechan finish teaching us to swim!” Umeko amended happily.
“Not the hot springs,” Anzu protested. She scowled. “They’re too hot.”
“Lakes and streams are better for swimming lessons,” Fu agreed. “We should go right now!”
Sakura winced at the mere idea of going anywhere to do anything right then.
“The water’s too cold for swimming lessons right now.” Fu’s face fell. Her head dipped forward so that her loose hair could hide her face. Sakura tickled the back of Fu’s knee with her toes. When the little girl giggled and looked up, Sakura smiled back as she said, “I’d rather relax here.”
“But the water’s never cold at the hot springs!” Umeko said happily. “We could go so swimming lessons right now!”
Fu perked up. Even Anzu looked interested in the idea of swimming lessons.
“I’m comfortable,” Sakura whined. “I’d rather hear what you did today. It’s your last day of freedom, isn’t it?”
“Yes!”
The twins said the word together. Umeko sounded excited. Anzu sounded disgusted.
“I start the day after tomorrow,” Fu said quietly. She fidgeted, sending little ripples up the length of the tub. “Will you walk with me?”
“Of course!” Sakura smiled. Fu’s entire expression lit up with relief and happiness. “I’ll be there with Mama and Papa and Momo-neechan for your induction ceremony too. And I’ll be there to pick you up after school.”
“Really?”
“No fair!”
Sakura splashed Anzu and nodded at Fu.
“You and the twins’ll get out of school at the same time. Papa’s going to be at work and Mama has some charity thing she can’t miss. Momo-neechan’ll get the twins and I’ll get you. Mama put it into the mission office this morning.”
“Y-Your whole team’ll be there?”
Fu was frowning again.
“It’s just your Naruto-niichan and Kakashi-sensei and one other guy. He doesn’t talk much so you’ll hardly even notice him.”
“No fair! No fair! No fair!” Anzu cried. “You get to be picked up at school by real ninja!”
Umeko looked envious. She nodded along with Anzu’s cries. Fu was smiling again.
Sakura rolled her eyes.
“I’ve already promised to walk you both to school tomorrow. What more do you want?”
“Come with Mama to pick us up too.” Umeko immediately demanded. Anzu nodded. “That’ll make it fair.”
“I can’t. I’ll be with my team tomorrow afternoon.”
“But that’s not fair!” cried Anzu.
“It’s not like I’ve never pick you two up from school.”
“That was different! You weren’t a real ninja then!”
Memories of hard hands gripping Sakura’s shoulders and lifting her, a large, cool hand wrapping itself around her wrists and casually grinding her bones together, digging past hard bone and slippery organs for the heart, her teeth humming with chakra as she sank them into a man’s throat, the taste of blood all tumbled through Sakura’s mind.
If I wasn’t a real ninja then, what was I?
Sakura blinked and shook her head.
“Sakura-neechan’s always been a real ninja,” Fu said quietly. “She just doesn’t always look like it.”
She wiggled her toes against Sakura’s ankles. It was not a ticklish sensation but Sakura smiled anyway.
“No more whining,” Sakura said briskly. “I’m hungry. Did anyone see what we’re having for dinner?”
The next morning it was difficult to get out of bed. Everything hurt.
Kakashi’s going to be late for team pictures anyway, Sakura mentally grumbled as she worked to lever herself out of bed. And I can probably beg off of walking the twins. Unless the girls come to get me. Or Kakashi’s on time to screw with me.
That thought propelled her out of bed and into a hot shower.
********************
Jiro had been a photographer for twenty-seven years and he loved it. Sadly, he had lived most of his working life in a Hidden Village. The work was steady - twice a year he took pictures of the incoming academy students, graduated students, and new genin teams. Once a year he took pictures of each academy class - but the clients were strange.
Take the masked man - Hatake Kakashi.
If he counted the picture he was hired to take today, Jiro had taken all of the Hatake’s milestone pictures. He had even taken the Hatake’s genin team pictures twice - once with Yondaime and once with Yondaime, an Uchiha, and a medic. And that young man still gave Jiro the heebie jeebies. It might have been something about the mask. Or the dead fish eyes. Or his bored attitude.
It was a particularly busy day for Jiro - incoming academy students and new genin teams were cluttering up his waiting room - when the trio of girls slipped into his offices.
He would never have noticed them but for the hair.
The oldest girl looked perfectly normal with her long black hair, dark brown eyes, and pink sundress. The bright blue and yellow friendship bracelet was odd and a bit childish but all of the girls in that family wore the damn things.
The sun dress perfectly matched the second oldest girl’s hair. It was bright pink and barely brushed the nape of her neck. The girl herself was wearing a fitted red shirt with sleeves that came to her elbows, black shorts, a white skirt, and big black boots. Like most ninja she had the pouch of weapons on the back of one hip, and the thigh holster of weapons on the opposite leg. Unlike any other ninja that Jiro had ever seen she was wearing dozens of friendship bracelets. Some were bright and new while others were ratty old disease catchers. She was also carrying something wrapped in a cloak.
Between the two older girls, and holding both of their hands, was the youngest girl. She had shoulder-length mint green hair and startling orange eyes. The girl was wearing a white sundress, an indigo and yellow friendship bracelet, and skipping.
Just as he remembered Hatake Kakashi for his creepiness, he remembered this family for its bright hair. Every year he took family photographs for the Haruno family. That poor man had been blessed with four strong-willed daughters, three of them with hair in varying shades of pink. Then the man turned around and took on another rambunctious daughter and the kyuubi container. Not a proper son to carry on the family name in sight.
Truly, the parents were saints.
The pinkette smiled dazzlingly as she settled down next to a blonde ninja girl. She was wearing a red ribbon in her hair and a friendship bracelet too.
Must be the latest fashion in ninja circles.
When the blonde asked what was wrapped in her cloak, the pink-haired girl’s smile slipped into a grin as she explained it was for her team photograph.
A terrible sense of premonition shivered up and then back down Jiro’s spine.
This is going to be trouble, Jiro thought with heavy acceptance.
The youngest Haruno was there for her intake picture for the Shinobi Academy. The middle girl was there for her team photograph. And the oldest girl was there to chaperone the youngest one.
When Jiro finally had time to catch his breath, the pinkette had been joined by an Uchiha boy and the Hatake.
Of course, Jiro thought even as he said, “Your appointment was two hours ago, Hatake-san.”
The two children shot the older ninja accusatory glares. Hatake’s only visible eye curved in what Jiro thought might be a smile.
“I got lost.”
“Lost?” said Jiro suspiciously. He knew very well that Hatake Kakashi had not only lived in the village his entire life but also had found Jiro’s studio on several previous occasions.
“In an oil painting. This morning when -”
“Never mind,” Jiro said with a sigh. “Is this it?”
“No. We’re missing one teammate,” Hatake Kakashi said with a sunny smile. “Perhaps he fell into an oil painting as well?”
Jiro sigh. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, only now remembering why he found the Hatake so creepy. It was not just the eye or the mask or his poor attitude. It was because he always knew just what to do to send Jiro’s blood pressure skyrocketing and his brain pulsing with agony.
I’m going to need a lie down after this. Jiro said as he tried to figure out how long a lunch he could take without losing too much business to that new photography studio down on Kunai Alley.
After half an hour of the Hatake and his evil minions, Jiro had had enough.
“I’m taking the picture right now,” he declared as he ushered the group into the courtyard behind his studio. Hatake had asked for a nature shot. “I don’t care who is or isn’t in it. You can come back some other time with that third guy.”
Jiro set up his tripod and camera, arranged the shinobi, and was just about to take the shot when a blur of orange, white, and red swirls threw itself out of a tree and into the shot.
“What the -” Jiro gasped, his finger pressing the button accidently.
His flashbulbs and camera went off, capturing the next few moments for posterity.
Click!
“Ah, there he is,” Kakashi said with his trademark smile as the blur of orange and white with red swirls landed between the Uchiha and the pinkette, jostling them apart.
Click!
The other members of Team Seven finally got a good look at Naruto. The Hatake’s face faulted, the girl’s face flushed, and the Uchiha gaped.
Naruto - and Jiro certainly remembered him after his graduation photograph - had once again painted himself white with red swirls. He was a nightmarish parody of a kabuki actor. Or maybe a cracked geisha. A deranged and potentially murderous clown, perhaps?
“You idiot!” Sasuke and Sakura shouted in tandem. Two fists came down on Naruto’s head as the camera clicked again. “Don’t do such stupid things!”
Click!
The weird kid’s two teammates stood over him, their arms crossed and scowling. Behind them, Hatake looked thoroughly embarrassed.
“Eh heh,” Kakashi smiled his best smile at the photographer and rubbed the back of his head ruefully. “Can we get another one?”
Click!
Jiro finally remembered to take his finger off of the trigger.
“After Naruto washes his make up off,” Sakura said firmly.
“Hnn!”
Naruto pouted. “You two are no fun at all.”
Under the combined force of their glare, he slouched off to the bathroom.
“Interesting use of teamwork,” the Hatake muttered.
The pinkette flushed again. The Uchiha tossed his head haughtily.
Despite himself, Jiro grinned.
“You’ll have to pay for all of these pictures,” the photographer said firmly.
“That’s fine,” the Haruno said. Hatake looked pained. “I’d like quadruple prints of all of them though.”
“Of course.” That had been the original agreement after all.
“Oh!” The girl’s eyes widened. “I’ll be right back.”
The second time the group stood in the wooded courtyard for a photograph, the girl was holding her cloak-wrapped parcel.
Hatake stood at the back with his three students arranged in front of him from tallest to shortest. That left the girl of the left, the Uchiha in the middle, and Naruto on the right.
“Ready?”
The four ninja all plastered their widest smiles on.
“Steady!”
The girl dropped the cloak and leaned into the Uchiha, jostling against him as she thrust the picture in front of the group.
Click!
A perfect photograph of the girl, one hand holding the picture in front of the group and the other arm wrapped around the Uchiha’s shoulders for balance, crushed into the Uchiha’s side. She was wearing a wide shit-eating grin. The Uchiha was glaring fiercely at the girl, presumably for touching him. Naruto’s face was twisted into a horrified grimace as he stared down at the picture. Behind the three children, Hatake Kakashi looked thoroughly resigned to whatever mayhem was about to happen.
The picture itself was of the two boys, their mouths mashed together into the most awkward looking kiss that Jiro had ever seen.
It has to be a first kiss, Jiro thought.
Click!
The next picture captured an image of both boys staring down at the picture with horror. Their teacher peeked over their shoulders, his expression bemused.
“Eh heh,” Hatake said. “Not the team romance that I’d braced myself for. Seriously.”
“But - I - How -” Naruto glared at the Uchiha. “You said you’d stolen this!”
“I did!”
“You were plotting against me?” She demanded. Her voice was shrill but there was no note of surprise in it. “How could you?”
Naruto snatched the picture and waved it at her, making wordless noises of protest. The Uchiha grunted emphatically.
“I let you steal my pretty princess camera! I’d already taken the film out!” The girl flipped her short hair at them. “Good thing for me that I’m smarter than you two combined, huh?”
Click!
Jiro captured an image of the boys glaring and waving the photograph at her while she smirked at them.
Naruto dropped the framed picture. The boys lunged.
With a small shriek, the girl replaced herself with a log (Where did she get it? Jiro wondered) and bolted. The boys were only a few steps behind her.
Their team leader, ignoring the shrieks and death threats coming from his scrambling team, leaned over to pick up the photograph.
He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“I suppose it’s time for the sex talk.” He sighed. “I was hoping to avoid that. At least I don’t have to worry about anyone accidentally getting pregnant. I suppose that’s a good thing. But they aren’t sharing a two-man tent, I can promise you that.”
Click!
He captured an image of the three genin tumbling and fighting amongst themselves in the background while their teacher obliviously stared down at a framed photograph of the two boys kissing.
“Do we have to pay for all of those?” Hatake Kakashi complained. “Seriously, I think you’re just taking pictures to take pictures at this point. You’re driving the price up on purpose.”
“Sorry,” Jiro said as he guiltily slipped his finger off of the trigger. “It’s not usually this… loud. Or exciting.”
The other adult shot Jiro a pained look. “Lucky.”
He slipped the photograph into his hip pouch thing and waded into the mess of screaming, flailing limbs.
The third time was the charm.
“If any of you as much as blink before or during this picture, I’ll make you pray for death,” Hatake threatened.
This time the girl was in the middle. The Uchiha was glowering into the camera with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Naruto was scowling at his teammates with his arms crossed over his chest. The girl was giggling, one arm slung around each boy’s shoulders. Hatake, who had a hand on each boy’s head, was smiling his widest, creepiest smile behind that awful mask as he leaned forward and over the girl’s head.
Click!
The boys immediately moved away from their teammates.
“Do you think it came out well?” asked Hatake.
“Oh yes,” Jiro lied. More truthfully he added, “It’s definitely the best one of the bunch.”
The girl paid for copies of all of the previous pictures. Hatake purchased four copies of the last photograph.
Jiro had a feeling that he had better develop those pictures and get them to their respective purchasers as soon as possible. In a Hidden Village, incriminating things had a tendency to disappear. He was going to need to be able to keep the purchasing prices if he was going to take the afternoon off.
That twinge behind Jiro’s eyes had developed into a pounding migraine.
I hate ninja so, so much.