Touch - Chapter 14

[subtle_shades]

Title: Touch
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Content Notes: None
Disclaimer: I have no rights to or claims on the Naruto franchise, trademark, copyright, or characters. This is for fun, not profit.
Summary: In the future what's left of humanity sends the Rokudaime Hokage back in time to make some changes. Sadly, they can't send all of her. When a seven-

Comments

Late to the Party! (Part 2)

[oroburos69]

I really like Kakashi's hallucinations. As reflections of his own conscience or as reflections of how he feels Obito and Minato would want him to behave (lol that his hallucinations tell him how to behave appropriately in public), they make him a better person. Obviously, it would be preferable if they were an internal conscience rather than external hallucinations, but hey, it's nice to see that he does know how to and want to be a good person. Without them, I would probably consider your Kakashi to be a sociopath or to have serious, irresolvable social difficulties. With the hallucinations, I consider him a person so disconnected to himself that he assigns his sense of justice and right/wrong to other people because he can't acknowledge his own morality.

Also, it's just plan cute, in a psycho kind of way.

While his worries had been larger in scale, Kakashi was painfully familiar with her feelings.

Empathy! Awwwwwww, so cute it kills me! Also, nice sign of him identifying with her, and an association I hadn't thought to make.

Jeez, I should have some insightful comment on Kakashi's thoughts (via Minato and Obito, he's actually pretty self-aware), but I'm stuck on how darn cute the whole thing is. And I adore Tenzo's reaction to Sakura. And even more, Sakura's reaction to Tenzo. It works very well, especially in context of the previous chapter where you showed their future relationship. They have a very interesting dynamic, as you write it.

Kakashi understood the reason for Tenzo’s ridiculous happiness. It was rare for people to feel at ease around Tenzo, much less to be familiar with him. Like Kakashi, he had been a chunin at age six. Like Yondaime’s son, the circumstances surrounding his origins made those who knew of them wary of him. Everyone else took their leads off of that.

That was one of the reasons that Tenzo was so fond of his ANBU mask. When he wore it, he was judged by his abilities rather than his identity.

Nevertheless, Kakashi was chagrinned to find he was jealous his stalker preferred Tenzo over him.

Was I saying he's self-aware? Lol. I lied. He likes Sakura for exactly the same reasons he says that Tenzo likes her, doesn't he? Subtly done. Actually, you have a lot of lines that do similar things, and they are all very nice. I like how non-explicit the emotions are, and how multi-layered it makes the narrative.

This proves that I’ve notice her movements. (Noticed)

Also, that be some quality paranoia right there!

The foreshadowing in the scene with Iruka is lovely, and I think his statement about the nature of ninja is very telling. It's an interesting take on the character, especially contrasted with the fact that in this story, Sakura has successfully appealed to the good nature of many high-ranking ninja, purely on the strength of her ability to be adorable and determined at them.

He gave her a bunny? O.O That's so SWEET! *Melting inside* I love the details like that ( even if the he in question was Tenzo…Still cute!).

You've done a great job making her be six (Bunny agreed with her! :D), I love that you haven't forgotten about Naruto, and Kakashi's mess of feelings is fascinating. I'm also really interested in learning more about her family. And the mysterious terrible trio. *Poke. Poke*

Re: Late to the Party! (Part 2)

[subtle_shades]

*is starry-eyed* You are all over stuff. Seriously.

That is exactly the sort of Kakashi I was going for! I spent awhile on wikipedia (and its outside links) and a couple of other sites trying to figure out how broken was too broken to fix. (My browser history probably looked scary during that period.) I actually rewrote a couple of Kakashi/Obito/Yondaime scenes without Obito and Yondaime in them (just to make sure that they added to their scenes) but Kakashi by himself wasn't just damaged - he was quietly batshit. He was far too unstable to leave with any child. (Including ax-crazy Itachi.) With Obito and Minato, he's still not anywhere near okay but at least he *could* be eventually. (I think.)

*is gleeful over racking up cute!psycho points*

See! Empathy and the ability to identify with others = not a sociopath yet. Also, I genuinely think Kakashi/Sakura have some of that same mirror-ness that Sasuke/Naruto and Sasuke/Kakashi have. There are differences, of course, but I think they'd always understand each other better than they'd understand Naruto or Sasuke.

I'm glad you like the Tenzo/Sakura dynamic. Honestly, they just seemed to click in a fun, messy way. Then I worried about that because Tenzo gets so little attention in the series. Then I decided screw it, it's not like he gets a lot of attention in the series.

And yeah, Kakashi's very self-aware - until it applies to something potentially painful that he'd rather not examine too closely. Then he's an idiot.

He likes Sakura for exactly the same reasons he says that Tenzo likes her, doesn't he? Yes. Yes he does.

Subtly done. Actually, you have a lot of lines that do similar things, and they are all very nice. I like how non-explicit the emotions are, and how multi-layered it makes the narrative. SQUEE!! *is hopping and blushing and happy because that is exactly what I was going for*

I, uh, cannot comment on the Iruka scene. That is all I can say on that. Really.

I think you're the first person to acknowledge that there are two potential bunny-givers.

I'm glad that the six-ness comes through as well as my love of messy details.

Thanks for reading & commenting!