fic: Jaws of Life

[subterrain]

Fandom: SPN, Sam/Dean
Rating: PG-13, character death
Spoilers: Up through All Hell Breaks Loose, Part II
Summary: Three weeks back from the dead, Sam Winchester knows two things: one, that they're fighting a war that will not be won; and two, that his is the hand that will take Dean's life.
Notes: 4100ish words. And there's also a second part, or a

Comments

[tabaqui]

Ah, man.
He thought, I won't ever sleep again.

But he was wrong. When the wet and the cold got too much for his canvas jacket and leather boots, the wan sun both blinding and cold, he closed his eyes. And imagined, in the brush of wind across the flats, that he heard his own breath echoed back again. And he slept.

That is...devastatingly perfect. That's so damn good, and so fucking horrible. I'm crying on my keyboard and this is just...
Utterly, utterly lovely.
*but i hate it*
But it's perfect.
*sobs*

[subterrain]

Me too! I hate it too! *shakes fist at character death*

I'm so glad we can sit here and curse it together.

[subterrain]

I ALSO CHOOSE DEATH FOR SAM, AND YOU KNOW IT. Alas, I like my metaphors more than I like my handguns, so I guess someone could argue the point. Someone stupid. But thems the breaks.

And you're damn lucky I didn't start cutting! If it hadn't been for yesterday's prompt I would've fucking lost it. In fact, I wrote 90% of this guy, then turned around and wrote 90% of the schmoop in the other one, and then bled out the endings. SIMULTANEOUSLY. FOUR HANDS, MOTHERFUCKER.

Except not. GOODNESS WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD TO ME? You make me die of glowing. MY MISERY IS SO YOURS 4REEL.

[benvolio_daemon]

OW OW OW. This was incredible, and painful, dear God. I don't do deathfic very well in this fandom, so this hurt, but I'm glad I read it. I'm also glad you ended it with a bit of hope, or I'd be even more of a mess right now than I am.

I loved this line especially, which made my heart constrict:
“Stop moving around, for fuck's sake, Sam,” Dean's face was half-buried in pillow, but his voice was still sharp, commanding. “Just stay here. Just come back and stay.”

I can totally see Dean killing himself/Sam killing him as one last "fuck you" to the demon. The SPN universe in this fic is a bit darker than the show's verse, which I love. That tinge of despair is written wonderfully.

[subterrain]

I'm so glad you made it through unscathed! I am all for the melancholic despair, but you're right, deathfic kind of makes me sad like weepy. I procrastinated writing the end for probably 8 hours, I was just all but, Saaaaaaaaaaam every time I tried. :/

[autumnsrust]

wow, this was absolutely beautiful. heartbreaking but beautiful.

[subterrain]

Thank you, I'm glad it hit a mark. And also: thanks for reccing me over at your journal! It's very nice of you.

[dodificus]

well, this just made me want to cry, I almost *did* cry. I wasn't prepared at all for the ending. Being the naive girl that I am I really thought all would end well. This was *really* good, even if it did break my heart.

[subterrain]

goodness, thank you! I found myself writing them out of it, and had to stop myself. So you're not naive, just following my unconscious cues towards a happy ending. I take full responsibility!