that laser beam that I built last year
So, true fact: lj only allows you to go back 100 entries on your flist. Somehow I find this absurd and irritating even though I just did as much of a purge as I've ever done and my flist is now tiny, tiny, tiny because most of us barely/rarely post anyway and some of us have accidentally deleted our journals, baha, and yeah, I am not around, so who am I to complain?
I was dealing with/caused/lost my mind over a lot of changes and shifts and surprises within many different relationships last spring that made lj kind of a weird place to be. No offense to any parties to the various weirdnesses. I also picked up a therapist and a second boyfriend. Things have been much better since.
And/or maybe I'm just growing up and now spend too much time looking at mint.com to worry about lj. Or maybe I've realized how super boring I am when I whine. Etc, etc. I'm not going to worry about it too much because most of you have done the same thing (i.e., faded in and out) at some point, and life is cyclical and when my boss tells me that I should start a blog about how I have this secret baby-boomer mentality and am basically just a giant hypocrite when it comes to life goals, I tell him NO I AM DONE WITH THE INTERNET 4EVER and then realize in actualfax I am not, and will never be. And also that maybe I speak more honestly and openly to my boss than I do my father.
I spent last weekend reviewing workshop comments on my old short stories from 2006 and finishing My Last Piece of Fan Fiction Ever (12.5 months into my resolution to never write it again, um) and I am mentally preparing for consistently writing fiction for the first time in five years. Even though for the past six months all I've been able to write has been non-fiction and mostly about sex, at least I'm thinking about it. It is occupying a space. I have a table, I have some thoughts.
2009 was a year of external changes that ended with me miserable, and 2010 was a year of totally unplanned wacko internal changes that did me good, and now it's 2011 and I am going to use this to start working. I have half-succeeded in halting my slide down this godforsaken oiltown conformity spiral and now I'm going to claw my way back up until I'm at a height where I can see the mountains on the horizon again.
Also, I am going to bake an orange almond polenta cake to go with the plums I canned back in October, and then I'm going to serve both to my family for a belated holiday dinner.
I was dealing with/caused/lost my mind over a lot of changes and shifts and surprises within many different relationships last spring that made lj kind of a weird place to be. No offense to any parties to the various weirdnesses. I also picked up a therapist and a second boyfriend. Things have been much better since.
And/or maybe I'm just growing up and now spend too much time looking at mint.com to worry about lj. Or maybe I've realized how super boring I am when I whine. Etc, etc. I'm not going to worry about it too much because most of you have done the same thing (i.e., faded in and out) at some point, and life is cyclical and when my boss tells me that I should start a blog about how I have this secret baby-boomer mentality and am basically just a giant hypocrite when it comes to life goals, I tell him NO I AM DONE WITH THE INTERNET 4EVER and then realize in actualfax I am not, and will never be. And also that maybe I speak more honestly and openly to my boss than I do my father.
I spent last weekend reviewing workshop comments on my old short stories from 2006 and finishing My Last Piece of Fan Fiction Ever (12.5 months into my resolution to never write it again, um) and I am mentally preparing for consistently writing fiction for the first time in five years. Even though for the past six months all I've been able to write has been non-fiction and mostly about sex, at least I'm thinking about it. It is occupying a space. I have a table, I have some thoughts.
2009 was a year of external changes that ended with me miserable, and 2010 was a year of totally unplanned wacko internal changes that did me good, and now it's 2011 and I am going to use this to start working. I have half-succeeded in halting my slide down this godforsaken oiltown conformity spiral and now I'm going to claw my way back up until I'm at a height where I can see the mountains on the horizon again.
Also, I am going to bake an orange almond polenta cake to go with the plums I canned back in October, and then I'm going to serve both to my family for a belated holiday dinner.