the power of now, or alternately the power of some point in the vague, near future
I always really, really want to do nostalgic, hopeful, beautiful end-of-the-year posts like all you classy girls do, but jesus H if you all don't just prove that you can collectively and individually write about your lives in ways ten times as elegant and heart-wrenching as I could ever hope to. Basically at this point my End of 2009 post should actually be a "Best of End of 2009 Posts from my Flist" post. Also, it's the 4th so I am way late to the party. So I'll look forward instead of back, because one calms me whereas the other makes me nervous and fretful and sad.
I made a lot of resolutions this year. They are mostly practical and time-sensitive and specific and I would say probably somewhat attainable. I think my only one last year was to go to the gym. Period. And that went alright at a 45% attendance rate, or 165 days of actualfax exercise. This year I'm aiming for somewhere between that and 71%. I will count outdoor running or hikes that require snacks. I will not count walking the dog or traversing the highway home from work. Last night I signed up for a 10k and a mountainous 6k that my mom's done for the past two years. I printed off an eight week training plan for the 21 weeks I have until then so I can build up my endurance. Last year at this time, I would've never guessed that I would actually get into this. Maybe this time next year I'll laugh at myself for thinking this was a permanent change.
Another resolution: quitting fan fiction. Or at least running my mouth off about it a whole hell of a lot. In my more hysterical moments - namely when I'm freaking out about how I have to get a second job before I go down to half-time at work (will the hours cut ever actually happen? will I ever stop freaking out about it?) - I call this quitting writing, but I think my secret hope is that if I bleed dry the self-indulgence then maybe I'll write something else out of desperation. Although, rationally, I think that betting that I'll write something that doesn't involve a blowjob scene is just plain bad odds. I just got to the blowjob scene in the Jon/Spencer story I'm (still) writing for estei, 17 000 words in. Obviously I don't consider working on that story cheating on my resolution because I'm just finishing it up from last year. By that logic, I may just end up writing it for the rest of the year. Or at least until Iron Man 2 comes out.
Another resolution: publish a real story like a real writer. :|
Another resolution: three more Spanish classes. :||||||||
Another resolution: see some more damn shows. 50 this year would be ideal. Probably I will need someone to make me attend instead of hermitting around in my house. Probably I will need that same someone around to hold my hand and stop me from making bad, read: drunken, decisions. The fact that this resolution will be harder than the gym one is telling. I am so freaking antisocial.
Another resolution: that second job. That I've been looking for since, um, last February. Mostly to fund these shows and the ironic furry hats I will need to buy to wear to them. (Hipsters in Calgary: surprisingly scary.)
So, in conclusion: why does it not count as extremely awesome fanart for an indierock vampire AU if it's artwork done to complement a Vampire Weekend album review for a local music rag? Because I am having a really hard time telling the difference. Little instruments! Fangs! Bleeding necks! Ezra Koenig! Oh my heart!
I made a lot of resolutions this year. They are mostly practical and time-sensitive and specific and I would say probably somewhat attainable. I think my only one last year was to go to the gym. Period. And that went alright at a 45% attendance rate, or 165 days of actualfax exercise. This year I'm aiming for somewhere between that and 71%. I will count outdoor running or hikes that require snacks. I will not count walking the dog or traversing the highway home from work. Last night I signed up for a 10k and a mountainous 6k that my mom's done for the past two years. I printed off an eight week training plan for the 21 weeks I have until then so I can build up my endurance. Last year at this time, I would've never guessed that I would actually get into this. Maybe this time next year I'll laugh at myself for thinking this was a permanent change.
Another resolution: quitting fan fiction. Or at least running my mouth off about it a whole hell of a lot. In my more hysterical moments - namely when I'm freaking out about how I have to get a second job before I go down to half-time at work (will the hours cut ever actually happen? will I ever stop freaking out about it?) - I call this quitting writing, but I think my secret hope is that if I bleed dry the self-indulgence then maybe I'll write something else out of desperation. Although, rationally, I think that betting that I'll write something that doesn't involve a blowjob scene is just plain bad odds. I just got to the blowjob scene in the Jon/Spencer story I'm (still) writing for estei, 17 000 words in. Obviously I don't consider working on that story cheating on my resolution because I'm just finishing it up from last year. By that logic, I may just end up writing it for the rest of the year. Or at least until Iron Man 2 comes out.
Another resolution: publish a real story like a real writer. :|
Another resolution: three more Spanish classes. :||||||||
Another resolution: see some more damn shows. 50 this year would be ideal. Probably I will need someone to make me attend instead of hermitting around in my house. Probably I will need that same someone around to hold my hand and stop me from making bad, read: drunken, decisions. The fact that this resolution will be harder than the gym one is telling. I am so freaking antisocial.
Another resolution: that second job. That I've been looking for since, um, last February. Mostly to fund these shows and the ironic furry hats I will need to buy to wear to them. (Hipsters in Calgary: surprisingly scary.)
So, in conclusion: why does it not count as extremely awesome fanart for an indierock vampire AU if it's artwork done to complement a Vampire Weekend album review for a local music rag? Because I am having a really hard time telling the difference. Little instruments! Fangs! Bleeding necks! Ezra Koenig! Oh my heart!
