dreadlessness
Increasingly as I age, happiness becomes absence of pain.The most recurring form of pain for me is mental/emotional in nature and is best described with this word....dread.
I spend way too much of my time in dread. Are is the difference between dead and dread. Are is a verb of being. I and we are human beings. When we are doing nothing at all, no action verbing what so ever, as long as we exist we are, I am, she is etcetera.
So much of my are, my being is filled with dread. Dread is different from anticipation. Anticipation as we all know, even anticipation of delicious pain is a double edged sword. All of our senses are on alert even at those blinding "oh shit" moments when many of us drift off into the infinite or kick the bucket etc. Dread is different.
I see no upside to dread, maybe even a dulling of perception. And then, with me at least, it becomes obsessive. I can't think of anything other than what i'm dreading and no matter how I try to solve the problem, I can't for the life of me see a solution because every dread road ends in a dead end and action in the case of dread is secondary to being.
Today, however, i am remarkably dread free. In other words, I can resist the dreadful temptations lurking around the corner and concentrate on my actions and solutions and perceptions and thought processes and the kaleidoscope of my experience is once again filled with diamonds and the barrel of the kaleidoscope is truning with hope, humor, and positive possibility.
I'm not dreading a damn thing at the moment.
This won't last but while it's here...Hooray for me.
Hand me my clown shoes and seltzer bottle.
I spend way too much of my time in dread. Are is the difference between dead and dread. Are is a verb of being. I and we are human beings. When we are doing nothing at all, no action verbing what so ever, as long as we exist we are, I am, she is etcetera.
So much of my are, my being is filled with dread. Dread is different from anticipation. Anticipation as we all know, even anticipation of delicious pain is a double edged sword. All of our senses are on alert even at those blinding "oh shit" moments when many of us drift off into the infinite or kick the bucket etc. Dread is different.
I see no upside to dread, maybe even a dulling of perception. And then, with me at least, it becomes obsessive. I can't think of anything other than what i'm dreading and no matter how I try to solve the problem, I can't for the life of me see a solution because every dread road ends in a dead end and action in the case of dread is secondary to being.
Today, however, i am remarkably dread free. In other words, I can resist the dreadful temptations lurking around the corner and concentrate on my actions and solutions and perceptions and thought processes and the kaleidoscope of my experience is once again filled with diamonds and the barrel of the kaleidoscope is truning with hope, humor, and positive possibility.
I'm not dreading a damn thing at the moment.
This won't last but while it's here...Hooray for me.
Hand me my clown shoes and seltzer bottle.