In Love, A Master Plan
When i was growing up in thunder bay as the young gay man i used to be. i would see my friends happily coupled with partners that they had been with for a long time. I was jealous. I wanted a love like that, i wanted someone that i could be with for a long time. little did i know i wanted more than just that. As time went on and i moved away from not only my home town but my old self, i grew and realized that wow, now i want more than just a 2 - 4 years relationship; I want love.
I always thought when i was younger that the person i would fall in love with would more than likley be from my past. little did i know how true that would be. I wanted a love like no other, i wanted FIRE WORKS and love at first sight, although love was worth fighting for, i dont want to die looking for it. I wanted someone who i knew right away that i could spend the rest of my days with and be compltley happy, i wanted someone who when i met them a spark ignited deap inside. Above all i wanted someone that i could acually fall in love with for real.
Im good at playing a part, masks are all parts of our selves. We were masks of personalities to fit in with people: Put a mask on and than take it off. I was good with the mask of love, i could put it on and really fool anyone who i wanted to, but i didnt want to fool anymore nor be fooled.
I've been with many men, and i usualy get what i want with the man that i want. I dated someone who i wanted a serious relationship with i got, but i didnt get the right guy. I wanted someone i could date casually but that ended with a serious relationship and serious feelings involved. I wanted a man not a boy, but alas a man was too much for me to tame.
enter the man that i now love.
Who would have thought that you from my past would make you way into my heart and plant your love soo deeply that all other loves would seeminglesly disapear. Poof in a cloud of red and white you took away all the pain, the tears i cried for them, and turned my heart on again. This time it was pure, true connected to someone eles, someone who was also pure, true and looking for more.
No word can describe how i love you, nor how wonderfull you truely are. You maybe flawed, but to me i see past that and see your heart. i see the way you look at me, i feel how much i love you and thats all that matters. You make my days brighter, yet grey because you are not near me. You make me smile for no reason other than the fact that i get to see your beautiful face. there are no words in this world or my mind that can describe anything, but who needs words when the language of love has non?
you taught me that true love is out there, you taught me that no matter what language barriars there maybe it doesnt matter because the language of love is the hearts song, not a song that i can sing or you can sign.
know that my heart is in your hands and vice versa, take care of it as i have taken care of yours. till the day we are together, every beat of this heart is for you.
Yes people I'am very much in love, so much in love that it even makes me sick. i love it though. i love the way he looks at me, i love the way he holds me at night and god forbid if im not in his arms when he wakes up, he puts them around me again.
Master Plan
-------------------------------------------------------
through mountains and prarriers apart, you are always in my heart.
Yeppers, go figure that the boy that i love is on the other side of the mountains. something has to be done about that and smething has been scheming in my mind to do smething about that.
I'm moving to london ontario to be with Merico. here is the plan.
starting in february im going to start selling stuff that i dont need anymore so if there is anything that you like please let me know. after that i will be slowly saving the rest of the money that i need to move and of course there will be a short stop over in thunder bay for a period of a week and 1.2 to two weeks depending on how i feel after that i will moving to london ontario to work than start school in the fall. i will back during the summer with merico for a weding but will probably be more family based ( his side not mine lol ) than an acual visit but i will try and make it out with him a few times.
since im going to be back in thunder bay for awhile there will be parties ( there better be fucking parties! ) and of course some good old chill time with people i havent seen.
my mom told me, Home is where the heart is. My heart is no longer here, its with him. I know this sounds stupid and corny but i feel at home with him. peacfull calm relazed and in love. Im just happy that this happened. I love you my van friends but love has a funny way of turnin things around.
I always thought when i was younger that the person i would fall in love with would more than likley be from my past. little did i know how true that would be. I wanted a love like no other, i wanted FIRE WORKS and love at first sight, although love was worth fighting for, i dont want to die looking for it. I wanted someone who i knew right away that i could spend the rest of my days with and be compltley happy, i wanted someone who when i met them a spark ignited deap inside. Above all i wanted someone that i could acually fall in love with for real.
Im good at playing a part, masks are all parts of our selves. We were masks of personalities to fit in with people: Put a mask on and than take it off. I was good with the mask of love, i could put it on and really fool anyone who i wanted to, but i didnt want to fool anymore nor be fooled.
I've been with many men, and i usualy get what i want with the man that i want. I dated someone who i wanted a serious relationship with i got, but i didnt get the right guy. I wanted someone i could date casually but that ended with a serious relationship and serious feelings involved. I wanted a man not a boy, but alas a man was too much for me to tame.
enter the man that i now love.
Who would have thought that you from my past would make you way into my heart and plant your love soo deeply that all other loves would seeminglesly disapear. Poof in a cloud of red and white you took away all the pain, the tears i cried for them, and turned my heart on again. This time it was pure, true connected to someone eles, someone who was also pure, true and looking for more.
No word can describe how i love you, nor how wonderfull you truely are. You maybe flawed, but to me i see past that and see your heart. i see the way you look at me, i feel how much i love you and thats all that matters. You make my days brighter, yet grey because you are not near me. You make me smile for no reason other than the fact that i get to see your beautiful face. there are no words in this world or my mind that can describe anything, but who needs words when the language of love has non?
you taught me that true love is out there, you taught me that no matter what language barriars there maybe it doesnt matter because the language of love is the hearts song, not a song that i can sing or you can sign.
know that my heart is in your hands and vice versa, take care of it as i have taken care of yours. till the day we are together, every beat of this heart is for you.
Yes people I'am very much in love, so much in love that it even makes me sick. i love it though. i love the way he looks at me, i love the way he holds me at night and god forbid if im not in his arms when he wakes up, he puts them around me again.
Master Plan
-------------------------------------------------------
through mountains and prarriers apart, you are always in my heart.
Yeppers, go figure that the boy that i love is on the other side of the mountains. something has to be done about that and smething has been scheming in my mind to do smething about that.
I'm moving to london ontario to be with Merico. here is the plan.
starting in february im going to start selling stuff that i dont need anymore so if there is anything that you like please let me know. after that i will be slowly saving the rest of the money that i need to move and of course there will be a short stop over in thunder bay for a period of a week and 1.2 to two weeks depending on how i feel after that i will moving to london ontario to work than start school in the fall. i will back during the summer with merico for a weding but will probably be more family based ( his side not mine lol ) than an acual visit but i will try and make it out with him a few times.
since im going to be back in thunder bay for awhile there will be parties ( there better be fucking parties! ) and of course some good old chill time with people i havent seen.
my mom told me, Home is where the heart is. My heart is no longer here, its with him. I know this sounds stupid and corny but i feel at home with him. peacfull calm relazed and in love. Im just happy that this happened. I love you my van friends but love has a funny way of turnin things around.