COS15, Part 1 - William Moseley, Independent
Title: Chronicles of Skandar
Chapter: 15 - William Moseley, Independent / Skandar Keynes, Superstar
Pairing: Will/Skandar.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The last chronicle of William. William watches Skandar from afar.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, and they have no bearing on anyone at all. It's FICTION.
Warnings: Slash. Angst. Fluff.
A/N: This is the FINAL CHAPTER of the Chronicles of Skandar. This chapter was supposed to be a standalone, but I figured it belonged here. It's basically the last Chronicle of William, bridging the three year gap and explaining who it was that influenced William.
COS1 - Unrequited
COS2 - Don't Mess with Me, Girly
COS3 - Broken Angel
COS4 - Coming Clean
COS5 - Stupid, Stupid, Skandar
COS6 - Playing for Real
COS7 - Playing for Keeps
COS8 - Slaying the Dragon
COS9 - Can't Hide Forever
COS10 - Fame is Fleeting, This is Real
COS11 - Absence in Love
A Chronicle of William
COS12 - Confess your Sins / Beg Forgiveness
COS13 - Finding Home
COS14 - A Play for Life / Choices
COS15 - William Moseley, Independent
“Fuck my career. I just want you.”
Those words echoed through William’s mind, giving him some reassurance that going public wasn’t such a bad idea. It was obviously something his teacup wanted terribly, and though it may have seemed otherwise to Skandar, it was something William wanted just as terribly. Now as he drove Georgie back to her hotel in Skandar’s speedy little WRX, he felt an incredible sense of relief.
“William, you’ve been smiling the whole trip. Does Skandar really make you that happy?” Georgie asked as she let her hair fly out the window, being rather wreckless.
Even though he knew he shouldn’t have, William pumped the accelerator for just an instant. It was enough to give Georgie a jerk of surprise as they sped along the harbor bridge of Auckland. He smirked at her as she sat properly in her chair. Her seat belt had been fully fastened the entire time, so he knew the worst she’d get was a little jolt, but it would teach her not to throw her head out the window.
“Sit properly, Georgie.”
“Yes, William.” Georgie said rolling her eyes, “I’m not a child, you know. I’m a woman.”
“You most bloody well are not!” said a horrified William, “You’re a girl, you’re barely sixteen. You’re not dating until you’re bloody well eighteen.”
“William, you’re doing the Peter bit again.”
“I’m allowed to. And if you say anything contrary to that fact, I will soundly beat you stupid.” grinned William.
“What?” Georgie laughed, “You silly old bugger. You’ve gone senile already. Now come on, tell me all about it. Is Skandar good to you?”
“Georgie …” sighed William with a gushing smile, “He’s …”
“You’re really in love, aren’t you? I always knew you loved him, but I just thought you were good friends or like brothers or something. But you’re actually in love, aren’t you?”
“For quite some time.”
“Well … I suppose it’s not all that bad.” Georgie said matter of factly, “But … what about Skandar’s career? Do you think Disney will still want him when they find out you’re together?”
“I …”
“Oh sod the lot of them.” Georgie laughed, “You’ve got enough money, right?”
“Well … I suppose so. Skandar does. He’s been much better with his money than I have with mine. But yes, I think we’d have enough to survive if nobody ever offered us work again.”
“Well good for you.”
Georgie squeezed William’s hand affectionately and in that moment he thought he’d just burst with joy. He beamed back at her with his brilliant teeth shining in his enthusiastic and grateful smile. One hand of support for both Skandar and himself, just one of many he hoped.
He only intended to drop Georgie off at her hotel and leave, but she insisted he say hello to her mother. Unable to say no, he let himself be dragged up to her suite. A suite that was filled with people William hadn’t expected to see until tonight.
“William!” Anna yelled in surprise, before she ran and jumped at him.
He greeted her with an equally enthusiastic hug, burying his head in her neck. Her last visit had done much to mend their fractured friendship, which he was so grateful for. Anna had always been a friend to him. Always steady and reliable. A rudder for him for many years. In many ways she was to him, what Sarah was to Skandar. Though there were many rumors that he and Anna were more than friends, it had never been the case.
“William.” said a voice that was easily recognizable as Andrew’s.
“Hello, Andrew.” William said with a proper nod before shaking Andrew’s hand, “Brilliant to see you, old chap.”
“Gosh, William, you should’ve brought Skandar. We could’ve skipped dinner and just hung out here all day.” said Anna.
“Yes, indeed. One last informal day before we return to the furnace. It won’t be the same without you two.” Andrew said sincerely, “How are you both doing?”
As Anna began talking to Andrew about her latest career developments, William greeted Georgie’s mother before sitting next to Anna. The next hour seemed to fly by with many laughs and memories shared of times past. It didn’t seem right without Skandar though. Soon Willam found himself looking at his watch, realizing how long he was taking and how Skandar would probably be waiting for him.
All through the conversation however, he couldn’t help feeling some unspoken vibe between himself and Andrew. It was not at all negative, but it suggested that there were things that needed to be brought to light. William could still remember the last conversation he and Andrew had in England. Obviously Andrew had figured out by now that William was once again staying with Skandar, and though neither had admitted it, William could feel that Andrew was well aware of their relationship.
He could not actually detect any condemnation on Andrew’s part, but merely a wish to be made part of the loop. Yet he could still feel something in Andrew’s body language that suggested he was anxious. Probably anxious about how their relationship would affect Voyage of the Dawn Treader and perhaps even more, Skandar’s promising career.
“You know William has a secret, don’t you, Willy?” Georgie grinned, and for a moment, William wished she would just leave it alone.
Though he knew they would be going public with their relationship, he did not wish to do so without Skandar. He wanted them to have a united front when finally their relationship was revealed.
“Oooh, a secret?” Anna smirked, “What kind of secret, William? New girlfriend?”
“Oh no!” Georgie said sound more like a ten year old than a near sixteen year old, “That’s not it at all!”
“Georgie …” William said with tight lips, “Not now.”
“But why? We don’t keep secrets here, do we?”
“I hope not.” Andrew added in, a look of seriousness on his face, “I think if there is something that Georgie knows, then perhaps the rest of us should. Or would you like to have a word with me on your own, William?”
Anna’s face quickly changed to one of suddenly serious concentration. Her astute mind quickly picked up that Andrew somehow already knew something about this secret. A secret that didn’t seem like something to be joked about.
“That’s probably not a bad idea, Andrew.” William said with a tight lips, “Outside then?”
“We’ll be right back.” Andrew nodded to the girls and Georgie’s mother.
They stepped outside the main room and into the ensuite. Andrew’s hand rested on William’s shoulder reassuringly, much to William’s relief. He was anxious because Andrew had always been someone who watched out for him over the years and he was someone William didn’t want to disappoint or fall offside with.
“It’s alright, William. You can tell me anything. You know that.” Andrew said in his almost light hearted voice.
“I think you already know, Andrew.”
“Me knowing is not the same as you saying, William.”
“Alright …” William said taking a deep breath, “Skandar and I are … well … we’re very much … in love, you see. We’re a couple, Andrew. I’ve even asked him to marry me.”
“I’m sorry, did you just say marry you?” Andrew said in surprise, “The first part I knew a long time ago. I could see things change between you two during Prince Caspian’s production. William, Skandar’s not old enough to be married. Well, I mean he is old enough, but you’re both so young. You might be old enough to get married, but Skandar isn’t even in his twenties yet.”
“I didn’t say we were going to get married now. It was more of a standing request for a few years down the track.”
“I see.” Andrew said as he took a few moments to digest William’s confession.
“I do love him very much, Andrew.”
“I know, Will.” Andrew said rubbing Will’s arm, “I’m sure he loves you just as much. Who would’ve thought that annoying little brat would one day become a fiendishly responsible and sober young man? He’s a good kid. Or man as he would insist I say.”
“I don’t mean to cause trouble.” William said with an anxious sigh, “He wanted to tell you before, but I told him not to. I wanted to keep it a secret because I was afraid of what it would do to his career and this production. He thinks you’d recast Edmund.”
“It’s too late to recast Edmund, and even if I could, I wouldn’t. I won’t lie though, Will. This is going to make things very difficult. For Skandar and … for the rest of us. You already know how this game works and what the Narnia fanbase consists of. I’d love to say that your personal life is your personal life, but Skandar is the star now. A scandal could just …”
“We’re not a scandal, Andrew.”
“I know. I know.” sighed Andrew, “I need to think this out. Voyage will go ahead, but your relationship could very well sink the Narnia franchise if this movie bombs at the box office because of Skandar’s sexuality. He’s going to lose those two Disney contracts, there’s no way around that. They won’t want him headlining two of their big upcoming projects.”
“Will!” Anna yelled as she burst through the doors, “Is it true what Georgie says about you and Skandar? Is that why you’re living with him?”
“It’s true.” William said before he felt a stinging slap, “Hey, what was that for?”
“Anna, calm down.” Andrew said with a stern voice, “We’re all adults here.”
“William, what the hell are you doing getting involved with Skandar? We’re family!”
“We’re not related!” William protested, “It’s called acting!”
“We’re family, William. How could you even think of doing something like this? Do his parents even know?”
“They will know soon enough. Skandar seems to think they won’t mind.”
“Well they bloody well should. All this time you were hinting at me in England and it was you all along. You’re the one sleeping with him. It’s disgusting. You’re supposed to be family. Do you have any idea what this is going to do to Skandar’s career?”
“Of course I bloody well do.” William sighed, “I’m not stupid.”
“Then why are you doing this? How can you be so selfish? Can you not bear the thought of Skandar stepping out of your shadow? You had your time at the helm of Narnia, now it’s Skandar’s turn. And what about after that? Out of all of us, he has the best chance of really succeeding. This is going to ruin him. Not to mention your own career.”
“My career is just fine. But you know, I am fully aware of what this will do to Skandar’s career, alright?” said a defensive William, “But thank you for your bloody support, Anna.”
“We’re the older ones, we’re supposed to watch out for them.”
“We’re not blood! We act like family, but we aren’t family!”
“Don’t say that.” Anna said angrily, “We’re family.”
“Alright, fine. We are, but that’s secondary. And just because Skandar and I are together doesn’t mean that we all can’t still look out for each other.”
“You’re going to ruin him, William. Don’t you understand that?” said a passionate Anna, “I love you and I love Skandar, but this is his time, William. You had yours in the spotlight. You can’t take it away from him.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Will, none of us want to hurt you, but maybe you should think about the big picture here.” said Andrew, “Under normal circumstances, I’d be the first to congratulate you, but there is so much at stake here. A lot of people’s livelihoods depend on this movie. Then of course, there is Skandar. He is on the verge of superstardom, William. Greater than you or Anna have been able to achieve. Disney is high on him because he doesn’t cause trouble, he’s not into drugs, he’s good looking and his popularity only increases as he gets older. They’re pegging him as their next big thing. It’s unfair I know, but he won’t get these same opportunities if your relationship becomes public knowledge. That’s just the reality of the situation.”
“I know that. I told him that, but he wants us to be together.”
“Then … maybe you shouldn’t be.” Anna said in a soft voice, “For his sake. You have to put Skandar first.”
“You’ve always been the oldest, William. You’ve always been the one to watch over the other three.” Andrew said with a somber nod as he gripped William’s shoulder, “You’ve always thought of others before yourself. I think this is one of those times. And no matter what, we’ll always be here for you.”
“He’s right, Will. We’ll always be here for you.”
William slumped back against the wall and processed everything he’d just been told. They were not revelations by any means. He believed the exact same things as both Anna and Andrew. He listened silently as they continued telling him how Skandar had a fantastic opportunity and how much this would change his life, even more than already had. They emphasized the point that this was Skandar’s time, not Skandar and William’s time.
The more they spoke, the more William’s heart sank, even more so when Georgie made her way in and entered. She seemed uncertain of whether she agreed with Anna and Andrew, but eventually she sighed and supposed that maybe they were right. He felt like he was being ganged up on, but he also knew that these three people genuinely cared about him as well. It was an awkward situation, but in the end, William realized that he agreed with them. He could not, and would not deny Skandar of his opportunity to fly.
It seemed as though they’d spoken for hours, well everyone else had spoken while William silently listened. No one spoke a condemning word toward William, but it did not make their words sting any less. Their intent was clear. They sought to break him from Skandar and force him to end their relationship. Finally, with eyes that were hollow and resigned, William relented.
“You’re right.” William sighed with watery eyes, “I have to leave him.”
“It’s for the best, Will. And you’ll still have us.” said a sympathetic Anna.
“Actually, I won’t have you. If I leave him, I leave all of you too. You said my time was over, then so be it. If for any reason you see fit to reunite the four of us in a press conference or any other event, I will not be there.” William said with a stiff upper lip as he stood up straight, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find a way to break Skandar’s heart quickly and as gently as possible.”
“William …” Andrew said as William turned to leave, “Don’t leave like this. We’re not your enemies. None of us want this.”
“William, please. We love you.” insisted Anna.
William stood at the door with as stoic a face as he could muster. He nodded faintly and muttered that it had been a pleasure working with them over the years and he wished them well. As far as he was concerned, they were still tied to Skandar and if he was going to leave Skandar, he would have to leave anything related to him as well. It would have to be a clean break for both their sakes.
It wasn’t until he reached the WRX that he let himself break down in tears. How could things have turned so fast? He finally let himself give in to Skandar’s wish for them to go public, and now it had all gone wrong. He was going to leave Skandar.
He spent hours driving around aimlessly, trying to get his head around how he was going to break Skandar’s heart. What would he do? Where would he go?
Realizing if he didn’t take some steps before he returned to Skandar, he would never take them. With that in mind, he called the travel agent on his cell phone and booked the next available flight out of Auckland and back to England. He called ahead to book a taxi to pick him up from Skandar’s house so that he could drop the car off, end his relationship with Skandar and leave. If he let himself linger, he knew Skandar would talk him out of leaving and he could not allow that.
As if to mirror his feelings, the skies opened up with rain as a huge storm descended over the bays. As he drove into the driveway of the house he desperately wanted to be his home, he took a deep breath to summon his strength. His heart felt hollow and ached in his chest, for he did not think he could ever recover from having to give away the greatest love of his life. He knew Skandar would recover, because Skandar was far stronger than he gave himself credit for. Skandar was also younger, so would have more time to get over him, whereas William was over four years older and knew without a doubt that he’d never love anyone the way he loved Skandar. He’d loved him for too long, even before they were together, just to be able to just brush it aside as some failed romance. It was more than that. For William, it was like breathing.
Finally, he mustered the courage to step out of the car and walk up the front steps. For the longest time he stood in front of the door as rain buffeted him. His heart sank as he finally opened the front door.
If there was ever one moment in William’s life that haunted him, it was this one. Just as he expected, Skandar fretted and fussed over him, trying to get him out of the rain. William would not budge, apologizing even as Skandar begged him to get inside. It wasn’t until William explained why he was sorry that Skandar seemed to register just what was going on. William noticed his taxi pulling up outisde, before he handed Skandar’s keys back to him.
“Will, what happened?” asked Skandar, “You’re scaring me. Where are you going?”
“I’m going back to England.” William sobbed, rain washing his tears down his face, “And I’m not coming back.”
It was all downhill after that. He rushed past to get some of his most necessary documents and belongings. It took all William’s energy to fend off Skandar’s desperate pleas and declarations of love. Though William tried to convince Skandar this was the right thing to do, Skandar would not hear any of it. William believed his resolve would break any moment if he did not leave immediately. Even when he managed to make it to the driveway, Skandar would not relent. His eyes were desperate and pleading as he forced William to face him.
“You at least tell me why exactly you’re going to leave me. You owe me that much.” Skandar cried, before he started sobbing uncontrollably with rain washing away his tears, “Damn it, Will, I’m not letting you walk out on me that easy. You can’t go! I won’t let you!”
“Skandar!” William yelled, gripping Skandar’s arm, “Look at me!”
“I’m looking.” sobbed Skandar, with cries that broke William’s belief that he was doing anything at all for Skandar’s benefit, “I’m looking, Will. And I still don’t see why you’re leaving.”
“Skandar, listen to me!” screamed William, trying to both speak above the howling wind and rain and still emphasize his determination, “I’m leaving. I’m not just leaving, I’m walking away. I’m walking out of your life. Don’t try to find me, don’t try to call me. I won’t have anything to do with Narnia after this. I’m not going to call you or change my mind about this. When I leave you now … I’m leaving you forever. Because anything less … just wouldn’t be fair to you. There’s no chance for us. You have to accept that.”
“But there is.” Skandar pleaded, “I’ll give you everything I have, just please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”
“Oh god …” William cried with a high pitch in his voice, as if his resolve and heart were breaking at seeing Skandar so weak, “I don’t want to hurt you. You have to get over me. Hate me, loathe me, do whatever it takes. I’m weak, I’m a fool, I’m everything you ever thought bad about me. You’re special, Skandar Keynes. You’re so very special. I can’t keep you for myself. You’re meant for bigger things than I can give you. If we’re together, you’d lose so much. I’m not going to take that away from you. One day you’ll understand why I did this. And I don’t care if you hate me until the day you die. As long as you succeed and have a fantastic life, I won’t care what you think of me. You’re going to have a great life, Skandar. You’ll be brilliant. You’re going to be a superstar.”
“Will, I already am.” cried a shattered Skandar, “Every time you look at me. Every night you come home to me, I’m a superstar. That’s all I care about. That’s all I want.”
He pulled Skandar into a fierce hug and tempted himself with the idea of leaving. It wouldn’t be the last time either. Before he would finally break free of Skandar’s presence, he would be tempted again to stay, but his intent was resolute. Skandar would recover and he would fly. He would be everything William wanted for him.
With one last declaration that he would keep his promise from afar, William slipped into the taxi and let himself be driven away from his teacup. Tears filled his eyes as he watched Skandar pleading after him in the rain. He knew in his heart however, that he was doing the right thing. He wanted so much for Skandar, so much that he could not give himself.
“I’m sorry, Teacup.” William sobbed to himself.
When he arrived at the airport, he quickly dialed in Sarah’s number. He didn’t want Skandar on his own tonight and if anyone could help him, she could. He told her what had happened and begged her to go to Skandar.
“What do you mean you’re leaving him, you dumb bastard?” Sarah yelled, “I know you’re blonde, but this is overkill!”
“Sarah, please. Just go to him. Please, Sarah.”
“Of course I will. But you’re making a big mistake. Skandar loves you. He really, truly loves you.” sighed Sarah, “Don’t do this to him. Don’t do it to yourself. I know how much you love him. That’s gotta be worth more than a career, isn’t it?”
“Sarah …”
“I know, Will.” said an understanding Sarah, “I still think you’re a stupid bastard, but damn do I love you for being so damn selfless. I’m so sorry it’s come to this.”
“So am I. Take care of him?”
“I will.”
And with that, William hung up and left behind his life in New Zealand. He returned to England and attempted to rebuild his shattered life. His family took him in and for a time they were his greatest strength. However, he did not wish for Skandar to be able to contact him, so he quickly bought himself an apartment in central Manchester and began living a life alone.
For a time, he shut himself off from the rest of the world. His indie movie wouldn’t release for another six months and his last starring role was Prince Caspian which was quite some time ago. He was able to walk the streets fairly easily without drawing any attention to himself. He received emails from both Anna and Andrew, desperately asking him to contact them, but he did not. For a time, he even received some from Skandar that became more like diary entries than anything else. Skandar knew that William wouldn’t respond, but he seemed to use William’s email as his outlet for any day to day frustrations on the set of Voyage of the Dawn Treader. It made William feel somewhat useful. Yet eventually the emails stopped and William realized that Skandar was probably moving on with his life.
When the trades came out with a Disney press release, stating that Skandar had been signed to a two picture and options deal after Voyage, William swelled up with pride. He knew now that he made the right decision to leave Skandar. Though he swore to leave Skandar be, he could not resist the urge to send him a simple note of congratulations.
‘Go get ‘em, Teacup. You’re a superstar.’
After sending that note, William finally decided to move on with his life. He continued watching from afar, as Skandar’s star continued to rise. While William auditioned for small independent films that were shot in dank hills of Scotland, Skandar was being treated like a king on the set of Voyage.
Time marched on and William managed to secure a small part in a coming of age film where he played five years his junior. Fortunately, his boyish charm and good looks enabled him to do so with ease. For a time he even managed to distract himself from thoughts of his teacup, but he was soon reminded of him when news reached him that filming had already begun on Skandar’s first solo project for Disney. A family friendly film with Skandar playing the lead role of a student who is forced to save the world from an alien invasion. Not exactly the most original plot device, William thought, but the creative minds behind it seemed to hint that it might just work. Not to mention Disney was throwing Narnia like money at it’s development. He even read that Skandar was being paid six million dollars against gross percentages, something William could only dream of. He barely made a smidgen of that for his last role. Where his fee seemed to lower with each film, Skandar’s only increased in incredible amounts.
Before he knew it, over a year had passed since he left New Zealand. He had buried himself in work and done his best to push aside memories of a distant love. However, he was reminded everytime he looked in the mirror and saw the tattoo on the back of his shoulder that read ‘Just for Skandar’. He toyed with the idea of removing it so that no one would make it out in case he ever had to shoot shirtless scenes, but he could not bring himself to. It reminded him that even though they were apart, he still belonged to Skandar. So instead he became adept at covering the tattoo whenever he filmed a movie that required a shirtless scene, which was fairly often. Though he was nowhere near as famous as Skandar anymore, he was still known as one of England’s hottest bachelors. Something that never seemed to change as time went by. He had not been on a date or even dreamed of being with anyone else. It was just never an option for him.
Between the year and a half of Voyage filming to being released, Skandar had shot three films and released one. His first release was a small drama called Hash, about a drug addict who goes clean with the help of his girlfriend. Though it wasn’t anymore original than the alien invasion movie Disney had signed Skandar to, it was well acted with touches of brilliance. It was also incredibly risky in film content, which was odd for Disney. Yet as William had heard in the rumor mill, it was a condition of Skandar signing with Disney, that he have some creative clout in the film.
However, the strangest part for William was seeing Sarah Eljay on screen with Skandar. She played the role of his girlfriend to rave reviews. William wasn’t sure whether he was up to watching the movie, for he had heard much of the graphic scenes. Though he knew Skandar was no drug addict, he played one incredibly well. Most difficult for William was seeing the love scenes that were incredibly graphic. It was a poignant movie and one that drew Skandar great reviews from critics, but the sight of Skandar making out with and simulating sex with someone other than himself was a little hard to stomach.
He began to wonder if perhaps they weren’t just acting, for they seemed to have a great deal of chemistry on screen. Still, if Skandar was going to hook up with anyone, he hoped it would be Sarah. He liked her a lot and knew she was incredibly loyal to Skandar and obviously, he was just as loyal to her.
As the release of Voyage loomed, Skandar’s face began to appear in more and more magazines and tabloids. His move Hash was a hit for a relatively low budget movie, quadrupling its production costs and proving that Skandar’s star had truly ascended. Voyage was poised to be the biggest blockbuster of all the Narnia movies and many of this was attributed to Skandar’s growing popularity.
One tabloid seemed to prove what William already suspected. Skandar and Sarah were a couple. And now he had pictures to prove it.
‘Skandar Keynes photographed in passionate romp with girlfriend, Sarah Eljay in the Bahamas.’
It was your typical trashy tabloid article. Something William loathed reading normally. He’d never been famous enough himself to make a tabloid, but obviously Skandar now was. The article ranted on about how Skandar was madly in love with his long time girlfriend and showed photos of them canoodling on the beach in the bahamas. William managed a sincere smile, grateful that Skandar seemed happy and had found someone new.
As William sat in an anonymous pub near his apartment, he found himself glued to the television fixed to the wall for patrons. There on the screen was Skandar Keynes, former love of his life.
“Superstar Skandar Keynes is unable to return to England for the premiere of Voyage of the Dawn Treader, due to unspecified circumstances. However, his long time girlfriend, Sarah Eljay is expected to attend. It is de…”
“Superstar …” William said proudly, his eyes welling up, “That’s my teacup, he’s a superstar.”
“Hey, weren’t you in … nah, couldn’t be.” said a beer swilling patron sitting next to William, “You look just like him. What’s his name? The other one in that movie with that Skandar bloke.”
“Oh … I forget what his name is.” William said with a small smile, “I think everybody else has too.”
“No, no. I’ve seen him in some other movies. William something, isn’t it? He’s very good. You look just like him.”
“Really?” William said with a happy sigh, “You think he’s good, do you?”
“Oh definitely. I’m just trying to remember his name.”
“William Moseley …” said a voice from behind William.
“Yes, that’s it.” William responded with a smile as he swiveled on his stool to greet the voice, “Oh my goodness …”
Much to his surprise stood Sarah Eljay in the flesh. It had been almost two years since they’d seen each other, and their roles were somewhat reversed. Where William had once been a celebrity of note, Sarah had climbed rather quickly in the fame game. Though as she stood before him, she seemed no different to the last time they spoke. A little older, a little more polished, but still with the same fiery glint of independence in her eyes.
“Hello, Sarah.” William said with a small smile, “How do you do?”
“Hi, Will.” Sarah said with a relieved smile as she forced him into a hug, “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”
“It’s been a long time, Sarah.”
“You look really good, Will.” Sarah said as she rubbed his arm, “You look great. Hot Will for sure.”
“I feel like I should be asking for your autograph now.”
“Don’t be stupid. This fame thing gets old pretty fast, don’t you think? Though it is nice to know that you’ll be able to put food in your cupboard.” laughed Sarah.
She sat down next to him and helped herself to a beer as though she was simply one of the guys. They quickly fell into an easy conversation and caught up with the life and careers of the other, with both seeming hesitant to bring up the subject of Skandar. When they seemed to run out of things to talk about, his name inevitably came up.
“The rumor mill is swirling about news you and Skandar are thinking about getting married.” William said without making eye contact.
“Oh right. I hate the tabloids. Most of the shit in them is just that, you do realize this, don’t you?”
“Yeah. So you two aren’t getting married then?”
“Well … listen, Will.” Sarah sighed, “I actually came here to find you.”
“You did?”
“I am woman, I have superior detective skills. Everyone wants you to come to the premiere though. Skandar’s stuck in Japan with a fractured tibea. You should be there tonight though. You’re a big part of Narnia. It’s not too late. I have tickets right here for you and a date.”
“I don’t have a date. And I’m not coming. Andrew tried to contact me but I just won’t have anything to do with it, ok?”
“I understand.” Sarah said as she rubbed Will’s arm, “Would you at least call him?”
“Who? Andrew?”
“No. Not him. Skandar.”
“Don’t have his phone number. Besides, he’s in Japan.”
“So? I have his number there.” Sarah said as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed in a number, “Skandar?”
William felt his stomach become overwhelmed with butterflies. It had been so long since he’d spoken to Skandar and now the prospect of even hearing his voice live and in person was frightening. Skandar was a superstar the heights of which William had barely touched himself. He felt anxious at the idea of speaking to Skandar, yet Sarah seemed determined for the pair to speak.
“No.” William whispered, making gestures across his neck, “I’m not speaking to him.”
“I have someone I think you should say hello to.” Sarah said to Skandar, before practically forcing the phone to William’s ear.
“Hello?” said the painfully familiar voice of Skandar, “Hay, who is this? This is Skandar Keynes. Hello?”
William closed his eyes at the sound of the voice and let himself drift back to a time when they were together. His breathing quickened as he plucked up the courage to speak. Yet when he did, fate interceded and spared him the fearful prospect of speaking to Skandar.
Static. For reasons he did not know, the phone lost its signal. With a sigh of both relief and disappointment, William handed the cell phone back to Sarah.
“Static.” William said with a small smile, “You should get a move on. I’m sure you have a hundred things to do before the premiere tonight.”
“Are you sure I can’t convince you to come?”
Try as she might, William would not go with her. Begrudgingly she left him to his own devices, but with the promise that one day they would meet again. She also left Skandar’s cell phone number with Will, for reasons he didn’t really understand.
That day his phone went wild with desperate calls from his agent, begging him to attend the premiere of Voyage of the Dawn Treader. She claimed it would do wonders for his exposure, but he refused. When a number came up on his phone that he recognized as Andrew’s, he didn’t even bother answering. How could they expect him to show his face after everything that had happened? The years passing by had done little to change William’s determination to remove himself from his old life.
Voyage became a stunning success, garnering over a billion in global box office takings. William continued watching from the sidelines as his own career seemed to stall. As Skandar’s second Disney film about the student saving the world from aliens hit theaters, so too did William’s independent movie about a gay christian of all things, struggling to reconcile his sexuality with his faith. Skandar’s film garnered box office gold in much the same way as Voyage did, where William’s garnered less than twenty million worldwide.
William’s controversial role had won him equal amounts of praise and criticism. At the very least it had given him a great deal of exposure. The buzz however was enough to secure William a BAFTA nomination and give his career a much needed boost. The nomination in itself was good for generating publicity for the movie and breathe life into its limited release. It also helped immeasurebly in putting the spotlight on William and helped him to promote the movie even further. At almost every interview following the movie, William was asked the inevitable questions about his sexuality. One particular interview gained him much noteriety.
“You’ve come a long way since your Narnia films.” asked the interviewer, Les Fruite, “How many of your fans from back then do you think will carry through to this film?”
“I’m not certain I still have any fans from Narnia after this film.” William laughed, “That’s not true. I’m fortunate to have any fan who enjoys this movie. I’m incredibly proud of it.”
“Naturally the question always arises when an actor takes on a role like this, particularly yourself. You’re well known as one of England’s most eligible bachelors and have been for quite some time. It’s natural for people to wonder if you share any similarities in sexuality with your character.”
“I’m sorry, you lost me after you said I was well known. Obviously you’re very good at your job and are incredibly adequate at regaling your guests with false flattery.” smiled William, “Are you asking me if I am gay?”
“Well, yes, I suppose I am.”
“I’m not going to answer that question and I will tell you why. First of all, it’s nobody else’s business. Second of all, I’m very much single which really negates both gay and straight rumors swirling around about me. Thirdly, if I were to say no, it would perhaps give the connotation that I would be ashamed of being gay, which I most certainly would not be. These days, I’m pretty much asexual.” William said with a relaxed presence.
“So there is no one else in your life?”
“No one else. Don’t look at that to change anytime soon. I’m the second coming of Sir Cliff Richard.”
“So let me put it like this then. We all know you’ve had girlfriends in the past, but eager fans want to know. If the right man came along, could you see yourself in a relationship with them?”
“A romantic relationship?”
“Yes.”
William took his time digesting that question. In his own mind, he knew he’d be single for probably the rest of his life. He’d been single since he left Skandar and he didn’t think it would be fair to be with anyone else when they had no chance of taking his heart. Skandar would always own that. Les did state if the ‘right man’ came along.
“Well, if the right man came along, absolutely, positively, I would have no problem or hesitation at all in being in a romantic relationship with them. Kissing guys is great.” William smirked, “Didn’t you see that part in the movie? Love is love, you know?”
“Have you ever been in love with a girl?”
“Yes. A long time ago.”
“Have you ever been in love with a man?”
William bit his lip. He had never been a good liar and he didn’t plan on becoming one now. As long as he didn’t name Skandar as the object of his love, surely he had nothing to lose by coming clean now. The field of movies he worked in these days meant he didn’t have to keep up an image that would appease the masses. He could just be himself without fearing the consequences a great deal.
“I have been in love with a man.” William said finally, “Very much in love.”
That one interview seemed to fuel even more speculation about William’s sexuality and made him a pin up boy for both men and women alike. Rumors abounded about who this man was, and William quickly realized he should have kept his mouth shut. After three years of distancing himself from Skandar, he had no desire to reveal their relationship and risk hurting Skandar’s career.
William found himself the target of many a romantic gesture from fans and celebrities alike. Yet he met each one with a mature and polite rebuffal. William Moseley was well and truly single, and had no intention of changing that status anytime soon. Although it was becoming more and more obvious that Skandar was anything but single. His long time relationship with Sarah was beginning to fill the tabloids once more as rumors persisted about a secret wedding being planned for the pair. Photos filled the tabloids of Skandar and Sarah holding hands at premieres or sharing kisses in public. William could only sigh and wish the best for his once best friend and only love. He could hardly believe that it had truly been three years now since he’d left Skandar. Now Skandar was getting married? Where did all the time go?
As a general rule of thumb, William tended to avoid interviews and public appearances. However, the honor of being nominated for a BAFTA was far too great to pass up. He had avoided such events so he would not meet or see any of his old Narnia castmates or Andrew Adamson or anyone else connected to his life before his self imposed exile from the mainstream.
As the evening approached, William found himself truly growing anxious with anticipation. He had not actually entertained the idea of winning, for he was competing against far more popular and well seasoned actors. If there was an underdog, William was it. It seemed to mirror his career in the last three years. Every film he made was independent. He had not made a studio film since Prince Caspian.
Much to his surprise, he won the BAFTA. It was the highlight of his career and a moment he would not soon forget. As he accepted his award, he stood at the podium and stared out into the crowd.
“Umm … I had an entire speech planned, but I have forgotten all of it. I truly did not expect to win this, but I am humbled and honored to have done so.” William said with watery eyes, “This is probably the happiest time in my life since …”
William’s words were cut short when he recognized a face in the audience. A face he’d seen so many times over the last three years but never in the flesh. Skandar Keynes, sitting right next to and holdings hands with Sarah Eljay, apparently soon to be Sarah Keynes.
William thought he would faint right then, but he composed himself and quickly turned his attention away from his former love. Though his heart raced in his chest, he knew he might not have another moment like this, and he did not wish to waste it.
“Since I … well, since I said goodbye to something that meant a great deal to me. I think maybe this is a sign that I might still have a career … or a fulfilling life left in me yet. I hate watching these long speeches so I’m going to cut this one short right now. To everyone who needs to be thanked, thank you. To everyone else, good night.”
With that said, William quickly made his exit from the stage to the press gallery backstage. His face was surprisingly anxious for someone who had just won a BAFTA. He rushed through his press photos, answering as few questions as possible. The last thing he wanted to do was bump into Skandar. Unlike every other BAFTA winner, and much to his agent’s horror, he did not return to the ceremony, but made an extremely early exit. He made his way out the back exit to where he’d called a taxi to pick him up.
“William Moseley! How do you feel about your win?” yelled a photographer, just one of dozens who didn’t make the official press list and instead hounded the outskirts of the ceremony.
William found himself the focus of a blinding wall of flashes, something he hadn’t been a target of since his days at Narnia functions and press conferences. Yet before he could answer, the focus of the photographers quickly shifted away from him. With a roll of his eyes, William smiled and felt grateful for being a ‘lesser celebrity’. He turned to see who had rid him of the photographer’s attention.
“Skandar Keynes! Why has it taken you so long to return to England?”
And there he was, live and in the flesh. Former boyfriend and still current keeper of his heart, Skandar Keynes. All eyes were on Skandar, and William found himself marveling at how much Skandar had changed in the last three years. He carried a surity in himself that was sorely lacking in the past. It made William smile to see Skandar looking so at ease and in control, yet when he thought about it, those traits were always there to begin with. No one seemed to realize that William even existed as Skandar was inundated with questions and requests to pose for the camera.
With a brief smile, William slipped away, though still keeping his eyes fixed on Skandar. His heart raced and his stomach turned with anxiety, yet he was also incredibly happy to see Skandar again, even from a distance. Oh how the tables had turned. There had once been a time when William knew Skandar thought he had all the attention, and now it was Skandar who had it all. Rightly so, thought William, for he could think of no one else he’d rather see in the spotlight.
So, just as he had done for the last three years, he watched Skandar from afar. Watched those deep brown eyes and that coy, demure smile play around humble words and attentive nods. William realized that in three years, he himself had barely changed, but Skandar was quite the opposite. Now in his early twenties, Skandar was even more of a man than William remembered. He had filled out even more, and as William had bore witness to on far too many screenings of Skandar’s shirtless scenes, he was in even greater shape than last they met. His face still held that slightly feminine tilt, and his neck was still far too tempting for its own good, but still, he was different. Still more beautiful than words could do justice, but nonetheless different. There were three years that William did not know about. There were experiences in Skandar’s eyes that he had no idea of. As much as William dreamed of his Skandar at night, he realized looking at him now, this Skandar Keynes was not his.
As he walked away, William realized just how worlds apart they were now. Skandar probably didn’t even think of him. He was probably just filed away under ‘one time crush’, whereas William had never once shaken Skandar from his mind.
“Hay!”
William heard the voice, but it wasn’t until he felt the hand on his shoulder that he realized Skandar was calling to him. With a nervous sigh, William turned around. Skandar smiled at him as big and bright as he could, more than William could have expected. He feared an angry comeuppance or a glare of condemnation, but instead he felt Skandar’s hands squeezing his arms tight as they looked at one another.
“William Moseley.” Skandar smiled, “How long has it been?”
Three years, four months, fifteen days, ten hours, forty five minutes. Give or take an hour for daylight savings New Zealand time.
“I’m not sure.” William lied, something he felt most displeased about, “It’s been a long time. I should be going. There’s a taxi waiting for me.”
“A taxi?” smirked Skandar, “You win a BAFTA and you go home in a taxi?”
“I’m quite happy with my life, thank you very much. I may not be as ri…”
“That’s not what I meant.” Skandar quickly interjected, “I just meant, isn’t there a limo waiting to take you back? Don’t you deserve a night to celebrate?”
“I didn’t realize you were in the country. I wouldn’t have come if …”
“Hence why I did not say I was coming until the very last moment. Really, Will, it’s been three years. No matter what happened between us, I’ve bloody well missed you. I actually came here to see you. When I heard you had a nomination I wanted desperately to call you and tell you how proud I am. You’ve done so well.”
“Ok …” William said with a raised eyebrow, “Whatever.”
“Please. Just because they want my picture more than yours, doesn’t mean I’m better looking than you.” Skandar laughed, “I might have had the blockbusters, but you had the depth. You deserved this win tonight. I just couldn’t stay away. I had to come and see you win. I couldn’t have been prouder.”
William found himself lost for words. He felt his eyes growing watery from three years of pent up grief and anguish over his former teacup. Now simply being in his presence and knowing they would never have what they once did, did much to bring a shudder of weakness to William’s words.
“I should go. You look great, Skandar. Congratulations on all your success. You’re truly a superstar, just like I knew you’d be.” William said with a weak smile, “Goodbye, Skandar.”
“Will, can we talk? I mean, would you mind if we really talked? Can I perhaps buy you a beer?”
“I don’t think you’d be able to get one around here without being noticed.”
“I’d really like it if we did.”
“Umm … do we really need to? I’m not sure I’m up to it. Could we please not?” William begged, “I’d rather not. My taxi is here.”
“Leaving me in a taxi again, are we?” asked Skandar with a sigh, “I’m afraid I must insist, Will. Please. You owe me this much. You owe me some closure. I can’t …”
“Can’t marry Sarah until you have closure?”
“I need closure, Will. I think you do too.”
William found himself biting back tears. In his mind he wished he could rewind the last three years and take back his decision to let Skandar go. Sure Skandar became a huge success because of it, but right now, it seemed to pale against the pain of being so close to him again, but knowing that they would never be together.
With watery eyes and a gasp in his throat, William spoke, “Ok. But not now. Could you meet me tomorrow night? I mean, if … if you’re not busy and you’re still in the country. There’s an old pub near my apartment that you could meet me at. We could have one last beer together, and maybe get that closure you want.”
“What’s the name of the pub?”
“Sub’s Pub. Just ask Laney for me. I’ll meet you at seven?”
“I’ll be there early.” smiled Skandar as he offered his hand out to shake Will’s.
William noted the gesture with a look of surprise. Shaking hands? He’d rather they did nothing at all. Shaking hands was too formal. After all, they’d made love together. They’d lived and loved together. Sure, it was years ago now, but still, shaking hands? Yet William could not refute the sincere offer and extended his hand to Skandar.
Just feeling Skandar’s skin and hand against his own brought back a flood of memories. Warm nights lying out on the deck, watching the water and simply holding hands. Just the thought of it made William ache for yesteryear. When he moved to pull away his hand, he realized Skandar wasn’t letting it go. Instead, Skandar seemed to study his hand curiously. It was then that William realized just why Skandar had suddenly taken an interest in his hand.
“You still wear this?” Skandar asked as he looked at the promise ring on William’s finger, “Oh my goodness. This is that ring I gave you.”
“Promise ring, Skandar.” William said with a tight clench in his throat, “Did you forget?”
“No, I just … I must have. It has been some time, you know. I’m just surprised you still wear it. I saw you wearing it in one of your interviews and thought it was just a one off. I’m just surprised, that’s all. Do you wear it often?”
“Every day.”
“Three years?” Skandar asked in disbelief, “You’ve worn that for three years?”
“I just … it … it’s special. I made a promise and I like to keep my promises. Might seem stupid to you …” William said with tears in his eyes, “But it’s important to me. I don’t want anything from you, Skandar. I don’t want to upset your life or do anything to hurt you or Sarah. I don’t even want to talk to you. All I want is to be left alone, and for you to be happy.”
“Will …” Skandar said with a deep breath, his eyes full of sympathy, “I have so much I have to say. Tomorrow night, you promise?”
“I promise.”
“And you always do keep your promises.” Skandar said with a teary smile, “I don’t suppose we could ever be friends again, could we?”
“Why don’t we just work on the closure bit first, huh?”
“Ok.” Skandar nodded, “But Will?”
“Yes, Skandar?”
“I think I understand why you did it. I have a lot to say to you, and most of it can be summed up in thank you.” Skandar said with an emotional smile, “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
Before William could muster a reply, Skandar was once again inundated by a mob of photographers. William used the opportunity to make a quick exit in his taxi. He returned home to an answering machine filled with congratulatory messages.
He barely had time to settle in before he cracked open a bottle of beer. The cool liquid did much to distract him from his anguish. Four bottles later and he was a mess of tears at the dining table of his humble apartment. He didn’t think that this long after his breakup with Skandar that it could possibly hurt this much, and yet it did. Now more than ever he knew why he stayed away from Skandar, because just being around him was simply too much for him to bear.
That night William drank and cried alone. He wondered how he would ever find reprieve from this lonely life when he could not love another, but Skandar could. He hoped that tonight he could cry out all his tears so that when he and Skandar finally put their ill fated love to rest, he could do so without falling apart completely. Until then though, he would fall apart over and over with memories of a lost love and the stark reminder that in three years, nothing had really changed for him at all. He still loved his teacup and still ached for the life that he gave up. Yet just the small comment from Skandar thanking him for giving him up was enough for Will to feel like he had done right by Skandar after all. Perhaps closure really was something they both needed.
- To Be Concluded -
COS15: Skandar Keynes, Superstar
Skandar reflects on the three years since William left him. The former lovers meet in a pub and find closure to their relationship. William attends Skandar's wedding.
A/N: Shameless Sub cameo in the final chapter coming, as you probably caught. This was supposed to be COW, but I merged it with the final chapter. This is William's POV obviously. Hope you guys didn't mind the break in tradition for the final chapter. The end is near for Chronicles of Skandar. Patience is a virtue. The next part should be up fairly soon. This is the last chapter.