there is a whole in my heart where your love used to fill...
ok...so everytime this guy signs online...my heart starte beating real fast, and i start getting this hope feeling that he might talk to me...that he might decide he still wants me, this hope that we still have a chance...but then he signs off, and i realize, there was no hope in the beginning, that he doesn't want me anymore, that he have no chance...that there was no hope to begin with...and that kills me faster than anything else, the fact that he can just forget everything that we had, every kiss, every touch, every hug...laugh...conversation...but noooo...i wish i knew how he did it...how he just got over me...because i hate myself for still caring about him! i fucking hate myself!! i want him to go away...i mean it's like he took me to the top of the highest mountain...and told me, you can have all of this, it's all yours, he showed me what it was to have something, to have everything, then she showed me what it was to lose it all...to have nothing...it it sucks b/c im crying AGAIN! like an idiot, i hate it i hate i hate it so much.
he's keft me broken, just completely in pieces, he's left me alone to pick everything up and doesn't give on shyt about it either...just sits there and tells me to relax...and not to worry when he knows how i feel about him...i hate him so much for what's he's done to me!omg...there just aren't words to explain how i'm feeling about this shyt...no words...only emotions...and me screaming...and me thinking aboiut giving up, and me falling abpart b/c i have no one to support me...im naked to the world vulnerable to anything that comes my way...i've just broken, i didn't think this would ever happen to me...but it has... and im alone...and and crying and just giving up slowly...he knows and he doesn't care...nothing to help me other than relax...don't worry, no, "im sorry" or "i wish there qwas something i could do fo ryou" or "im sorry things happened this way, but you can always count on me" THERE IS NOTHING IN MY HEART ANYMORE!!! ther is nothing there...and all i do is sit and cry about it...because i can't do anything else...burning his shyt didn't help...music didn't help...friends...onl;y haidar had been there for me b/c of this...seriously...he's the only one to help me through this shyt...and...but i need more, i need something else to help me, but i don't know what it is...and im just feel like im dieing...im going to end up dieing of a broken hert like they say in the stories...and it's going to happen, and he still won't care! damn...im gone...w.e i just i , i quit.
he's keft me broken, just completely in pieces, he's left me alone to pick everything up and doesn't give on shyt about it either...just sits there and tells me to relax...and not to worry when he knows how i feel about him...i hate him so much for what's he's done to me!omg...there just aren't words to explain how i'm feeling about this shyt...no words...only emotions...and me screaming...and me thinking aboiut giving up, and me falling abpart b/c i have no one to support me...im naked to the world vulnerable to anything that comes my way...i've just broken, i didn't think this would ever happen to me...but it has... and im alone...and and crying and just giving up slowly...he knows and he doesn't care...nothing to help me other than relax...don't worry, no, "im sorry" or "i wish there qwas something i could do fo ryou" or "im sorry things happened this way, but you can always count on me" THERE IS NOTHING IN MY HEART ANYMORE!!! ther is nothing there...and all i do is sit and cry about it...because i can't do anything else...burning his shyt didn't help...music didn't help...friends...onl;y haidar had been there for me b/c of this...seriously...he's the only one to help me through this shyt...and...but i need more, i need something else to help me, but i don't know what it is...and im just feel like im dieing...im going to end up dieing of a broken hert like they say in the stories...and it's going to happen, and he still won't care! damn...im gone...w.e i just i , i quit.