dream diary
i am sitting in my room watching a sheet of smoke drift out the window. sometimes small tendrils will waft by and it curls around itself doing somersaults on the way out. i am thinking about how happy i am and why my brain chemistry doesn't transmit that message. i am planning on leaving my roommates my virginia family on May 29 and how I will leave them a CD of my Top 25 Most Played songs on iTunes, a bottle of Eye of the Toad, a flower, and a card with the tracklist and good wishes. Last night I wanted to leave them earlier but today I feel like sticking to my agreed upon guns. I am listening to said playlist and thinking about how it reflects on my tastes and histories. i am reading girls guide to hunting & finishing and liking it more than i expected. i am so so lonely and i simultaneously loathe and love it. sometimes i will remember my regrets and they usually center around anger or hope or both and i feel sick and embarrassed, then i try to forgive myself but i forget to quickly and remember later. it doesn't matter though. i am also timing my incense stick, which i often want to do but never remember when i should. i had a dream last night which is rare but now i forgot it which is not.