condemned
Its been a while. Im writing in here because im sure everyone is tired of hearing me whine, and i know no one reads this anymore.
I feel so damned useless now. So weak and pathetic. This medication has stripped me of my creativity, of my life. I feel so constrained, condemned.I feel like its made me an outcast, like im not a member of society anymore. I tell people i have bipolar and they look at me like a fucking freak, like ive got a fucking third arm coming out of my head. I dont even feel like myself anymore, it changes me somehow. I feel incomplete, like i was to weak to have a stable mind and body and now im reduced to this.
I dont know what i want from this. Expression, maybe. I can barely take pictures anymore, that was the last thing i had and it took it from me. Im screaming into the darkness, no one to hear me. Only a few truly understand what im going through, and one of them stopped their meds....do i want to follow them?
I just want things to be like they were.
I feel so damned useless now. So weak and pathetic. This medication has stripped me of my creativity, of my life. I feel so constrained, condemned.I feel like its made me an outcast, like im not a member of society anymore. I tell people i have bipolar and they look at me like a fucking freak, like ive got a fucking third arm coming out of my head. I dont even feel like myself anymore, it changes me somehow. I feel incomplete, like i was to weak to have a stable mind and body and now im reduced to this.
I dont know what i want from this. Expression, maybe. I can barely take pictures anymore, that was the last thing i had and it took it from me. Im screaming into the darkness, no one to hear me. Only a few truly understand what im going through, and one of them stopped their meds....do i want to follow them?
I just want things to be like they were.