(no subject)

[sublimex43]

I COULD JUST SCREAM
UNTIL MY LUNGS COLLAPSE
AND I SUFFOCATE

I AM SO ENTIRELY FED UP
WITH EVERYTHING
WITH EVERYONE

I AM SO TIRED OF EVERYONE'S SELF PITY
GROW UP, IT'S FUCKING LIFE
I FEEL LIKE I GIVE MY FUCKING SOUL AWAY
TO EVERYONE
I TRY SO HARD TO HELP EVERYONE AND ANYONE OUT
I WILL GIVE ANYONE THE TIME OF DAY
TELL THEM THE CORNIEST JOKES
IF IT WILL EVEN MAKE THEM CRACK A SMILE
AND I GET NOTHING IN RETURN
NOT EVEN TWO REASSURING WORDS
LIKE IT'S ALRIGHT
OR IT'S OK
I AM SICK OF IT

I AM ENTIRELY CONTRADICTING

PLUS I DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER
TO MAKE THIS BOY FEEL LIKE MY WORLD
I GIVE EVERY MINUTE I CAN SPARE TO HIM
JUST SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER
AND MAKE EVERYTHING WORK OUT THIS TIME
I GIVE MY EVERY MINUTE RIGHT AFTER I GET OUT OF WORK AT 830
TO GO TO HIS HOUSE
FOR AS LONG AS I CAN BEFORE I HAVE TO BE HOME AT 10
I MAKE SURE TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM
AT INTERVALS OF ABOUT 5 MINUTES
JUST BECAUSEI FEEL SO STRONGLY
AND I WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT
BUT HE DOESNT
I GAVE MYSELF AWAY
JUST TO BE TOLD I AM WORTHLESS

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE

I FEEL LIKE SUCH A DISASTER