interesting...
so i just went outside for my nightly chain-smoking/star gazing session...
i'm barefoot, in my usual pjs (a sweatshirt and soccer shorts)...
and thought... wow... little tiny things like being able to go outside barefoot at nite and be comfortable make me giddy like a fuckin little girl. but it was only a matter of time till i was completely alone with my thoughts...
and it hit me how incredibly lonely i am lately. all i do is work out and sit at the scumputer. i barely ever go out anymore. and i just got my license, so it blows that i have nowhere to go. i mean, i go out sometimes, but i hafta call people to hang out. no one ever calls meee.
i sound so pathetic.
but i guess my parents are thinkin about moving to Colorado... my mum might apply for a job out there. and im not sure how i feel about it. i mean, i dont wanna leave the few friends i have left. but i'll be getting away from a lot of bad people and memories too. and i'd be that much closer to California... and i'd love to ski in Aspen. but we'd be going to Denver, and im not sure if it's a city city like Boston or more of a country kinda state capitol. i would assume the latter, but ya never know.
i think i'm otay with it though. but i shouldn't get my hopes too high. cuz then it won't happen. but i think i do wanna move. leaving all this bullshit i call a life behind would be very good for me i think. i really really REALLY wanna start my life all over. i have made way too many fucking mistakes to live with myself anymore. i dunno. i guess we'll see.
but i wouldn't wanna leave my neighbors! or my bestest friend in the whole world. i mean, i'd obviously stay in touch. but there are a few people that i really need to keep a close eye on, for various reasons.
i dunno. i'm wicked confuzzled. people in Colorado would make fun of me for saying "wicked" all the goddamn time.
if anyone who reads this is from Denver, Colorado, let me know if you like it or not... it would be better if you have ever visited/lived in Massachusetts. preferably a hickasstown with a name like Townsend... it would be very helpful...
so i'll leave you with this...
"if you live with regrets, you WILL end up killing yourself" ~me
i'm barefoot, in my usual pjs (a sweatshirt and soccer shorts)...
and thought... wow... little tiny things like being able to go outside barefoot at nite and be comfortable make me giddy like a fuckin little girl. but it was only a matter of time till i was completely alone with my thoughts...
and it hit me how incredibly lonely i am lately. all i do is work out and sit at the scumputer. i barely ever go out anymore. and i just got my license, so it blows that i have nowhere to go. i mean, i go out sometimes, but i hafta call people to hang out. no one ever calls meee.
i sound so pathetic.
but i guess my parents are thinkin about moving to Colorado... my mum might apply for a job out there. and im not sure how i feel about it. i mean, i dont wanna leave the few friends i have left. but i'll be getting away from a lot of bad people and memories too. and i'd be that much closer to California... and i'd love to ski in Aspen. but we'd be going to Denver, and im not sure if it's a city city like Boston or more of a country kinda state capitol. i would assume the latter, but ya never know.
i think i'm otay with it though. but i shouldn't get my hopes too high. cuz then it won't happen. but i think i do wanna move. leaving all this bullshit i call a life behind would be very good for me i think. i really really REALLY wanna start my life all over. i have made way too many fucking mistakes to live with myself anymore. i dunno. i guess we'll see.
but i wouldn't wanna leave my neighbors! or my bestest friend in the whole world. i mean, i'd obviously stay in touch. but there are a few people that i really need to keep a close eye on, for various reasons.
i dunno. i'm wicked confuzzled. people in Colorado would make fun of me for saying "wicked" all the goddamn time.
if anyone who reads this is from Denver, Colorado, let me know if you like it or not... it would be better if you have ever visited/lived in Massachusetts. preferably a hickasstown with a name like Townsend... it would be very helpful...
so i'll leave you with this...
"if you live with regrets, you WILL end up killing yourself" ~me