I'm falling to pieces

[sublimeade]

Karilee. She was 35, blonde, cute, and charming. Has a 7 yr old girl at home. I talked to her for hours tonight. It was sooooooooooo nice. I knew it wasn't ever going to go anywhere. She's out of my league .. like I have one, and even if she's only a few years older I wouldn't date someone with a kid. Can't get involved; I know it must be hard for kids to see their single mommies or daddies having random "friends" over, and then disappearing from their lives. That's why I couldn't date a girl with a child. That's what I told myself years ago, in 2003, when I became good friends with that one girl from school. But last night, we really talked. Well, she did .. I love girls who can talk because I can't, for the life of me. About her baby's dad, about Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, growing up in the 90s, House, Grey's Anatomy, all the shit on tv, movies, whatever. She even called back after she left, and I wanted to ask for her number but thought it'd be inappropriate. Work and all, it's just good customer relations. Really good customer relations. Maybe that's all it was, and was meant to be. A nice helpful guy like me, assisting this woman as best I could, doing my job. Maybe that's all she thought of it. Like I've said, all girls are out of my league. She's probably already had her back surgery by now, early this morning ... and now she'll be resting up, and I wonder if I'll see her again some night.

I'm allowed (by fate, or fortune) one night per year where a girl will actually TALK to me, get past all my grotesque hideousness and talk to me. I definitely don't want to forget.