(no subject)
i feel like ive waited forever to find
this life that i have. i thought this
was all i ever wanted. i thought it
was perfect looking into it. living it
is completely different. i manage to
wake up everyday and go about my life
with my head as high as i can perch it.
im happy and im content and i wouldn't
change my world for a million dollars.
but sometimes i wish i would have
thought things through a little better.
i wish i would have seen all the options
all the obstacles and all of the assholes
i was going to meet along the way. i wish
i could take myself and my family to
the place i was before, before
everything started to become overwhelming.
before i started forgetting to do
simple tasks, such as peeing. i wish
i could rewind us, but keep us all
together.
i think sometimes i complain too much
about everything. maybe my life is
perfect? maybe i do have everything i
want and i still want more? probably,
but i deserve more. when you've
been through hell and back someone
owes you something, i just think that
someone is me. i owe myself something.
maybe a vacation, maybe a beer whatever
it is i want it.
if i chose to not wake up tomorrow id
feel bad for not doing so. id die with
a lump of guilt on my back. like i live
so whats the difference really?