Falling out of place
weird weekend
So things are going pretty good, I dont know why I feel like shit. I feel like things always go from being really great to really really shitty. I ended my summer with some kick ass shit, went into school feeling pretty kick ass. As of now its like I am desperatly trying to throw myself into anything, and just feel better. The one thing I have been able to throw myself into is soccer, and its over tomorow. I feel sort of like..blank. I am not happy, I am not sad. i have nothing to look forward to, I have nothing to dread. I waited to long to take the test for running start and I dont think the gates grant essays will be finished in time. I just want something, anything to be excited about.
I hate getting on here just to bitch but whenever I start it just seems to come out. I feel like even megan and I are growing apart leaving me completly alone. With the whole sleep deprevation thing, I am watching a lot of news and infomercials. I keep telling myself to visit my grandma or go to church, but all i want to do is come home and get stoned. I really like some of the preppy girls on my team, and kaitlyn is so rad. But in a way I feel like I am disconected from them, and bound to my current friends. All these girls are talking about how they are trying ciggarettes, and chew and finally having sex with their boyfriends its a fucking tripp. My attempts to explain to them why I dont believe in god, Or why I think hickism promotes imbreeding and a lower intellect, oh it just made me laugh at their sad faces.
The other night I had a dream that Ms madsen got very very sick and they announced that their would be this sub for like a month maybe more until she was better. Then in walked Libby, our teacher, at first I was so happy like hey dude this is awesome, but she came in yelling and screaming about how things were going to be different and she kept acting like she didnt even know me and told me to clean some brushes, then I cried.
So things are going pretty good, I dont know why I feel like shit. I feel like things always go from being really great to really really shitty. I ended my summer with some kick ass shit, went into school feeling pretty kick ass. As of now its like I am desperatly trying to throw myself into anything, and just feel better. The one thing I have been able to throw myself into is soccer, and its over tomorow. I feel sort of like..blank. I am not happy, I am not sad. i have nothing to look forward to, I have nothing to dread. I waited to long to take the test for running start and I dont think the gates grant essays will be finished in time. I just want something, anything to be excited about.
I hate getting on here just to bitch but whenever I start it just seems to come out. I feel like even megan and I are growing apart leaving me completly alone. With the whole sleep deprevation thing, I am watching a lot of news and infomercials. I keep telling myself to visit my grandma or go to church, but all i want to do is come home and get stoned. I really like some of the preppy girls on my team, and kaitlyn is so rad. But in a way I feel like I am disconected from them, and bound to my current friends. All these girls are talking about how they are trying ciggarettes, and chew and finally having sex with their boyfriends its a fucking tripp. My attempts to explain to them why I dont believe in god, Or why I think hickism promotes imbreeding and a lower intellect, oh it just made me laugh at their sad faces.
The other night I had a dream that Ms madsen got very very sick and they announced that their would be this sub for like a month maybe more until she was better. Then in walked Libby, our teacher, at first I was so happy like hey dude this is awesome, but she came in yelling and screaming about how things were going to be different and she kept acting like she didnt even know me and told me to clean some brushes, then I cried.