Big Day Tomorrow
Ahhh, I'm super nervous for tomorrow, in the evening I'm going to see an apartment.
Hopefully I will look like a nice, normal person to the person who wants to rent it, but...I always worry because of my Tourette's. It's like, you can't really bring it up out of nowhere because it feels like oversharing to people and leaves them with a weird impression of you. But if people see tics without knowing what they are (and most people DON'T know what tics are), they can end up thinking something weird about you. That you're on drugs, that you're dangerous, it can get mistaken for various things. And sometimes people don't consciously realize you're ticcing, but still get a weird vibe from you because subconciously they notice it. Essentially, tics screw with normal nonverbal communication because they're basically nonsensicle nonverbal signals, so it can give people the impression that you're just odd and/or made them uncomfortable for reasons they can't articulate. And people will rarely ask what they are on their own (assuming they even consciously notice them). Siiiiigh, it's just a difficult thing. Tourette's is tricky because it's a chronic condition that you just can't really hide in any way--like or not, you will tic, especially when you're more conscious of it because you really don't want to.
Plus I'm kind of socially awkward anyway, so I don't always know what to say or do to like, click with people and fit in. I feel like I am actually a lot more likeable once you get to know me than I seem on the surface, because I just seem awkward at first. Plus I'm chubby and even science has found that people tend to assume attractive people have better personal qualities than non-attractive people (and chubbiness is not generally considered attractive). So, I feel like it's sometimes hard for me to make a good impression in social settings...well, I suppose that does explain why I went into a career as a researcher and spend my time analyzing data lol...
Hopefully it'll go well though...I would REALLY like to land this place and square it all away quickly. It's more money than where I live now, and juuust at the edge of what I can afford, but it's a much nicer place, only one roommate, more convenient location. I think it'd be worth it...if I can just convince the other person I'd be a good roommate! Legit though, I really AM a good roommate; I clean up after myself and I'm quiet and mostly do my own thing, but am also friendly when other roommates are around and in the mood to say hi or chat. I feel this is about what you want out of a roommate: doesn't cause problems, keeps the place clean, friendly but doesn't bother you. That's all I want in a roommate, anyway.
So, yeah...I'm still trying to decide what to wear, too...not sure which of my clothes say 'I am totes a good roommate' the best. Normally I don't really think about clothes at all so stuff like this is hard, I never know how like, fashion or whatever works. Plus it's going to rain tomorrow so I'll look like a bit of a drowned rat anyway, alas.
Well, fingers crossed...nothing to do but hope for the best. The apartment ad listed the desired move-in date as May 1st, and since that's like a week away I'm hoping the person is eager to find a renter and thus doesn't want to like, meet a ton of people and spend ages deciding on someone. My own lease doesn't end until May 31 but I'm okay paying two rents for a month, the place is easily worth it. Plus it will actually be handy, since it'll give me more time to move stuff. Ahhh, here's hoping it all works out!
Hopefully I will look like a nice, normal person to the person who wants to rent it, but...I always worry because of my Tourette's. It's like, you can't really bring it up out of nowhere because it feels like oversharing to people and leaves them with a weird impression of you. But if people see tics without knowing what they are (and most people DON'T know what tics are), they can end up thinking something weird about you. That you're on drugs, that you're dangerous, it can get mistaken for various things. And sometimes people don't consciously realize you're ticcing, but still get a weird vibe from you because subconciously they notice it. Essentially, tics screw with normal nonverbal communication because they're basically nonsensicle nonverbal signals, so it can give people the impression that you're just odd and/or made them uncomfortable for reasons they can't articulate. And people will rarely ask what they are on their own (assuming they even consciously notice them). Siiiiigh, it's just a difficult thing. Tourette's is tricky because it's a chronic condition that you just can't really hide in any way--like or not, you will tic, especially when you're more conscious of it because you really don't want to.
Plus I'm kind of socially awkward anyway, so I don't always know what to say or do to like, click with people and fit in. I feel like I am actually a lot more likeable once you get to know me than I seem on the surface, because I just seem awkward at first. Plus I'm chubby and even science has found that people tend to assume attractive people have better personal qualities than non-attractive people (and chubbiness is not generally considered attractive). So, I feel like it's sometimes hard for me to make a good impression in social settings...well, I suppose that does explain why I went into a career as a researcher and spend my time analyzing data lol...
Hopefully it'll go well though...I would REALLY like to land this place and square it all away quickly. It's more money than where I live now, and juuust at the edge of what I can afford, but it's a much nicer place, only one roommate, more convenient location. I think it'd be worth it...if I can just convince the other person I'd be a good roommate! Legit though, I really AM a good roommate; I clean up after myself and I'm quiet and mostly do my own thing, but am also friendly when other roommates are around and in the mood to say hi or chat. I feel this is about what you want out of a roommate: doesn't cause problems, keeps the place clean, friendly but doesn't bother you. That's all I want in a roommate, anyway.
So, yeah...I'm still trying to decide what to wear, too...not sure which of my clothes say 'I am totes a good roommate' the best. Normally I don't really think about clothes at all so stuff like this is hard, I never know how like, fashion or whatever works. Plus it's going to rain tomorrow so I'll look like a bit of a drowned rat anyway, alas.
Well, fingers crossed...nothing to do but hope for the best. The apartment ad listed the desired move-in date as May 1st, and since that's like a week away I'm hoping the person is eager to find a renter and thus doesn't want to like, meet a ton of people and spend ages deciding on someone. My own lease doesn't end until May 31 but I'm okay paying two rents for a month, the place is easily worth it. Plus it will actually be handy, since it'll give me more time to move stuff. Ahhh, here's hoping it all works out!