November ends! But the real HAUNT begins!
I am really sorry that I couldn't post an entry for almost two weeks. I was always in thought of it- right from the time my braces started tearing my lips off! Forget it, I am used to it now.
Meanwhile a lot of bad things messed up school life. I couldn't think of one thing that was nice in the past two weeks. Yeah, a couple of my friends called, but that didn't even get close to compensate the bad. Albeit, they were moaning about their life too, and we concluded that the whole world is sad. ( Geez, what a beast have I become? I have went from thinking the whole world as angels in heaven to "believing" that everyone as selfish bastards)
I don't wanna mention any of those rusty things happened at school. Just no more thoughts of them.
But there's one thing haunting me lately. I swear it will haunt me for the rest of my life too. So, till last week my plan was pass school, learn a degree that will earn me a job and meanwhil be a master of all arts, learn some manners ;), pursue my passion, travel,get friends and write. Plus, I'd read my daily lessons and maintain my college grades. It is too much, but I believed it would be easily executed.
Life isn't a bed of roses they say. Even before I think of executing it, reality slaps me harder, AGAIN.
I was already frightened of getting into a decent college with my tiny subject knowledge( compared to rest of the nation) and with the economic status(~0) of my family. It is close to impossible for them to afford INR 3,00,000 every year( ~ U$D 5000) . Thus I had always trusted on education loans and was ready to repay them all by myself after getting a job.( Coz, I was floating in the clouds of fame and money back then).
After 2 years, ,two days ago, I decided to check out about loan limits, securities, interests, documents, and stuff. My heart started fealing weak already.
And I took a calculator, summed up my monthly salary (expected), and subtracted loan paybacks, housing rents, necessary expenditure, and family return( it is a thing in India). I finally have 3000 INR for myself. ( I couldn't even travel beyond my state with that. Let alone getting my dream bike)
Guess what?
I AM F*CKED UP REAL TIME
And from then, I have the smile stuck to my face that reads- Wow, well, Thats some great danger awaiting. And time to stop dreaming and start to live the adult life. The life you hitherto thought was stupid and meaningless.
And November ends with that. The exam registrations for college starts tomorrow. And the next 3 months of school are packed with mock tests for the bigger devil waiting.
Nothing seems right for now. So, I guess today will ( must) end with some tumblr accompanied with 9gag.
Love,
The Effed up girl who begins adulthood
Meanwhile a lot of bad things messed up school life. I couldn't think of one thing that was nice in the past two weeks. Yeah, a couple of my friends called, but that didn't even get close to compensate the bad. Albeit, they were moaning about their life too, and we concluded that the whole world is sad. ( Geez, what a beast have I become? I have went from thinking the whole world as angels in heaven to "believing" that everyone as selfish bastards)
I don't wanna mention any of those rusty things happened at school. Just no more thoughts of them.
But there's one thing haunting me lately. I swear it will haunt me for the rest of my life too. So, till last week my plan was pass school, learn a degree that will earn me a job and meanwhil be a master of all arts, learn some manners ;), pursue my passion, travel,get friends and write. Plus, I'd read my daily lessons and maintain my college grades. It is too much, but I believed it would be easily executed.
Life isn't a bed of roses they say. Even before I think of executing it, reality slaps me harder, AGAIN.
I was already frightened of getting into a decent college with my tiny subject knowledge( compared to rest of the nation) and with the economic status(~0) of my family. It is close to impossible for them to afford INR 3,00,000 every year( ~ U$D 5000) . Thus I had always trusted on education loans and was ready to repay them all by myself after getting a job.( Coz, I was floating in the clouds of fame and money back then).
After 2 years, ,two days ago, I decided to check out about loan limits, securities, interests, documents, and stuff. My heart started fealing weak already.
And I took a calculator, summed up my monthly salary (expected), and subtracted loan paybacks, housing rents, necessary expenditure, and family return( it is a thing in India). I finally have 3000 INR for myself. ( I couldn't even travel beyond my state with that. Let alone getting my dream bike)
Guess what?
I AM F*CKED UP REAL TIME
And from then, I have the smile stuck to my face that reads- Wow, well, Thats some great danger awaiting. And time to stop dreaming and start to live the adult life. The life you hitherto thought was stupid and meaningless.
And November ends with that. The exam registrations for college starts tomorrow. And the next 3 months of school are packed with mock tests for the bigger devil waiting.
Nothing seems right for now. So, I guess today will ( must) end with some tumblr accompanied with 9gag.
Love,
The Effed up girl who begins adulthood