(no subject)
I went for lunch downstairs in my building today. I thought I ordered a moderately priced sushi roll combo, but I ended up getting a rather more pricey sashimi combo. I didn't really care. Sashimi is fun to eat because I have no idea what any of it is, and it's fun to guess. I bit into a big chunk of something that tasted just like seawater does when you accidentally swallow some when you're playing around in waves and get thrown over. You know, with some sand, seaweed, urine and a carpet sample mixed in. All things considered though,it wasn't that bad. When I was a ninja, we got free lunch coupons. Of course I had to be able to throw my nunchucks between a guy's eyes from across an intersection daily, so things even out.
When I was waiting for the bus this morning they had a jackhammer backhoe thing at the intersection and they were digging into the road for who knows why. I was standing a good 40-50 feet away, but everytime they did it I could feel the ground shaking. I had to stop them. I knew if they kept going for a few minutes more, they'd internally knock the earth off axis and we'd go rolling across the floor of the universe just like a ping pong ball after one of those ping pong player really winds up and slugs one. I don't regret loosing my arm and my hair piece in the melee.
Oh I bought an RRSP yesterday because I'm little Warren Buffet now. Probably no one knows who Warren Buffet is. I got the highest mark in OAC high school accounting and somehow I won a book by Warren Buffet. I never read it and gave it to my friend's dad when we moved. Anyway yeah so welcome to the smarmy world of financial responsibility. Responsibility doesn't start with R, it starts with you. Wow, I totally just made that up just now. Anyway, I went to the bank at lunch and said 'hi, I want an rrsp, but I don't want to sit here and answer questions and stuff. I just want to give you money, and you put it in whatever RRSP you want. I'll figure out what I really want to do with it later." The lady looked confused and left for like 5 minutes while I watched short track speedskating on tv. Hey, they have tv's in banks now. Eventually she came back and said I should go upstairs and go talk to some other lady. So I go up there, and a few seconds later this little lady with an honest to goodness hunchback comes out. I gave her a bunch of stuff because apparently the bank need to invade your personal privacy a lot to let you give them money. Then she gave me an RRSP. Now when I look at my business on the website, it says I have investments.
I knocked up your mom like a door to door canvasser last night.
I gave a homeless guy 38 cents. There was a girl on the bus with fantastically black hair, and she was like 7 feet tall.
I went downtown last night to see Megan because she's briefly local. I walked down several blocks to a bus stop where two bus routes go, increasing my bus opportunities by 100%. One finally comes, and the bus pilot announces that we're going to wait 7 minutes becuase he's way ahead. 7 minutes! Come on. If you're that early, just keep driving fast and take over the schedule in front of you. To pass these 7 minutes I thought about text messaging Mike Cook, but realized it was late where he is and he'd probably throw a hissy fit. When he gets mad he turns red and flails around and his afro gets all jiggly.
I saw a website today that had ($50) shirts that had actual braille across the boobular area, if you're a girl or a generously endowed male. Supposedly if you're into being groped, you can let curious people have their way with you. If you meet someone you'd rather not be manhandled by, you can flip something up so they can read what the braille says. Oh and they also make panties if you want to throw caution to the wind.
I made our cat a sign to hang above her litter box that says "Senior Vice President of Waking up at 3pm" She's going to hold shareholder meetings under my bed. If she can get the Price/Earnings ratio above 25% this year, she gets a new mouse toy to lose under the couch.
From Saturday, atop (haha atop!) Mt Gardner on Bowen Island, looking uh, northwest. The white thing is a ferry:
When I was waiting for the bus this morning they had a jackhammer backhoe thing at the intersection and they were digging into the road for who knows why. I was standing a good 40-50 feet away, but everytime they did it I could feel the ground shaking. I had to stop them. I knew if they kept going for a few minutes more, they'd internally knock the earth off axis and we'd go rolling across the floor of the universe just like a ping pong ball after one of those ping pong player really winds up and slugs one. I don't regret loosing my arm and my hair piece in the melee.
Oh I bought an RRSP yesterday because I'm little Warren Buffet now. Probably no one knows who Warren Buffet is. I got the highest mark in OAC high school accounting and somehow I won a book by Warren Buffet. I never read it and gave it to my friend's dad when we moved. Anyway yeah so welcome to the smarmy world of financial responsibility. Responsibility doesn't start with R, it starts with you. Wow, I totally just made that up just now. Anyway, I went to the bank at lunch and said 'hi, I want an rrsp, but I don't want to sit here and answer questions and stuff. I just want to give you money, and you put it in whatever RRSP you want. I'll figure out what I really want to do with it later." The lady looked confused and left for like 5 minutes while I watched short track speedskating on tv. Hey, they have tv's in banks now. Eventually she came back and said I should go upstairs and go talk to some other lady. So I go up there, and a few seconds later this little lady with an honest to goodness hunchback comes out. I gave her a bunch of stuff because apparently the bank need to invade your personal privacy a lot to let you give them money. Then she gave me an RRSP. Now when I look at my business on the website, it says I have investments.
I knocked up your mom like a door to door canvasser last night.
I gave a homeless guy 38 cents. There was a girl on the bus with fantastically black hair, and she was like 7 feet tall.
I went downtown last night to see Megan because she's briefly local. I walked down several blocks to a bus stop where two bus routes go, increasing my bus opportunities by 100%. One finally comes, and the bus pilot announces that we're going to wait 7 minutes becuase he's way ahead. 7 minutes! Come on. If you're that early, just keep driving fast and take over the schedule in front of you. To pass these 7 minutes I thought about text messaging Mike Cook, but realized it was late where he is and he'd probably throw a hissy fit. When he gets mad he turns red and flails around and his afro gets all jiggly.
I saw a website today that had ($50) shirts that had actual braille across the boobular area, if you're a girl or a generously endowed male. Supposedly if you're into being groped, you can let curious people have their way with you. If you meet someone you'd rather not be manhandled by, you can flip something up so they can read what the braille says. Oh and they also make panties if you want to throw caution to the wind.
I made our cat a sign to hang above her litter box that says "Senior Vice President of Waking up at 3pm" She's going to hold shareholder meetings under my bed. If she can get the Price/Earnings ratio above 25% this year, she gets a new mouse toy to lose under the couch.
From Saturday, atop (haha atop!) Mt Gardner on Bowen Island, looking uh, northwest. The white thing is a ferry: