Have a gay old time
Stolen from an email currently being circulated. No attribution so cannot credit. Sorry about that chief.
I believe Santa Claus has to be Gay!
If you're not sure, look at some of these examples:
Christmas is a big, well organized, fully catered,
decorated, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social beverage
deal, and I have a tough time believing a
straight man could possibly pull it all off!
"Fairy lights". What about those over-the-top
decorations? A straight man
cannot even organize a matching shirt and tie!
Straight men have day jobs, so they wouldn't have
time to stand at the local shopping malls and ring a
bell all day. But if you're a Gay, out-of-work Actor/ Dancer/Waiter,
it's
the perfect gig until you get your big break.
Also, if Santa was straight, he would have picked
an animal much more masculine than the reindeer
to get him around, like horses or oxen, but the
reindeer just happen to appeal to Santa's inherent
sense of grace and beauty.
Speaking of masculine, my dear, what about those
names for the reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
Vixen? You fill in the blanks.
Mrs. Claus has been married to him for eons yet he's
never ever fathered a child with her. She's over-weight
and still content. Why I hear you ask? Can you say "Fag-hag"?
Ever thought about the Rudolph story? He's Gay too!
Come on, you have thought about it too. "All of the other
reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never
let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." As if he
wanted to. Besides, isn't Rudolph really only a metaphor
for the Gay child living in a straight society anyway?
Ever ask yourself why fruitcake is the traditional dessert
at Christmas time? Well, now you know. And stop
pretending you don't like it. Deep down inside, you've
always liked fruitcake.
Look at the size of the bag he packs for a one-night trip!
And his outfit?? Red velvet with a white, fur collar?
Black, knee high boots and a thick black paten leather
belt. Just the attire all straight men rush to buy!
Darling, just think about it!!! Physically, he's a dream
come true for the Chubby Chaser Club and the perfect
"Bear" poster child.
Also, with his love of giving gifts, Santa's the perfect
Sugar Daddy for all those old sad aging queens who
don't like to work!
Which straight man has ever thought of using
"stockings" to hide their candy?
I believe Santa Claus has to be Gay!
If you're not sure, look at some of these examples:
Christmas is a big, well organized, fully catered,
decorated, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social beverage
deal, and I have a tough time believing a
straight man could possibly pull it all off!
"Fairy lights". What about those over-the-top
decorations? A straight man
cannot even organize a matching shirt and tie!
Straight men have day jobs, so they wouldn't have
time to stand at the local shopping malls and ring a
bell all day. But if you're a Gay, out-of-work Actor/ Dancer/Waiter,
it's
the perfect gig until you get your big break.
Also, if Santa was straight, he would have picked
an animal much more masculine than the reindeer
to get him around, like horses or oxen, but the
reindeer just happen to appeal to Santa's inherent
sense of grace and beauty.
Speaking of masculine, my dear, what about those
names for the reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
Vixen? You fill in the blanks.
Mrs. Claus has been married to him for eons yet he's
never ever fathered a child with her. She's over-weight
and still content. Why I hear you ask? Can you say "Fag-hag"?
Ever thought about the Rudolph story? He's Gay too!
Come on, you have thought about it too. "All of the other
reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never
let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." As if he
wanted to. Besides, isn't Rudolph really only a metaphor
for the Gay child living in a straight society anyway?
Ever ask yourself why fruitcake is the traditional dessert
at Christmas time? Well, now you know. And stop
pretending you don't like it. Deep down inside, you've
always liked fruitcake.
Look at the size of the bag he packs for a one-night trip!
And his outfit?? Red velvet with a white, fur collar?
Black, knee high boots and a thick black paten leather
belt. Just the attire all straight men rush to buy!
Darling, just think about it!!! Physically, he's a dream
come true for the Chubby Chaser Club and the perfect
"Bear" poster child.
Also, with his love of giving gifts, Santa's the perfect
Sugar Daddy for all those old sad aging queens who
don't like to work!
Which straight man has ever thought of using
"stockings" to hide their candy?