how the west was won... derful
and there i was...
sitting at a table with my friends Johnny Marbles, and Pistol Pete...
when she walked in...
she was a mighty fine heffer indeed... armed with two voluptious watermelons and a ripe ole salmon... all of which she threw at the bartender. now no one throws watermelons at bartender's in my town, so it went without saying what i had to do...
i shot the bartender... replaced him with Pistol Pete... cleaned up the watermelon... paid the lady to become a waitress... and we all pretended the incident had never happened.
follow me so far?
good.
now the reason im telling you all this is because i know that you know that i know how to rob a train... and thats exactly what Johnny Marbles, Pistol Pete, and Melons Galore did that afternoon. with my supervision of course. we held up the biggest train in town... until the crane buckled under the pressure and the damned thing got away.
thats when we all made a life-changing decision...
to write a musical called Cats and take it to Broadway...
but someone had beat us to the punch... so we punched him back... and here we are... living it up in Margarittaville... each of us cleverly disguised as Jimmy Buffet... it wasnt easy to convince him he was a quintuplet... but he finally accepted it... and we live happily like leeches on the face of a young child shoved forcefully into a port-o-john...
y'all come back now for more stories. ya hear?
sitting at a table with my friends Johnny Marbles, and Pistol Pete...
when she walked in...
she was a mighty fine heffer indeed... armed with two voluptious watermelons and a ripe ole salmon... all of which she threw at the bartender. now no one throws watermelons at bartender's in my town, so it went without saying what i had to do...
i shot the bartender... replaced him with Pistol Pete... cleaned up the watermelon... paid the lady to become a waitress... and we all pretended the incident had never happened.
follow me so far?
good.
now the reason im telling you all this is because i know that you know that i know how to rob a train... and thats exactly what Johnny Marbles, Pistol Pete, and Melons Galore did that afternoon. with my supervision of course. we held up the biggest train in town... until the crane buckled under the pressure and the damned thing got away.
thats when we all made a life-changing decision...
to write a musical called Cats and take it to Broadway...
but someone had beat us to the punch... so we punched him back... and here we are... living it up in Margarittaville... each of us cleverly disguised as Jimmy Buffet... it wasnt easy to convince him he was a quintuplet... but he finally accepted it... and we live happily like leeches on the face of a young child shoved forcefully into a port-o-john...
y'all come back now for more stories. ya hear?