[Fic] Knights
Title: Knights
Author/Artist: subakai
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Spain, England, France, America, Canada, Prussia, America/England and France/Spain
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mentions of sex. Bad faerie tale writing.
Summary: Knights in shining armor Spain and Prussia, who are seeking gold and glory, hear of the princess trapped in a tower by an evil wizard and his two horrible dragons.
Gallant Knights, Sir Spain and Sir Prussia of Euro arrived in the castle town of Gaul one early morning. Knights from around the world convened upon the beautiful land, hearing of the danger that loomed just beyond its borders. Word had spread, faster than wildfire, that the loved Princess of Gaul had been kidnapped from her chambers by an evil wizard.
Fame, wealth and glory went to the brave man who could rescue her. Rumors spread that the King might even offer the beautiful princess’ hand to the man that rescued her. The Princess of Gaul was considered the fairest of the fair, golden hair that curled softly around her lovely face, inviting a hand to run through it and admire its soft silkiness. Her eyes were of a pure blue, deeper than that of the Pope’s own sapphires.
Sirs Spain and Prussia traveled east to Gaul in search of gold and glory, respectively.
They met with many other traveling knights, Prussia almost getting into fights with them all but Spain managed to calm the situation. A rare lady knight from a bit north of Gaul, snorted at Prussia’s exclamation from the town square, stating that two second hand knights had no chance in getting the princess back.
“Well, never mind her, amigo. We’ve got the pass from the Castle to pass through the Valley of Corrupted Gravity, go into the Dark Forest and find the Wizard’s tower fight the dragons then the wizard and save the Princess!”
Prussia scowled as he slammed his empty beer mug on the table, “Make it sound easy, why don’t ya. That’s all we gotta do?”
“Yeah. Why? Do you want to make a quick side stop at the Forbidden Capital?”
Prussia glared and yelled for another mug of beer, “Sure, why not? We might even run across a Wingly that has managed to accumulate ten thousand years interest in gold.”
“W-we might,” Spain’s green eyes stared hard at the small black crudely drawn broken castle on the old brown tinted map, the last one the item shop had.
“OI! Fuck no we’re not going around that shithole if we don’t know there’s gold and at least one Wingly there. We’re here for the fucking,” Prussia had the intelligence to lower his voice, “Princess.”
“Fine. Later then.”
“Damn you, let’s go. Been a while and no one’s come by with another beer for me,” Prussia yelled, probably hoping to make sure the waitresses heard. Spain shook his head and stood, sword clinking against his armored thigh. Prussia made a show of slamming his fists on the wooden table before standing up with Spain and leaving for their inn.
~*~
Prussia had a lot of fun pushing Spain off cliffs and watching him fall up. He would then follow and do twirls in mid air before slamming into the ground when he landed on the world upside down, after falling upwards. He decided they would have to visit the Valley of Corrupted Gravity more often.
~*~
Three days ride later (having gone through the hell of getting their horses through the Valley), they made it through the Dark Forest (which was quite a misnomer. The forest as actually quite sunny). The Wizard’s tower was quite easy to find as it was the tallest building for miles.
“Wouldn’t an Evil Wizard want to hide and shit? Make it a bit hard for the,” Prussia grinned and his chest puffed out, “heroes to find him?”
“Maybe he’s not evil?” Spain smiled and looked up at a lonely white cloud in the dark blue sky, the blue broken only by the pure white tower that jutted out from the ground. “And doesn’t it seem phallic to you?”
Prussia squinted to look at the tower and grinned, “HAHAHA! It does! A gay wizard. Just. Fucking. Awesome. He’ll probably attack us with rainbows and retreat on his unicorn!”
They rode closer to the white tower when Spain asked out loud, “How do we get in?”
“Why on earth do you want to go in?” Someone asked behind them. Their horses screamed at something heavy landed behind them and almost bolted forward in fear but Spain and Prussia brought them under control. Hesitantly they both turned and gaped at the giant golden dragons. Their scales glistened like living gold as they moved, breathing, sending warm breezes of air at them.
“We’re here to rescue the Princess,” Spain said, eyes watching their scales hungrily. One, the one with bright violet eyes, noticed and shifted, making Spain eye him even more.
“Finally! Someone’s here to pick the Princess up Canada,” The other, the one with lively blue eyes, swiveled his head to the other, nudging the long thick neck with his muzzle, “England’s gonna finally get rid of her, and he’s gonna start paying more attention to us again!”
Canada snorted and smacked lightly at the prodding muzzle with his large claws, “I liked the Princess, America. She’s a good cook.”
“England’s food ain’t so bad…”
Spain and Prussia looked at each other and shrugged. Clearly they probably weren’t going to be fighting the dragons.
“Hey, you two,” Prussia yelled, interrupting the two squabbling creatures, “we gotta get the Princess! Take us to her and your master!”
The two stopped and looked at Prussia, saying together, “England is not our master. He is my brother,” Canada said, while America said, “He is my lover.”
America growled and sat back on his back haunches, holding out his claws, “I’ll take you to up. England will give you the Princess and you can leave.”
“So the wizard is a dragon too?” Prussia asked, grimacing at the thought.
Canada shook his head, “Of course not. He has let us live with him since we were children, but he is a human. A strange one, but still human.”
“SPAIN! What the hell are you doing?!”Prussia yelled as Spain dismounted and walked towards the large dragon’s claws. The curly haired brunette looked back at Prussia and said, with a face full of question, “He said he would take us up?”
“And you’re trusting a dragon? He’s probably going up to his nest to eat you!”
America growled, “I do not have a nest! England can’t have children, so we don’t need one.”
They all ignored America’s mutterings of trying magic to rectify that and how England refused. Spain nudged America and the golden claw closed around him and America spread his large golden wings and took off into the sky.
“Hey… how do they have sex?” Prussia asked.
Canada answered in a tone of pure disgust, “They take turns switching physical forms.”
~*~
“GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!” A voice screeched. America dug his sharp claws into the once pristine white tower, telling Spain England fixed it with magic for America and Canada when Spain asked about it.
A large window acted like a door and America brought Spain inside. Two blonds were looking at each other, glaring.
One of them, the one with large eyebrows, noticed them and pointed at the other, “America, get it out! Before I throw it out!”
“IT? Have you no class!”
America grinned, showing long rows of sharp white teeth, “Guess who’s here, England? A knight to pick up the princess!”
Both blondes looked at Spain, who smiled and waved. The other blonde tossed her long shining hair over her shoulder and daintily plucked her soft blue dress up to keep from stepping on it at she ran to him.
“Oh, brave knight! Save me from this horrid uncultured being!” She reached Spain and kissed him, ignoring the snickering dragon behind them. "You're actually a good kisser, sir knight," the Princess grinned then hid behind him, wrapping her arms tight around his chest, almost groping him, and sneered at England.
The other blonde turned a vivid red and was then tackled by a flash of gold. “America, get off!”
America, now turned human (wearing clothes. Spain chalked it up to magic) hugged England and looked over his shoulder, “I’ll take you and France back down.”
“Yes, get that ugly bitch out of my tower and life! I still don’t know how she fucking showed up, but I want her away!”
A screeching match between the wizard and the princess began and grew as Spain and America readied to take her and the knight down.
Then, France ignored England and turned to Spain, “My, aren’t you handsome. Perhaps you’d like to search me over, make sure I am completely safe and sound?”
Spain tilted his head and made an inquisitive noise, “I should… I’ll have to get you down first. America?”
America ginned, white and happy, gave England one last squeeze and ran out the window. Then, a long serpentine neck shot up, followed by a set of two claws. France hugged Spain and pressed close to him as America placed them in his claw, taking great care to keep from squeezing too hard and hurting them. England shouted out one last swear word before they plummeted to the ground.
As they landed, Spain noticed something. Prussia was running up to them, yelling something about Canada being a pretty good ‘person’ to talk to.
“Princess?”
“Hmm?”
“You don’t have breasts… and… you seem to have… something down there.”
“Oh! That’s right,” She, he? France grinned and tightened his grip on Spain.
“Oh… okay.”
“Right…” America drawled and nudged them away, “anyways, have fun going back to Gaul. And Princess, don’t come back, it won’t be good for England and me. And Canada too I suppose.”
The Princess and the knight nodded and walked towards Prussia, readying themselves back for the trip.
Canada snorted and flapped his wings, “Fuck.”
Author/Artist: subakai
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Spain, England, France, America, Canada, Prussia, America/England and France/Spain
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mentions of sex. Bad faerie tale writing.
Summary: Knights in shining armor Spain and Prussia, who are seeking gold and glory, hear of the princess trapped in a tower by an evil wizard and his two horrible dragons.
Gallant Knights, Sir Spain and Sir Prussia of Euro arrived in the castle town of Gaul one early morning. Knights from around the world convened upon the beautiful land, hearing of the danger that loomed just beyond its borders. Word had spread, faster than wildfire, that the loved Princess of Gaul had been kidnapped from her chambers by an evil wizard.
Fame, wealth and glory went to the brave man who could rescue her. Rumors spread that the King might even offer the beautiful princess’ hand to the man that rescued her. The Princess of Gaul was considered the fairest of the fair, golden hair that curled softly around her lovely face, inviting a hand to run through it and admire its soft silkiness. Her eyes were of a pure blue, deeper than that of the Pope’s own sapphires.
Sirs Spain and Prussia traveled east to Gaul in search of gold and glory, respectively.
They met with many other traveling knights, Prussia almost getting into fights with them all but Spain managed to calm the situation. A rare lady knight from a bit north of Gaul, snorted at Prussia’s exclamation from the town square, stating that two second hand knights had no chance in getting the princess back.
“Well, never mind her, amigo. We’ve got the pass from the Castle to pass through the Valley of Corrupted Gravity, go into the Dark Forest and find the Wizard’s tower fight the dragons then the wizard and save the Princess!”
Prussia scowled as he slammed his empty beer mug on the table, “Make it sound easy, why don’t ya. That’s all we gotta do?”
“Yeah. Why? Do you want to make a quick side stop at the Forbidden Capital?”
Prussia glared and yelled for another mug of beer, “Sure, why not? We might even run across a Wingly that has managed to accumulate ten thousand years interest in gold.”
“W-we might,” Spain’s green eyes stared hard at the small black crudely drawn broken castle on the old brown tinted map, the last one the item shop had.
“OI! Fuck no we’re not going around that shithole if we don’t know there’s gold and at least one Wingly there. We’re here for the fucking,” Prussia had the intelligence to lower his voice, “Princess.”
“Fine. Later then.”
“Damn you, let’s go. Been a while and no one’s come by with another beer for me,” Prussia yelled, probably hoping to make sure the waitresses heard. Spain shook his head and stood, sword clinking against his armored thigh. Prussia made a show of slamming his fists on the wooden table before standing up with Spain and leaving for their inn.
~*~
Prussia had a lot of fun pushing Spain off cliffs and watching him fall up. He would then follow and do twirls in mid air before slamming into the ground when he landed on the world upside down, after falling upwards. He decided they would have to visit the Valley of Corrupted Gravity more often.
~*~
Three days ride later (having gone through the hell of getting their horses through the Valley), they made it through the Dark Forest (which was quite a misnomer. The forest as actually quite sunny). The Wizard’s tower was quite easy to find as it was the tallest building for miles.
“Wouldn’t an Evil Wizard want to hide and shit? Make it a bit hard for the,” Prussia grinned and his chest puffed out, “heroes to find him?”
“Maybe he’s not evil?” Spain smiled and looked up at a lonely white cloud in the dark blue sky, the blue broken only by the pure white tower that jutted out from the ground. “And doesn’t it seem phallic to you?”
Prussia squinted to look at the tower and grinned, “HAHAHA! It does! A gay wizard. Just. Fucking. Awesome. He’ll probably attack us with rainbows and retreat on his unicorn!”
They rode closer to the white tower when Spain asked out loud, “How do we get in?”
“Why on earth do you want to go in?” Someone asked behind them. Their horses screamed at something heavy landed behind them and almost bolted forward in fear but Spain and Prussia brought them under control. Hesitantly they both turned and gaped at the giant golden dragons. Their scales glistened like living gold as they moved, breathing, sending warm breezes of air at them.
“We’re here to rescue the Princess,” Spain said, eyes watching their scales hungrily. One, the one with bright violet eyes, noticed and shifted, making Spain eye him even more.
“Finally! Someone’s here to pick the Princess up Canada,” The other, the one with lively blue eyes, swiveled his head to the other, nudging the long thick neck with his muzzle, “England’s gonna finally get rid of her, and he’s gonna start paying more attention to us again!”
Canada snorted and smacked lightly at the prodding muzzle with his large claws, “I liked the Princess, America. She’s a good cook.”
“England’s food ain’t so bad…”
Spain and Prussia looked at each other and shrugged. Clearly they probably weren’t going to be fighting the dragons.
“Hey, you two,” Prussia yelled, interrupting the two squabbling creatures, “we gotta get the Princess! Take us to her and your master!”
The two stopped and looked at Prussia, saying together, “England is not our master. He is my brother,” Canada said, while America said, “He is my lover.”
America growled and sat back on his back haunches, holding out his claws, “I’ll take you to up. England will give you the Princess and you can leave.”
“So the wizard is a dragon too?” Prussia asked, grimacing at the thought.
Canada shook his head, “Of course not. He has let us live with him since we were children, but he is a human. A strange one, but still human.”
“SPAIN! What the hell are you doing?!”Prussia yelled as Spain dismounted and walked towards the large dragon’s claws. The curly haired brunette looked back at Prussia and said, with a face full of question, “He said he would take us up?”
“And you’re trusting a dragon? He’s probably going up to his nest to eat you!”
America growled, “I do not have a nest! England can’t have children, so we don’t need one.”
They all ignored America’s mutterings of trying magic to rectify that and how England refused. Spain nudged America and the golden claw closed around him and America spread his large golden wings and took off into the sky.
“Hey… how do they have sex?” Prussia asked.
Canada answered in a tone of pure disgust, “They take turns switching physical forms.”
~*~
“GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!” A voice screeched. America dug his sharp claws into the once pristine white tower, telling Spain England fixed it with magic for America and Canada when Spain asked about it.
A large window acted like a door and America brought Spain inside. Two blonds were looking at each other, glaring.
One of them, the one with large eyebrows, noticed them and pointed at the other, “America, get it out! Before I throw it out!”
“IT? Have you no class!”
America grinned, showing long rows of sharp white teeth, “Guess who’s here, England? A knight to pick up the princess!”
Both blondes looked at Spain, who smiled and waved. The other blonde tossed her long shining hair over her shoulder and daintily plucked her soft blue dress up to keep from stepping on it at she ran to him.
“Oh, brave knight! Save me from this horrid uncultured being!” She reached Spain and kissed him, ignoring the snickering dragon behind them. "You're actually a good kisser, sir knight," the Princess grinned then hid behind him, wrapping her arms tight around his chest, almost groping him, and sneered at England.
The other blonde turned a vivid red and was then tackled by a flash of gold. “America, get off!”
America, now turned human (wearing clothes. Spain chalked it up to magic) hugged England and looked over his shoulder, “I’ll take you and France back down.”
“Yes, get that ugly bitch out of my tower and life! I still don’t know how she fucking showed up, but I want her away!”
A screeching match between the wizard and the princess began and grew as Spain and America readied to take her and the knight down.
Then, France ignored England and turned to Spain, “My, aren’t you handsome. Perhaps you’d like to search me over, make sure I am completely safe and sound?”
Spain tilted his head and made an inquisitive noise, “I should… I’ll have to get you down first. America?”
America ginned, white and happy, gave England one last squeeze and ran out the window. Then, a long serpentine neck shot up, followed by a set of two claws. France hugged Spain and pressed close to him as America placed them in his claw, taking great care to keep from squeezing too hard and hurting them. England shouted out one last swear word before they plummeted to the ground.
As they landed, Spain noticed something. Prussia was running up to them, yelling something about Canada being a pretty good ‘person’ to talk to.
“Princess?”
“Hmm?”
“You don’t have breasts… and… you seem to have… something down there.”
“Oh! That’s right,” She, he? France grinned and tightened his grip on Spain.
“Oh… okay.”
“Right…” America drawled and nudged them away, “anyways, have fun going back to Gaul. And Princess, don’t come back, it won’t be good for England and me. And Canada too I suppose.”
The Princess and the knight nodded and walked towards Prussia, readying themselves back for the trip.
Canada snorted and flapped his wings, “Fuck.”