A Dream
Some people would expect it to be a nightmare...but to me, it was a dream...I was relieved.
He told me he cheated on me. Over the phone. He slipped up. Originally he said that the zit-faced asian bitch tried to kiss him and he pulled away. But then, he said he kissed her again. Not that she tried to kiss him again, but that he kissed her again. I smiled at his idiocy, but knowing that I was only being relieved by a dream, it didn't make things better in my heart. It actually made my heart sink knowing that this may or may not be true when I wake up. I still don't know if it's true.
Suddenly, I was playing volleyball with girls I went to high school with. A part of me was crying and it was leaking through my eyes. No one seemed to notice, but I was embarrassed about them. Truly embarrassed that I was crying when he was sleeping with this girl. Melinda. Marissa. I only knew that her name started with a "M." But then, when I thought I knew this, I started to think her name was Kellie, and it was then I knew that I was truly fucked up in my thinking. It didn't matter what her name was. I had his cell phone number. Margo would call it. I would listen in. Find out the truth. Though, I knew the truth in my heart. Why I wanted to make things finalized? For some reason, I enjoy causing myself pain and heart-ache. But, why should I be in pain and feel my heart breaking when I was already over it to begin with? Emotions are a funny thing. I hate them. Screwing me up and fucking with what I know to be true.
I listened in. And the truth was told. Then a shit-load of things fell off the shelf and crashed down on a kitten. I woke up.