To Those in the Know - Away from Paige
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!
DO I HAVE 'I HAPPEN TO HAVE A VERY FLEXIBLE TONGUE' TATTOOED TO MY FUCKING FOREHEAD OR SOMETHING?!?!
Edit:
Girl: Hi, Thomas. I heard your husband is gone. He must not love you very much if he just leaves like that.
I could make you a very happy man, Thomas.
Me: No, honey. What you could make me is divorced. And probably a pedophile.
My husband loves me very much, he just has a job that means he has to travel sometimes. I like that he gets to do it. It makes him happy, which makes me happy.
Honey, is everything okay with you?
Girl: I'm seventeen. I turned seventeen in March.
If he loves you so much, why doesn't he take you with him? I would never leave you alone.
Me: And I turn 41 in three weeks.
It's complicated. We have children, and it's easier if I'm around to be with them. When...I'm around. I'm not alone, I have my family with me.
Girl: That just means you're experienced enough to handle me.
But you keep complaining that you want sex. So do I, Thomas. Look. (THIS WAS WHERE THE INAPPROPRIATE ICON WAS!)
Me: Oh no...nonono, Paige. Sweetheart, I want to be with my husband or my wife. That's an entirely different thing to just wanting sex. I miss them, not...well, okay, I miss that too, but it's...
Argh. Cover up, Sweetie. I think you're very beautiful and you should be with someone your age.
Girl: But everyone my age hates me.
Me: Oh, Paige. That can't be true. You're a wonderful girl. You just haven't met the right person yet.
Girl: Yes, I have, Thomas! He's you!
I have no idea what to do about this.
DO I HAVE 'I HAPPEN TO HAVE A VERY FLEXIBLE TONGUE' TATTOOED TO MY FUCKING FOREHEAD OR SOMETHING?!?!
Edit:
Girl: Hi, Thomas. I heard your husband is gone. He must not love you very much if he just leaves like that.
I could make you a very happy man, Thomas.
Me: No, honey. What you could make me is divorced. And probably a pedophile.
My husband loves me very much, he just has a job that means he has to travel sometimes. I like that he gets to do it. It makes him happy, which makes me happy.
Honey, is everything okay with you?
Girl: I'm seventeen. I turned seventeen in March.
If he loves you so much, why doesn't he take you with him? I would never leave you alone.
Me: And I turn 41 in three weeks.
It's complicated. We have children, and it's easier if I'm around to be with them. When...I'm around. I'm not alone, I have my family with me.
Girl: That just means you're experienced enough to handle me.
But you keep complaining that you want sex. So do I, Thomas. Look. (THIS WAS WHERE THE INAPPROPRIATE ICON WAS!)
Me: Oh no...nonono, Paige. Sweetheart, I want to be with my husband or my wife. That's an entirely different thing to just wanting sex. I miss them, not...well, okay, I miss that too, but it's...
Argh. Cover up, Sweetie. I think you're very beautiful and you should be with someone your age.
Girl: But everyone my age hates me.
Me: Oh, Paige. That can't be true. You're a wonderful girl. You just haven't met the right person yet.
Girl: Yes, I have, Thomas! He's you!
I have no idea what to do about this.