Oct 26, 2009 20:40
I miss you. I'm distracting myself in any way I can, but all I can really think about is you. And that you're going through something horrible. And I have to stand back and let Indiana Jones and Charlie's Angels look for you because when I was helping, I was too afraid of Amaris and the Templar and I held them all back.
I've become a fraidy cat. A loser. I used to be that guy. That 'burst into the building and bust heads and then ask questions' guy. Now I'm 'hide in the fortress house and teach myself dance moves to hide my weeping soul' guy. I try to pretend I'm fine but I'm not. And I'm actually terrified someone might ask why I'm NOT out with them. What would I say? Sorry, I travelled all this way to panic attack my way into the splits, but I did learn a new sandwich recipe!
My best friend is suffering and I know how he feels and I am useless. I've been rendered useless.
I'm so sorry.
i am a complete and utter dickhead,
peter,
being a dick,
apologies