(no subject)
The conversation takes my mind off of it all.
(It all being
the deadlines
the tomorrows
the today
the person I was
the person I am
the shaping
the excuses
saying goodbye
death
a third time
the questions
the why
the fairness
the test
the act of betraying my mother and best friend day after day
the smell of the sink when its done
the uncertainty of certain status
Dolores
the eulogy he wrote
her grandson
her daughter
its the question of
how is she going to raise that baby
how are we going to let go
its my faith
Catholicism
the smell of the incense
the gold of the church
its the divine question
its the friendships
the relationships
the complication
the obligation
her alcoholism
her addiction
my enabling
its the distance
and the certainty it brings
its that damned song
hootie and the blowfish
its the eminent goodbye
its the simplicity I crave
the complexity I have
the chase
its coming to terms with the past
only to find a repeat in the present
its my Father
the fear I'll someday forget him
its Jack
the fear that everyone else has already forgotten
its the puzzle
the pieces
the way I can’t fit it all together
its the pressure
the way it never fails
its the way mass can never be destroyed
(it can only change)
its the compulsiveness
( further more its the obsessive ness)
"the pm is off the alarm is on"
"the pm is off the alarm is on"
"the pm is off the alarm is on"
"the pm is off the alarm is on"
its the decision
its the pain of my own realization
the way I walk in everyday
the way I am faced with the clear fact
"this is not what I belong doing"
its family
the lack there of
extended
its the fact that there is no obligation
and the reality that everyone understands
its my mother
disappointment
the struggle
the undying connection
Its time
Its time
Its time)