Fic: Not Ours to Command
Title: Not Ours to Command
Author: suaine
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: love potion
Summary: A visiting princess has something special to give Arthur.
Notes: Thanks to the lovely wrennette for the superfast beta.
Not Ours to Command
The size of the feast to honor Princess Jocelyn indicated the importance of her offer to Uther; its lavishness made Merlin faintly sick just from watching. The courtiers brought out their finest silks, their most intricate jewelry. The cooks offered up the finest meats, and an abundance of out of season fruit. From what Merlin could see, Arthur seemed to enjoy himself immensely, but the same could not be said for the guest of honor.
Jocelyn had made a bid so outlandish, Arthur hadn't been able to shut up about it the night before, as Merlin readied him for bed. It had been impossible to tell if the prince had been flattered or shocked or even in what direction he leaned when it came to marrying the girl. Merlin had tugged a little more ferociously on the lacings of Arthur's night shirt, but hadn't allowed himself to speak.
Merlin knew the look in Jocelyn's eyes, saw it in the mirror often enough. She was keeping a secret and it terrified her. And yes, maybe Merlin was a little jealous. She was a nice girl. Her servants loved her. Gwen had had a chance to talk with her and found her nothing but charming, an angel and a true lady. Merlin rolled his eyes. Something about her just set him on edge.
"More wine, Merlin." Arthur didn't look at him. Merlin shook himself and leaned down to fill Arthur's cup. The wine hadn't been half-gone, a pretense then.
"What is it?" Merlin caught himself staring at Arthur's neck and looked away.
The muscles of Arthur's shoulder tensed under his hand, and Merlin wondered when he'd put his fingers there. He couldn't remember, touching Arthur had become automatic, a biological imperative. Which was well and good until the day Arthur realized what was going on and chopped Merlin's fingers off for their presumption.
"Keep an eye on the princess, would you? Something about this doesn't feel right," Arthur said.
Merlin snorted. There were times when he agreed with Arthur and there were times when he just had to say something, anything, to hide that fact. "Oh, do you mean the part where she prostitutes herself so her father can sell his fealty to Uther at the highest price or the part where she is fifteen and looks like she might pass out from fear every time you look at her?"
He was still touching Arthur and at his words Arthur's shoulder bunched impossibly tighter. "I mean the part where she keeps looking for the guards as if they might jump out at her any moment."
Merlin glanced back at the princess, but the girl was no longer seated next to Morgana. She was walking toward them, a troubled look in her eyes.
"Heads up," Merlin said and stepped back into the shadows, almost like a respectable servant.
Jocelyn curtseyed just enough to pay respect to tradition, not enough to convey any kind of submissiveness on her part. Merlin grinned, anyone who took Arthur's ego down a notch could not be so bad. Her face was the perfect mask of a smile.
"Prince Arthur," she said, her voice a perfect modulation between demure and enticing. "My father has sent me with more than just promises and empty words."
Arthur swallowed, Merlin could tell he was uncomfortable from the set of his back, the way he leaned away from Jocelyn without moving at all. "I need nothing more than what your father has already offered us. The land we gain from this alliance will help bring a lasting peace to the region."
Jocelyn twitched, and Merlin grew suspicious. All of her strange behavior seemed to culminate here, in this moment, and court etiquette bound Arthur's hands. Of course, such a thing as etiquette had yet to stop Merlin from doing something stupid.
"I hear there is a bet on tomorrow's hunt," she said, her left hand coming to rest on Arthur's right as if it belonged. She fished something out of her gown, a glittering vial on a gold chain, beautifully crafted and doubtlessly deadly.
"What-" Arthur seemed locked into this conversation, with no way to escape.
"This is a concoction our physician has developed. It heightens the senses and boosts... performance." The flirtatious edge to her voice made Merlin want to retch.
The situation was fraught with tension, and Merlin remembered a similar moment, with a goblet in his hand and dozens of swords about to clash. He knew what he had to do.
"Let me taste it," Merlin said to Arthur, his eyes on the princess. Jocelyn's expression turned to stone and there was fear behind it.
"No, Merlin," Arthur said, "no one is going to taste anything."
Jocelyn shivered. With rage, perhaps, or fear, but her voice had an edge of haughty superiority. "You would refuse a gift from my father, the king? Is that how little this treaty means to Camelot?"
Of course, her voice had risen to be heard above the din of cutlery and conversation. "Is that how my kingdom is to be treated in this alliance?" Every eye in the hall was on Jocelyn and Arthur. Including Uther's.
Merlin took the vial out of her grasp. It felt warm and powerful in his hand. Magic. "There have been attempts on the prince's life, my lady. Let me just-"
"No," she said, her eyes wide with shock, but Merlin didn't wait. He let a few drops drip onto his tongue and the magic entered his system. It spread through him, twined with his own, and slowly soaked into his blood. He couldn't find any fault with the potion. It seemed perfectly harmless, doing exactly what she said. He felt more awake, more aware.
Jocelyn still had one hand outstretched, and as the court watched, she relaxed. Her face was ashen though. "Well?"
Merlin shrugged and handed the vial to Arthur. "Feels fine. It's not poison."
She laughed and the sound had something of shattered glass. "Of course it's not poison."
Arthur snatched the vial from Merlin with a dark look. They would have words about this, his expression promised. "Give me that," Arthur said, and put the vial to his mouth. Merlin couldn't help staring at the way his lips closed around the tube, the way his adam's apple rose as he swallowed.
Arthur pressed the empty vial into Jocelyn's hand. "An interesting potion. Thank your father for me when you return."
Jocelyn stood rooted to the ground, her eyes still on Arthur as if he had grown a second head. "I... I will, my lord."
Arthur looked back at Merlin.
The air seemed to be gone from the hall, because Merlin could not catch a breath.
"Father," Arthur said, his eyes not leaving Merlin's for a second. "I think I shall turn in early, the hunting party rides out at dawn and I would not wish to miss it."
Uther made an agreeable noise, sounding like wine and good cheer. Merlin couldn't spare the time to check his expression. He felt glued to the prince's gaze.
"Merlin," Arthur said. His name. It sounded like pornography.
He could only nod.
They left the hall without another word, Merlin one step behind. Arthur balanced his stride perfectly, fast enough but not so fast as to appear eager. As the doors closed behind them, Arthur took hold of his arm and Merlin whimpered. Arthur pulled him into the next corridor to the right and pushed him against the wall.
"What's going on?" Arthur spoke into his ear, far too close for Merlin to concentrate on the words. This was. This.
"I..." Merlin tried to collect his thoughts, tried to force some sort of order on his feverish mind. His fingers caught in Arthur's hair and on his belt. Pulling him close. "I have no idea."
"This is magic," Arthur said, sounding strangled as he kissed Merlin's neck. The touch of his lips sent fire down Merlin's spine.
He bit Arthur's ear, drawing a growl from him that went straight to his cock. "I don't think she- god, do that again." Arthur licked the hollow of his throat. "Uhm, I really- really don't think she meant to do this."
Merlin's tongue darted out to taste the corner of Arthur's mouth. His hands had migrated to Arthur's ass, gripping the flesh so tight it had to hurt. Their hips came together and Merlin gasped.
"Aren't you," Arthur breathed out, just before crushing their mouths together in a brutal, suffocating kiss. He drew back only enough to speak, to breathe, foreheads touching and lips ghosting over each other. "Aren't you supposed to protect me from this kind of magic?"
Merlin kissed Arthur, exploring his mouth to give himself time to think of an answer. Arthur's hands, however, seemed to have a different agenda. In seconds their breeches were unlaced and Arthur enveloped them both. His thumb flicked over the head of Merlin's cock and all rational thought abandoned him.
"Arthur," Merlin said into the kiss.
"Hm."
"Please."
He'd be embarrassed about how needy he sounded, if Arthur's little gasp didn't have that exact same quality. "Are you sure?" Arthur's question sounded pained, and the restraint it took him to stop moving made the veins on his neck stand out.
Merlin almost bit his tongue trying to keep it from snaking out. "Could you stop if I said no?"
Arthur's eyes met Merlin's and the need surged up like something alive, something bright and hot and dangerous. But in that look was Arthur's heart, too, and his honor. "You know I'd try."
Merlin arched against Arthur, the words sending white, electric pleasure through his body. "Fuck me."
It set something loose in Arthur, something primal. He pressed Merlin back into the wall and his let hand found its way to Merlin's backside, where the pleasure turned edgy, uncomfortable. Merlin whispered a few words and Arthur's fingers were slick with oil, a fragrant remedy for muscle aches.
"That comes in handy," Arthur gasped between hard, desperate kisses.
Merlin laughed, thready and a little broken. "Yeah, well, I figure this is going to happen either way, might as well make it less painful."
Arthur stilled, again, a look of anguish in his eyes as he bit down on the flesh of his cheek to counter the urge. "Merlin, I can't-"
That was quite enough. Arthur wasn't the only one who needed the release, who felt compelled to be as close as possible, who hungered. "If you don't do it, I will."
Arthur shuddered, but his eyes cleared. "You," Arthur said, pressing a small kiss to the corner of Merlin's mouth, "would like that, wouldn't you?"
Merlin, his ankle hooked around Arthur's leg, splayed open as much as possible considering he was propped against a wall, raised an eyebrow. "I would like to do a lot of things to you."
Arthur's fingers worked relentlessly. "Tell me, how long have you had these traitorous thoughts?"
Merlin whimpered, just a little. "Maybe, uhm, the day we had that fight. You hold a broom rather fetchingly."
Arthur groaned, pushing inside. It felt. It felt a little like being ripped into pieces, like being put back together. "Merlin."
Merlin kissed Arthur's mouth, his neck, his cheeks. He got slammed into the wall, and those bruises would be nasty tomorrow, but right then all that mattered was movement. "C'mon Arthur, you can do better." He cupped Arthur's face and pressed their mouths together, until Arthur opened himself up and Merlin took it all. He thrust his tongue into Arthur's mouth, mirroring their rhythm.
"C'mon," Merlin said, "c'mon. Faster, Arthur."
Arthur changed his angle and suddenly every thrust made stars explode behind Merlin's eyes. He tried to hold on, but this was too much, too good, and he fell apart. "Arthur."
The sound of Arthur's voice, almost chanting his name, over and over, set every one of Merlin's nerves on fire. His skin felt too small for his body, for this, and he burst outward, power and magic soaking through both of them.
"Merlin," Arthur choked out. One more thrust and the tension in Arthur broke, and suddenly all that held them up was magic.
They stayed like that for a while, until Merlin's leg began to cramp and the intrusion in his body was less pleasure and more discomfort and a draft cooled their sweat and made them shiver. Merlin released the magic and Arthur sagged against him, then pulled away, not looking at Merlin.
"So."
Arthur ran a hand through his hair. Merlin recognized the gesture as a sign that Arthur was this close to losing his princely composure. "Next time, how about a bed?"
Anger made Arthur look at him. "There isn't going to be a-" But then something took hold of Arthur, and Merlin could feel it, too. The surge of magic. Apparently, it wasn't the kind of spell or drug that left the system upon completion. Arthur looked away again, keeping a very careful distance between him and Merlin. He looked. Well, he looked fucked, which was ironic enough to make Merlin want to laugh.
"You really have no idea," Merlin said, grinning now, "of the things you do to me. The things you say. Undress me, Merlin. Polish my sword, Merlin. Kneel down and clean that up while I watch your bum, Merlin."
Arthur snorted. "I don't sound like that." Merlin noticed that he didn't exactly deny saying these things though.
"Why don't we just get you to your chambers and try to work things out there, not in a drafty corridor?"
Arthur nodded. They made nice progress without touching once, corridors and stairs and they even passed little alcoves and didn't stop to take advantage, even as the need began to rise again. Every second thought of Merlin's seemed to relate to Arthur. Arthur's skin, the belt on his hips, the curve of his backside. Fear of discovery was all that prevented Merlin from stopping Arthur with magic and pulling him to the cold, hard ground.
"Stop staring at me," Arthur said with not so much as a glance in Merlin's direction.
"I'm not."
A small, strangled laugh. "Oh, you are. I can feel your eyes all over me." Merlin couldn't guess if Arthur liked the sensation or not.
They reached Arthur's chambers more breathless than they had any right to be from just walking. Inside, Merlin pushed Arthur against the door and kissed him.
"This is better."
Merlin could only sigh in agreement, kissing Arthur, claiming him. Despite his best intentions, the kiss turned heated and his hands began to wander. Merlin pushed himself away and just breathed in and out until he could trust himself enough to speak.
"I think I did something," Merlin said, "to the potion. I think it reacted to my magic."
Arthur licked his lips, staring at Merlin's mouth. "You're probably right, strange as that is to say."
Merlin couldn't hold back any longer, he grabbed Arthur's head and crushed their mouths together, satisfying the need humming just beneath his skin. They stumbled toward the bed, Arthur leading by feel and memory, and it had to be a miracle that they didn't crash into any furniture. This time, Merlin wanted to feel more than just a hand, he wanted skin to lick and pinch and make his own.
Over the next five minutes he learned that it was indeed possible to get undressed while having his tongue almost down Arthur's throat. The magic, his own, fueled by the potion, probably helped with that but he hadn't made a conscious effort. Arthur seemed to approve, if his moans were any indication. He writhed underneath Merlin, almost insensible with the need to be closer.
It struck Merlin like a physical blow, this thing that had forced itself into this moment. Arthur had barely half a mind left to make decisions and Merlin had no power to stop this. Because he wanted, he wanted this so much, part of him had yearned for Arthur's touch since the moment they met.
He knelt over Arthur now, trying so hard to keep himself in check, just watching as the crown prince of Camelot offered his body and more to his servant. "Arthur."
Arthur's eyes were pressed closed and at once he grew still. "Merlin, I do hope you intend to do something soon, because I really might just die of waiting."
"I-" Merlin got lost, for a moment, staring at the stark and terrifying beauty of Arthur beneath him. He leaned down to kiss Arthur and he kept the potion and the need back, trapped them in some deep part of himself, and as their lips touched, for a single moment, it was just them. "What do you want, Arthur? I'd give you anything."
Arthur made an undignifed sound in the back of his throat that completely undid any resolve Merlin had to take this slow. In between bruising kisses, Arthur said: "You. Just you."
Merlin thought about tasting and licking and biting everywhere he could, but his mouth never strayed far from Arthur's and his fingers prepared Arthur almost of their own volition. He'd never thought he could have this and it felt strange to taint it all with that foreign magic, but at the core they were unchanged, just Merlin and Arthur, and they had waited long enough.
He couldn't remember why they'd ever thought this was a bad idea as he buried himself in Arthur, who was so tight and took it all with such abandon. He'd probably never felt this before and Merlin wanted to make it good. But he was holding on by a thread as it was. He had no finesse left for making it special, all he could do was make sure Arthur was there with him all the way.
"Arthur," Merlin said and it was all those words he never knew how to say.
His right hand slid along Arthur's cock, thumbing the tip. His other arm began to hurt from the weight of his upper body. Arthur shuddered under him and cried out, something unintelligible that sounded a bit like magic and a bit like Merlin, and his whole body convulsed. Merlin managed a few more strokes before he collapsed, spent and momentarily free of the magic.
Merlin wanted to move, maybe clean them up a bit, but Arthur slung his arm around Merlin's waist and didn't let him go. "Tomorrow," he said, "we can deal with all this tomorrow."
It was late and Merlin was exhausted inside and out. He didn't put up a fight.
+
Arthur was a light sleeper. He could, when the situation called for it, get a full night's rest and be completely awake within seconds at the merest hint of a sound. With Merlin in his bed and magic thrumming in his veins, it seemed he wouldn't get even that much rest.
It was near dawn, so he couldn't have been awake all night, but in the twilight hours it felt like forever. The fire inside him burned, raged against his stubborn refusal to wake Merlin for more sex.
"What have you gotten us into this time, Merlin?" His voice sounded oddly subdued to his own ears. Maybe he was coming down with something.
Or maybe he felt like a thug for taking his pleasure from Merlin in a corridor where anyone could have seen them. Were anyone could have noticed Merlin's magic. It would have been hard to explain the strange glow of Merlin's eyes as moonlight, especially since there had been no windows.
Not for the first time, he wondered how Merlin was still alive. He was covered in magic, soaked through with it, sometimes it seemed impossible not to be blinded by its intensity. But no one ever noticed. For all the times Merlin had done magic right in front of him, he'd never known until Merlin had that ridiculous cold. Every sneeze had turned Arthur's favorite clothes a different color.
"I can feel you watching," Merlin said, smacking his lips. Arthur couldn't help himself, the annoying habit almost felt endearing. He kissed Merlin, just a ghost of a touch, maybe to stop them from making that infernal noise.
No. This was all Arthur's completely unsuitable romantic streak coming out. He tried to force it back down before he said something stupid and sappy.
"Go back to sleep."
Merlin smiled and it made something in Arthur's insides flip. Oh fuck. He really was doomed. "In a minute, just let me-"
Merlin began to stroke Arthur in such a leisurely, undirected way, it felt a little like torture and a lot like he was somehow Merlin's pet. While that thought would normally outrage him and require recompense in the form of certain services, here at the edge of a new day, with Merlin curled into him like a cat, Arthur really couldn't find the energy. Pleasure built slowly inside him, a meandering spring more than the torrent of earlier that night. If either of them were indeed cats, Arthur was sure there would be purring.
It took ages to get to the threshold, every nerve-ending on fire by the time Merlin brought him off, but the softness of it felt right. In some ways, it was deliverance, a cleansing of last night's taint even though he could still feel the tug of the magic inside.
"Arthur," Merlin said into his ear, "I-"
He paused and Arthur could hear the unsaid things between them. He pulled Merlin a little closer. "Yeah, me too."
His climax came as a bit of an afterthought, and Merlin dropped away into sleep only seconds later, drooling where he lay on Arthur's chest. It should have been deeply annoying, and in the morning he would make sure Merlin was properly embarrassed about it. But at the moment, he was a bit too content to do anything at all. Bloody potion.
The most ludicrous thing about Merlin, if anyone were ever to ask Arthur on this subject, was the way Arthur felt about him. On his own, Merlin was merely a vaguely incompetent manservant, a scarily inept-at-hiding sorcerer, and a guy with too sharp cheekbones and too large ears. Without Arthur, Merlin would be unemployed, dead, and sex-less. It all came down to the inexplicable fact that Arthur couldn't imagine a future that didn't have Merlin in it.
He'd gone sleepless over that several times. If he could slap himself on the back of the head and not look like a simple fool, Arthur thought he would have done so every day since meeting Merlin.
An hour before daybreak, Arthur woke Merlin for the hunt. By the time he could catch his breath again, he was glad he'd figured in a half hour to spare for Merlin's general incompetence. Turned out, when Merlin was properly motivated, he was as capable with his chores as any well-trained member of the house hold.
Being a sorcerer also helped. A little.
The party waited for him, of course. Arthur could have been two hours late and the few courtiers who'd agreed to go out with them would have stood in their inappropriate leathers and their colorful cloaks, freezing in the morning winds, and not said a disparaging word. It was good to be crown prince.
"Where is the princess?" Arthur had a word or two for that one. Performance boosting potion indeed.
Women didn't usually go hunting, even on these more ceremonial outings. There had been a few occasions for which the whole court had relocated to the outdoors, dresses, feathers and tents included, but those Arthur would never deign to call hunts. Morgana rode out with them when she could, which was far less often than she would have liked, and of course, she wouldn't have missed this one. Her smirk gave Arthur a headache.
"Long night?"
Arthur ignored her in favor of Princess Jocelyn, who looked somewhat boyish in her sensible outfit. There were no lace trimmings or superfluous pieces of fur on her clothes. Take that, Morgana!
"My lady," he said, taking her hand. Behind him, Merlin twitched.
For all that she had looked like a rabbit in the crosshair last night, she appeared more terrified now. "Prince Arthur." She curtseyed, her eyes downcast. He wasn't having any of that.
"I would be honored if you would ride with me today. There are some things I would like to discuss with you."
Like the magical aphrodisiac. The princess nodded, a jerky movement that made him feel a little sick. It wasn't like he wanted to get her alone in the woods to murder her-
Oh. Well.
"My manservant will be accompanying us." He indicated Merlin, who was busy glaring daggers at her back. Oh, how Arthur wished a simple gesture could make him stop. His life would be so much easier if his servant wasn't such an imbecile.
The woods around Camelot had a well-tended feel to them. Very little underbrush, which was always a good thing if there were courtiers around. They split into small groups and Arthur set the goal for the day. The first group to kill a rabbit, a buck and a boar would gain a place of honor at the head table during the feast, which came, of course, with the ear of the King. It was the only reason young and spoiled nobles like Lord Jason ever joined these events.
Arthur had no interest in competing today.
The only problem with that was Jocelyn. After an hour in Arthur's company that mostly consisted of small talk - they were still too close to the other groups, too easily overheard - she huffed at him and grabbed her gear, stalking into the forest. She was quite good with a crossbow, her aim was impeccable.
"Nice shot," Merlin said, a dead rabbit at his feet. Arthur rolled his eyes and looked around for a proper target. Something with tusks, or antlers. Even Merlin had, at times, been able to shoot a rabbit.
"Take that with you, will you Merlin?"
It wasn't fair, anyway, what with the handicap on Arthur. How was he supposed to concentrate on tracks and flashes in the green when Merlin was right behind him, smiling and breathing, even? It was distracting.
They'd avoided eye contact for most of the day and that helped, but the buzz never quite went away. He could always tell where Merlin was, and his mind made up all the things Merlin could be doing. Every once in a while, he had to push Merlin against a tree or die of frustration.
"Mhm," Merlin said on those occasions.
Arthur, too busy with his tongue in Merlin's mouth, didn't say anything. They hadn't really talked about this. He was reasonably sure that Merlin was more than willing, after the events of the night he couldn't not be. The potion wasn't that powerful. It wasn't.
It was Jocelyn who finally broke the subject.
"You are very lucky to have a man like Merlin at your side. He's very devoted." She poked the little campfire they'd made with a big stick. "It's not every servant who will drink poison for you."
Arthur glanced at Merlin, who seemed to be caught somewhere between pride and embarrassment. "Yeah, he does that. I've been trying to teach him not to throw himself into danger, but he's as stubborn as they come."
Merlin threw an acorn at him. "I'm right here, you know."
Jocelyn did not seem fazed by the exchange. "I should thank you. Both of you."
"I'd rather have an explanation why you thought it a prudent idea to give the crown prince of Camelot a magical elixier. In full view of the court, I might add."
Jocelyn didn't look fifteen when she answered, her manner was for older, far more hollow, and something in Arthur twisted uncomfortably. "My father didn't expect my return unless it was as your wife. As his second daughter, I am worth nothing except as an incentive to sweeten certain deals."
Arthur swallowed, his throat dry. Merlin had somehow crept close enough to put a had on his shoulder. Making what he hoped was an encouraging gesture, Arthur kept still, waiting.
"I was to marry you at all cost, but I could not. Look at me, I'm fifteen years old. I want to- no, I need to be my own person, before I become some Lord's accessory. So I went to an old witch, a friend of my grandmother's."
"And you got the potion," Merlin said, once again out of turn, out of any kind of boundary.
Jocelyn smiled at Merlin. The warm look made Arthur want to kill something. "I got the potion. It was not meant to, well, it was certainly not meant to be imbibed by two people, especially one like you..." She gestured at Merlin and Arthur wanted to push him out of sight. Mine. He paled at the thought.
"What was it supposed to do?"
She shrugged. "It induces ardour, you would not have been able to stop yourself. Because the two of you drank only half each, the effect was less severe."
For a moment, Arthur didn't know what to do with the information. He thought of Merlin in that corridor, wide open, a feast for him to devour. Ardour indeed. Could he have stopped?
"You-" It was Merlin's thumb on his neck that kept him from jumping up and charging her, girl or not. "You would have made me attack someone."
Jocelyn's eyes were impossibly wide. "There were guards, they would have stopped you."
"You stood right there."
"Of course I did." She shook her head. "How else would I have gotten away with any of it? Your father would have had me seized and executed if he thought me responsible."
Arthur felt a nasty headache coming on that even Merlin's fingers couldn't dispel. "You wanted me to attack you, violate you. In full view of the court. Just to get out of a marriage that I would never have consented to in the first place."
"I- I had to do something."
Arthur sighed. "You could have talked to me."
There were tears in her eyes. Arthur kind of hated himself, just a little, for putting her in this position. "You are your father's son, Arthur Pendragon. In a choice between duty to your king, to Camelot, and helping a stupid girl, what would you have done?"
He thought of Mordred and Morgana. He thought of Merlin, scared and proud, showing off his magic for the first time, in the privacy of his chambers. "I would have done the right thing. I'm not a monster."
"How many witches die in a year under your father's eyes? You protect one, and a hundred go unnoticed. I couldn't take that chance."
She stood up, then, and shouldered her crossbow. He'd seen renditions of Athena that wouldn't have done her justice. "Thank you for your silence, Arthur. And thanks for this. I've always wanted to go on a hunt."
Arthur frowned as she walked away. Something about er last words- "Wait a minute. What do you mean you've always wanted to go hunting?"
They won the competition despite themselves. Arthur almost got run through by the boar they stumbled over as he dragged Merlin deeper into the woods for a little more than a kiss. And Jocelyn returned bloody, grinning, with the news that she'd felled a buck the size of a pony.
"Can't you-" Jocelyn said and gestured between Merlin and the darker forest, where her prize - no doubt a small, sickly thing - lay waiting.
Arthur forbade it, of course. To hide not one, but two people who had some proclivity with magic was one thing, to entertain their magical whims when they could bloody well drag the thing by hand was quite another.
"So," Merlin said, just before they broke through the bushes into the clearing marked as the meeting point, "When does that potion wear off anyway?" In hindsight, Arthur should have asked that earlier, but- he'd had a suspicion or two of his own.
Jocelyn almost collapsed with laughter. "What? You- what? I can't believe you-"
It all clicked into place then. "We're not under the spell anymore."
Merlin's baffled face made Arthur want to hit him. It also made Arthur want to kiss him, which was by far the more problematic concept. And, if he was right, completely natural. "But I felt it! There was magic in that potion."
"Some small magic, yes, but mostly pumpkin and sea-weed, several herbs I can't pronounce, if it weren't for the magic of the vial there wouldn't have been anything to feel, I suppose."
Arthur wanted to hit something, his post-hunt equilibrium in danger of disintegrating. "How long did it last?"
Jocelyn looked suitably chagrined, but there was something like a smile playing around her mouth still. "It acts fast, spikes the blood. Initially, there is a terrible urge, but it passes within minutes."
So that was that.
Arthur spent the rest of the day ordering Merlin around, calling him useless and stupid and horrible to look at, because the truth was much worse than Merlin's little frown and his eyes flashing angry gold. Okay, so nothing was worse than Merlin's eyes flashing angry gold in sight of the most conniving, backstabbing courtiers Camelot had to offer, which made Arthur tug him back into the shadow of an oak by the neck scarf.
"Don't be stupid," Arthur said, maybe a little scared because breaking in another manservant would be hard work and-
"Don't be an ass, then."
Merlin kissed him, and the touch still felt like fire and ice running through him, breaking him open. Not magic, just them. A horrible suspicion began to dawn on him.
"I think," Arthur said between kisses, in the dark coolness of the forest, voices just out of reach to understand them properly. "I think I might possibly kind of like you."
Merlin's eyes went wide, and he breathed out this small "oh" and kissed Arthur like it was the first time.
+
Jocelyn left Camelot with a signed treaty and her head still on her shoulders. She felt almost free, almost like possibility was hers for the taking, and it had to be the first time in her life. She couldn't remember anything other than the heavy weight of fear and expectation on her shoulders.
She'd come worrying that the marriage bed would be her funeral pyre. Her duty to her king and father had been as undeniable as her inherent magic.
She waved at the two figures on the battlements of Camelot and she could see how they would be, shining and golden, when Arthur ascended the throne. Uther's time was passing. Magic had returned to Camelot.
"Good luck," she said.
And somehow, on the wind, in the voices of the birds around her, there was a voice. "You too, and thanks, really."
This she saw as Camelot finally passed from view: a spinning coin, bright like the sun. She smiled and spurred her horse, riding into destiny.
Author: suaine
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: love potion
Summary: A visiting princess has something special to give Arthur.
Notes: Thanks to the lovely wrennette for the superfast beta.
Not Ours to Command
The size of the feast to honor Princess Jocelyn indicated the importance of her offer to Uther; its lavishness made Merlin faintly sick just from watching. The courtiers brought out their finest silks, their most intricate jewelry. The cooks offered up the finest meats, and an abundance of out of season fruit. From what Merlin could see, Arthur seemed to enjoy himself immensely, but the same could not be said for the guest of honor.
Jocelyn had made a bid so outlandish, Arthur hadn't been able to shut up about it the night before, as Merlin readied him for bed. It had been impossible to tell if the prince had been flattered or shocked or even in what direction he leaned when it came to marrying the girl. Merlin had tugged a little more ferociously on the lacings of Arthur's night shirt, but hadn't allowed himself to speak.
Merlin knew the look in Jocelyn's eyes, saw it in the mirror often enough. She was keeping a secret and it terrified her. And yes, maybe Merlin was a little jealous. She was a nice girl. Her servants loved her. Gwen had had a chance to talk with her and found her nothing but charming, an angel and a true lady. Merlin rolled his eyes. Something about her just set him on edge.
"More wine, Merlin." Arthur didn't look at him. Merlin shook himself and leaned down to fill Arthur's cup. The wine hadn't been half-gone, a pretense then.
"What is it?" Merlin caught himself staring at Arthur's neck and looked away.
The muscles of Arthur's shoulder tensed under his hand, and Merlin wondered when he'd put his fingers there. He couldn't remember, touching Arthur had become automatic, a biological imperative. Which was well and good until the day Arthur realized what was going on and chopped Merlin's fingers off for their presumption.
"Keep an eye on the princess, would you? Something about this doesn't feel right," Arthur said.
Merlin snorted. There were times when he agreed with Arthur and there were times when he just had to say something, anything, to hide that fact. "Oh, do you mean the part where she prostitutes herself so her father can sell his fealty to Uther at the highest price or the part where she is fifteen and looks like she might pass out from fear every time you look at her?"
He was still touching Arthur and at his words Arthur's shoulder bunched impossibly tighter. "I mean the part where she keeps looking for the guards as if they might jump out at her any moment."
Merlin glanced back at the princess, but the girl was no longer seated next to Morgana. She was walking toward them, a troubled look in her eyes.
"Heads up," Merlin said and stepped back into the shadows, almost like a respectable servant.
Jocelyn curtseyed just enough to pay respect to tradition, not enough to convey any kind of submissiveness on her part. Merlin grinned, anyone who took Arthur's ego down a notch could not be so bad. Her face was the perfect mask of a smile.
"Prince Arthur," she said, her voice a perfect modulation between demure and enticing. "My father has sent me with more than just promises and empty words."
Arthur swallowed, Merlin could tell he was uncomfortable from the set of his back, the way he leaned away from Jocelyn without moving at all. "I need nothing more than what your father has already offered us. The land we gain from this alliance will help bring a lasting peace to the region."
Jocelyn twitched, and Merlin grew suspicious. All of her strange behavior seemed to culminate here, in this moment, and court etiquette bound Arthur's hands. Of course, such a thing as etiquette had yet to stop Merlin from doing something stupid.
"I hear there is a bet on tomorrow's hunt," she said, her left hand coming to rest on Arthur's right as if it belonged. She fished something out of her gown, a glittering vial on a gold chain, beautifully crafted and doubtlessly deadly.
"What-" Arthur seemed locked into this conversation, with no way to escape.
"This is a concoction our physician has developed. It heightens the senses and boosts... performance." The flirtatious edge to her voice made Merlin want to retch.
The situation was fraught with tension, and Merlin remembered a similar moment, with a goblet in his hand and dozens of swords about to clash. He knew what he had to do.
"Let me taste it," Merlin said to Arthur, his eyes on the princess. Jocelyn's expression turned to stone and there was fear behind it.
"No, Merlin," Arthur said, "no one is going to taste anything."
Jocelyn shivered. With rage, perhaps, or fear, but her voice had an edge of haughty superiority. "You would refuse a gift from my father, the king? Is that how little this treaty means to Camelot?"
Of course, her voice had risen to be heard above the din of cutlery and conversation. "Is that how my kingdom is to be treated in this alliance?" Every eye in the hall was on Jocelyn and Arthur. Including Uther's.
Merlin took the vial out of her grasp. It felt warm and powerful in his hand. Magic. "There have been attempts on the prince's life, my lady. Let me just-"
"No," she said, her eyes wide with shock, but Merlin didn't wait. He let a few drops drip onto his tongue and the magic entered his system. It spread through him, twined with his own, and slowly soaked into his blood. He couldn't find any fault with the potion. It seemed perfectly harmless, doing exactly what she said. He felt more awake, more aware.
Jocelyn still had one hand outstretched, and as the court watched, she relaxed. Her face was ashen though. "Well?"
Merlin shrugged and handed the vial to Arthur. "Feels fine. It's not poison."
She laughed and the sound had something of shattered glass. "Of course it's not poison."
Arthur snatched the vial from Merlin with a dark look. They would have words about this, his expression promised. "Give me that," Arthur said, and put the vial to his mouth. Merlin couldn't help staring at the way his lips closed around the tube, the way his adam's apple rose as he swallowed.
Arthur pressed the empty vial into Jocelyn's hand. "An interesting potion. Thank your father for me when you return."
Jocelyn stood rooted to the ground, her eyes still on Arthur as if he had grown a second head. "I... I will, my lord."
Arthur looked back at Merlin.
The air seemed to be gone from the hall, because Merlin could not catch a breath.
"Father," Arthur said, his eyes not leaving Merlin's for a second. "I think I shall turn in early, the hunting party rides out at dawn and I would not wish to miss it."
Uther made an agreeable noise, sounding like wine and good cheer. Merlin couldn't spare the time to check his expression. He felt glued to the prince's gaze.
"Merlin," Arthur said. His name. It sounded like pornography.
He could only nod.
They left the hall without another word, Merlin one step behind. Arthur balanced his stride perfectly, fast enough but not so fast as to appear eager. As the doors closed behind them, Arthur took hold of his arm and Merlin whimpered. Arthur pulled him into the next corridor to the right and pushed him against the wall.
"What's going on?" Arthur spoke into his ear, far too close for Merlin to concentrate on the words. This was. This.
"I..." Merlin tried to collect his thoughts, tried to force some sort of order on his feverish mind. His fingers caught in Arthur's hair and on his belt. Pulling him close. "I have no idea."
"This is magic," Arthur said, sounding strangled as he kissed Merlin's neck. The touch of his lips sent fire down Merlin's spine.
He bit Arthur's ear, drawing a growl from him that went straight to his cock. "I don't think she- god, do that again." Arthur licked the hollow of his throat. "Uhm, I really- really don't think she meant to do this."
Merlin's tongue darted out to taste the corner of Arthur's mouth. His hands had migrated to Arthur's ass, gripping the flesh so tight it had to hurt. Their hips came together and Merlin gasped.
"Aren't you," Arthur breathed out, just before crushing their mouths together in a brutal, suffocating kiss. He drew back only enough to speak, to breathe, foreheads touching and lips ghosting over each other. "Aren't you supposed to protect me from this kind of magic?"
Merlin kissed Arthur, exploring his mouth to give himself time to think of an answer. Arthur's hands, however, seemed to have a different agenda. In seconds their breeches were unlaced and Arthur enveloped them both. His thumb flicked over the head of Merlin's cock and all rational thought abandoned him.
"Arthur," Merlin said into the kiss.
"Hm."
"Please."
He'd be embarrassed about how needy he sounded, if Arthur's little gasp didn't have that exact same quality. "Are you sure?" Arthur's question sounded pained, and the restraint it took him to stop moving made the veins on his neck stand out.
Merlin almost bit his tongue trying to keep it from snaking out. "Could you stop if I said no?"
Arthur's eyes met Merlin's and the need surged up like something alive, something bright and hot and dangerous. But in that look was Arthur's heart, too, and his honor. "You know I'd try."
Merlin arched against Arthur, the words sending white, electric pleasure through his body. "Fuck me."
It set something loose in Arthur, something primal. He pressed Merlin back into the wall and his let hand found its way to Merlin's backside, where the pleasure turned edgy, uncomfortable. Merlin whispered a few words and Arthur's fingers were slick with oil, a fragrant remedy for muscle aches.
"That comes in handy," Arthur gasped between hard, desperate kisses.
Merlin laughed, thready and a little broken. "Yeah, well, I figure this is going to happen either way, might as well make it less painful."
Arthur stilled, again, a look of anguish in his eyes as he bit down on the flesh of his cheek to counter the urge. "Merlin, I can't-"
That was quite enough. Arthur wasn't the only one who needed the release, who felt compelled to be as close as possible, who hungered. "If you don't do it, I will."
Arthur shuddered, but his eyes cleared. "You," Arthur said, pressing a small kiss to the corner of Merlin's mouth, "would like that, wouldn't you?"
Merlin, his ankle hooked around Arthur's leg, splayed open as much as possible considering he was propped against a wall, raised an eyebrow. "I would like to do a lot of things to you."
Arthur's fingers worked relentlessly. "Tell me, how long have you had these traitorous thoughts?"
Merlin whimpered, just a little. "Maybe, uhm, the day we had that fight. You hold a broom rather fetchingly."
Arthur groaned, pushing inside. It felt. It felt a little like being ripped into pieces, like being put back together. "Merlin."
Merlin kissed Arthur's mouth, his neck, his cheeks. He got slammed into the wall, and those bruises would be nasty tomorrow, but right then all that mattered was movement. "C'mon Arthur, you can do better." He cupped Arthur's face and pressed their mouths together, until Arthur opened himself up and Merlin took it all. He thrust his tongue into Arthur's mouth, mirroring their rhythm.
"C'mon," Merlin said, "c'mon. Faster, Arthur."
Arthur changed his angle and suddenly every thrust made stars explode behind Merlin's eyes. He tried to hold on, but this was too much, too good, and he fell apart. "Arthur."
The sound of Arthur's voice, almost chanting his name, over and over, set every one of Merlin's nerves on fire. His skin felt too small for his body, for this, and he burst outward, power and magic soaking through both of them.
"Merlin," Arthur choked out. One more thrust and the tension in Arthur broke, and suddenly all that held them up was magic.
They stayed like that for a while, until Merlin's leg began to cramp and the intrusion in his body was less pleasure and more discomfort and a draft cooled their sweat and made them shiver. Merlin released the magic and Arthur sagged against him, then pulled away, not looking at Merlin.
"So."
Arthur ran a hand through his hair. Merlin recognized the gesture as a sign that Arthur was this close to losing his princely composure. "Next time, how about a bed?"
Anger made Arthur look at him. "There isn't going to be a-" But then something took hold of Arthur, and Merlin could feel it, too. The surge of magic. Apparently, it wasn't the kind of spell or drug that left the system upon completion. Arthur looked away again, keeping a very careful distance between him and Merlin. He looked. Well, he looked fucked, which was ironic enough to make Merlin want to laugh.
"You really have no idea," Merlin said, grinning now, "of the things you do to me. The things you say. Undress me, Merlin. Polish my sword, Merlin. Kneel down and clean that up while I watch your bum, Merlin."
Arthur snorted. "I don't sound like that." Merlin noticed that he didn't exactly deny saying these things though.
"Why don't we just get you to your chambers and try to work things out there, not in a drafty corridor?"
Arthur nodded. They made nice progress without touching once, corridors and stairs and they even passed little alcoves and didn't stop to take advantage, even as the need began to rise again. Every second thought of Merlin's seemed to relate to Arthur. Arthur's skin, the belt on his hips, the curve of his backside. Fear of discovery was all that prevented Merlin from stopping Arthur with magic and pulling him to the cold, hard ground.
"Stop staring at me," Arthur said with not so much as a glance in Merlin's direction.
"I'm not."
A small, strangled laugh. "Oh, you are. I can feel your eyes all over me." Merlin couldn't guess if Arthur liked the sensation or not.
They reached Arthur's chambers more breathless than they had any right to be from just walking. Inside, Merlin pushed Arthur against the door and kissed him.
"This is better."
Merlin could only sigh in agreement, kissing Arthur, claiming him. Despite his best intentions, the kiss turned heated and his hands began to wander. Merlin pushed himself away and just breathed in and out until he could trust himself enough to speak.
"I think I did something," Merlin said, "to the potion. I think it reacted to my magic."
Arthur licked his lips, staring at Merlin's mouth. "You're probably right, strange as that is to say."
Merlin couldn't hold back any longer, he grabbed Arthur's head and crushed their mouths together, satisfying the need humming just beneath his skin. They stumbled toward the bed, Arthur leading by feel and memory, and it had to be a miracle that they didn't crash into any furniture. This time, Merlin wanted to feel more than just a hand, he wanted skin to lick and pinch and make his own.
Over the next five minutes he learned that it was indeed possible to get undressed while having his tongue almost down Arthur's throat. The magic, his own, fueled by the potion, probably helped with that but he hadn't made a conscious effort. Arthur seemed to approve, if his moans were any indication. He writhed underneath Merlin, almost insensible with the need to be closer.
It struck Merlin like a physical blow, this thing that had forced itself into this moment. Arthur had barely half a mind left to make decisions and Merlin had no power to stop this. Because he wanted, he wanted this so much, part of him had yearned for Arthur's touch since the moment they met.
He knelt over Arthur now, trying so hard to keep himself in check, just watching as the crown prince of Camelot offered his body and more to his servant. "Arthur."
Arthur's eyes were pressed closed and at once he grew still. "Merlin, I do hope you intend to do something soon, because I really might just die of waiting."
"I-" Merlin got lost, for a moment, staring at the stark and terrifying beauty of Arthur beneath him. He leaned down to kiss Arthur and he kept the potion and the need back, trapped them in some deep part of himself, and as their lips touched, for a single moment, it was just them. "What do you want, Arthur? I'd give you anything."
Arthur made an undignifed sound in the back of his throat that completely undid any resolve Merlin had to take this slow. In between bruising kisses, Arthur said: "You. Just you."
Merlin thought about tasting and licking and biting everywhere he could, but his mouth never strayed far from Arthur's and his fingers prepared Arthur almost of their own volition. He'd never thought he could have this and it felt strange to taint it all with that foreign magic, but at the core they were unchanged, just Merlin and Arthur, and they had waited long enough.
He couldn't remember why they'd ever thought this was a bad idea as he buried himself in Arthur, who was so tight and took it all with such abandon. He'd probably never felt this before and Merlin wanted to make it good. But he was holding on by a thread as it was. He had no finesse left for making it special, all he could do was make sure Arthur was there with him all the way.
"Arthur," Merlin said and it was all those words he never knew how to say.
His right hand slid along Arthur's cock, thumbing the tip. His other arm began to hurt from the weight of his upper body. Arthur shuddered under him and cried out, something unintelligible that sounded a bit like magic and a bit like Merlin, and his whole body convulsed. Merlin managed a few more strokes before he collapsed, spent and momentarily free of the magic.
Merlin wanted to move, maybe clean them up a bit, but Arthur slung his arm around Merlin's waist and didn't let him go. "Tomorrow," he said, "we can deal with all this tomorrow."
It was late and Merlin was exhausted inside and out. He didn't put up a fight.
+
Arthur was a light sleeper. He could, when the situation called for it, get a full night's rest and be completely awake within seconds at the merest hint of a sound. With Merlin in his bed and magic thrumming in his veins, it seemed he wouldn't get even that much rest.
It was near dawn, so he couldn't have been awake all night, but in the twilight hours it felt like forever. The fire inside him burned, raged against his stubborn refusal to wake Merlin for more sex.
"What have you gotten us into this time, Merlin?" His voice sounded oddly subdued to his own ears. Maybe he was coming down with something.
Or maybe he felt like a thug for taking his pleasure from Merlin in a corridor where anyone could have seen them. Were anyone could have noticed Merlin's magic. It would have been hard to explain the strange glow of Merlin's eyes as moonlight, especially since there had been no windows.
Not for the first time, he wondered how Merlin was still alive. He was covered in magic, soaked through with it, sometimes it seemed impossible not to be blinded by its intensity. But no one ever noticed. For all the times Merlin had done magic right in front of him, he'd never known until Merlin had that ridiculous cold. Every sneeze had turned Arthur's favorite clothes a different color.
"I can feel you watching," Merlin said, smacking his lips. Arthur couldn't help himself, the annoying habit almost felt endearing. He kissed Merlin, just a ghost of a touch, maybe to stop them from making that infernal noise.
No. This was all Arthur's completely unsuitable romantic streak coming out. He tried to force it back down before he said something stupid and sappy.
"Go back to sleep."
Merlin smiled and it made something in Arthur's insides flip. Oh fuck. He really was doomed. "In a minute, just let me-"
Merlin began to stroke Arthur in such a leisurely, undirected way, it felt a little like torture and a lot like he was somehow Merlin's pet. While that thought would normally outrage him and require recompense in the form of certain services, here at the edge of a new day, with Merlin curled into him like a cat, Arthur really couldn't find the energy. Pleasure built slowly inside him, a meandering spring more than the torrent of earlier that night. If either of them were indeed cats, Arthur was sure there would be purring.
It took ages to get to the threshold, every nerve-ending on fire by the time Merlin brought him off, but the softness of it felt right. In some ways, it was deliverance, a cleansing of last night's taint even though he could still feel the tug of the magic inside.
"Arthur," Merlin said into his ear, "I-"
He paused and Arthur could hear the unsaid things between them. He pulled Merlin a little closer. "Yeah, me too."
His climax came as a bit of an afterthought, and Merlin dropped away into sleep only seconds later, drooling where he lay on Arthur's chest. It should have been deeply annoying, and in the morning he would make sure Merlin was properly embarrassed about it. But at the moment, he was a bit too content to do anything at all. Bloody potion.
The most ludicrous thing about Merlin, if anyone were ever to ask Arthur on this subject, was the way Arthur felt about him. On his own, Merlin was merely a vaguely incompetent manservant, a scarily inept-at-hiding sorcerer, and a guy with too sharp cheekbones and too large ears. Without Arthur, Merlin would be unemployed, dead, and sex-less. It all came down to the inexplicable fact that Arthur couldn't imagine a future that didn't have Merlin in it.
He'd gone sleepless over that several times. If he could slap himself on the back of the head and not look like a simple fool, Arthur thought he would have done so every day since meeting Merlin.
An hour before daybreak, Arthur woke Merlin for the hunt. By the time he could catch his breath again, he was glad he'd figured in a half hour to spare for Merlin's general incompetence. Turned out, when Merlin was properly motivated, he was as capable with his chores as any well-trained member of the house hold.
Being a sorcerer also helped. A little.
The party waited for him, of course. Arthur could have been two hours late and the few courtiers who'd agreed to go out with them would have stood in their inappropriate leathers and their colorful cloaks, freezing in the morning winds, and not said a disparaging word. It was good to be crown prince.
"Where is the princess?" Arthur had a word or two for that one. Performance boosting potion indeed.
Women didn't usually go hunting, even on these more ceremonial outings. There had been a few occasions for which the whole court had relocated to the outdoors, dresses, feathers and tents included, but those Arthur would never deign to call hunts. Morgana rode out with them when she could, which was far less often than she would have liked, and of course, she wouldn't have missed this one. Her smirk gave Arthur a headache.
"Long night?"
Arthur ignored her in favor of Princess Jocelyn, who looked somewhat boyish in her sensible outfit. There were no lace trimmings or superfluous pieces of fur on her clothes. Take that, Morgana!
"My lady," he said, taking her hand. Behind him, Merlin twitched.
For all that she had looked like a rabbit in the crosshair last night, she appeared more terrified now. "Prince Arthur." She curtseyed, her eyes downcast. He wasn't having any of that.
"I would be honored if you would ride with me today. There are some things I would like to discuss with you."
Like the magical aphrodisiac. The princess nodded, a jerky movement that made him feel a little sick. It wasn't like he wanted to get her alone in the woods to murder her-
Oh. Well.
"My manservant will be accompanying us." He indicated Merlin, who was busy glaring daggers at her back. Oh, how Arthur wished a simple gesture could make him stop. His life would be so much easier if his servant wasn't such an imbecile.
The woods around Camelot had a well-tended feel to them. Very little underbrush, which was always a good thing if there were courtiers around. They split into small groups and Arthur set the goal for the day. The first group to kill a rabbit, a buck and a boar would gain a place of honor at the head table during the feast, which came, of course, with the ear of the King. It was the only reason young and spoiled nobles like Lord Jason ever joined these events.
Arthur had no interest in competing today.
The only problem with that was Jocelyn. After an hour in Arthur's company that mostly consisted of small talk - they were still too close to the other groups, too easily overheard - she huffed at him and grabbed her gear, stalking into the forest. She was quite good with a crossbow, her aim was impeccable.
"Nice shot," Merlin said, a dead rabbit at his feet. Arthur rolled his eyes and looked around for a proper target. Something with tusks, or antlers. Even Merlin had, at times, been able to shoot a rabbit.
"Take that with you, will you Merlin?"
It wasn't fair, anyway, what with the handicap on Arthur. How was he supposed to concentrate on tracks and flashes in the green when Merlin was right behind him, smiling and breathing, even? It was distracting.
They'd avoided eye contact for most of the day and that helped, but the buzz never quite went away. He could always tell where Merlin was, and his mind made up all the things Merlin could be doing. Every once in a while, he had to push Merlin against a tree or die of frustration.
"Mhm," Merlin said on those occasions.
Arthur, too busy with his tongue in Merlin's mouth, didn't say anything. They hadn't really talked about this. He was reasonably sure that Merlin was more than willing, after the events of the night he couldn't not be. The potion wasn't that powerful. It wasn't.
It was Jocelyn who finally broke the subject.
"You are very lucky to have a man like Merlin at your side. He's very devoted." She poked the little campfire they'd made with a big stick. "It's not every servant who will drink poison for you."
Arthur glanced at Merlin, who seemed to be caught somewhere between pride and embarrassment. "Yeah, he does that. I've been trying to teach him not to throw himself into danger, but he's as stubborn as they come."
Merlin threw an acorn at him. "I'm right here, you know."
Jocelyn did not seem fazed by the exchange. "I should thank you. Both of you."
"I'd rather have an explanation why you thought it a prudent idea to give the crown prince of Camelot a magical elixier. In full view of the court, I might add."
Jocelyn didn't look fifteen when she answered, her manner was for older, far more hollow, and something in Arthur twisted uncomfortably. "My father didn't expect my return unless it was as your wife. As his second daughter, I am worth nothing except as an incentive to sweeten certain deals."
Arthur swallowed, his throat dry. Merlin had somehow crept close enough to put a had on his shoulder. Making what he hoped was an encouraging gesture, Arthur kept still, waiting.
"I was to marry you at all cost, but I could not. Look at me, I'm fifteen years old. I want to- no, I need to be my own person, before I become some Lord's accessory. So I went to an old witch, a friend of my grandmother's."
"And you got the potion," Merlin said, once again out of turn, out of any kind of boundary.
Jocelyn smiled at Merlin. The warm look made Arthur want to kill something. "I got the potion. It was not meant to, well, it was certainly not meant to be imbibed by two people, especially one like you..." She gestured at Merlin and Arthur wanted to push him out of sight. Mine. He paled at the thought.
"What was it supposed to do?"
She shrugged. "It induces ardour, you would not have been able to stop yourself. Because the two of you drank only half each, the effect was less severe."
For a moment, Arthur didn't know what to do with the information. He thought of Merlin in that corridor, wide open, a feast for him to devour. Ardour indeed. Could he have stopped?
"You-" It was Merlin's thumb on his neck that kept him from jumping up and charging her, girl or not. "You would have made me attack someone."
Jocelyn's eyes were impossibly wide. "There were guards, they would have stopped you."
"You stood right there."
"Of course I did." She shook her head. "How else would I have gotten away with any of it? Your father would have had me seized and executed if he thought me responsible."
Arthur felt a nasty headache coming on that even Merlin's fingers couldn't dispel. "You wanted me to attack you, violate you. In full view of the court. Just to get out of a marriage that I would never have consented to in the first place."
"I- I had to do something."
Arthur sighed. "You could have talked to me."
There were tears in her eyes. Arthur kind of hated himself, just a little, for putting her in this position. "You are your father's son, Arthur Pendragon. In a choice between duty to your king, to Camelot, and helping a stupid girl, what would you have done?"
He thought of Mordred and Morgana. He thought of Merlin, scared and proud, showing off his magic for the first time, in the privacy of his chambers. "I would have done the right thing. I'm not a monster."
"How many witches die in a year under your father's eyes? You protect one, and a hundred go unnoticed. I couldn't take that chance."
She stood up, then, and shouldered her crossbow. He'd seen renditions of Athena that wouldn't have done her justice. "Thank you for your silence, Arthur. And thanks for this. I've always wanted to go on a hunt."
Arthur frowned as she walked away. Something about er last words- "Wait a minute. What do you mean you've always wanted to go hunting?"
They won the competition despite themselves. Arthur almost got run through by the boar they stumbled over as he dragged Merlin deeper into the woods for a little more than a kiss. And Jocelyn returned bloody, grinning, with the news that she'd felled a buck the size of a pony.
"Can't you-" Jocelyn said and gestured between Merlin and the darker forest, where her prize - no doubt a small, sickly thing - lay waiting.
Arthur forbade it, of course. To hide not one, but two people who had some proclivity with magic was one thing, to entertain their magical whims when they could bloody well drag the thing by hand was quite another.
"So," Merlin said, just before they broke through the bushes into the clearing marked as the meeting point, "When does that potion wear off anyway?" In hindsight, Arthur should have asked that earlier, but- he'd had a suspicion or two of his own.
Jocelyn almost collapsed with laughter. "What? You- what? I can't believe you-"
It all clicked into place then. "We're not under the spell anymore."
Merlin's baffled face made Arthur want to hit him. It also made Arthur want to kiss him, which was by far the more problematic concept. And, if he was right, completely natural. "But I felt it! There was magic in that potion."
"Some small magic, yes, but mostly pumpkin and sea-weed, several herbs I can't pronounce, if it weren't for the magic of the vial there wouldn't have been anything to feel, I suppose."
Arthur wanted to hit something, his post-hunt equilibrium in danger of disintegrating. "How long did it last?"
Jocelyn looked suitably chagrined, but there was something like a smile playing around her mouth still. "It acts fast, spikes the blood. Initially, there is a terrible urge, but it passes within minutes."
So that was that.
Arthur spent the rest of the day ordering Merlin around, calling him useless and stupid and horrible to look at, because the truth was much worse than Merlin's little frown and his eyes flashing angry gold. Okay, so nothing was worse than Merlin's eyes flashing angry gold in sight of the most conniving, backstabbing courtiers Camelot had to offer, which made Arthur tug him back into the shadow of an oak by the neck scarf.
"Don't be stupid," Arthur said, maybe a little scared because breaking in another manservant would be hard work and-
"Don't be an ass, then."
Merlin kissed him, and the touch still felt like fire and ice running through him, breaking him open. Not magic, just them. A horrible suspicion began to dawn on him.
"I think," Arthur said between kisses, in the dark coolness of the forest, voices just out of reach to understand them properly. "I think I might possibly kind of like you."
Merlin's eyes went wide, and he breathed out this small "oh" and kissed Arthur like it was the first time.
+
Jocelyn left Camelot with a signed treaty and her head still on her shoulders. She felt almost free, almost like possibility was hers for the taking, and it had to be the first time in her life. She couldn't remember anything other than the heavy weight of fear and expectation on her shoulders.
She'd come worrying that the marriage bed would be her funeral pyre. Her duty to her king and father had been as undeniable as her inherent magic.
She waved at the two figures on the battlements of Camelot and she could see how they would be, shining and golden, when Arthur ascended the throne. Uther's time was passing. Magic had returned to Camelot.
"Good luck," she said.
And somehow, on the wind, in the voices of the birds around her, there was a voice. "You too, and thanks, really."
This she saw as Camelot finally passed from view: a spinning coin, bright like the sun. She smiled and spurred her horse, riding into destiny.