Title: Age of Audacity
Author:
suaineRating: R
Pairing: Morgana/Gwen
Summary: It would be an age of change, an age to remember. Together they would make legends.
Notes: This is a gift, crafted for my brother, who is as fannish as a lump of wood, but who loves Merlin despite himself.
For my brother, who is the most brilliant lovable asshole I will ever know.
Age of Audacity
Sixteen
The lace was finely crafted and barely tickled her skin. The knots of the weave were so fine, they had the appearance of spider silk spun into an intricate web. Small, pure diamonds spotted the web like dew in the morning, glittering from some kind of inner light, almost magical. A robe of fine, dark red silk, clinging to her as a second skin.
Morgana could barely breathe.
Her coming of age ceremony had the air of death about it. Earlier she had searched her rooms, frantic, for all her breeches and leathers had gone, replaced by silks and dresses so fragile and restrictive, they would mean certain death in a fight. Arthur hadn't been allowed into her rooms and she so wished to talk to him, to have an ear for her complaints and desperation.
This Arthur, though, who looked at her as if she were a girl, was a different and unexpected animal. Her friend, too, had been replaced like her play clothes, and this one was no kind of compensation. He blushed at her glance and angered at her fibs, where once he would have grinned. It hurt like a dagger to the belly and it took all her training not to burst into tears.
“And thus I present to you, the Lady Morgana,” the king's words fell onto her, putting a new weight on her shoulders, unexpected and uncomfortable. She wasn't ready and she wanted to say so, but the words that came followed the script to the letter.
“Thank you, sire. I pledge myself to you and to Camelot, to act in the best interest of the kingdom.” There was a new power here, something she could feel on her skin from the gazes upon her, something that was as much a weapon as the small dagger she had refused to leave in her rooms.
The crowd erupted into cheers as Uther placed a small diadem onto her head. Not the symbol of kingship, not the crown of the kingdom, that was Arthur's due, but a crown nonetheless. It felt heavier than it should, but at the same time it felt right. If this was to be her new place and her new power, than she would make the best of it.
+
The soft knock surprised Morgana as she sat in front of her mirror, poking at the diadem, unable to quite take it off just yet. Her image looked unfamiliar and yet the same, like a book turned upside down.
“My Lady?”
She turned to find a girl at her door, eyes cast to the ground, hands in a knot in front of her. Morgana couldn't help but smile, because she recognized her despite the strange dress and the shyness.
“Gwen!”
Gwen looked up. As much as Morgana had changed, she was still the same person, and she remembered teasing Gwen and playing at the forge with Arthur and the other boys. There were rules in Camelot and no servant would admit to being friendly with their master, of having known them at anything than their best. Gwen looked lost now, as if she had no idea how to proceed with such a greeting, such familiarity.
Morgana sighed and crossed the space between them. “I am no different today than I was yesterday. All this,” she gestured at her dress, “that's just glamour.”
Gwen hid her smile by ducking her head, but Morgana had caught the flash and held onto it. “Please,” she said, taking Gwen's hands. She paused until Gwen found the courage to look into Morgana's eyes. “Please.” Her voice went soft, as gentle as she could make it. “In these rooms you may be as honest as you wish, as much of an equal as you desire.”
Morgana took a step back, gesturing for Gwen to come into the room proper. “So you're a maid now?” Morgana felt suddenly awkward, as if her new power had begun to wear off. Gwen's presence stirred something in her she had no name for. “I always thought you would become a blacksmith, like your father.”
Gwen gasped, as if doing something she loved would be the most outrageous thing in the world. “I couldn't, you know that. It's not. It's-”
Morgana took pity on the girl, who had so clearly been thrown for a loop by the off-hand remark. “You are a girl,” Morgana said, sharper than she had intended, “and girls are either maids or midwives. Cooks, when they are uncomely. Gwen.” Morgana pleaded, begged almost, to be understood. She couldn't bear for her new burdens to be the most heavy here, in her private rooms, between her and the woman who would have to share it all. “Understand this. Women, such as we are, can do anything the men can do, we are no worse for having been born under the morning star.”
Gwen shook her head, in astonishment or disagreement, Morgana couldn't tell. “I am only here to serve you, my lady.” The tremor in her voice gave her away. And Morgana smiled.
“Oh Gwen,” she said, and crushed the girl in a hug.
Twenty-Three
Morgana insisted.
“You'll stay here, of course. I would not have you return to that empty house. Not tonight.” Not any night, if she had anything to say about it, which wasn't as much as she would have liked. Gwen was her own person, and tonight that rankled, for she would not let Morgana take care of her.
“Really, I'm fine,” Gwen said, her voice on the verge of breaking. Right. Perhaps Morgana had a different definition of fine.
“Nonsense,” she said, “You're staying and that is final."
"Is that all, then?" Gwen's eyes were downcast and her hands seemed to shake despite her best intentions.
All her anger against Uther and all her impotency came crashing down on Morgana, and she reached out to take Gwen's wrist. Gwen looked up and something in her eyes made Morgana pull her close, hug her tight, wanting never to let go again.
"I am so sorry," Morgana said.
Gwen pushed her away, with a gentle but firm press of her hand against Morgana's breast. "Don't feel sorry for me. Please. Enough pain has come from this already, if you-"
"Shh." Morgana silenced Gwen with a finger to her lips. "Let me take care of you, for once. Just tonight."
Gwen looked into her eyes, all that strength and affection there, all that pain. Morgana had to look away. She focused instead on Gwen's mouth, the flick of her gaze not unnoticed. Gwen's tongue darted out to wet her lips. A fire began to spread in Morgana's belly, pushing away the red hot anger in her heart.
"I want you," she said, taking a step closer once more, crushing their joined hands between their bodies.
Gwen blushed, a small, private smile on her beautiful face. Morgana had to kiss her, it felt like gravity. Their lips met and Morgana licked at Gwen's mouth, demanding entrance. Gwen smiled and the kiss deepened. Morgana explored her mouth, her hands rubbing slow, sensuous circles across Gwen's back.
"Please," Morgana whispered, breaking the kiss only long enough to speak the word.
Gwen broke away, her face flushed and her breath coming fast and hard. "That was..." She waved a hand, at a loss for words. Morgana grinned and Gwen returned a grin of her own. She looked - ravished.
Heat spread through Morgana like a raging forest fire, consuming all but her love for this girl, this woman who had always stood by her. It was supposed to be about Gwen's needs tonight, about making her forget the tragedy of her father's death. For once, Morgana wanted to do something for her, and yet-
"Come to bed with me." It was a question, a hope, and she prayed that Gwen understood it was also something Morgana wanted to give her - the gift of knowing exactly how much she meant to Morgana.
Gwen, her hair in disarray and her dress slightly askew, looked gorgeous and fragile in the candle light. Morgana clenched her fists, stopping herself from reaching out again. This could not be forced.
Turning to the bed, Gwen looked over her shoulder at Morgana, shy and demure, like the innocent maidens of legend. A princess in her own right, someone men would go to war for - and Morgana would fight every single one of them.
"Morgana," Gwen said, and the sound of her name sent shivers down Morgana's spine. Gwen rarely addressed her as Morgana anymore. Her voice curled around Morgana's skin, soaked into her bones, and it felt like coming home.
Gwen dropped her dress and revealed an expanse of delicious skin. Morgana almost didn't dare touch, but her fingers found the slight indentation of Gwen's spine and followed, followed, until it dipped into the hollow between her cheeks.
There were goosebumps on Gwen's skin.
"Are you cold?" Morgana's voice sounded alien to her own ears, low and sultry, thick with want.
Gwen looked at her, eyes shining with the same fire Morgana felt inside. "No." The single word sent Morgana into a frenzy. She pushed Gwen onto the bed and into the soft pillows, spreading her out like a glorious feast.
"I want to-" Morgana wanted to make Gwen feel cherished, loved, and perhaps a little wicked. Suddenly, she had no idea what she was doing, this was Gwen! What if she made a mistake?
Gwen whispered her name, then, and her hand on Morgana's neck guided Morgana down, down, until they were breathing the same air. "I want you to do... everything."
Morgana crushed her mouth to Gwen's, moaning. Her fingers travelled down Gwen's side, teasing the ticklish spot at her hip. "There is something I want to show you," she said, breaking the kiss only to take a breath.
Gwen's hands, too, had found a purpose, exploring Morgana's back, mapping every inch of skin. Each soft touch sent jolts through Morgana's whole body. She broke free from Gwen's mouth and simply looked at her for a moment. Gwen smiled, something impish in her features, not replacing the innocence but adding to it, like a second layer of silk on a beautiful dress. Morgana dropped small kisses on Gwen's face, the corner of her mouth, chin, and finally her neck. She licked at the pulse point and Gwen broke into a high, bubbly laugh that made Morgana bury her face in the crook of Gwen's shoulder, shaking with laughter.
Gwen smelled like flour and nutmeg.
"You make me happy," Morgana said, not daring to look at Gwen. She couldn't bear to see the same deflection that Gwen usually wore like a cloak around her, never letting anyone get close. "You are the one thing that keeps me sane." She began to kiss her way down Gwen's chest. "You are the most beautiful woman in this castle, possibly the kingdom." She paid special attention to Gwen's nipples, taking them between her teeth. "Without you, my life is meaningless."
Gwen twitched, but kept in control still. Morgana wanted to see her thrash and twist with pleasure.
"I will make you come so hard you will see stars," Morgana promised, her voice thick as molasses, "you'll scream yourself hoarse on my name." And god, that image alone was enough to make pleasure curl in Morgana's lower body, and she twisted her legs for pressure.
Her tongue dipped into Gwen's belly button. "Tell me what you want."
Gwen grabbed hold of her hair, fingers curled tight across her scalp. "You. I want you."
Morgana grinned and ducked down, breathing in the heady scent of musk, all woman. She darted out her tongue and Gwen moaned, arching her back.
"No one's ever touched you here, have they? Just me. You're mine."
She didn't mean it to come out so possessive, so true, but she wanted Gwen to know. This, right here, was worth more than the kingdom. Morgana didn't look, didn't want to see what was on Gwen's face, so she sucked at the hot flesh and darted her tongue into Gwen's body.
It took only moments, Gwen arching underneath her, uttering increasingly filthy suggestions, until she finally shuddered and tensed under Morgana's touch. Morgana let her hands roam free, massaging Gwen lightly through the aftershocks.
The smile on Gwen's face was angelic. Morgana kissed her tenderly, almost afraid to break the spell of the moment.
"Sleep now," Morgana whispered into Gwen's skin.
As Gwen drifted off, Morgana wrapped the large blanket around them and drew Gwen into her arms.
Twenty-Seven
The coronation hadn't been nearly as bad. Morgana had been angry then and lashed out at everyone, snapping even at Gwen when she assured her that Arthur as King would bring a new era of fluffiness and light and bunnies.
Whatever.
She could bear the thought of Albion under Arthur.
But not.
Not Gwen!
She threw a vase at the wall. Gwen had agreed to marry Arthur and that alone would make Morgana livid, but giving her away? Truly, of all the horrible things Morgana had been made to do in the last couple of years, this one would break her. And yet.
And yet she would. She would do it for Gwen, because there was something more than possession, something more than need.
Love.
She loved Gwen and she would give her up if that was what Gwen wanted.
+
Gwen let the hammer fall on the bent metal with grace and a sort of natural magic. Her pieces of armour were lighter and stronger than even her father's and she had perfected the art of balancing a sword by folding it again and again over a period of several weeks.
One of those swords was with Arthur.
And one, the first, was with Morgana.
Morgana watched for a while, let herself be drawn into the motion and the heat, the anger seeping out of her like water from a sieve.
"You do know that I can see you, right?" Gwen's voice had no edge to it at all, it was open and simple, no hidden meanings or agendas.
Morgana began to suspect that she had misjudged Gwen's innocence. "I accept."
Gwen blinked, brushed a lock of sweaty hair out of her face. "You... accept." It took a moment for her to grasp the meaning, and when she did, her smile was brilliant and pierced Morgana's heart.
"I just want you to be happy."
Gwen shook her head, the smile still firmly on her lips. "Morgana, you are, in the words of our great and mighty King, a complete idiot."
Morgana frowned. "What?"
Gwen laughed, actually laughed! "I want you to stand with me when I marry Arthur, because you are the most important person in my life."
"I still fail to see-"
Dropping the hammer almost carelessly, Gwen walked to Morgana and took her hands. "Camelot needs an heir and Arthur is my friend. He trusts me. That is why we are going to marry."
Slowly it worked itself through Morgana's haze of rage and jealousy. "Oh."
Gwen kissed her on the mouth, both chaste and possessive. "Yes, oh. Now would you please let me get these gauntlets finished? I'm making a set of four pairs. For the ceremony."
Morgana understood. It would be a wedding, but it would be something else as well. A promise, four friends standing together, the foundation of a new, better Albion.
It would be an age of change, an age to remember. Together they would make legends.
- End -