I'm sorry but I love you.

Jan 27, 2015 20:21

Im sorry but i love you.
by Su_Mily

Description

When unexpected things happened and it makes everything fall apart.When you didn't mean to do something bad but you can't press the back button.Unfortunately,Yoochun was the victim of a situation.



(Yoochun's POV)

I woke up to the sound of loud drillings outside.I groaned and pulled my blanket up.I stretched my legs slightly,and it hit something.Another pair of legs.I smiled,knowing for sure it belonged to my beloved boyfriend,Junsu.I shifted nearer the sleeping body beside me.With my eyes still closed,i stretched my arm to wrap it on my boyfriend's waist.And it felt different.Yes,the body felt so different.My Junsu's waist is slimmer and his skin is much softer.But this,it felt much wider and not as soft.Slowly yet curiously,i opened my eyes to check.To my surprise,it wasn't Junsu.It was..

"Yu-yunho..?", i stuttered.Still shocked and confused as to why this friend of mine was there,sleeping naked beside me who's obviously naked as well.

Yunho groaned a little upon hearing his name and opened his eyes slightly.He smiled.
"Morning chun.." He said while still smiling.Wait,why is he smiling?
"Yunho..why are you here?" I asked,still trying to comprehend what the hell was happening.
"Me..?You're the one who dragged me in.Can't you remember?" He replied with a smirk.
"What do you mean by i dragged you in Yunho!?I never bring anyone to my bed except Junsu!"
"Oh really?Then tell me how i end up here naked then?Who ripped my shirt off and explain to me this mess on your bed". He said while getting up to get his now-ripped shirt on the floor.

"W-what happened?I can't remember." I asked while massaging my temple.My head was hurting so much.
"You can't remember or you don't want to remember Chun?We were both drunk last night.You told me to forget Jae and you'll make me feel better.Eventually you brought me here and you said you were needy and to forget our lovers for a night." He said while putting on his pants.I was trying so hard to process what Yunho just said,and it hit me finally.

"Wait..we were just drunk right?I would never betray Junsu.I only love him!" I said as a matter of fact.I really love my boyfriend.
"Too bad chun.You already betrayed him.And let me thank you for last night.It did felt good and thanks you too that i've forgotten about what Jae did to me". He said with a half-smile. "But anyway it seems that you regret it.Well then i'll leave now." He continued while he walked to the door.He stopped halfway and said, "Do your best in explaining to Junsu since he saw us last night", before shutting the door.
I was dumbfounded.I tried to remember about last night but it was hazy.I could only remember myself at a bar trying to cheer the heartbroken Yunho up with the drinks and..i don't recalled the rest.
"Junsu..."

(Junsu's POV)

I was at Junho's apartment,crying my eyeballs out.I locked myself in his guest room,refusing to go out.Junho had been calling me out to eat a few times but i simply ignored him.I felt bad for my brother but i can't help it.I was too sad and heartbroken.The memories of last night haunt me again.

[Flashback]
I just reached home from a long day at work.There was a lot to do because apparently my boss decided to move to a bigger office and i had to move all my design stuffs there.I was exhausted and all i want to do was sleep.But the moment i stepped into mine/Yoochun shared apartment,i could hear weird noises coming from my/Yoochun's room.My heart felt heavy suddenly but i gathered my courage and walked closer to the room.I stopped in front of the door.With the last strength i had,i turned the door knob and to my surprise,there my boyfriend was with his friend whom i knew too well,Yunho on the bed in the most intimate position ever.I was shocked.My eyes were already red and teary.Yoochun was busy kissing Yunho's neck and doesn't notice me there but Yunho did since he was facing the front.I could see a slight smirk on his face.I couldn't hold it anymore.I turned around and ran out of the apartment while crying my hearts out.

(Junsu's POV)

I grabbed the pillows and tossed them aside while still crying.I was so hurt,angry and disappointed with Yoochun.How could he do this to me?I'd always knew Yunho had feelings towards my boyfriend even when he was with Jae but i never thought Yoochun will return the feelings as well.I've always believed Yoochun only had his eyes on me.Eventually,i was wrong.

(Yoochun's POV)

It's been a week i didn't see Junsu.I miss him so much.Junho had prevented me from seeing Junsu for the time being.He blamed me for everything.I couldn't blame him.His brother was hurt because of me.But i just wanted to explain things.I mean,i didn't mean to hurt him.Earlier today,Junho came to my apartment again to pick more of Junsu's stuffs.He left me a note from Junsu.
"Let's break off."
I broke down after reading what it was written.
I drove off to my favorite bar.I need to drink.I need to be alone.I just wanna be alone.While sipping on the alcohol,a figure approached me on the side.
"Yoochun..?" the figure asked.
I looked up and saw a familiar beautiful man."Jae..?"
Jaejoong smiled in return and took a seat beside me.
"What are you doing here alone?Where's Junsu?" He asked while his eyes roamed around the bar.
"We broke off.And it's partly your fault." I answered bluntly.
"What do you mean by my fault?" He asked raising one of his eyebrow.
"Well..If you had not hurt Yunho,and if he wasn't depressed,he wouldn't have find me and went for a drink a got drunk and had sex!" I said almost raising my voice.
Jae look at me confused at first then laughed slightly making myself confused.
"He finally did it huh?" He said making me more confused.
"What d'you mean?"
"You know..Actually it was him who broke off with me.He told me he likes someone else but never said it was you though i already knew it was you all along.He had loved you even before i met him.But eventually you had Junsu and he dated me just for the sake of it.I guess he made a decision to follow what his heart told him to." Jae explained calmly and slowly it gets to my head.
"You mean..he planned this?"
"You can say that."
Now everything make sense.Yunho planned this.He tricked me and made me betrayed my love.I have to meet Junsu and explain this.
I drove off to Junho's apartment.Luckily i didn't drank that much and could still drive.When i reached Junho's apartment,the door wasn't locked and i peeked inside.There he was,my love Junsu,his brother Junho and an unknown man.They were chatting and laughing.Then Junho left to the kitchen leaving the other two who continued to chat happily.The unknown man then brush his fingers on Junsu's cheeks and i couldn't control it anymore.I stormed inside and punched the unknown man's face.
"Don't you dare touch my boyfriend!" I hissed while looking straight at the unknown man.
"Yahh!!Park Yoochun!What are you doing!?Changmin are you okay?" Junsu half-shouted while he move towards the Changmin guy and help him up.
Just then Junho returned from the kitchen and gasped when he saw the scene.
"Yahh!Yoochun!Didn't i told you not to come here and meet Junsu?And furthermore he'd broke up with you!What are you doing here and hurting my guest?" Junho said angrily.I could see the fire in his eyes.
I ignored Junho and grabbed Junsu's hand.
"Junsu~yah..Im sorry i need to explain to you." I pleaded.
Just then a sharp pain landed on my right cheek.Junsu had abruptantly slapped me.
"I don't need your fucking explanation Park Yoochun!Im hurt enough.Just get out and never come back!" Junsu hissed angrily,his tone were soft yet firm and his eyes were pool with tears.
I,who was still stunned by his action was just able to look down.Junho then grabbed my arm and pulled me out.
"Listen Yoochun..Changmin is a good guy.I want Junsu to be happy with him.So if you really love Junsu,let him go and have his happiness.You find yours too okay?" He said before closing the door shut right in front of my face.Tears rolled down my cheeks.Yes,Junho was right.I love Junsu,so i'll let him have his happiness.

I drove back home with my head spinning.Maybe due to the alcohol,or Junsu's slap or whatever happened earlier.But fortunately i made it home safely.I unlocked my front door and push it open,only to realize someone else was there sitting on my couch.It was my noona.I miss her so much!
"Yoochun~ah..why are you so late?Luckily i still have the keys you gave me before with me." she said smiling,while getting up and hugged me.I returned her hug and in a few seconds,i cried in her arms.She wasn't shocked.
"Noona...", i choked.
"Shhh..noona is here.Don't cry.." she said softly.It seems that she knew already.Junho must have told her since they were good friends.She embraced me tightly while i was still crying in her arms.I felt so safe and calmed.Noona have always been the one making me feel better when im down.
"Yoochun~ah..come with me to America." she said after we broke the hug.
"A-America..?" i asked, shocked.She nodded in response.
"Yup..the reason i flew here from America is to bring you back with me.Junho told me everything already.Chun~ ah,let's forget everything here and come with me.Im opening a cafe there and i'll need your help.You can start afresh there." she calmly said while wiping my tears and brushing my hair.
I went silent.I knew she meant well but she didn't know the real story.I didn't even know what Junho told her.But well,i just saved the hassle to explain.I just sighed and nodded.She smiled and hugged me again. Maybe i need this.Maybe i just need to leave.

(Junsu's POV)

It's been a few weeks since i dated Changmin.He's no doubt a really nice guy.I grew to like him though sometimes i still thought of Yoochun.No!I can't think of Yoochun.We've broken up and i love Changmin now.

(Yoochun's POV)
It's only in a matter of days till i left for America.I decided to do something before i go.I called up a few acquaintance and eventually found Changmin's number.I called him up and arranged for a meet up and i told him to keep it a secret.He agreed.

I met Changmin at a cafe.We ordered our drinks and sat opposite of each other.He seems really nice and mannered though.
"First of all,i apologize for punching you the other day." i said breaking the awkward silence between us.
"It's okay..i understand." he simply replied and smiled.
"But..what is it you wanna tell me about Yoochun~shi?" he asked while still looking calm.
"Its..i..well..i know you'll be good to Junsu but there's a few things i need to tell you about him before i can put my mind at ease." i said after much difficulties.
He looked at me while i continued. "You know,there's a few important things you need to know about him.Firstly,he's very sensitive.Try not to make him feel jealous.Always show him he meant everything to you.Secondly,he loves pancakes with strawberry saucer along with english breakfast tea.Make it for him every morning like its a routine.Thirdly,he hates it when you distract him while he's watching his favorite drama.He loves shopping and tends to buy a lot.Don't get mad at him and let him be.He loves forehead kisses..he love it too when you pinch his cheeks playfully.." by now,i was smiling to myself while saying all these that i almost forgot Changmin infront of me.
"Im sorry..i was too absorbed." i said after i snapped out of my trance.
"It's okay Yoochun~shi..it'll help me a lot." He replied with a smile again.
I took out a small notebook and passed it to Changmin.He took it willingly.
"Inside there's more..i wrote what i vaguely know."
"Thanks..i see that you care a lot about Junsu.."
I smiled.It's true i cared about him a lot.
"All the best Changmin.I hope you'll love and protect Junsu forever." i said and patted his shoulder.
"I will..don't worry..i heard you're going to America?Well all the best to you too." he replied and i simply nodded and smiled.

(Junsu's POV)

It's been weeks.I heard Yoochun had left to America with his noona.Well..i wonder what happened to him and Yunho.As for me,i just moved in with Changmin.I walked down the streets after buying some groceries and unexpectedly i bumped into someone familar.
"Jaejoong?", i said softly and the pretty guy nodded.
"Yup it's me.How are you Junsu?"
"I-i'm fine..how about you?" i asked back awkwardly.
"Well..im good.How's Yoochun and you?Have you guys talked it out?Well don't get mad at Yoochun too long.It wasn't entirely his fault.He was a victim too." he said which got me a bit confused.
"Hmm Jae..what do you mean he was a victim?He cheated on me with Yunho!Oh yes shouldn't you feel angry too?" I asked.
"Hmm well..it seems that Yoochun have yet to explain to you huh?Actually it's a long story but to make it short,Yunho planned all this.He tricked Yoochun to get on bed with him.I think you need to hear his explanation Junsu.I need to go now.Take care Su.." And with that,i was left dumbfounded.I walked back to Changmin's apartment while still trying to process what i just heard.

"Baby you're back!!Come sit down here i made you breakfast!" Changmin squealed the moment i entered the apartment.I brushed off the thought about Yoochun and focused on Changmin.I smiled and walked to the dining table.
"Sorry i woke up later than you.But i made your favorite breakfast to make it up to you!"
I laughed slightly at his cuteness and scanned the foods displayed on the table.It was indeed my favorite!Pancakes with strawberry saucer on top.Then i took the scent of the cup of hot tea and it's my favorite English breakfast tea!Oh god,it's been long since i had these.But wait..only Yoochun knew these were my favorite.How did..
A peck on my forehead distracted me from thinking further.Wait..this felt familiar.

Only Yoochun did that to me.I looked up to see Changmin grinning.He stopped grinning when he saw my troubled face.
"What's wrong?You don't like these?" He asked in a slightly disappointed tone.
"It's not that..it's just..what..how did you know i love pancakes with strawberry saucer and english breakfast tea?" i asked after a long thought.
"Hmm..well i guess i can't hide then.Yoochun told me so.." he replied hesitantly.
"Yoo-Yoochun?What else did he told you?" I asked curiously.
Changmin sighed before hesitantly taking out a small notebook and hand it to me.
"Here..he gave me these before he went to America."
I took it at once and flipped it open.I read all the things he wrote there.From the things i love to the things i hate to my bad habits.Everything were written so clearly and detailed.I could feel tears already forming in my eyes.I never knew Yoochun love me this much to the extend of giving me up for the sake of my happiness.I couldn't hold it anymore and i cried.
"Im sorry Min..I need to find Yoochun." i said which sounded more like a plea.
Changmin just nodded.He seems to know this gonna happen.I knew i hurt him but i can't do this anymore.I realized i still love Yoochun more than everything.I went to ask Junho of Yoochun's noona place details which he hesitantly gave me.I quickly booked my flight tickets and the next day,i was there.Im now right infront of Yoochun's noona cafe.I was so nervous.I peeked through the glass window and i could see Yoochun laughing and joking around with a girl.Have he gotten over me?Did he become straight again?I felt my heart broken again.

(Yoochun's POV)
It's been a few weeks since i came to America.Everything went well.Noona had successfully opened her Cafe.I was there to help her along with YuRin,my younger-cousin who grew up there.Just like any other day today,we were at the cafe again.There wasn't customers at this timing so the three of us just sat down and chatted.Noona had been urging me to find a girlfriend here.Yes,a girlfriend.Apparently,noona never approved of me being gay.But..Junsu was an exception.She had only approved of me being gay for Junsu.Well..anyway noona had to make some calls while me and YuRin continued to chat and joked around.We stopped when we heard the door bell ranged which signaled someone's coming in.
I stood up wanting to greet the customer but frozed when i saw the familiar figure at the door.
"J-Junsu..?"
"Hi!Welcome!!" YuRin greeted cheerfully and normally not knowing who was it."Oppa..you know him?"
She asked and i signaled her to go in to the back counter which she nodded and obeyed.I turned back my attention to Junsu.
"Junsu..what are you doing here?" i asked curiously.He looked so sad and i can't help but felt worried. "Did changmin hurt you?".He quickly shooked his head.
"He never hurt me.Im the one who hurt him.." He finally spoke.I could hear his voice trembling.
"What do you mean Su?What happened?" I asked again,more curious than ever.
He then walked towards me and without hesitation,hugged me tightly.I was shocked but hugged him back nevertheless.He was now sobbing and i pulled him closer.I stroked his back softly trying to calm him down.God..it's been a while.
"Yoochun~ah..i love you.I still love you..I know its not your fault..Im sorry for not trusting you..im an idiot!I should have knew how much you love me.Im sorry i did-n." I cut him off by kissing him.I pulled back and was greeted with his red face.I chuckled slightly and kissed him again.He wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me back.It was a soft sweet kiss.I pulled back again and kissed his forehead.I embraced him tightly.
"Now baby..let's forget everything..stay with me here for a few days and decide what we're gonna do later." i said and he quickly nodded.Aish!So cute!I pinched his cheeks playfully and he groaned slightly.I chuckled at the sight.
"Oh yah..is she your new girlfriend?" He asked suddenly with an irritated voice.
"Who?YuRin?" I asked and then i remembered my cousin.I smiled knowing it might be jealousy."YuRin ahh.Come out now.." i called her and she appeared right after.
YuRin eyed Junsu up and down then a wide smile appeared on her face.
"You must be Junsu oppa!Hi!! Im YuRin,Yoochun's cousin!Ahh you're so cute no wonder oppa loves you so much!" YuRin squealed happily. didn't know where she learned about my relationship with Junsu.Must be from Noona.Junsu was blushing hearing her comments and just chuckled in return.He must had felt relieved knowing YuRin is just a cousin.

(No one's POV)
Outside the cafe,Yoochun's noona was watching the whole scene through the glass window.She let out a sigh of relieved with a satisfied smile.

yoosu, fic:i'm sorry but i love you

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