I'm a sad girl..
I don't like this, not at all. I hate everyone leaving and going away, I hate being the one left behind, I hate it.
I am scared to death of college, making new friends, taking hard classes, what if I can't do it? What if nothing works out? I only got a 3 on my AP exam, which my mother had to call and bitch at them for.
I get to go with everyone tonight to say goodbye, but I don't want to. I would rather stay at home and pretend that everyone will be there tomorrow, but they won't. It all went to fast, high school, the summer, life. Everything, I'm not ready, I don't feel like I am old enough for all of this. It really just makes me want to cry. Losing everyone. I thank god I have Cory here with me, or I might freak out, because he is the only friend that I have left. The only one.
Does anyone else feel as crazy as I do? Or am I the only one trapped in this bewilderment? I really feel like everything is moving around me and I am standing still hoping that it all stops... Lets just all decided that on Wednesday we will go back to high school and take one more year saying goodbye. ONe more year to figure out our lives, I need it. The plan I have doesn't mean that it will all work, that it is what is right for me? HOw do I know what is right for me? I should know better then anyone else but I don't. If I am this upset about going to Wayne and living at home, then I probably wouldn't be able to handle living on my own at college, I would be too lonely. Too afraid, I don't know that I am cut out for the world. Not at all.
I am scared to death of college, making new friends, taking hard classes, what if I can't do it? What if nothing works out? I only got a 3 on my AP exam, which my mother had to call and bitch at them for.
I get to go with everyone tonight to say goodbye, but I don't want to. I would rather stay at home and pretend that everyone will be there tomorrow, but they won't. It all went to fast, high school, the summer, life. Everything, I'm not ready, I don't feel like I am old enough for all of this. It really just makes me want to cry. Losing everyone. I thank god I have Cory here with me, or I might freak out, because he is the only friend that I have left. The only one.
Does anyone else feel as crazy as I do? Or am I the only one trapped in this bewilderment? I really feel like everything is moving around me and I am standing still hoping that it all stops... Lets just all decided that on Wednesday we will go back to high school and take one more year saying goodbye. ONe more year to figure out our lives, I need it. The plan I have doesn't mean that it will all work, that it is what is right for me? HOw do I know what is right for me? I should know better then anyone else but I don't. If I am this upset about going to Wayne and living at home, then I probably wouldn't be able to handle living on my own at college, I would be too lonely. Too afraid, I don't know that I am cut out for the world. Not at all.