Completely Hypothetical
I am not at all sure why I am doing this.
1. Holly
2. Daniel
3. Remus Lupin
4. Kira (He may be the reincarnation of Lucifer, but he has excellent taste in literature)
5. Crowley Uriel*
6. Crowley (I have enough blackmail material that he'd never mention it to anyone ever. He also has very good wine.)
7. Pegasus
8. Psyche
9. Fay D. Flourite
10. John Adams
11. Carrot Ironfoundersson
12. James Norrington
13. Susan
14. John/Harvey
15. Cayce
16. Han Solo
17. Sirius
18. Setsuna
19. Rukia
20. James Potter
21. Rose
22. Fletcher
23. Sallah
24. Red
25. Envy
26. Doll
27. Boba Fett
(Despite the entirely hypothetical nature of this list in the first place, such that every single ranking is an impossibility, here begins the segment that is even more impossible than the rest of the impossibilities. No disrespect intended.)
28. Katou (See rationale behind #6 and note that blackmail material is mutual)
29. Mokuba
30. Skaffen-Amstikaw
31. Tas
32. Alice (Really now.)
33. Macavity (I mean really.)
34. Chesire Cat
35. Mickey Mouse
36. Calvin and Hobbes (Do keep in mind this is the impossibility section)
37. Delirium (If you knew what she was, you'd feel the same way.)
*Aziraphale, by that point, was feeling a bit guilty about the high concentration of demons and pagan gods in the top ten
1. Holly
2. Daniel
3. Remus Lupin
4. Kira (He may be the reincarnation of Lucifer, but he has excellent taste in literature)
5. Crowley Uriel*
6. Crowley (I have enough blackmail material that he'd never mention it to anyone ever. He also has very good wine.)
7. Pegasus
8. Psyche
9. Fay D. Flourite
10. John Adams
11. Carrot Ironfoundersson
12. James Norrington
13. Susan
14. John/Harvey
15. Cayce
16. Han Solo
17. Sirius
18. Setsuna
19. Rukia
20. James Potter
21. Rose
22. Fletcher
23. Sallah
24. Red
25. Envy
26. Doll
27. Boba Fett
(Despite the entirely hypothetical nature of this list in the first place, such that every single ranking is an impossibility, here begins the segment that is even more impossible than the rest of the impossibilities. No disrespect intended.)
28. Katou (See rationale behind #6 and note that blackmail material is mutual)
29. Mokuba
30. Skaffen-Amstikaw
31. Tas
32. Alice (Really now.)
33. Macavity (I mean really.)
34. Chesire Cat
35. Mickey Mouse
36. Calvin and Hobbes (Do keep in mind this is the impossibility section)
37. Delirium (If you knew what she was, you'd feel the same way.)
*Aziraphale, by that point, was feeling a bit guilty about the high concentration of demons and pagan gods in the top ten