Shinee fanfic: DOGs (Distribution of Gods)
Title: DOGs (Distribution of Gods)
Pairing: broken!Jongsica, Jongkey
Genre: Supernatural & angst
Rating: PG-13 (subject to change)
Summary: Dreams can quickly turn into a reality experienced in two worlds, at the same time.
Disclaimer: the guys belong to SM.
Length: 3/? approx. 3200 words
FEBRUARY 24TH 7:35PM
“Oh god that test just about killed me,” Jinki laughs bitterly, gingerly taking a sip of his Cappuccino. He winces at the still hot coffee, accidentally tipping the cup a bit, some of the scalding liquid falling onto his lap.
Though he doesn’t know what good it could do, Jonghyun offhandedly slides him a few napkins. “You’re good at math,” he says, lowering the music volume on his iPod, “it couldn’t have been that bad.”
“I mean, I hope I didn’t fail,” the older one manages after the fanning of his lap and the repeated whispering of ‘hot’ ceases.
“Relax, man. You didn’t, trust me,” Jonghyun smiles.
He gets one of those Jinki smiles - closed eyes, and all teeth - in return.
Jonghyun snickers, puts his iPod on shuffle. “It looks like you pissed yourself, though.”
Sputtering and red cheeks from embarrassment ensue. Jonghyun is laughing hard until soft hands are covering is eyes. “Hey,” is the feminine voice and his face falls into an easy smile.
He peels the hands from his face, wrapping a single arm around her waist and pulling her flush against his chest. She giggles.
Jinki’s face begins to resemble a beat. He points a questioning finger at Jonghyun, “What - you two?”
Jonghyun pulls back just enough to catch her lips in a gentle kiss.
“Okay, I get it!” Jinki’s hands frantically wave, as if warding them off, “You go out with Jessica!” Jinki tips back on his chair, catching himself before colliding with the ground. “Y-you two can stop now,” he whimpers.
FEBRUARY 27TH 4:34PM
“These two,” Jinki announces loudly, gesturing towards the couple holding hands near the front of the café, “are love struck love birds.”
From across the table Taemin snorts and crosses his arms. “Love struck love birds, really hyung?”
“Yes,” Jinki sighs.
Minho shakes his head.
They watch as Jonghyun pulls out a chair for Jessica, receiving a kiss on the cheek in return.
“Congratulations,” Minho says as Jonghyun takes a seat.
“You didn’t even tell us, hyung!” Taemin pouts.
Jinki presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. “And you guys should have at least told me before you started making out.”
“Hey, hey,” Jonghyun scratches the back of his neck, turning to a frowning Jessica, “no hard feelings, eh?”
MARCH 1st 3:12AM
Along with the grayscale that slowly drapes over the color of the world, Jonghyun’s stomach plummets to a familiar and hopeless depth.
“I won’t allow you to forget me so easily,” the loud whisper comes from all around, a gust picking up, wiping the scene of a distant city, the sky, and the scarcely planted trees from Jonghyun’s view. He wishes it would carry this sickening feeling rising in his throat, the fear that roots him in place, to another place. Completely away from him - somewhere unbelievably far away.
“Don’t ever think that you can,” that same voice echoes again, painfully reverberating off his eardrums, fueling the pace of Jonghyun’s fast-beating heart.
The wind starts again, swirling about red and black particles in the air some distance in front of Jonghyun. They harmlessly dance, the colors brilliantly intermixing before settling down in a messy pile on the rapidly whitening floor. In a flash, everything is colored a bright white, the black and red particles are gone, the world violently shaking in an up-and-down motion. He finds himself losing balance, tipping backwards, screwing his eyes shut at the immediate pang of pain in his upper back from the impact of his fall.
When Jonghyun opens his eyes after a shakily breathed swear, an expected whiteness is replaced with a pair of ruby red eyes calmly staring down at him. He opens his mouth to speak, make a noise, anything, but he’s struck silent and his lips remain parted.
There’s a snort. “That look isn’t quite befitting on you,” the eyes move back away from his face, revealing a rather familiar figure that moves to stand up straight. A fairly pale hand is stretched out to Jonghyun, the fingertips subtlety glowing.
Anger rises quick, the hand being slapped away in result. “I don’t need your help,” Jonghyun snorts back, sitting up to glare at the entity, proving his point.
“Is that so?” It takes a step back in return, more so to allow Jonghyun space than from fear.
“Yeah, so fuck you,” Jonghyun stands, hands dust white sparkles from his grungy jeans and sky blue t-shirt, “and leave me alone.”
The entity cocks its head slightly to the left. “Leave you alone,” it slowly repeats. And before the flare of anger that sparks in Jonghyun’s brain can reach his mouth to be expressed in words, a loud cackle of laughter forces silence upon him. “Leave you alone? Leave you alone!” It muses between chuckles. “I’m afraid I can’t-”
“You will!” Jonghyun shouts, intolerance for this… thing quickly growing unbearably high, rage seeping into his veins, “I don’t know who the hell you are,” his palms deliver a powerful push to each of its shoulders, “but you’re going to leave me the fuck alone!” His teeth grit together, eyes narrowing into a hardened glare. A split of fear cracks the bricks of rage pulsing through his veins at the stoic expression that remains unchanging on the entity’s face.
“Oh?” It passively drawls, a single eyebrow quirking.
That’s the breaking point.
Jonghyun’s fist guides itself towards its cheek. A repulsive crack rings throughout the whiteness as the entity stumbles backwards. Only after the echo ceases, do either of them unfreeze; Jonghyun’s fist twitching and returning to his side, the entity closing its eyes and slowly craning its neck to spit.
Jonghyun remains focused on the red spot that stains the virginity of this white world.
There’s something that resembles a giggle, the echo of footsteps. Soon Jonghyun can feel the heat radiating off its skin at the closed distance. His gaze slowly travel upwards (there’s a startling realization that it just happens to be wearing the same clothing as him), flickering between ruby eyes, a cheerless smile, and the entity’s quickly bruising cheek.
Where he’s preparing for a harsh punishment, it speaks. “How did it feel?” the question takes an extra few seconds to register in Jonghyun’s mind, “the feeling of rage. The act of delivering pain.”
Jonghyun shakes his head, roughly shoving the entity backwards again, the refusal to answer evident, “You might wanna fix your cheek.”
Red orbs flicker and its entire form disappears from Jonghyun’s line of vision. “Do you think that I cannot feel pain?” a voice suddenly sounds from behind him. It’s more of the incredulous, almost sad (instead of a furiousness he had been expecting) tone of the entity’s voice that causes Jonghyun to whip around and simply stare wide-eyed. At his lack of an answer, it leans in close, eyes seeming to awaken with something along the lines of curiosity, “That’s what it is, isn’t it? You’re shocked that I can feel anything, aren’t you?” A pondering look comes over its face, “I suppose that you actually don’t remember-“
“Fuck off,” Jonghyun’s hands fist in a shirt as equally blue as his own. “Don’t start with that again,” he contemplates pushing him away, but instead releases the fabric and settles for a scowl.
A chuckle escapes it, the warm breath cascading over Jonghyun’s cheeks and lips. A relatively small knife that he failed to notice before is held up to his face. The entity’s other hand comes palm up underneath the blade, forcing itself on the sharp edge. Fresh blood bubbles up around the cut, slowly running off the hand, red drops falling and staining the white floor. “As you wish,” another chuckle, “just don’t forget. Don’t ever forget.”
And just like that, it vanishes - leaving Jonghyun to stare at the freshly spilled drops of blood that remain on the whiteness.
MARCH 11TH 2:35PM
“It seems like you’re doing better, hyung,” Minho comments as the bell tied to the door of the café/restaurant rings, signaling the group’s entrance.
“Who, me?” Jonghyun turns around, gives the most confused-puppy expression possible. “Oh, well, I guess,” he shrugs at Minho’s nod.
“Yeah, yeah,” Taemin perks up, sitting down at their table, “you seemed out of it. But you’re okay now, right hyung?”
Jonghyun runs a single hand through brown and golden locks. “Sure, yeah, I’m okay,” he affirms and turns to Jinki, who just gives him a wide grin in return.
“Was trying to figure out how to ask Jessica out getting to you, hyung?” The youngest of the group pipes up again. He hisses his surprise when Minho elbows him between his ribs.
“I don’t know,” Jonghyun answers after a few seconds and scratches of his head. “It could have been.”
“Not getting enough sleep? Were you thinking about her all night?”
In the time it takes Jonghyun to register the question and get the first syllable of his answer out, Jinki is leaning halfway across the table, hand partially cover his mouth. “What’s wrong, Taemin?” he whispers, “Do you umm… like someone or something?”
“No!” He squawks indignantly, “it’s not even like that!”
Jonghyun glances away, trying to muffle his sniggers. A single crack of laughter comes from Minho but it’s passed off as a cough.
“Do you, you know, want a girlfriend?” Jinki’s face has genuine concern.
Taemin uses a hand to cover his eyes, slowly raking it down his face. “No, hyung,” he says, “I just wanted to know. This isn’t about me-”
“-It’s just hypothetical?” Minho smoothly chimes in, hint of a smirk painting his lips.
“Yeah, hypothetical! It’s all just hypothetical,” he immediately smiles and clings onto the word like a lifeline.
“Oh, well if something like that comes about,” Jinki pats Jonghyun on the shoulder, “don’t be like Jong here. Let us know.”
“Hey hey now, you keep ragging about me not telling you guys about my girlfriend. I think you’re jealous, man,” Jonghyun counters.
“He has a point, hyung,” Minho says.
“When’s the last time you had a girlfriend anyway?” Taemin adds.
“I, uh…”
Jonghyun accusingly points at him with his thumb, “See? He doesn’t even know!”
“He’s jealous!”
“No, I’m not!”
“It’s okay; we all want something we can hold, kiss, and love.”
“How about we get you a hookup tonight?”
“I don’t need-”
“Hello,” a waitress sashays over, interrupting them. “What will you gentlemen like today-?”
“-a girlfriend!” Jinki finishes rather loudly.
Silence settles over.
“Onew sangtae!” Jonghyun and Taemin start to sing together as Minho tells the waitress the usual drinks and snacks that everyone orders.
The singing abruptly stops as the waitress walks away, the bell to the door sounds, and Jinki gets up to hug and greet the young man that steps into the café.
Three pairs of eyes left at the table exchange curious and questioning glances.
“You don’t wanna hang out with these guys,” the trio overhears Jinki explain to the newcomer. “They’re jerks.” He drags the other along towards the table.
“Then why are we going over there?”
“Good ques-Hey guys,” Jinki drags the last two syllables out, awkwardly standing in front of the table. “This is my, uh, friend.”
Jonghyun swallows the odd feeling swelling up in his throat and chest. Plump lips, high cheekbones, catty eyes, and pale skin - it all seems uncomfortably familiar. “You didn’t tell us. I thought we were your friends.”
“Well, he’s the new guy in town,” Jinki takes his seat beside Jonghyun as Kibum moves to get another chair from a different table.
“What’s his name?” And before Jinki can answer, Kibum sits down in the chair he slides up to the table. Eye contact is made - and Jonghyun can feel an almost irresistible pull to the dark brown irises.
“Kibum,” Kibum simply says.
MARCH 17TH 2:49AM
This time there are no swirling clouds, no fading colors, no cracking earth, and no pure black or whiteness.
It’s the closest thing to normal.
But that same entity is always present.
“How have you been?” Its voice sounds, back turned to him.
Jonghyun hesitates, but ultimately chooses to remain silent as he warily takes a seat on the park bench.
He remains focused on the grass, suppressing a shiver as he feels the rush of air, then the radiating body heat, that encases the exposed skin of his arms.
“You’re confused,” it speaks in a dejected manner. Jonghyun can feel the slight disturbance of air as it sighs; through peripheral vision, he can see it rest its elbows on its knees, head bowed. “That’s okay, though a disappointment.”
His curiosity is peaked, “How?”
The entity’s eyes glow a dull red from under the black bangs. “Because,” there’s another sigh, “your confusion makes things… complicated.”
“What things?”
“You wouldn’t understand now, but eventually you’ll see,” it stands, and after a blink, Jonghyun can’t see the entity anywhere.
It’s gone, just like that.
MARCH 19TH 4:58PM
“So,” Jonghyun starts the conversation back up, breaks the eye contact when Kibum looks up from swirling the hot chocolate in his cup, and gestures towards the city landscape. “What made you come to the big city?”
He scoffs. “You say it like I’m from the country,” a sip of hot chocolate, “I’m not from the country.”
“I didn’t uh,” Jonghyun pauses, looks away, and nervously rubs the back of his neck when Kibum sends a rather menacing glance his way. “Sorry.”
Another sip of hot chocolate.
Jonghyun clears his throat. “So, where are you from?”
Kibum gives a small chuckle. “Do you start every sentence with so?” He says, and at Jonghyun’s even more confused face he adds, “don’t worry, it’s cute.”
“Eh,” he just kind of weakly shrugs. “Where are you from?”
“Daegu.”
“What? Okay, what really made you come to Seoul then?”
He pauses. “Opportunities,” Kibum goes back to swirling the hot chocolate again. “My parents and grandparents died.”
At the words spoken, the breeze that blows past, and the air that settles over Kibum, Jonghyun shifts uncomfortably on the park bench. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles.
Silence grows between them. By this time, the hot chocolate is gone.
“Don’t fucking pity me,” Kibum’s voice comes off cold as he abruptly stands and walks away out of the park, away from Jonghyun.
4:57AM
The whiteness is there from the start.
“Hello there,” the entity greets, back once more turned to Jonghyun.
Churning down an unnerving, yet familiar fear, he remains quiet. He concentrates on the entity’s back, drumming his fingers on the outside of his thigh.
“Your silence,” it sighs, “it is worrying me.”
Jonghyun grits his teeth once, twice, “You’re being nice. Too nice.”
“Is it a bad thing?” It slowly turns around, a frown evident on its ghostly features.
“Yes!” Jonghyun shouts, exasperated. “Is your head too far up your ass that you can’t see what you’re doing?” He makes a few frustrated gestures. “You’re telling me I don’t remember anything but you don’t remember when you were trying to ‘lock me into my eternal suffering’ or some shit!”
Hands in its pockets now, the entity snorts, “I do remember.”
“Whatever. Why are you trying to be nice now then?” Jonghyun glares.
“Because things are easier this way,” it gives as an answer.
“Easier? I don’t believe it. All you’re gonna do is try to befriend me, then turn around and kick me in the balls and do whatever this ‘locking me into my eternal suffering’ shit is.”
It teleports in front of him, form flickering once. Subtlety glowing red eyes blink. “You’re such an idiot,” it rolls its eyes, sighing.
Jonghyun briefly imagines himself with something like a butcher knife, chopping this inhuman bastard up into small pieces and harshly stomping on each of the box-like portions of flesh. He can almost feel the handle of the knife, the smooth motion of the sharp blade slicing through the entity. He can feel its warm life gradually cascading down the handle and onto his hand, can see the red liquid spill on the whiteness.
And he’s looking into unbelievably shocked ruby irises.
He can’t snap out of his imagination, because he’s actually doing this. His grip on the knife slackens, and then tightens again in a weak tug. A single tremor ripples throughout his body. His breath comes in and out through his mouth, shallow with raw shock and remnants of previously released adrenaline.
Regaining a fracture of composure, Jonghyun roughly yanks out the knife, the sickening sound of the blade slicing through already injured flesh briefly echoing. He backs away as more blood oozes out of the wound, the entity’s body thudding lifelessly on the reddened whiteness.
He closes his eyes, opening them to stare at his distorted reflection in the blood smeared blade.
Then in a whirl of movement, the knife is slapped out of Jonghyun’s hand and clanging somewhere to his right. Livid, completely scarlet eyes are narrowed into slits and radiating homicidal intentions. Ghostly hands are tightly fisted in the fabric of his collar, sharp nails digging through and cutting at his skin. “You’re underestimating me,” its voice darkens at each syllable, grip tightening almost beyond human strength. “I’m doing my best not to just kill you right now.” A wall rises; Jonghyun’s back is promptly slammed into it, choking on impact.
He gasps for air when a hand lets go of his shirt and neck, reaching for a space of the wall beside him. A single nail rakes down, a large tear revealing a black nothingness being left in its wake.
The other hand releases Jonghyun, and he feels himself being sucked into the blackness. He latches onto the entity’s wrist before he’s totally out of reach.
“Do you want to die?” It calmly asks, a certain darkness still clinging to the words.
Jonghyun vigorously shakes his head.
“Then let go,” it says.
Jonghyun reluctantly complies, and upon letting go he’s immediately launched into a whirlwind of repressed memories.
Memories from his childhood, from early adolescence. Memories filled with so much sorrow and hopelessness. Memories consumed by uncontrollable anger. Memories that contain an unlimited amount of fear.
Memories that he’d much rather never remember again.
“I’m gonna die,” he screws his eyes shut.
“Jonghyun, you’re not going to die.”
He feels himself starting to sob. “I’m dying.”
“You’re not dying!”
The tears come. “I’m dead! I’m dead.”
“Jonghyun! You’re not dead!”
He shakes his head.
“Wake up! Please.”
Jonghyun’s eyes crack open, and he’s greeted with the worried face of Jessica. “Are you okay?” She asks, tone gentle, resting her head on his bare chest.
“Is this real?” his voice is quiet, raspy.
“Yes,” Jessica frowns.
He shakily reaches for her, hand tenderly stroking her hair.
“It was just a nightmare,” she smiles sweetly, “you’re okay.”
“It didn’t feel like one,” he says as she rolls off his chest to the closest spot next to him. He turns on his side, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her snug against his frame.
“I know,” she twirls small locks of his hair around her finger. “Everything is okay now.”
Jonghyun buries his face in the crook of her neck. “But it was too scary.”
A/N: sorry about the wait, i had a lot of end of course work to finish. plus finals. hurray for summer vacation! ~
anyway, poor jonghyun lol >.>
Pairing: broken!Jongsica, Jongkey
Genre: Supernatural & angst
Rating: PG-13 (subject to change)
Summary: Dreams can quickly turn into a reality experienced in two worlds, at the same time.
Disclaimer: the guys belong to SM.
Length: 3/? approx. 3200 words
FEBRUARY 24TH 7:35PM
“Oh god that test just about killed me,” Jinki laughs bitterly, gingerly taking a sip of his Cappuccino. He winces at the still hot coffee, accidentally tipping the cup a bit, some of the scalding liquid falling onto his lap.
Though he doesn’t know what good it could do, Jonghyun offhandedly slides him a few napkins. “You’re good at math,” he says, lowering the music volume on his iPod, “it couldn’t have been that bad.”
“I mean, I hope I didn’t fail,” the older one manages after the fanning of his lap and the repeated whispering of ‘hot’ ceases.
“Relax, man. You didn’t, trust me,” Jonghyun smiles.
He gets one of those Jinki smiles - closed eyes, and all teeth - in return.
Jonghyun snickers, puts his iPod on shuffle. “It looks like you pissed yourself, though.”
Sputtering and red cheeks from embarrassment ensue. Jonghyun is laughing hard until soft hands are covering is eyes. “Hey,” is the feminine voice and his face falls into an easy smile.
He peels the hands from his face, wrapping a single arm around her waist and pulling her flush against his chest. She giggles.
Jinki’s face begins to resemble a beat. He points a questioning finger at Jonghyun, “What - you two?”
Jonghyun pulls back just enough to catch her lips in a gentle kiss.
“Okay, I get it!” Jinki’s hands frantically wave, as if warding them off, “You go out with Jessica!” Jinki tips back on his chair, catching himself before colliding with the ground. “Y-you two can stop now,” he whimpers.
FEBRUARY 27TH 4:34PM
“These two,” Jinki announces loudly, gesturing towards the couple holding hands near the front of the café, “are love struck love birds.”
From across the table Taemin snorts and crosses his arms. “Love struck love birds, really hyung?”
“Yes,” Jinki sighs.
Minho shakes his head.
They watch as Jonghyun pulls out a chair for Jessica, receiving a kiss on the cheek in return.
“Congratulations,” Minho says as Jonghyun takes a seat.
“You didn’t even tell us, hyung!” Taemin pouts.
Jinki presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. “And you guys should have at least told me before you started making out.”
“Hey, hey,” Jonghyun scratches the back of his neck, turning to a frowning Jessica, “no hard feelings, eh?”
MARCH 1st 3:12AM
Along with the grayscale that slowly drapes over the color of the world, Jonghyun’s stomach plummets to a familiar and hopeless depth.
“I won’t allow you to forget me so easily,” the loud whisper comes from all around, a gust picking up, wiping the scene of a distant city, the sky, and the scarcely planted trees from Jonghyun’s view. He wishes it would carry this sickening feeling rising in his throat, the fear that roots him in place, to another place. Completely away from him - somewhere unbelievably far away.
“Don’t ever think that you can,” that same voice echoes again, painfully reverberating off his eardrums, fueling the pace of Jonghyun’s fast-beating heart.
The wind starts again, swirling about red and black particles in the air some distance in front of Jonghyun. They harmlessly dance, the colors brilliantly intermixing before settling down in a messy pile on the rapidly whitening floor. In a flash, everything is colored a bright white, the black and red particles are gone, the world violently shaking in an up-and-down motion. He finds himself losing balance, tipping backwards, screwing his eyes shut at the immediate pang of pain in his upper back from the impact of his fall.
When Jonghyun opens his eyes after a shakily breathed swear, an expected whiteness is replaced with a pair of ruby red eyes calmly staring down at him. He opens his mouth to speak, make a noise, anything, but he’s struck silent and his lips remain parted.
There’s a snort. “That look isn’t quite befitting on you,” the eyes move back away from his face, revealing a rather familiar figure that moves to stand up straight. A fairly pale hand is stretched out to Jonghyun, the fingertips subtlety glowing.
Anger rises quick, the hand being slapped away in result. “I don’t need your help,” Jonghyun snorts back, sitting up to glare at the entity, proving his point.
“Is that so?” It takes a step back in return, more so to allow Jonghyun space than from fear.
“Yeah, so fuck you,” Jonghyun stands, hands dust white sparkles from his grungy jeans and sky blue t-shirt, “and leave me alone.”
The entity cocks its head slightly to the left. “Leave you alone,” it slowly repeats. And before the flare of anger that sparks in Jonghyun’s brain can reach his mouth to be expressed in words, a loud cackle of laughter forces silence upon him. “Leave you alone? Leave you alone!” It muses between chuckles. “I’m afraid I can’t-”
“You will!” Jonghyun shouts, intolerance for this… thing quickly growing unbearably high, rage seeping into his veins, “I don’t know who the hell you are,” his palms deliver a powerful push to each of its shoulders, “but you’re going to leave me the fuck alone!” His teeth grit together, eyes narrowing into a hardened glare. A split of fear cracks the bricks of rage pulsing through his veins at the stoic expression that remains unchanging on the entity’s face.
“Oh?” It passively drawls, a single eyebrow quirking.
That’s the breaking point.
Jonghyun’s fist guides itself towards its cheek. A repulsive crack rings throughout the whiteness as the entity stumbles backwards. Only after the echo ceases, do either of them unfreeze; Jonghyun’s fist twitching and returning to his side, the entity closing its eyes and slowly craning its neck to spit.
Jonghyun remains focused on the red spot that stains the virginity of this white world.
There’s something that resembles a giggle, the echo of footsteps. Soon Jonghyun can feel the heat radiating off its skin at the closed distance. His gaze slowly travel upwards (there’s a startling realization that it just happens to be wearing the same clothing as him), flickering between ruby eyes, a cheerless smile, and the entity’s quickly bruising cheek.
Where he’s preparing for a harsh punishment, it speaks. “How did it feel?” the question takes an extra few seconds to register in Jonghyun’s mind, “the feeling of rage. The act of delivering pain.”
Jonghyun shakes his head, roughly shoving the entity backwards again, the refusal to answer evident, “You might wanna fix your cheek.”
Red orbs flicker and its entire form disappears from Jonghyun’s line of vision. “Do you think that I cannot feel pain?” a voice suddenly sounds from behind him. It’s more of the incredulous, almost sad (instead of a furiousness he had been expecting) tone of the entity’s voice that causes Jonghyun to whip around and simply stare wide-eyed. At his lack of an answer, it leans in close, eyes seeming to awaken with something along the lines of curiosity, “That’s what it is, isn’t it? You’re shocked that I can feel anything, aren’t you?” A pondering look comes over its face, “I suppose that you actually don’t remember-“
“Fuck off,” Jonghyun’s hands fist in a shirt as equally blue as his own. “Don’t start with that again,” he contemplates pushing him away, but instead releases the fabric and settles for a scowl.
A chuckle escapes it, the warm breath cascading over Jonghyun’s cheeks and lips. A relatively small knife that he failed to notice before is held up to his face. The entity’s other hand comes palm up underneath the blade, forcing itself on the sharp edge. Fresh blood bubbles up around the cut, slowly running off the hand, red drops falling and staining the white floor. “As you wish,” another chuckle, “just don’t forget. Don’t ever forget.”
And just like that, it vanishes - leaving Jonghyun to stare at the freshly spilled drops of blood that remain on the whiteness.
MARCH 11TH 2:35PM
“It seems like you’re doing better, hyung,” Minho comments as the bell tied to the door of the café/restaurant rings, signaling the group’s entrance.
“Who, me?” Jonghyun turns around, gives the most confused-puppy expression possible. “Oh, well, I guess,” he shrugs at Minho’s nod.
“Yeah, yeah,” Taemin perks up, sitting down at their table, “you seemed out of it. But you’re okay now, right hyung?”
Jonghyun runs a single hand through brown and golden locks. “Sure, yeah, I’m okay,” he affirms and turns to Jinki, who just gives him a wide grin in return.
“Was trying to figure out how to ask Jessica out getting to you, hyung?” The youngest of the group pipes up again. He hisses his surprise when Minho elbows him between his ribs.
“I don’t know,” Jonghyun answers after a few seconds and scratches of his head. “It could have been.”
“Not getting enough sleep? Were you thinking about her all night?”
In the time it takes Jonghyun to register the question and get the first syllable of his answer out, Jinki is leaning halfway across the table, hand partially cover his mouth. “What’s wrong, Taemin?” he whispers, “Do you umm… like someone or something?”
“No!” He squawks indignantly, “it’s not even like that!”
Jonghyun glances away, trying to muffle his sniggers. A single crack of laughter comes from Minho but it’s passed off as a cough.
“Do you, you know, want a girlfriend?” Jinki’s face has genuine concern.
Taemin uses a hand to cover his eyes, slowly raking it down his face. “No, hyung,” he says, “I just wanted to know. This isn’t about me-”
“-It’s just hypothetical?” Minho smoothly chimes in, hint of a smirk painting his lips.
“Yeah, hypothetical! It’s all just hypothetical,” he immediately smiles and clings onto the word like a lifeline.
“Oh, well if something like that comes about,” Jinki pats Jonghyun on the shoulder, “don’t be like Jong here. Let us know.”
“Hey hey now, you keep ragging about me not telling you guys about my girlfriend. I think you’re jealous, man,” Jonghyun counters.
“He has a point, hyung,” Minho says.
“When’s the last time you had a girlfriend anyway?” Taemin adds.
“I, uh…”
Jonghyun accusingly points at him with his thumb, “See? He doesn’t even know!”
“He’s jealous!”
“No, I’m not!”
“It’s okay; we all want something we can hold, kiss, and love.”
“How about we get you a hookup tonight?”
“I don’t need-”
“Hello,” a waitress sashays over, interrupting them. “What will you gentlemen like today-?”
“-a girlfriend!” Jinki finishes rather loudly.
Silence settles over.
“Onew sangtae!” Jonghyun and Taemin start to sing together as Minho tells the waitress the usual drinks and snacks that everyone orders.
The singing abruptly stops as the waitress walks away, the bell to the door sounds, and Jinki gets up to hug and greet the young man that steps into the café.
Three pairs of eyes left at the table exchange curious and questioning glances.
“You don’t wanna hang out with these guys,” the trio overhears Jinki explain to the newcomer. “They’re jerks.” He drags the other along towards the table.
“Then why are we going over there?”
“Good ques-Hey guys,” Jinki drags the last two syllables out, awkwardly standing in front of the table. “This is my, uh, friend.”
Jonghyun swallows the odd feeling swelling up in his throat and chest. Plump lips, high cheekbones, catty eyes, and pale skin - it all seems uncomfortably familiar. “You didn’t tell us. I thought we were your friends.”
“Well, he’s the new guy in town,” Jinki takes his seat beside Jonghyun as Kibum moves to get another chair from a different table.
“What’s his name?” And before Jinki can answer, Kibum sits down in the chair he slides up to the table. Eye contact is made - and Jonghyun can feel an almost irresistible pull to the dark brown irises.
“Kibum,” Kibum simply says.
MARCH 17TH 2:49AM
This time there are no swirling clouds, no fading colors, no cracking earth, and no pure black or whiteness.
It’s the closest thing to normal.
But that same entity is always present.
“How have you been?” Its voice sounds, back turned to him.
Jonghyun hesitates, but ultimately chooses to remain silent as he warily takes a seat on the park bench.
He remains focused on the grass, suppressing a shiver as he feels the rush of air, then the radiating body heat, that encases the exposed skin of his arms.
“You’re confused,” it speaks in a dejected manner. Jonghyun can feel the slight disturbance of air as it sighs; through peripheral vision, he can see it rest its elbows on its knees, head bowed. “That’s okay, though a disappointment.”
His curiosity is peaked, “How?”
The entity’s eyes glow a dull red from under the black bangs. “Because,” there’s another sigh, “your confusion makes things… complicated.”
“What things?”
“You wouldn’t understand now, but eventually you’ll see,” it stands, and after a blink, Jonghyun can’t see the entity anywhere.
It’s gone, just like that.
MARCH 19TH 4:58PM
“So,” Jonghyun starts the conversation back up, breaks the eye contact when Kibum looks up from swirling the hot chocolate in his cup, and gestures towards the city landscape. “What made you come to the big city?”
He scoffs. “You say it like I’m from the country,” a sip of hot chocolate, “I’m not from the country.”
“I didn’t uh,” Jonghyun pauses, looks away, and nervously rubs the back of his neck when Kibum sends a rather menacing glance his way. “Sorry.”
Another sip of hot chocolate.
Jonghyun clears his throat. “So, where are you from?”
Kibum gives a small chuckle. “Do you start every sentence with so?” He says, and at Jonghyun’s even more confused face he adds, “don’t worry, it’s cute.”
“Eh,” he just kind of weakly shrugs. “Where are you from?”
“Daegu.”
“What? Okay, what really made you come to Seoul then?”
He pauses. “Opportunities,” Kibum goes back to swirling the hot chocolate again. “My parents and grandparents died.”
At the words spoken, the breeze that blows past, and the air that settles over Kibum, Jonghyun shifts uncomfortably on the park bench. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles.
Silence grows between them. By this time, the hot chocolate is gone.
“Don’t fucking pity me,” Kibum’s voice comes off cold as he abruptly stands and walks away out of the park, away from Jonghyun.
4:57AM
The whiteness is there from the start.
“Hello there,” the entity greets, back once more turned to Jonghyun.
Churning down an unnerving, yet familiar fear, he remains quiet. He concentrates on the entity’s back, drumming his fingers on the outside of his thigh.
“Your silence,” it sighs, “it is worrying me.”
Jonghyun grits his teeth once, twice, “You’re being nice. Too nice.”
“Is it a bad thing?” It slowly turns around, a frown evident on its ghostly features.
“Yes!” Jonghyun shouts, exasperated. “Is your head too far up your ass that you can’t see what you’re doing?” He makes a few frustrated gestures. “You’re telling me I don’t remember anything but you don’t remember when you were trying to ‘lock me into my eternal suffering’ or some shit!”
Hands in its pockets now, the entity snorts, “I do remember.”
“Whatever. Why are you trying to be nice now then?” Jonghyun glares.
“Because things are easier this way,” it gives as an answer.
“Easier? I don’t believe it. All you’re gonna do is try to befriend me, then turn around and kick me in the balls and do whatever this ‘locking me into my eternal suffering’ shit is.”
It teleports in front of him, form flickering once. Subtlety glowing red eyes blink. “You’re such an idiot,” it rolls its eyes, sighing.
Jonghyun briefly imagines himself with something like a butcher knife, chopping this inhuman bastard up into small pieces and harshly stomping on each of the box-like portions of flesh. He can almost feel the handle of the knife, the smooth motion of the sharp blade slicing through the entity. He can feel its warm life gradually cascading down the handle and onto his hand, can see the red liquid spill on the whiteness.
And he’s looking into unbelievably shocked ruby irises.
He can’t snap out of his imagination, because he’s actually doing this. His grip on the knife slackens, and then tightens again in a weak tug. A single tremor ripples throughout his body. His breath comes in and out through his mouth, shallow with raw shock and remnants of previously released adrenaline.
Regaining a fracture of composure, Jonghyun roughly yanks out the knife, the sickening sound of the blade slicing through already injured flesh briefly echoing. He backs away as more blood oozes out of the wound, the entity’s body thudding lifelessly on the reddened whiteness.
He closes his eyes, opening them to stare at his distorted reflection in the blood smeared blade.
Then in a whirl of movement, the knife is slapped out of Jonghyun’s hand and clanging somewhere to his right. Livid, completely scarlet eyes are narrowed into slits and radiating homicidal intentions. Ghostly hands are tightly fisted in the fabric of his collar, sharp nails digging through and cutting at his skin. “You’re underestimating me,” its voice darkens at each syllable, grip tightening almost beyond human strength. “I’m doing my best not to just kill you right now.” A wall rises; Jonghyun’s back is promptly slammed into it, choking on impact.
He gasps for air when a hand lets go of his shirt and neck, reaching for a space of the wall beside him. A single nail rakes down, a large tear revealing a black nothingness being left in its wake.
The other hand releases Jonghyun, and he feels himself being sucked into the blackness. He latches onto the entity’s wrist before he’s totally out of reach.
“Do you want to die?” It calmly asks, a certain darkness still clinging to the words.
Jonghyun vigorously shakes his head.
“Then let go,” it says.
Jonghyun reluctantly complies, and upon letting go he’s immediately launched into a whirlwind of repressed memories.
Memories from his childhood, from early adolescence. Memories filled with so much sorrow and hopelessness. Memories consumed by uncontrollable anger. Memories that contain an unlimited amount of fear.
Memories that he’d much rather never remember again.
“I’m gonna die,” he screws his eyes shut.
“Jonghyun, you’re not going to die.”
He feels himself starting to sob. “I’m dying.”
“You’re not dying!”
The tears come. “I’m dead! I’m dead.”
“Jonghyun! You’re not dead!”
He shakes his head.
“Wake up! Please.”
Jonghyun’s eyes crack open, and he’s greeted with the worried face of Jessica. “Are you okay?” She asks, tone gentle, resting her head on his bare chest.
“Is this real?” his voice is quiet, raspy.
“Yes,” Jessica frowns.
He shakily reaches for her, hand tenderly stroking her hair.
“It was just a nightmare,” she smiles sweetly, “you’re okay.”
“It didn’t feel like one,” he says as she rolls off his chest to the closest spot next to him. He turns on his side, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her snug against his frame.
“I know,” she twirls small locks of his hair around her finger. “Everything is okay now.”
Jonghyun buries his face in the crook of her neck. “But it was too scary.”
A/N: sorry about the wait, i had a lot of end of course work to finish. plus finals. hurray for summer vacation! ~
anyway, poor jonghyun lol >.>