Fear...
These people who we are staying with in Mineapolis are awesome. I mean, like freakin dopedest... you have no idea. They are really nice, friendly, good looking, funny... and I mean like, the whole family. Well, except for the middle son... I haven't met him yet but he's an art major so I'm sure we'd get along too.
CRAP>>> I'm a finish this entry upstairs in a little while. This is gonna be a long thoughtful one, and apparently the internet cuts out down here whenever the phone rings. I don't really want to loose this or whatever.
Hey, I'm back again.
Today after going to church with the Mast's we went and had lunch with some of my parents good old friends. The man is John Piper's assistant, and he was very interesting! He asked some probing questions about if our walk with God is alive, but it was awesome. Very refreshing, actually. They were interesting people just to sit and talk with.
Someone recently told me that being insecure is a waste of time, and I'm starting to agree. Yesterday Zach and Josiah (two of the Mast boys) were talking with me and Bethy, and we were talking about ministry. Both of them are very missions minded, which is awesome to see in people my own age. They are unbelievable, forreal! So they were talking about what it is which holds us back from witnessing: Our personal Fear.
So I was thinking about that, and thinking about what we actually fear when we choose not to be a witness for Christ. It's a fear of rejection. If what God thought of us was most important to us, we really wouldn't have anything to fear, because even if we were rejected in witnessing, then we still are "storing up treasures in Heaven" and you know, doing what God wants us to do. (Like we learned about in Gatlinburg 2003 with the witnessing guy).
Basically it's our insecurities that keep us from going out and doing what we know we should be doing.
Lately I have been worrying, like my dad and his friend were talking about at lunch, about stuff that I don't really need to be worrying about. Paranoia, fear of rejection and such... my insecurities. They were talking about being like that, and about needing people to constantly reassure you, and about how you can help someone like that: Definitely not by just telling them they are being stupid or don't need to worry about that. But how can we help someone like that?
It's interesting. One drop of wisdom which they were discussing is for God to increase in our life. When God increases, we decrease. Our insecurities and problems with ourselves and such can all melt away... not become non existant, but perhaps just lessoned as we focus once again on God and who He is, and things which are greater.
It's weird because today in Church the pastor said something that struck me, and it struck me as if it were new. I wonder sometimes how that can happen? I've heard it all, haven't I? I think sometimes I get to this point where I THINK that I know pretty much every aspect of Christianity, only to hear something which I have perhaps heard before, but for it suddenly to seem new, or hit me in a new way. Not necessarily because of how it's said, but how it's received.
I'm not sure why, but I felt like someone was praying for me today during Church.
I once again was put at ease. My fears were vanquished by the Truth of Grace. No joke. It was like instead of being insecure and all like, "What if I do something I shouldn't and it screws up my relationship with God?" I realized God loves me because of Christ's atonement. It's credited to me. It's there. I mean, no matter what I do or have done, He's gonna love me the same.
It was a freeing feeling. Suddenly I felt freed to follow Him more closely, because I started feeling God's love. I started desiring Him more than I have been lately. My mind started hurling ideas of what I could do to share God's love with others, to share His truth.
It was awesome.
I felt less desire to sin, as I was encouraged that God would love me no matter what.
This is freeing.
CRAP>>> I'm a finish this entry upstairs in a little while. This is gonna be a long thoughtful one, and apparently the internet cuts out down here whenever the phone rings. I don't really want to loose this or whatever.
Hey, I'm back again.
Today after going to church with the Mast's we went and had lunch with some of my parents good old friends. The man is John Piper's assistant, and he was very interesting! He asked some probing questions about if our walk with God is alive, but it was awesome. Very refreshing, actually. They were interesting people just to sit and talk with.
Someone recently told me that being insecure is a waste of time, and I'm starting to agree. Yesterday Zach and Josiah (two of the Mast boys) were talking with me and Bethy, and we were talking about ministry. Both of them are very missions minded, which is awesome to see in people my own age. They are unbelievable, forreal! So they were talking about what it is which holds us back from witnessing: Our personal Fear.
So I was thinking about that, and thinking about what we actually fear when we choose not to be a witness for Christ. It's a fear of rejection. If what God thought of us was most important to us, we really wouldn't have anything to fear, because even if we were rejected in witnessing, then we still are "storing up treasures in Heaven" and you know, doing what God wants us to do. (Like we learned about in Gatlinburg 2003 with the witnessing guy).
Basically it's our insecurities that keep us from going out and doing what we know we should be doing.
Lately I have been worrying, like my dad and his friend were talking about at lunch, about stuff that I don't really need to be worrying about. Paranoia, fear of rejection and such... my insecurities. They were talking about being like that, and about needing people to constantly reassure you, and about how you can help someone like that: Definitely not by just telling them they are being stupid or don't need to worry about that. But how can we help someone like that?
It's interesting. One drop of wisdom which they were discussing is for God to increase in our life. When God increases, we decrease. Our insecurities and problems with ourselves and such can all melt away... not become non existant, but perhaps just lessoned as we focus once again on God and who He is, and things which are greater.
It's weird because today in Church the pastor said something that struck me, and it struck me as if it were new. I wonder sometimes how that can happen? I've heard it all, haven't I? I think sometimes I get to this point where I THINK that I know pretty much every aspect of Christianity, only to hear something which I have perhaps heard before, but for it suddenly to seem new, or hit me in a new way. Not necessarily because of how it's said, but how it's received.
I'm not sure why, but I felt like someone was praying for me today during Church.
I once again was put at ease. My fears were vanquished by the Truth of Grace. No joke. It was like instead of being insecure and all like, "What if I do something I shouldn't and it screws up my relationship with God?" I realized God loves me because of Christ's atonement. It's credited to me. It's there. I mean, no matter what I do or have done, He's gonna love me the same.
It was a freeing feeling. Suddenly I felt freed to follow Him more closely, because I started feeling God's love. I started desiring Him more than I have been lately. My mind started hurling ideas of what I could do to share God's love with others, to share His truth.
It was awesome.
I felt less desire to sin, as I was encouraged that God would love me no matter what.
This is freeing.