(no subject)
I've been living in denial, I realised. This comfortable little world that I've built to prevent myself from facing any form of hurt, rejection or disappointment. Too comfortable. It has even became an excuse for me to run away from situations that I feel uncomfortable with- opportunities slip away in front of my eyes, but I was too afraid to pursue them anyway. This seriously has to come to an end. I've had enough of my own cowardice and laziness. Through all these self-defenses that I've built up around myself, I have also came to realise that I was never happy. How could I ever be happy like that? How am I to accomplish anything in life, if I were to cower away from responsibilities and challenges that life presents? How can I be able to truly feel a sense of achievement and accomplishment for what I've done, when I don't even dare to do anything? All that I hope for right now, is to be able to put my fears and doubts aside, and just trust myself. Ultimately, to also be able to trust my gohonzon whole-heartedly. I wish to make a change this year, and I shall. This is not for anybody, but myself. Nobody is responsible for my future, but me. I know that I'll definitely be able to overcome this, because, "Those who believe in the Lotus Sutra are as if in winter, but winter always turns to spring. Never, from ancient times on, has anyone heard or seen of winter turning back to autumn." I will be victorious.