the stupid mistake
so I made a stupid mistake.... ok ok i make alot but still ...... so anyway yeah i still trying for laura and thats my stupid mistake we got into a big fight last night..........well big for us....... she says she feels that every other time we talk it feels like we are breaking up all over again..... i know i need to back off..... i need to walk away for awhile....... i care for her at this point in time, but i really don't want to anymore..... she doesn't love me i love her. what a shitty deal.......... i do hope that it works out for her and even more so i do hope it works out for me ..... i need to be selfish........i try to hard i guess not to be selfish...... i just hate being called when some one is bored ..... it's not a friendship that way.... you should call when you're bored .... when you need something.... but also just because you wanna hang out ...... stupid me..... i'm just not wanting to let go, to something that has already let go....... well lets see what i can do.......i just need to not worry about her for awhile and have my own fun..... if we eventually become friends hey thats great if not.... well that sucks but it wasn't ment to be i guess...... do i love her?......... i don't really know anymore.......do i want her back?......... to be honest, as much as i tell myself i do...... i don't...... i love what we had, yes....... but until we both grow, we can't have anything close to that..............oh well there is so many other people out there some better some worse.......and some that are just not worth my time right now..... i want to be friends.... but maybe I can't maybe WE can't........ will see...... time will always tell and time will heal.........God i hate that saying