The break up and the feelings inside!?!?!?
***Disclaimer: what you are about to read is a true account of what my head is thinking.I've noticed from a while back that tangents, poor grammer and spelling is they way my mind thinks. if it is hard to read. i only apologize on the fact that YOU can't understand it. this is a way for me to vent, not an essay for you to grade... so with many thanks for taking the interest in what i have to say. read at your own risk*******
so i broke up with this girl i was seeing .... it's not that i don't care about her i'm just not ready for another realtionship just yet........ i realized that i still have feeling for my ex... i realized we had to break up (the new girl and i) because:there was a time that i was laying next to her,gaby,( no i never did anything with her....besides kiss her) anyaway back to what i was saying........ i was laying next to her and when it wasn't my ex i was unhappy and all i could think about is my ex......now it could just be me but i think that warrents a break up! what do you think?........ do i still have feeling for my ex....... yeah i guess i do..... do i think i'll get back together with her.....as much as i might want to get back with her. i'm alittle to seasoned to kid myself..... if she came back would i take her , yeah probably..... OK OK !!!! yes i would so what, you would to if you felt like i did for her.........if we did i know i would do alot of things different........like quit smoking (LOL!!!!) but already doing that, for myself. it's been one day so far wish me luck........I know i miss her alot i miss everything about her, i even miss her family( they ment more to me then i could ever express. they were the family that i wish i had and the mom and dad that i would want for my kids, the sibling relationship well, lets just say, every one fights not everyone loves each other like they did)..... so am i hung up on my ex???? yeah alittle.... but i'd rather be her friend then nothing....... did it bother me when she had a new guy...... to be honest i was more upset that it didn't bother me then the little it did..... i guess thats what happens when you really love someone, as much as you want them in your life, if they don't want you in theres, you'd rather that they be happy....... well to the Mcdougals: thank you so much for the time i spent with you. you taught me a world of knowledge. TO Mrs.Mcdougal, although i know there are times that i wasn't your favorite person, but you were the mother to me when i felt like my mother was to busy with her life. To Mr.Mcdougal, LOL!!!! i doubt i was ever your favorite person but hey that comes with the job of your daughter's boyfriend... anyway thank you i had fun watching foot ball games with you even though we never agreed with what team should win....well thats not true there is always the dolphins (PLEASE GOD LET THEM WIN... am i going to hell know???) and i ment what i said, I will help you at you work anytime you want just ask. To both of you:thank you for being the role models of what i want to be when i have kids. To Kristen: I'm sorry at first you felt i took your sister away, but i so happy we became friends you are a great person to know and i hope you get to go to U.F. but you'll make the best where ever you're at. good luck with your boyfriend. To Ginny: i'll always listen to what you got to say hey i'm the youngest too, they'll never understand us ( the youngests) And finally to Laura: what can i say to you.....there are so many times that i didn't understand you. and for that i'm sorry.but i thank you the time i spent with you. it was so great and i would replace it for a second. i will always have a place in my heart for you....I LOVE YOU SNUGGLES (much to much lol)......ok i have feeling for ex I KNOW!!!!! but even more so, with all the frusrations that i had when i was with her; What we had ment the world to me....... so if i feel all of this, if i still care for her, why should i put some else through this.... i can't have another relationship if i still have feelings for another.... even if i can just be the friend to the ex and not expect a relationship..... i'm not ready for anything serious with someone new just yet...... best way i can say it is this. it's like being in the shower with shampoo in your hair. some one calls you to get out of the shower. but you can't yet because you need to rinse off..... you can't be a good boyfriend to some one new till you "rinse off" the old one.......but what if you don't want to rinse off the old one????? some times you have to because the old one doesn't want you back!!!!
Nothing is written in stone i guess.... and even stone can break and turn to dust.... i guess i'll see in the end? damn that end you want it to come so quickly but when it comes it came to soon. well i'm stopping now i think i've rambled for long enough and got my thought out of my head. sorry about the tangents, poor grammer and spelling.... but hey it's my stupid journal deal with it. lol
so i broke up with this girl i was seeing .... it's not that i don't care about her i'm just not ready for another realtionship just yet........ i realized that i still have feeling for my ex... i realized we had to break up (the new girl and i) because:there was a time that i was laying next to her,gaby,( no i never did anything with her....besides kiss her) anyaway back to what i was saying........ i was laying next to her and when it wasn't my ex i was unhappy and all i could think about is my ex......now it could just be me but i think that warrents a break up! what do you think?........ do i still have feeling for my ex....... yeah i guess i do..... do i think i'll get back together with her.....as much as i might want to get back with her. i'm alittle to seasoned to kid myself..... if she came back would i take her , yeah probably..... OK OK !!!! yes i would so what, you would to if you felt like i did for her.........if we did i know i would do alot of things different........like quit smoking (LOL!!!!) but already doing that, for myself. it's been one day so far wish me luck........I know i miss her alot i miss everything about her, i even miss her family( they ment more to me then i could ever express. they were the family that i wish i had and the mom and dad that i would want for my kids, the sibling relationship well, lets just say, every one fights not everyone loves each other like they did)..... so am i hung up on my ex???? yeah alittle.... but i'd rather be her friend then nothing....... did it bother me when she had a new guy...... to be honest i was more upset that it didn't bother me then the little it did..... i guess thats what happens when you really love someone, as much as you want them in your life, if they don't want you in theres, you'd rather that they be happy....... well to the Mcdougals: thank you so much for the time i spent with you. you taught me a world of knowledge. TO Mrs.Mcdougal, although i know there are times that i wasn't your favorite person, but you were the mother to me when i felt like my mother was to busy with her life. To Mr.Mcdougal, LOL!!!! i doubt i was ever your favorite person but hey that comes with the job of your daughter's boyfriend... anyway thank you i had fun watching foot ball games with you even though we never agreed with what team should win....well thats not true there is always the dolphins (PLEASE GOD LET THEM WIN... am i going to hell know???) and i ment what i said, I will help you at you work anytime you want just ask. To both of you:thank you for being the role models of what i want to be when i have kids. To Kristen: I'm sorry at first you felt i took your sister away, but i so happy we became friends you are a great person to know and i hope you get to go to U.F. but you'll make the best where ever you're at. good luck with your boyfriend. To Ginny: i'll always listen to what you got to say hey i'm the youngest too, they'll never understand us ( the youngests) And finally to Laura: what can i say to you.....there are so many times that i didn't understand you. and for that i'm sorry.but i thank you the time i spent with you. it was so great and i would replace it for a second. i will always have a place in my heart for you....I LOVE YOU SNUGGLES (much to much lol)......ok i have feeling for ex I KNOW!!!!! but even more so, with all the frusrations that i had when i was with her; What we had ment the world to me....... so if i feel all of this, if i still care for her, why should i put some else through this.... i can't have another relationship if i still have feelings for another.... even if i can just be the friend to the ex and not expect a relationship..... i'm not ready for anything serious with someone new just yet...... best way i can say it is this. it's like being in the shower with shampoo in your hair. some one calls you to get out of the shower. but you can't yet because you need to rinse off..... you can't be a good boyfriend to some one new till you "rinse off" the old one.......but what if you don't want to rinse off the old one????? some times you have to because the old one doesn't want you back!!!!
Nothing is written in stone i guess.... and even stone can break and turn to dust.... i guess i'll see in the end? damn that end you want it to come so quickly but when it comes it came to soon. well i'm stopping now i think i've rambled for long enough and got my thought out of my head. sorry about the tangents, poor grammer and spelling.... but hey it's my stupid journal deal with it. lol