Secret Video Diary of a Billionaire (1/?)

[sturmundwank]

title: Secret Video Diary of a Billionaire (1/?)
fandom: The Social Network
pairing: Mark/Eduardo
word count: 3149
rating: PG-13
warnings: British spelling with Mid-Atlantic punctuation (though I was considerate enough to use 'elevator'), bad characterisation, guys this is a screenplay, less intentional lulz than the title implies, misogynistic

Comments

this is bad but here you go

[marycontraire]

Dustin and Chris have a bet going on how long it will take Mark to notice. Chris says ten minutes. It doesn't take Mark long to notice things on the internet. (In fact, Dustin is pretty sure he is responsible for that news video of Antoine Dodgson going viral.)

Dustin, though, says half an hour, at least. Mark may be quick to notice things, but he is not stalking Dustin's facebook page. Dustin knows, because he is tracking Mark's facebook activity with an elaborately constructed virus-- Mark pretty exclusively facebook stalks Eduardo.

Twenty minutes later, it turns out that they're both wrong. Chris and Dustin, who have been furtively watching Mark through the glass doors of his office, observe as his face goes from pale to purple in a matter of seconds, and then he is charging through the doors and straight at Dustin like a skinny, curly-haired rhinoceros.

"What's wrong, Mark?" Dustin asks, unable to school his features into a mask of concern.

Chris giggles.

"CUT THE CRAP. CHANGE IT BACK."

Dustin considers drawing out the exchange, but Mark's hand is shaking a little, and maybe he's had enough for one day.

"Fine. FINE. I will change it back. But if you're thinking of hacking into my computer and deleting it, you should know that not only is it impossible to destroy a digital file with any kind of certainty--"

"You don't need to tell me that, Dustin--"

"--but I have several hard copies hidden in clever places around the office. I thought we could have a scavenger hunt. You know, like the gentiles do with eggs on Easter."

There is a beat. Then, "Why are we friends?"

"Because you have no other friends since you screwed your soulmate out of the company?"

Mark storms off back to his office.

Re: this is bad but here you go

[sturmundwank]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THEY'RE SO SO EVIL (yet not nearly evil enough :D )

is face goes from pale to purple in a matter of seconds, and then he is charging through the doors and straight at Dustin like a skinny, curly-haired rhinoceros

:D :D Of course he is. I can picture it so clearly, the unattractive purple blotches and the serial-killer eyes.

Dustin considers drawing out the exchange, but Mark's hand is shaking a little, and maybe he's had enough for one day.

lol, why so serious, Mark?

"Because you have no other friends since you screwed your soulmate out of the company?"

Mark storms off back to his office.

...to reevaluate his life and possibly contact Eduardo, we hope.

This was awesome! Your Dustin and Chris are like some mischievous mythological creatures that go around and plot the downfall of their essentially good but insufferable master by manipulating his love life. Like something out of a Shakespearean comedy :D I'd definitely love to read about their ultimate success.

Thank you for brightening my journal with comment!fic! And awesome comment!fic at that! You should consider making this whole drabble series into a stand-alone fic. Not that I'm pressuring you or anything, but this fandom needs more funny stuff!

Re: this is bad but here you go

[marycontraire]

Dude, I do a lot in comments. I generally try to keep it off of other people's actual fic posts, though. ::chagrin:: And IDEK what it is with me and Dustin, he takes over everything I write even though he was barely in the film.

Re: this is bad but here you go

[sturmundwank]

Don't worry, I don't mind at all! In fact, usually when I finish reading a fic and move on to the comments, I secretly hope that there's some comment!fic in there because I'm not ready to stop reading fic yet. Um, if that makes sense? It probably doesn't. ANYWAY.

Dustin was awesome in the few scenes he was in. He fully deserves your attention. Also, light-hearted fic generally needs light-hearted characters (not always, but they help), and between Mark's existential bitterness and Eduardo's resentment, this fandom is a bit short on light-heartedness.

(I feel like I kind of overused the word 'fic' in my last two comments, but whatevs, people are free to laugh at my vocabulary.)