the problem with fiction (03/10ish)
kris/chanyeol | PG-13
summary: that's right, this is your usual idol oppa/ordinary high school boy story. unless you never read one. you know, you should click the link.
o n e / t w o
chanyeol has never been a picky boy when it comes to sleeping; and it’s a good deed, unlike baekhyun who really, really needs to always bring his beloved mini teddy bear everywhere or else he would stay awake and annoy the hell out of chanyeol.
our protagonist sighs as his eyes adjust to the darkness of exo’s living room. the lights from seoul’s night life are filtering through the chocolate brown curtains, and chanyeol just stays like that on top of an air mattress for a while, playing with the comfy, thin blanket on his chest. exo members have all surrendered to slumber, and it’s fifteen minutes to midnight when suddenly chanyeol has a wild idea to call jongdae. just because.
after remembering YOLO; again, tumblr’s popular language which is an abbreviation for ‘you only live once―finally chanyeol gathers his courage and presses the call button. he’s brave enough to leave gangwon and every single of its familiarity to seoul, pretending to be a very famous idol’s fiancee.
a simple phone call should be way, way easier to deal with.
chanyeol clears his throat when the second ring echoes on his ear.
by the third ring, chanyeol remembers that jongdae has school tomorrow, while he will go shopping with ryeowook-sshi and probably kris, for their upcoming press conference regarding―
jongdae picks up on the seventh ring.
“chanyeol-ah?” he sounds groggy. of course he does, he must have been sleeping.
chanyeol apologizes.
“it’s okay,” jongdae should be smiling softly right now, chanyeol can see the smile in his head. “what is it, chanyeol-ah?”
“ummm...” chanyeol moves to lie on his left side, facing the black sofa, and closes his eyes. “i was just wondering.”
“yes?”
“aboutwhatisaidthismorning.”
a pause.
chanyeol jumps when jongdae’s soft breath is transmitted through the clear signal.
“thank you, chanyeol-ah.” jongdae says nothing more after that, and there's a huge black hole swallowing his heart and everything that defines him as park chanyeol is slowly fading away.
and it hurts.
“um,” chanyeol can only manage to laugh, so he does, because if he tries being all ‘tough guy’ right now he will only do the opposite and he doesn’t want jongdae to feel bad or anything. “um.”
“you have kris wufan, chanyeol-ah, what are you doing?” jongdae says a-matter-of-factly, and chanyeol is thisclose to deny everything.
“um,” he says instead.
“thank you, i really appreciate it. but i want to focus studying for now. maybe we will meet in seoul. you know that i’m aiming for seoul national university, right?”
right.
“um,” chanyeol sniffs. “okay,” his voice breaks, “okay, jongdae-yah. i really, really like you though.”
jongdae lets out a hearty laugh, “thank you.”
(months after months smiling and joking together and creating possibilities about what would he do if he and jongdae were really going to be boyfriends in his pretty little head―watch movies, eat and swim and kiss and hug and kiss some more―everything is gone by a simple thank you?)
chanyeol feels like...well, he doesn’t feel anything by now. he forces another giggle and he whispers a goodbye when jongdae says it first. he instantly curls up into a fetus position and hides his face using the pillow, kicking the blanket off to the floor. he doesn’t even care that he’s suffocated, and as he drifts off to sleep he feels hot tears trailing down his cheeks.
ah, so this is what they always sing in sad songs...
he expects dried tears and snots and dizziness when he wakes up, but surprisingly he feels lighter and warm because the blanket is back covering his body. he touches his face and finds no trace of tears or snots, and on his forehead is a hisamitsu’s bye bye fever patch.
chanyeol wonders who took care of him.
▲▼
they―chanyeol and kris―eat breakfast hurriedly as ryeowook-sshi shrieks that they have tons of things to do today.
“you two!” the older man points at chanyeol, and then at kris. “act close or something whenever we’re on public, understand? we’re going to buy you beautiful engagement rings and new clothes for chanyeol. then we will have a meeting with lee sooman at lunch. the press conference is right on four o’clock this evening. reporters will ask questions, but i already made a perfect scenario so you two better memorize every single words!”
chanyeol must be looking so horrified by the drastic change of exo’s cheerful manager because honestly ryeowook-sshi looks like a tiny tyrant. joonmyun grins and encourages him as he playfully announces that he’s going to get some more sleep. minseok says chanyeol should take snacks with him. kyungsoo then gives him his strawberry pocky stick, and yixing massages his shoulders; singing a chinese pop song. tao is nowhere to be found.
“where’s tao?” chanyeol closes his eyes. yixing does a very good job.
“probably sulking in his room,” yixing answers as he adds more pressure on his fingers, “you know.”
“huh?” chanyeol pouts. he doesn’t know.
“just between you and me,” yixing leans to whisper and chanyeol nods like a puppy. “tao might look scary with those muscles and wushu skill and feline eyes, but actually he’s kris-hyung’s biggest fan. also, he’s got this sensitive heart. so it will take time for him to open up to you. he’s younger than you after all.”
that’s right, tao is a year younger than chanyeol, but that’s not really important because wait―what?
“you meant,” chanyeol widens his eyes, whispering back, “tao has a crushy crush on kris?!”
yixing looks like he approves chanyeol’s dramatic side. he narrows his eyes as he nods like an ahjumma who knows-it-all.
this is not good, chanyeol grimaces.
▲▼
the newest discovery about tao’s feeling for kris is making chanyeol all fidgety on their way to coex mall. ugh, now he doesn’t know how to act when kris and tao are in the same room, because he’s supposed to be all lovey dovey with kris, remember? and thanks to his super imaginative brain; suddenly he’s paranoid that tao will be the antagonist character who stealthily tells reporters about the fake engagement thingy, because his love for kris is too real too pure too tragic and he’s this 'if i can’t have it then NO ONE can’t have it xoxo’ type of boy.
oh.
my.
god.
he holds his head and makes a dying cow sound, “nnnooooo.....”
“are you okay?” kris is looking at him with his usual poker face and hey, it feels like a long time ago.
because his grin is so wide and everything is all good now.
“hehe,” he scrunches his nose, “hi!”
kris frowns―a sign that he’s amused or confused―and scoffs before he goes back to his book.
the odd giddy feeling chanyeol hasn’t been able to put a name on it is coming back again, in a full force, as his brain works hard to try prolonging their conversation.
apparently, his hand works faster than his brain. he taps kris’ left forearm.
“eh,” chanyeol grins sheepishly as kris raises his eyebrows, “what are you reading?” he makes a weird face to cover up his nervousness; folding his lips against his teeth so they disappear.
kris lets chanyeol read the title itself. it’s a self-improvement book, with a leader word there, written in english. chanyeol nods and nods and nods and kris frowns at him, but that’s definitely a hint of smile from the right corner of his mouth.
“yah,” ryeowook-sshi is twisting his body from the passenger seat, shaking his head in disbelief. “what the heck was that! even i can be more lovey dovey with my blackberry!” chanyeol pouts. kris lowers his head. exo manager has been watching their awkward interaction all along.
“chanyeol, aegi,” he points at chanyeol with his blackberry, speaking more calmly, “sit closer to kris, will you, aegi-yah? exo fans have sophisticated cameras you won’t even believe what they can do with those zoom zoom thingies.”
kris does it instead, since chanyeol is still trying to decode kim ryeowook and his bipolarness. chanyeol gasps when their skins collide.
“that’s more like it,” ryeowook-sshi nods and smiles at chanyeol. “what did you usually call your girlfriend or boyfriend before, chanyeolla?”
“um,” chanyeol shakes his head. “i never. um.” by instinct, he turns to kris.
“just hyung will do for now,” kris answers it clearly for them. “i will call chanyeol by his name.”
“hyung is okay, but you can’t just call chanyeolla chanyeol!” ryeowook-sshi suddenly shrieks as the sedan stops for a red light. the driver holds back a laugh.
chanyeol doesn’t though. and he blushes when kris stares at him blankly for laughing at an elderly.
“i’m-i’m sorry.” chanyeol scrunches his nose, and shrinks back to the leather seat.
ryeowook-sshi weakly slaps the driver’s chest and forgives chanyeol. and then he continues, “kris, try calling chanyeol with a more intimate nickname. you two are engaged, after all.”
kris sighs. he puts his book and leans his head back to the seat, exposing his long column of neck and his sharp adam apple. chanyeol blinks.
ryeowook-sshi goes back to his blackberry, facing the right way.
chanyeol is still blinking, looking at the creature next to him. so this is why those fangirls call kris ‘krisus’; kris + jesus. god. chanyeol now gets it.
“hyung,” kris clicks his tongue, addressing ryeowook-sshi, “i can’t think of anything. i don’t give petnames, okay?”
“nonsense!” ryeowook-sshi doesn’t bother to twist his body again.
“but ryeowook-sshi,” chanyeol’s mouth also works faster than his brain. “uhhh, i can’t imagine it if kris-s―hyung―calls me with petnames either.”
“why?!” ryeowook-sshi whines, making a sad face at chanyeol for objecting his idea.
chanyeol pouts, “it’s weird! kris-hyung is so, so coooooool in his fans’ eyes. i don’t want to ruin it! besides, my name is cute enough!”
the driver laughs uncontrollably at that, and even kris openly smiles at him. chanyeol knows how red his face is right now, but please god, please bring ryeowook-sshi back on track. he doesn’t want to embarrass kris with such silly petname matter!
“fiiiiine,” ryeowook-sshi pouts too, “it’s just because you’re slowly climbing to be my favorite, chanyeollie, remember that. and don’t you dare disappointing me!”
“yes, sir!” chanyeol straightens his back and salutes exo’s manager with a wide grin. kris shakes his head―amused, chanyeol is sure of that―before he goes back to his english self improvement book.
they arrive at the coex mall at the slowest business hour; but that’s how ryeowook-sshi wants it. kris wears a baseball cap that almost covers half of his face, and when he gets off of the car first, he holds out his hand.
chanyeol is busy checking his hair on the rearview mirror and absentmindedly takes the offered hand. he hops out and squints his eyes to the sky. seoul’s and gangwon’s sky is not that different, huh?
they’re on the upper level parking lot, and it’s fairly empty. the wind is quite strong so chanyeol uses his free hand to shield his perfectly combed hair. ryeowook-sshi and the driver are walking ahead of them, chatting animatedly. chanyeol thinks that there’s something weird about them―their body languages―but he quickly forgets about the two as he realizes why his other hand isn’t available.
he tugs off his hand. they stare into each other’s eyes, not saying anything, and chanyeol in the end bites his bottom lip and makes a pleading expression as he uses both hands to shield his hair,
“nggggg, i don’twanttoruinmyhair.”
without missing a beat, kris takes off his own baseball cap and puts it gently on chanyeol’s head. then he laces their fingers together and calls for ryeowook-sshi to hold the elevator. once inside, ryeowook-sshi claps excitedly seeing their joined hands; such a nice progression!
“are you okay?” kris asks chanyeol as he reclaims his baseball cap again and pets chanyeol’s not disheveled hair. he presses a large palm to chanyeol’s forehead.
“is chanyeol sick?!” ryeowook-sshi’s shriek is echoing in the cubicle and chanyeol flinches. the driver shakes his head warningly at ryeowook-sshi, who nods like a puppy. “baby-yah are you sick?” ryeowook-sshi opts to whisper.
“he had a slight fever,” kris answers, and as chanyeol gapes he turns away to make the usual ‘aish!’ face like chanyeol always watches actors do on dramas.
don’t tell him...
“oh! but you’re feeling better now, baby-yah?” ryeowook-sshi asks again to make sure, and chanyeol flashes a quick reassuring smile before his brain is back to flail over kris’ accidental revelation.
▲▼
but for the rest of their shopping escapade, kris doesn’t say a word. in fact, he seems to be avoiding chanyeol. he only talks to the mysterious driver who is actually a PD on MBC every1 and ryeowook-sshi’s boyfriend for five years.
chanyeol tries to win kris’ attention by asking the older boy’s opinion about the white dress shirt and the printed red t-shirt and a pair of black boots but kris doesn’t even look at him in the eye. chanyeol pouts and buys everything, it’s all free anyway.
when they’re on forever21, kris is nowhere at sight. chanyeol grows bored of shopping after two hours straight and six shopping bags full with new dress shirts, shoes, jeans, and t-shirts. he quietly tiptoes away from ryeowook-sshi and his boyfriend’s supervision and decides he’s just going to leech himself to kris’ side. he thinks he has a vague idea that yeah, it was kris who took care of him, but he needs to confirm it! although he doesn’t really know how that will change their...relationship.
kris is leaning against the wall of a deserted corridor leading to the restrooms, talking quietly to his phone. he doesn’t see chanyeol approaching yet, too engrossed with the conversation.
chanyeol sneaks his arm to the crook of kris’ left elbow.
kris doesn’t flinch or even move the slightest; but the frown on his face is enough to tell chanyeol that he’s surprised.
“...what, ma?” he’s talking in english. “i told you it’s all fixed. you don’t have to worry. if your friends ask about it, tell them i’m engaged to―yes you better take a note. park c-h-a-n-y-e-o-l. yes, c-h-a-n, yes, ma. what?” kris pauses to look at chanyeol who’s got a maniacal grin on his face.
“do you understand english?” kris asks. “my umma is dying to talk to you.”
chanyeol touches his cheek with a hand, feeling flattered. he just shrugs and nods and takes kris’ phone.
“annyeonghaseyo!” he giggles. “my name is park chanyeol!” a standard english, alright, but chanyeol seeks for kris’ approval anyway.
that’s definitely a hint of smile from the right corner of kris’ mouth.
“aaah, nggg, i am seventeen years old!” chanyeol quirks his eyebrows in concentration because suddenly kris' umma is exclaiming and calling god after she hears chanyeol’s age. chanyeol hopes she’s okay.
“uh oh,” chanyeol gives kris his phone back, after she sweetly asks chanyeol to do so.
then, kris does flinch at whatever his umma is telling him.
“are you really going to lecture me right now, ma? what. no i’m not trying to get smart on you, ma.” kris closes his eyes. chanyeol wishes he can understand what’s going on. but he can’t, so he takes kris’ hand and squeezes it.
kris squeezes back, and chanyeol is glad. at least he can make his fake fiancee feel his sincerity.
“listen, it was my fault, okay? i’m not planning to fuck up even more after everything. i will never be able to pay him back, ma, i’m aware of that fact. i need your support, okay, i don’t want to hurt him.” kris shakes his head after a pause. “i understand. i’m so sorry. yes, ma. i miss you too. i have to go now. i'm sorry for my language. yes. tomorrow you will find the news about the press conference. what? i’ll have it in a couple of hours. what?”
chanyeol blushes when kris’ scrutinizing gaze falls upon him. he scrunches his nose and pouts before he inspects the shiny floor.
“don’t be fooled by his scary voice, ma, chanyeol is the cute son you always wanted me to be.” kris laughs wholeheartedly and relaxes his shoulders. “you know it very well i suck at being adorable. seriously ma, i have to go. let’s have skype this weekend. sure, i will tell him. bye, ma. i love you.”
“bye bye mooooom.” chanyeol chimes.
kris looks at him in disbelief; still in an euphoria mode, as proved by chanyeol’s totally observant opinion.
“unbelievable.” kris mutters as he sticks his index finger to chanyeol’s left dimple and casually walks them back to meet with ryeowook-sshi (who has a mental breakdown because he thought he lost his babies).
they have lunch at the pizza hut; the waitress serving them blushes when she recognizes kris. she asks for an autograph on a napkin, and chanyeol grins the whole time because so this is how idols live!
the waitress finally takes notice of him and she gasps, “k-kris-sshi is he the boy on that photo!?”
kris, ryeowook-sshi, and ryeowook-sshi’s boyfriend are all going rigid. chanyeol tilts his head and gives the endearing waitress a blinding smile.
“annyeooong!” he says to her, and she looks like she's thisclose to burst into tears.
ryeowook-sshi visibly sighs in relief, and he helps the waitress to get chanyeol’s autograph too. she bows at them and squeals, “you’re so cute, chanyeol-sshi! hwaiting!”
“kris you need to watch out,” ryeowook-sshi’s boyfriend comments with his husky voice after she leaves, “chanyeolla is going to steal your spotlight soon.”
chanyeol high fives ryeowook-sshi’s boyfriend happily.
▲▼
they only have thirty minutes to shower before they have to go to SM building. since the schedule is messed up and they still need to memorize ‘the scenario’.
lee sooman only takes a quick look at chanyeol from head to toe, shakes chanyeol's hand in a professional way and says,
“you’ll do good, boy, you’ll do good. if you need anything, don’t ever hesitate to tell ryeowook-sshi. say, are you interested in―”
“sajangnim!” ryeowook-sshi cuts his boss with a shriek and then he does a telepathy with the older man. lee sooman nods after awhile and smiles at chanyeol.
“i would like to go to your parents’ hot spring, chanyeol-goon.” lee sooman nods his head and chanyeol beams.
then the CEO turns to kris, who immediately stands a foot taller.
“don’t screw things even more, kris. i still have my faith on you.” kris frowns but he doesn’t answer. “take a good care of chanyeol-goon, if something ever happens to him, i’d be the first one to know about it. and you know what i do if my people disappoint me.”
it’s chanyeol who can't breathe. he wonders if people from SM entertainment all have bipolar disorder issues; because is this really the smiley old man who wants to visit his parents’ hot spring and cottage? he pouts and unconsciously scoots closer to grasp kris’ trembling hand.
...
the exo godlike leader can be frightened too?
chanyeol doesn’t like it.
“awww lee sooman-ahjusshi...don’t scare kris-hyung like that!” weirdly enough, chanyeol doesn’t regret his filter free mouth and continues as everybody else in the room is dying to make him stop (but not brave enough to do so.)
“i’m sure kris-hyung will take care of me, i had a fever this morning but he got me a bye bye fever patch and wiped my snotty face clean! and he did all of it without me knowing!” he giggles as he whispers his next sentence, “he accidentally told me though.”
“very well!” lee sooman chuckles and raises an eyebrow to kris, who is closing his eyes as if he wants the earth to swallow him down and never returns.
lee sooman pats chanyeol’s chest before they head out to another meeting room to start reading the script ryeowook-sshi had prepared.
but kris doesn’t respond to chanyeol’s attempt to discuss about the script, and chanyeol gives up and rehearses with ryeowook-sshi instead.
the script says that chanyeol and kris' first meeting was,
“last year, before exo debuted. exo came to my parents’ hot spring and cottage to relax from intense training sessions. nothing happened on our first encounter.”
the script says that chanyeol and kris fell in love because,
“because on the second visit, we had more time to get to know each other. we exchanged numbers, and not long after, exo debuted. right after exo debuted on inkigayo, kris called me and asked me to date him. i said yes because he looked so cool on stage.”
the script says how chanyeol and kris have been handling the long distance relationship,
“with texts, phone calls, skype...and if kris has free time he occasionally flies alone to gangwon to visit me. he always brings the newest games for me.”
the script says when did kris propose to chanyeol,
“right after summer holiday ended. my parents like kris not because he’s an idol, but because they see enough how much kris l-l-loves me.”
the script says why the photo leaked,
“it was a joke. um, my friend was too excited to find us in a compromising position and didn’t think much. he had deleted his twitter. on this special occasion, i also want to apologize if the photo seems inappropriate for south korea’s public.”
“perfect, chanyeol-ah, you’re so perfect!” ryeowook-sshi wipes invisible dust on chanyeol’s brand new light pink shirt. it’s about an hour before the press conference.
“ryeowook-sshi it won’t take long, right? you’ll be there to help me if i get nervous, right?” chanyeol whines. “maybe i should just pretend that it’s the same like i was on stage.”
“you’ve been on stage, aegi?” ryeowook-sshi fishes out a wooden comb from his suit’s pocket and proceeds to do chanyeol’s hair.
“just a school play, i was lee myeongryeong!” chanyeol grins. “how should i smile to the cameras?”
“just be yourself, aegi, the press will love you i’m sure. and i will be there, kris will be there, so don’t stop fighting, alright!” ryeowook-sshi pats his hair. he checks his expensive looking watch and gasps, “where’s jongwoon! you guys need the rings asap!” he storms out of the meeting room, leaving chanyeol and kris alone.
chanyeol plays an old version of angry birds on his phone. he vocalizes his frustration and triumph but soon exceeds his own previous top score. he takes a good look at kris, and the older boy is still memorizing the script, a bead of sweat is threatening to fall from his temple.
chanyeol takes a ply of tissue from ryeowook-sshi’s fancy handbag and gently dabs on kris’ temple.
kris catches his wrist.
“uwaaa~” chanyeol gasps.
“are you doing okay?” kris asks indifferently like always, lowering chanyeol’s hand and stroking each knuckles. “do you need anything?”
chanyeol seats himself on the table and swings his legs as he nods, “i’m perfect, like ryeowook-sshi said! hehe, how about you, hyung?”
kris smiles and smiles and smiles and that’s the longest of him to ever smile like that and chanyeol blushes.
“how are you even real?” kris says in english as he lightly tickles chanyeol’s waist. chanyeol squeaks and tries to get away, but he only ends up spreading his legs right on either side of the chair where kris is sitting.
they both freeze.
chanyeol gulps at the realization that he doesn’t want to move.
but then the images from that fateful night are flooding his brain like waves after waves of tsunami and chanyeol―who still doesn’t want to move―closes his eyes and fights his inner battle.
he’s saved by a pair of cold hands touching his face.
kris is staring at him like he knows what’s happening. and somehow chanyeol is already familiar with that look on kris wufan’s handsome face.
that's a remorse.
“chanyeol-ah,” kris’ voice is barely a whisper, “do you trust me?”
chanyeol grips hard on kris’ wrists; not wanting the comforting hands to let go but he’s quite scared with what those hands are capable of. he tries to regulate his breathing first before he answers,
“w-what are you going to―” but he can’t finish his question anyway.
“i―” kris sighs, “i need to hug you. can i hug you?” he blinks. “will you let me?”
chanyeol thinks his eyes are tricking him, but somehow kris looks so small and the way he subtly pleads for chanyeol to give him a chance―
chanyeol guides kris’ hands to rest on his waist. he closes his eyes as kris’ palms make contact with his clothed skin. kris inhales deeply before he shifts his chair closer to the edge of the table; closer and closer and closer and then chanyeol shudders when kris hugs his waist like he’s made by porcelain.
kris is pressing his face to chanyeol’s stomach, his sharp nose and chin are a reminder for chanyeol to get conscious about what’s really happening. his own arms are limp on his side, as he’s still having quite a rough time to decipher everything all at once.
he stays frozen until kris mumbles, his words are hot on chanyeol’s skin;
“can you hug me back?”
chanyeol splutters, tensing up, and he pushes at kris’ shoulders weakly. but that’s enough to make kris scooting away to the other side of the room.
“i’m so sorry,” kris frowns and he’s not looking at chanyeol. “i’m really, really sorry.”
chanyeol doesn’t like it when kris wufan looks so insecure, it’s just wrong and it breaks his heart.
and maybe he himself needs to get over that fateful night and starts to learn accepting kris’ unusual form of apology.
kris runs a hand through his hair before he makes a move to get up, but chanyeol yells,
“wait!”
kris frowns, glancing at chanyeol for a second before darting off his eyes again.
“i-i’m so sorry,” chanyeol playfully pouts as he goes to kris' side and catch kris’ hands; sliding their palms together. “can you hug me one more time? i promise i will hug you back!”
kris has this unreadable frowning face after chanyeol shuts his mouth; and chanyeol just wishes his frantic heartbeats won’t scare the older boy to just go ahead and hug him all he wants.
kris asks, “are you sure?” but he still sounds so small.
chanyeol nods a little bit too eagerly.
they're standing face to face now.
but as he plays with the hair on kris’ nape, as kris hesitantly strokes his lower back in return; footsteps and laughter are bombarding the meeting room and kris is so quick to detach himself from any body contact with chanyeol.
joonmyun gives kris a suspicious glare when he notices chanyeol’s redredred face though, and tao is still sulking; eyeing chanyeol from behind his black fringe.
chanyeol tries to concentrate on yixing and minseok’s jokes instead of the burning yet invisible fingerprints kris has marked on his skin.
to be c o n t i n u e d
summary: that's right, this is your usual idol oppa/ordinary high school boy story. unless you never read one. you know, you should click the link.
o n e / t w o
chanyeol has never been a picky boy when it comes to sleeping; and it’s a good deed, unlike baekhyun who really, really needs to always bring his beloved mini teddy bear everywhere or else he would stay awake and annoy the hell out of chanyeol.
our protagonist sighs as his eyes adjust to the darkness of exo’s living room. the lights from seoul’s night life are filtering through the chocolate brown curtains, and chanyeol just stays like that on top of an air mattress for a while, playing with the comfy, thin blanket on his chest. exo members have all surrendered to slumber, and it’s fifteen minutes to midnight when suddenly chanyeol has a wild idea to call jongdae. just because.
after remembering YOLO; again, tumblr’s popular language which is an abbreviation for ‘you only live once―finally chanyeol gathers his courage and presses the call button. he’s brave enough to leave gangwon and every single of its familiarity to seoul, pretending to be a very famous idol’s fiancee.
a simple phone call should be way, way easier to deal with.
chanyeol clears his throat when the second ring echoes on his ear.
by the third ring, chanyeol remembers that jongdae has school tomorrow, while he will go shopping with ryeowook-sshi and probably kris, for their upcoming press conference regarding―
jongdae picks up on the seventh ring.
“chanyeol-ah?” he sounds groggy. of course he does, he must have been sleeping.
chanyeol apologizes.
“it’s okay,” jongdae should be smiling softly right now, chanyeol can see the smile in his head. “what is it, chanyeol-ah?”
“ummm...” chanyeol moves to lie on his left side, facing the black sofa, and closes his eyes. “i was just wondering.”
“yes?”
“aboutwhatisaidthismorning.”
a pause.
chanyeol jumps when jongdae’s soft breath is transmitted through the clear signal.
“thank you, chanyeol-ah.” jongdae says nothing more after that, and there's a huge black hole swallowing his heart and everything that defines him as park chanyeol is slowly fading away.
and it hurts.
“um,” chanyeol can only manage to laugh, so he does, because if he tries being all ‘tough guy’ right now he will only do the opposite and he doesn’t want jongdae to feel bad or anything. “um.”
“you have kris wufan, chanyeol-ah, what are you doing?” jongdae says a-matter-of-factly, and chanyeol is thisclose to deny everything.
“um,” he says instead.
“thank you, i really appreciate it. but i want to focus studying for now. maybe we will meet in seoul. you know that i’m aiming for seoul national university, right?”
right.
“um,” chanyeol sniffs. “okay,” his voice breaks, “okay, jongdae-yah. i really, really like you though.”
jongdae lets out a hearty laugh, “thank you.”
(months after months smiling and joking together and creating possibilities about what would he do if he and jongdae were really going to be boyfriends in his pretty little head―watch movies, eat and swim and kiss and hug and kiss some more―everything is gone by a simple thank you?)
chanyeol feels like...well, he doesn’t feel anything by now. he forces another giggle and he whispers a goodbye when jongdae says it first. he instantly curls up into a fetus position and hides his face using the pillow, kicking the blanket off to the floor. he doesn’t even care that he’s suffocated, and as he drifts off to sleep he feels hot tears trailing down his cheeks.
ah, so this is what they always sing in sad songs...
he expects dried tears and snots and dizziness when he wakes up, but surprisingly he feels lighter and warm because the blanket is back covering his body. he touches his face and finds no trace of tears or snots, and on his forehead is a hisamitsu’s bye bye fever patch.
chanyeol wonders who took care of him.
▲▼
they―chanyeol and kris―eat breakfast hurriedly as ryeowook-sshi shrieks that they have tons of things to do today.
“you two!” the older man points at chanyeol, and then at kris. “act close or something whenever we’re on public, understand? we’re going to buy you beautiful engagement rings and new clothes for chanyeol. then we will have a meeting with lee sooman at lunch. the press conference is right on four o’clock this evening. reporters will ask questions, but i already made a perfect scenario so you two better memorize every single words!”
chanyeol must be looking so horrified by the drastic change of exo’s cheerful manager because honestly ryeowook-sshi looks like a tiny tyrant. joonmyun grins and encourages him as he playfully announces that he’s going to get some more sleep. minseok says chanyeol should take snacks with him. kyungsoo then gives him his strawberry pocky stick, and yixing massages his shoulders; singing a chinese pop song. tao is nowhere to be found.
“where’s tao?” chanyeol closes his eyes. yixing does a very good job.
“probably sulking in his room,” yixing answers as he adds more pressure on his fingers, “you know.”
“huh?” chanyeol pouts. he doesn’t know.
“just between you and me,” yixing leans to whisper and chanyeol nods like a puppy. “tao might look scary with those muscles and wushu skill and feline eyes, but actually he’s kris-hyung’s biggest fan. also, he’s got this sensitive heart. so it will take time for him to open up to you. he’s younger than you after all.”
that’s right, tao is a year younger than chanyeol, but that’s not really important because wait―what?
“you meant,” chanyeol widens his eyes, whispering back, “tao has a crushy crush on kris?!”
yixing looks like he approves chanyeol’s dramatic side. he narrows his eyes as he nods like an ahjumma who knows-it-all.
this is not good, chanyeol grimaces.
▲▼
the newest discovery about tao’s feeling for kris is making chanyeol all fidgety on their way to coex mall. ugh, now he doesn’t know how to act when kris and tao are in the same room, because he’s supposed to be all lovey dovey with kris, remember? and thanks to his super imaginative brain; suddenly he’s paranoid that tao will be the antagonist character who stealthily tells reporters about the fake engagement thingy, because his love for kris is too real too pure too tragic and he’s this 'if i can’t have it then NO ONE can’t have it xoxo’ type of boy.
oh.
my.
god.
he holds his head and makes a dying cow sound, “nnnooooo.....”
“are you okay?” kris is looking at him with his usual poker face and hey, it feels like a long time ago.
because his grin is so wide and everything is all good now.
“hehe,” he scrunches his nose, “hi!”
kris frowns―a sign that he’s amused or confused―and scoffs before he goes back to his book.
the odd giddy feeling chanyeol hasn’t been able to put a name on it is coming back again, in a full force, as his brain works hard to try prolonging their conversation.
apparently, his hand works faster than his brain. he taps kris’ left forearm.
“eh,” chanyeol grins sheepishly as kris raises his eyebrows, “what are you reading?” he makes a weird face to cover up his nervousness; folding his lips against his teeth so they disappear.
kris lets chanyeol read the title itself. it’s a self-improvement book, with a leader word there, written in english. chanyeol nods and nods and nods and kris frowns at him, but that’s definitely a hint of smile from the right corner of his mouth.
“yah,” ryeowook-sshi is twisting his body from the passenger seat, shaking his head in disbelief. “what the heck was that! even i can be more lovey dovey with my blackberry!” chanyeol pouts. kris lowers his head. exo manager has been watching their awkward interaction all along.
“chanyeol, aegi,” he points at chanyeol with his blackberry, speaking more calmly, “sit closer to kris, will you, aegi-yah? exo fans have sophisticated cameras you won’t even believe what they can do with those zoom zoom thingies.”
kris does it instead, since chanyeol is still trying to decode kim ryeowook and his bipolarness. chanyeol gasps when their skins collide.
“that’s more like it,” ryeowook-sshi nods and smiles at chanyeol. “what did you usually call your girlfriend or boyfriend before, chanyeolla?”
“um,” chanyeol shakes his head. “i never. um.” by instinct, he turns to kris.
“just hyung will do for now,” kris answers it clearly for them. “i will call chanyeol by his name.”
“hyung is okay, but you can’t just call chanyeolla chanyeol!” ryeowook-sshi suddenly shrieks as the sedan stops for a red light. the driver holds back a laugh.
chanyeol doesn’t though. and he blushes when kris stares at him blankly for laughing at an elderly.
“i’m-i’m sorry.” chanyeol scrunches his nose, and shrinks back to the leather seat.
ryeowook-sshi weakly slaps the driver’s chest and forgives chanyeol. and then he continues, “kris, try calling chanyeol with a more intimate nickname. you two are engaged, after all.”
kris sighs. he puts his book and leans his head back to the seat, exposing his long column of neck and his sharp adam apple. chanyeol blinks.
ryeowook-sshi goes back to his blackberry, facing the right way.
chanyeol is still blinking, looking at the creature next to him. so this is why those fangirls call kris ‘krisus’; kris + jesus. god. chanyeol now gets it.
“hyung,” kris clicks his tongue, addressing ryeowook-sshi, “i can’t think of anything. i don’t give petnames, okay?”
“nonsense!” ryeowook-sshi doesn’t bother to twist his body again.
“but ryeowook-sshi,” chanyeol’s mouth also works faster than his brain. “uhhh, i can’t imagine it if kris-s―hyung―calls me with petnames either.”
“why?!” ryeowook-sshi whines, making a sad face at chanyeol for objecting his idea.
chanyeol pouts, “it’s weird! kris-hyung is so, so coooooool in his fans’ eyes. i don’t want to ruin it! besides, my name is cute enough!”
the driver laughs uncontrollably at that, and even kris openly smiles at him. chanyeol knows how red his face is right now, but please god, please bring ryeowook-sshi back on track. he doesn’t want to embarrass kris with such silly petname matter!
“fiiiiine,” ryeowook-sshi pouts too, “it’s just because you’re slowly climbing to be my favorite, chanyeollie, remember that. and don’t you dare disappointing me!”
“yes, sir!” chanyeol straightens his back and salutes exo’s manager with a wide grin. kris shakes his head―amused, chanyeol is sure of that―before he goes back to his english self improvement book.
they arrive at the coex mall at the slowest business hour; but that’s how ryeowook-sshi wants it. kris wears a baseball cap that almost covers half of his face, and when he gets off of the car first, he holds out his hand.
chanyeol is busy checking his hair on the rearview mirror and absentmindedly takes the offered hand. he hops out and squints his eyes to the sky. seoul’s and gangwon’s sky is not that different, huh?
they’re on the upper level parking lot, and it’s fairly empty. the wind is quite strong so chanyeol uses his free hand to shield his perfectly combed hair. ryeowook-sshi and the driver are walking ahead of them, chatting animatedly. chanyeol thinks that there’s something weird about them―their body languages―but he quickly forgets about the two as he realizes why his other hand isn’t available.
he tugs off his hand. they stare into each other’s eyes, not saying anything, and chanyeol in the end bites his bottom lip and makes a pleading expression as he uses both hands to shield his hair,
“nggggg, i don’twanttoruinmyhair.”
without missing a beat, kris takes off his own baseball cap and puts it gently on chanyeol’s head. then he laces their fingers together and calls for ryeowook-sshi to hold the elevator. once inside, ryeowook-sshi claps excitedly seeing their joined hands; such a nice progression!
“are you okay?” kris asks chanyeol as he reclaims his baseball cap again and pets chanyeol’s not disheveled hair. he presses a large palm to chanyeol’s forehead.
“is chanyeol sick?!” ryeowook-sshi’s shriek is echoing in the cubicle and chanyeol flinches. the driver shakes his head warningly at ryeowook-sshi, who nods like a puppy. “baby-yah are you sick?” ryeowook-sshi opts to whisper.
“he had a slight fever,” kris answers, and as chanyeol gapes he turns away to make the usual ‘aish!’ face like chanyeol always watches actors do on dramas.
don’t tell him...
“oh! but you’re feeling better now, baby-yah?” ryeowook-sshi asks again to make sure, and chanyeol flashes a quick reassuring smile before his brain is back to flail over kris’ accidental revelation.
▲▼
but for the rest of their shopping escapade, kris doesn’t say a word. in fact, he seems to be avoiding chanyeol. he only talks to the mysterious driver who is actually a PD on MBC every1 and ryeowook-sshi’s boyfriend for five years.
chanyeol tries to win kris’ attention by asking the older boy’s opinion about the white dress shirt and the printed red t-shirt and a pair of black boots but kris doesn’t even look at him in the eye. chanyeol pouts and buys everything, it’s all free anyway.
when they’re on forever21, kris is nowhere at sight. chanyeol grows bored of shopping after two hours straight and six shopping bags full with new dress shirts, shoes, jeans, and t-shirts. he quietly tiptoes away from ryeowook-sshi and his boyfriend’s supervision and decides he’s just going to leech himself to kris’ side. he thinks he has a vague idea that yeah, it was kris who took care of him, but he needs to confirm it! although he doesn’t really know how that will change their...relationship.
kris is leaning against the wall of a deserted corridor leading to the restrooms, talking quietly to his phone. he doesn’t see chanyeol approaching yet, too engrossed with the conversation.
chanyeol sneaks his arm to the crook of kris’ left elbow.
kris doesn’t flinch or even move the slightest; but the frown on his face is enough to tell chanyeol that he’s surprised.
“...what, ma?” he’s talking in english. “i told you it’s all fixed. you don’t have to worry. if your friends ask about it, tell them i’m engaged to―yes you better take a note. park c-h-a-n-y-e-o-l. yes, c-h-a-n, yes, ma. what?” kris pauses to look at chanyeol who’s got a maniacal grin on his face.
“do you understand english?” kris asks. “my umma is dying to talk to you.”
chanyeol touches his cheek with a hand, feeling flattered. he just shrugs and nods and takes kris’ phone.
“annyeonghaseyo!” he giggles. “my name is park chanyeol!” a standard english, alright, but chanyeol seeks for kris’ approval anyway.
that’s definitely a hint of smile from the right corner of kris’ mouth.
“aaah, nggg, i am seventeen years old!” chanyeol quirks his eyebrows in concentration because suddenly kris' umma is exclaiming and calling god after she hears chanyeol’s age. chanyeol hopes she’s okay.
“uh oh,” chanyeol gives kris his phone back, after she sweetly asks chanyeol to do so.
then, kris does flinch at whatever his umma is telling him.
“are you really going to lecture me right now, ma? what. no i’m not trying to get smart on you, ma.” kris closes his eyes. chanyeol wishes he can understand what’s going on. but he can’t, so he takes kris’ hand and squeezes it.
kris squeezes back, and chanyeol is glad. at least he can make his fake fiancee feel his sincerity.
“listen, it was my fault, okay? i’m not planning to fuck up even more after everything. i will never be able to pay him back, ma, i’m aware of that fact. i need your support, okay, i don’t want to hurt him.” kris shakes his head after a pause. “i understand. i’m so sorry. yes, ma. i miss you too. i have to go now. i'm sorry for my language. yes. tomorrow you will find the news about the press conference. what? i’ll have it in a couple of hours. what?”
chanyeol blushes when kris’ scrutinizing gaze falls upon him. he scrunches his nose and pouts before he inspects the shiny floor.
“don’t be fooled by his scary voice, ma, chanyeol is the cute son you always wanted me to be.” kris laughs wholeheartedly and relaxes his shoulders. “you know it very well i suck at being adorable. seriously ma, i have to go. let’s have skype this weekend. sure, i will tell him. bye, ma. i love you.”
“bye bye mooooom.” chanyeol chimes.
kris looks at him in disbelief; still in an euphoria mode, as proved by chanyeol’s totally observant opinion.
“unbelievable.” kris mutters as he sticks his index finger to chanyeol’s left dimple and casually walks them back to meet with ryeowook-sshi (who has a mental breakdown because he thought he lost his babies).
they have lunch at the pizza hut; the waitress serving them blushes when she recognizes kris. she asks for an autograph on a napkin, and chanyeol grins the whole time because so this is how idols live!
the waitress finally takes notice of him and she gasps, “k-kris-sshi is he the boy on that photo!?”
kris, ryeowook-sshi, and ryeowook-sshi’s boyfriend are all going rigid. chanyeol tilts his head and gives the endearing waitress a blinding smile.
“annyeooong!” he says to her, and she looks like she's thisclose to burst into tears.
ryeowook-sshi visibly sighs in relief, and he helps the waitress to get chanyeol’s autograph too. she bows at them and squeals, “you’re so cute, chanyeol-sshi! hwaiting!”
“kris you need to watch out,” ryeowook-sshi’s boyfriend comments with his husky voice after she leaves, “chanyeolla is going to steal your spotlight soon.”
chanyeol high fives ryeowook-sshi’s boyfriend happily.
▲▼
they only have thirty minutes to shower before they have to go to SM building. since the schedule is messed up and they still need to memorize ‘the scenario’.
lee sooman only takes a quick look at chanyeol from head to toe, shakes chanyeol's hand in a professional way and says,
“you’ll do good, boy, you’ll do good. if you need anything, don’t ever hesitate to tell ryeowook-sshi. say, are you interested in―”
“sajangnim!” ryeowook-sshi cuts his boss with a shriek and then he does a telepathy with the older man. lee sooman nods after awhile and smiles at chanyeol.
“i would like to go to your parents’ hot spring, chanyeol-goon.” lee sooman nods his head and chanyeol beams.
then the CEO turns to kris, who immediately stands a foot taller.
“don’t screw things even more, kris. i still have my faith on you.” kris frowns but he doesn’t answer. “take a good care of chanyeol-goon, if something ever happens to him, i’d be the first one to know about it. and you know what i do if my people disappoint me.”
it’s chanyeol who can't breathe. he wonders if people from SM entertainment all have bipolar disorder issues; because is this really the smiley old man who wants to visit his parents’ hot spring and cottage? he pouts and unconsciously scoots closer to grasp kris’ trembling hand.
...
the exo godlike leader can be frightened too?
chanyeol doesn’t like it.
“awww lee sooman-ahjusshi...don’t scare kris-hyung like that!” weirdly enough, chanyeol doesn’t regret his filter free mouth and continues as everybody else in the room is dying to make him stop (but not brave enough to do so.)
“i’m sure kris-hyung will take care of me, i had a fever this morning but he got me a bye bye fever patch and wiped my snotty face clean! and he did all of it without me knowing!” he giggles as he whispers his next sentence, “he accidentally told me though.”
“very well!” lee sooman chuckles and raises an eyebrow to kris, who is closing his eyes as if he wants the earth to swallow him down and never returns.
lee sooman pats chanyeol’s chest before they head out to another meeting room to start reading the script ryeowook-sshi had prepared.
but kris doesn’t respond to chanyeol’s attempt to discuss about the script, and chanyeol gives up and rehearses with ryeowook-sshi instead.
the script says that chanyeol and kris' first meeting was,
“last year, before exo debuted. exo came to my parents’ hot spring and cottage to relax from intense training sessions. nothing happened on our first encounter.”
the script says that chanyeol and kris fell in love because,
“because on the second visit, we had more time to get to know each other. we exchanged numbers, and not long after, exo debuted. right after exo debuted on inkigayo, kris called me and asked me to date him. i said yes because he looked so cool on stage.”
the script says how chanyeol and kris have been handling the long distance relationship,
“with texts, phone calls, skype...and if kris has free time he occasionally flies alone to gangwon to visit me. he always brings the newest games for me.”
the script says when did kris propose to chanyeol,
“right after summer holiday ended. my parents like kris not because he’s an idol, but because they see enough how much kris l-l-loves me.”
the script says why the photo leaked,
“it was a joke. um, my friend was too excited to find us in a compromising position and didn’t think much. he had deleted his twitter. on this special occasion, i also want to apologize if the photo seems inappropriate for south korea’s public.”
“perfect, chanyeol-ah, you’re so perfect!” ryeowook-sshi wipes invisible dust on chanyeol’s brand new light pink shirt. it’s about an hour before the press conference.
“ryeowook-sshi it won’t take long, right? you’ll be there to help me if i get nervous, right?” chanyeol whines. “maybe i should just pretend that it’s the same like i was on stage.”
“you’ve been on stage, aegi?” ryeowook-sshi fishes out a wooden comb from his suit’s pocket and proceeds to do chanyeol’s hair.
“just a school play, i was lee myeongryeong!” chanyeol grins. “how should i smile to the cameras?”
“just be yourself, aegi, the press will love you i’m sure. and i will be there, kris will be there, so don’t stop fighting, alright!” ryeowook-sshi pats his hair. he checks his expensive looking watch and gasps, “where’s jongwoon! you guys need the rings asap!” he storms out of the meeting room, leaving chanyeol and kris alone.
chanyeol plays an old version of angry birds on his phone. he vocalizes his frustration and triumph but soon exceeds his own previous top score. he takes a good look at kris, and the older boy is still memorizing the script, a bead of sweat is threatening to fall from his temple.
chanyeol takes a ply of tissue from ryeowook-sshi’s fancy handbag and gently dabs on kris’ temple.
kris catches his wrist.
“uwaaa~” chanyeol gasps.
“are you doing okay?” kris asks indifferently like always, lowering chanyeol’s hand and stroking each knuckles. “do you need anything?”
chanyeol seats himself on the table and swings his legs as he nods, “i’m perfect, like ryeowook-sshi said! hehe, how about you, hyung?”
kris smiles and smiles and smiles and that’s the longest of him to ever smile like that and chanyeol blushes.
“how are you even real?” kris says in english as he lightly tickles chanyeol’s waist. chanyeol squeaks and tries to get away, but he only ends up spreading his legs right on either side of the chair where kris is sitting.
they both freeze.
chanyeol gulps at the realization that he doesn’t want to move.
but then the images from that fateful night are flooding his brain like waves after waves of tsunami and chanyeol―who still doesn’t want to move―closes his eyes and fights his inner battle.
he’s saved by a pair of cold hands touching his face.
kris is staring at him like he knows what’s happening. and somehow chanyeol is already familiar with that look on kris wufan’s handsome face.
that's a remorse.
“chanyeol-ah,” kris’ voice is barely a whisper, “do you trust me?”
chanyeol grips hard on kris’ wrists; not wanting the comforting hands to let go but he’s quite scared with what those hands are capable of. he tries to regulate his breathing first before he answers,
“w-what are you going to―” but he can’t finish his question anyway.
“i―” kris sighs, “i need to hug you. can i hug you?” he blinks. “will you let me?”
chanyeol thinks his eyes are tricking him, but somehow kris looks so small and the way he subtly pleads for chanyeol to give him a chance―
chanyeol guides kris’ hands to rest on his waist. he closes his eyes as kris’ palms make contact with his clothed skin. kris inhales deeply before he shifts his chair closer to the edge of the table; closer and closer and closer and then chanyeol shudders when kris hugs his waist like he’s made by porcelain.
kris is pressing his face to chanyeol’s stomach, his sharp nose and chin are a reminder for chanyeol to get conscious about what’s really happening. his own arms are limp on his side, as he’s still having quite a rough time to decipher everything all at once.
he stays frozen until kris mumbles, his words are hot on chanyeol’s skin;
“can you hug me back?”
chanyeol splutters, tensing up, and he pushes at kris’ shoulders weakly. but that’s enough to make kris scooting away to the other side of the room.
“i’m so sorry,” kris frowns and he’s not looking at chanyeol. “i’m really, really sorry.”
chanyeol doesn’t like it when kris wufan looks so insecure, it’s just wrong and it breaks his heart.
and maybe he himself needs to get over that fateful night and starts to learn accepting kris’ unusual form of apology.
kris runs a hand through his hair before he makes a move to get up, but chanyeol yells,
“wait!”
kris frowns, glancing at chanyeol for a second before darting off his eyes again.
“i-i’m so sorry,” chanyeol playfully pouts as he goes to kris' side and catch kris’ hands; sliding their palms together. “can you hug me one more time? i promise i will hug you back!”
kris has this unreadable frowning face after chanyeol shuts his mouth; and chanyeol just wishes his frantic heartbeats won’t scare the older boy to just go ahead and hug him all he wants.
kris asks, “are you sure?” but he still sounds so small.
chanyeol nods a little bit too eagerly.
they're standing face to face now.
but as he plays with the hair on kris’ nape, as kris hesitantly strokes his lower back in return; footsteps and laughter are bombarding the meeting room and kris is so quick to detach himself from any body contact with chanyeol.
joonmyun gives kris a suspicious glare when he notices chanyeol’s redredred face though, and tao is still sulking; eyeing chanyeol from behind his black fringe.
chanyeol tries to concentrate on yixing and minseok’s jokes instead of the burning yet invisible fingerprints kris has marked on his skin.
to be c o n t i n u e d