She knows who she is
I miss her. Almost ten years of friendship...about 6 yrs of being best friends and it's over. She was the only good friend I have in this state. The only best friend I had in years. She was a sister to me. When she moved across country I thought it would never be the same. It's wasn't the same...but still had a good friendship. I looked forward to her visits when she was home. I was so very excited when she finally got to move back home again last year. I felt happy to finally be in the same state and time zone with her. I was there for her when she needed someone to talk to, advice and help. She was there for support when I lost my dad. But, she gets mad at me for doing photography. Like I was copying her or trying to compete with her. If I started while she was still across country, it wouldn't be an issue. She told me I should do it when she first started, but that was years ago when we didn't live in the same state or county. That was then when I didn't have a good camera to even do so.
I always wanted to do photography and go to school for it. I was about to apply when living with Ben in Vancouver, but again....didn't have a good camera or money to buy one. Now that I do and the time to do it, I started. Not to copy her, but share the same interest with her. We were best friends, why can't we share the same hobby/interest.
Because if this...and mean things said, our friendship is over. I no longer have a best friend or any wrk friend to spend time with and share things with. I miss her. I want to tell her that, but I think it will be a mistake. Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore. It's like a break up...have to move on even though you really miss the person and think of them often.
Life is unfair. No one really get what they really want in life. And when you do...people get hurt, so what is it worth?
I really wish my dad was still alive and healthy. I wish I was still friends with her. My dad won't ever exist again, and I don't think friendship with her will too :/