(no subject)
It has finally come down to choosing food or a pack of smokes. I'm going through withdrawals from not smoking right now and I feel like...i feel like ...shit. I wish I was strong enough to overcome this addiction, but I know that I'm going to buy another pack. If not today, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then the next day. God, I hate myself for starting. When I was younger, I used to think of one event I would change in my life. It always used to involve some girl that got away. Now I just wish I had never smoked that first cig.
Lets see, I've been really smoking for about 2 years. If I bought a pack 5 times a week for two years and set the price of a pack to 4 dollars, I've spent about 2080 dollars. I look at that amount and immediately think its not that much. I think thats my nicotine brain speaking. Sigh. Now I have so little money, it's not even funny.
Life fucking sucks. I hate having no will power when it comes to cigarettes. I hate/love smoking. I hate not having a license. I hate not being able to go where I want to, when I want to. I hate that because I don't have a license, it's almost impossible to get a job. I want to scream and cuss at people.
I need to stop ranting...
Lets see, I've been really smoking for about 2 years. If I bought a pack 5 times a week for two years and set the price of a pack to 4 dollars, I've spent about 2080 dollars. I look at that amount and immediately think its not that much. I think thats my nicotine brain speaking. Sigh. Now I have so little money, it's not even funny.
Life fucking sucks. I hate having no will power when it comes to cigarettes. I hate/love smoking. I hate not having a license. I hate not being able to go where I want to, when I want to. I hate that because I don't have a license, it's almost impossible to get a job. I want to scream and cuss at people.
I need to stop ranting...