Those who are dead, are not dead. They're just living in my head.
So, here we go. I post in this thing strictly when I have things to say. I mostly keep everything else locked up. Without a key, it's a no go, and I lost the key, what feels like a lifetime ago. My life seems to be a book I've already read with no ending. Instead of things sorting themselves out they're intertwining into a tangled mess that feels impossible to undo. But for now, I'm just hoping everything thats going wrong will eventually turn right. I really have no one to confide in. My mom and sister are me, and listen but it's not the same as just releasing every thought-feeling-problem to someone who you know would have the solution. Not the solution to the problem itself, but to you being broken. It's just a moment. A moment that you can feel every ounce of you being breathed in, absorbed by the only person you want--to want you. To want you back just as much in that very moment when nothing else matters but what's there. Because once it's gone, you'll remember what it felt like and that feeling alone can get you through anything. At least for a while;till you forgot what it felt like. Then you're back to what you started with. That's where I am. And I want that feeling back, somehow. Just to help me out through these next couple months. But like each day that's passed, it is seemingly inevitable. And I've raised my white flag. I surrender. I surrender. I surrender. Is it over yet?