Oh, customers_suck, you are a goldmine.

[ems]

Just a quick one before I go to bed: covertxhippie appears to be playing customers_suck troll bingo, as she manages to tick the boxes for sizest, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist and - well, just plain stupid all in the same post.

The joys of retail:

this fat bitch that walked up to my register on TAX FREE WEEKEND and had the fucking nerve to actually touch me. First off slut, don't touch. Okay? Just because your an over grown amazon wo-man doesn't give you the right to use your little sausage of a finger to poke my shoulder. Secondly, you dumb bitch if I am at the register and you don't see anyone else around the OBVIOUSLY I am the only person in the department. And no, I cannot walk away from the register in the middle of a sale to help you find something in another fucking department. My department is DRESSES. Say it with me stupid, "DRrresseS." Is that so hard? No, I didn't think so. Secondly, bitch I don't care if you want me to call the manager because you arn't getting one on one attention. Shut the fuck up you stupid dyke. Thirdly, I'm not deaf. I know that if I don't call a manger you are going to have a bitch fit and start stomping your fat ass dino-saur legs around until you knock over some racks of clothing becuause of how fat you are. And Fourthly, I don't fucking care if there is a man in the fitting room. It's not like your hott enough for him to look at you, and if he did it would make him appreciate whoever his girlfriend is.
And for all you other bitches, I DONT WANT TO SPEAK SPANISH TO YOU. It's called ENGLISH learn the shit. It's not that fucking hard okay? And when I tell you in spanish, "No habla espanol" that does not give you the right to start speaking more spanish to me. I will NOT speak it to you okay? Why? Because, this is America. Therefore, I don't have to cater to your dumb illiterate non-english speaking self.

All you dirty bitches that don't realize this, a fitting room is not a fucking restroom. Okay?????? You stupid ditry whores. Walk your fatasses over to the damn elevator take 2 more steps an you'll be there.

And NO I cannot tell you your balance on your card okay?

And slutbags IF WE CLOSE AT 9 FUCKING LEAVE THE DAMN STORE WE ARE FUCKING CLOSED YOU DEAF TRASHyHOODRATS. GET THE FUCK OUT.

and what is so damn hard about hanging up your own clothes? Hm? Were you not taught any manners?

Dont shove items at me and expect me to be nice to you. As soon as you arn't looking I will wish death upon you.

Don't complain when you get your asses locked in the store. Thats your problem, not mine.

and the infamous question, "DO YOU WORK HERE?"
No slut, I'm only wearing this stupid ass bright ugly red lanyard for my own personal enjoyment that just so happens to have my name attached to it along with "customer service associate."

And fagly fatass hoes don't be rude to me because some other associate told your ugly ass off okay?
Get some damn manners.

And hoes, just because I work at this store if I see you hit my car with you damn door I will walk up to your kid and tell him shit. I had to pay for my car and I pay for all the upkeep not you, so unless you are going to pay to fix the tiny scratch you put on it I suggest you shut the fuck up and tell your kid to watch what he's doing before I beat his ass.

Oh, and I will NOT pick up dirty old baby bottles. I don't get paid enough for that.

and don't tell me your life story while I'm checking you out because trust me, I don't care.

and for all you fat lazy fucks that just have to sit on the tables, don't. okay? because your lazy ass isn't going to fold all those clothes again that now smell like ass thanks to you.

Another favorite of mine, "I got this on the sale rack. Why is it not $2.99?"
me:" because another customer misplaced it, and it doesn't have a sale sticker."
Customer: "Oh hell no. call your manager. This is horrible. What kind of business are you running here?"
Manager: "Oh my goodness I'm soooooo sorry let me kiss your cheap ass and give you whatever the fuck you want."

I predict wank will ensue*. Especially with susano_otter wading in with her own special branch of stupid. Defending a troll for the win!

* Wank like "it's kinda cute people are still offended over "gay" as an insult...". Oh, brother.