I Love the Booj

[maenads_dance]

roseredhoofbeat brings the drama to my favorite crazy mama lj community, booju_newju (I only pick on you because I love you, ladies). Said shit-stirrer asks, Should fathers be able to terminate their parental rights (read: skive off child support), since mothers can get abortions or give the kids up for adoption?"Much wank ensues, of the boring and not-necessarily-stupid-

Comments

[kibbles]

Is there ever a situation where the single dad was oopsed, or really was a good dad, or where the mom really was an asshole? Or is that just impossible?

I find it so hard to believe I have the only situation where the dad is better than the mom. (Mr. Kibbles rocks in the parenting department.)

Just in general.

[hohum]

There are plenty.

[claireobscure]

Yeah. (They probably generally don't go around trumpeting How Awesome They Are to LJ communities, though.)

[icedtea627]

Long time ago, but my grandfather got the 3 boys when my grandmother walked out on them and then fought for them in court (and won) when she decided she wanted them again.

But it does seem standards are generally lower for men.

[maenads_dance]

A few. I babysat for a guy who really was gunning for that "father of the year" award in an over-protective ex-submariner kind of way, and his ex-wife was an unpleasant type who'd buy her daughters wildly inappropriate gifts without consulting the father (150 dollar phones for a ten-year-old with the Nelly song "promiscuous" as the ring tone comes to mind).

So yeah, undoubtedly a few exist. It's just that, on the whole, women get stuck with the burden of child-rearing more than men do, and it's easier for men to wiggle out of responsibility. Like my father's sperm donor, for instance. Abandoned his wife, his developmentally-disabled two-year-old child, and my infant father and never came back.

[to]

My dad got custody of my sister and I when I was 9. He was def. the better parent by far.

[icprncs]

Yes. I know two (although one of them is going to stop being single soon). They're both awesome.

[volare]

I'm unfortunately privy to a situation wherein the father and mother were both initially dirtbags, but when he realised his son needed him, he turned it all around, getting clean off drugs and working his ass off to provide a stable home while mumsie divorced him and disappeared off the face of the planet, kept using (and still is, after popping out another kid with some other poor asshole), can't be arsed to hold a job, making all the usual deadbeat promises to the kid that never come true and just mess him up more.. complete reversal of the usual situation.
she really is a useless sack of shit, and the father's changed everything in his life for that kid.

[avenginglioness]

I dunno. I always thought that _you_ rocked in the parenting department. I dunno much about the Mr.

My cousin tried to be a good father. He has his problems, but he does his best with what he's got. The wife left and signed over complete custody of the children to him. She'd rather chase drugs. I dunno.

[komikbookgeek]

A co-worker of mine is divorced and a year ago his ex lost her job. She refused to get another, because "you aren't going to let you kids be homeless." He moved her in with him, she has refused to even look for work and is a complete and utter bitch when she calls the job looking for him.

The worse I've ever heard him say of her is that she drives him crazy.

So he is a really good dad and she's an asshole.

[alula_auburn]

My uncle is, but I think part of what makes him a good dad is prioritizing his children's interests over illuminating or dwelling on what an asshole their mother is.

[violent_rabbit]

Nah A friend of mine. Great guy, horrible mum. He's getting custody soon.

[chimaerandi]

I know plenty. But for the love of God, don't tell that to the booj mommies, who think mommydom is ALL AND EVERYTHING.

[myfriendjenny]

I have a much younger half-brother that my dad ended up with sole custody of and never got any kind of support from the mother. She was a human train wreck. But from my own anecdata it does seem to be the exception.

He wasn't a better parent than my mom, though, just to be clear. ;)

[werewolf_lib]

If my sister-in-law ever breaks up with her boyfriend, I will offer my testimony for him to any and all custody proceedings there may be. He's the better parent by miles.

[unmellow_yellow]

Honestly, I've never known anyone like that personally. But I'm sure they exist....somewhere.