grossy.
so i actually gained weight since my dad got here. i guess that what happens when you eat out every day and don't exercise. my stomach has actually rolled over the top of my pants. i feel strangely accomplished. and disgusting. we were in ottawa since tuesday, and although we went out in search of something interesting to do we ended up driving around the old neighbourhoods then back to the apartment to kill time until it was time to...you guessed it....eat.
sigh.
but one sad thing about this ottawa trip... it was the first time i've been back to my childhood home with my dad since we moved out oh...eleven years ago. i've been back with my brother and my mom, and it's always kind of eery and sentimental the way you'd expect it to be. there's the odd change here and there; additions and new colours on garage doors. but pretty much everything is recognizable and has always stayed the same.
especially the two enormous trees that mark where to turn to get to our street. when i say enormous, i mean...these trees are montrously tall. maybe as tall as a five story building, maybe more. they were there before the houses were built and i kind of thought of them as sacred; they were just always there and would always be there, and if they were to ever be cut down than i would know that it's time to stop coming back.
well, they finally cut the trees down. the whole neighbourhood looks totally and completely different. i've never wanted to cry when i think of growing up and that some stranger now lives in my bedroom, or whenever i see that another friend's house has been put on the market or sold, or all those other silly things that make you cry when you look back on things. but those trees being gone is quite possibly the saddest thing i've dealt with in awhile. maybe it's realizing that each time i go to ottawa i find myself getting lost a little easier, or avoiding old faces, i don't know what...i guess it's just hard to realize that after all this time trying to get as far away from 'home' as i could, it'd actually be really nice to go back for once, and now i can't. not even just to see one thing that i thought could never be altered.
sigh.
but one sad thing about this ottawa trip... it was the first time i've been back to my childhood home with my dad since we moved out oh...eleven years ago. i've been back with my brother and my mom, and it's always kind of eery and sentimental the way you'd expect it to be. there's the odd change here and there; additions and new colours on garage doors. but pretty much everything is recognizable and has always stayed the same.
especially the two enormous trees that mark where to turn to get to our street. when i say enormous, i mean...these trees are montrously tall. maybe as tall as a five story building, maybe more. they were there before the houses were built and i kind of thought of them as sacred; they were just always there and would always be there, and if they were to ever be cut down than i would know that it's time to stop coming back.
well, they finally cut the trees down. the whole neighbourhood looks totally and completely different. i've never wanted to cry when i think of growing up and that some stranger now lives in my bedroom, or whenever i see that another friend's house has been put on the market or sold, or all those other silly things that make you cry when you look back on things. but those trees being gone is quite possibly the saddest thing i've dealt with in awhile. maybe it's realizing that each time i go to ottawa i find myself getting lost a little easier, or avoiding old faces, i don't know what...i guess it's just hard to realize that after all this time trying to get as far away from 'home' as i could, it'd actually be really nice to go back for once, and now i can't. not even just to see one thing that i thought could never be altered.