My Secret Girl (Part 4)
Title: My Secret Girl (Part 4/4)
Author: stupeur
Editor: cranperryjuice
Rating: R for sexuality, language, statutory rape, anglerfish.
Pairing: Miya (MUCC) x Younha (Korean singer and actress)
Summary: When Miya decides to help a young, promising singer set foot in the music industry, he has no idea how seriously she will take his offer.
Previous parts: 1 2 3
Notes: Awe, no, I can't believe this is over! I liked writing these two so much that I actually cried when I finished this part. :'( I already have ideas for a sequel of sorts brewing in my head, but I'm currently working on a couple of (completely different) stories, so it probably won't be in a while. Enjoy the ending in the meantime! Big thanks to tamaofdeath for the help, my beta, and everyone who supported me. :3
---
"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were fifteen?!"
The energy Miya had spent during the concert had not been enough to work off his anger and he closed the sliding door of the van with much more strength than needed. Comet-san had handed him the keys of the vehicle so that he could confront Younha while everyone was celebrating in a nearby izakaya. No one had questioned why he wasn't attending the party - word spread fast.
Younha shrank in the seat next to his. Tears were flowing down her cheeks freely and she muttered something unintelligible before shaking her head. She was obviously struggling with her Japanese, as she usually did when she was upset.
"So?!" Miya pressed her on and managed to make out a muffled "I'm sorry, oppa" after Younha had hid her face in the crease of her elbows.
"For fuck's sake, I know you're sorry! Why don't you just tell what the fuck you were thinking?!"
She started sobbing aloud. "It's because the open mic," she managed difficultly.
"... What?!"
She attempted to wipe her tears on her sleeve, to no avail. "Only people over eighteen can participate, so I said the organizers I am eighteen. And I told you same thing."
"And you never thought about telling me at some point?! When you decided to live at my place, for example?! Or when we started dating?!"
He'd apparently managed to get even louder because she recoiled some more. "I didn't know... I didn't think we will fall in love..."
Miya didn't actually think she had used the word 'love' on purpose to assuage his anger, but it still made him see red somehow. "I can't fucking believe you're pulling this shit after you've called me a liar! Did you really think you could get away with it?! ... Fucking say something!" He grabbed her arms in an attempt to uncover her face, probably more roughy than he intended.
"Stop screaming at me!" she shrieked, slapping his hands away and immediately hiding her face again, practically wailing.
"Fine," he said, smacking the car wheel angrily. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, suddenly realizing that he had been scaring the shit out of her. He had to calm down, somehow, and it suddenly became apparent that he needed a smoke or twenty million.
By the time he finally brought himself to speak again, Miya had already finished a first cigarette and was well into the second one. "Why did you never tell me?" He couldn't really imagine how he would have reacted if she had outright told him the truth, but it couldn't possibly have been that bad.
"I... I didn't know what to do."
"And it never occurred to you that maybe I would've liked to know?" He inhaled a long drag of smoke to counter the anger that was surging through him again. "What about my reputation, for one? Do you realize how fucking humiliated I was back there when I learnt in front of everyone that my girlfriend is not even the age she's supposed to be?"
The realization that he had been having intercourse with a fifteen-year-old repeatedly over the past couple of weeks suddenly sank in and he started chuckling despite himself. To think he thought eighteen was young - that certainly put things back in perspective. "I'm a fucking idiot. I should've realized you weren't eighteen," he gritted between his teeth.
Younha sniffled. "I was scared... I was scared you will break up with me..."
He leaned his head back against the seat and rubbed his eyes in an attempt to gather his thoughts. His mind was blank, however - he didn't know what to do or say or even think. He felt betrayed and humiliated, and he was exhausted. And yet, he already knew that he was in far too deep not to forgive her. "We'll see to that later," he forced himself to say, even though he didn't mean a word of it.
A silent sob shook her shoulders. "I don't want to break up... I like you, oppa..." she said, her voice nothing more than a whisper.
Miya turned to look at her. It was dark, but the tears drenching her face were clearly visible under the lamppost outside the van. Without thinking, he leaned in to butt his cigarette in the ashtray just to give himself to do and bit the inside of his cheeks - the last thing he wanted was to start crying too.
"... Do you hate me?" she asked after a long moment. She had obviously interpreted his silence the wrong way and Miya chuckled despite himself. If only she knew.
"I don't hate you, Younha. I just... I don't know what to think. That's the biggest fucking lie I was ever told."
"I'm sorry... I-I didn't... I didn't mean to..."
He let out a loud sigh, searching his pockets for tissues, and finally found some in the glove compartment. "I know." He handed her the pack and she accepted it wordlessly.
"Your friends wait for you," she said feebly, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. "You should go."
He briefly considered his options. There was no way in hell he'd show up at the New Year party after what had happened. "... I can't."
Younha didn't say anything and Miya lowered the driver seat, lying down, and turned away from her in an attempt to block out the memory of her crying face. Maybe he'd manage to get a few hours of sleep before they drove back to Tokyo.
---
To add insult to injury, Miya basically inaugurated the year 2004 in the office of Jack Danger, the president of Danger Crue.
"... What's up with that? I thought it was some sort of weird joke at first."
Miya propped his elbow on the arm of the chair and leaned his forehead on the palm of his hand. This was embarrassing enough as it were without looking at his superior in the face.
"She told me she was eighteen and I just... I believed her."
There was a silence and he heard Jack crack up.
"How was I supposed to know she wasn't saying the truth?" Miya snapped.
Jack laughed even louder at that. "Sorry, sorry, I believe you. It's just that I've never had to deal with a situation like that, and believe me, all sorts of weird crap happens in the industry."
Miya clenched his jaw. That certainly didn't make him feel any better.
"Have you thought about it? What are you gonna do?" Jack asked after clearing his throat and gathering his composure.
Yes, Miya had thought about it. In fact, he hadn't been able to think about anything else for the past couple of days. Had he figured out what to do? That was another story.
"... I don't really know," Miya finally muttered, still unable to look at Jack, and he heard him sigh loudly.
"Look, I know this isn't Hello! Project and I've always considered that your private lives are none of my business. As far as I'm concerned, you can do whatever the hell you want and date whoever the hell you want. I'm just asking that everything stays legal, and this sure as hell isn't."
"But- but I didn't know!" Miya burst out. It probably wasn't the best tone to use to address his boss, but he hadn't been able to help it. "I didn't even want to do anything at first, but she's the one who started and, uh, well..." He stopped there, realizing that it was both an incredibly childish argument and a bit too informative as well.
Judging from Jack's expression, he had apparently chosen the right moment to shut up, too.
"Miya, the law doesn't give a fuck whether she forced your dick out of your pants or not. It's statutory rape, plain and simple. You get caught, you end up in jail. And you can forget about coming here ever again."
Miya hung his head shamefully, nodding almost imperceptibly.
"I'll be honest with you. MUCC is one of this label's main assets. You guys are on a roll and I can't wait to see what you'll come up with in the future. But this also means that I really can't afford to let you risk screwing things up." Jack sighed again. "And you gotta think about her too. I can guarantee that her career would be ruined on the spot if you guys got caught."
"... You're right," Miya muttered sheepishly, biting his bottom lip. He meant it. He knew Jack was right.
"I'm done," Jack said. "You know what to do."
---
The next few days were all a blur. Miya had been kept busy by both MUCC and his job, and he wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing. His days with Younha were numbered, but he was still torn between his heart and his reason, and hadn't been able to bring himself to explicitly put an end to their relationship. Younha hadn't brought the subject up either, and the time they spent together was now rather awkward, to say the least.
He'd somewhat lost track of time and was thus shocked when he came home from work one evening only to see the bathroom devoid of everything that belonged to Younha. Her makeup, hair products and toiletries had all been removed from the shelves and the toilet tank. The bathroom felt incredibly empty without them, and suddenly, so did Miya.
He found Younha kneeling on the bedroom floor, surrounded by clothes and CDs, trying to fit them all in her opened suitcase.
"What are you doing?" he asked, even though it was perfectly obvious.
"I'm packing for tomorrow," she answered with a sigh. "But it's difficult. I did too much shopping in Japan."
Miya would have laughed if he hadn't been such an emotional mess. He stood motionless in the doorway for a long moment, watching her put things in and out of her suitcase, trying to assimilate the fact that she would be back in Korea the next day. She'd only come back to Japan as an Epic Records artist - and she wouldn't need anything from him anymore.
"Let me help you with that," Miya said and sat down next to Younha to help her out.
It took them a little under an hour to finish packing - Younha had had to sit on top of the suitcase for Miya to zip it closed, but in the end, everything was in. He exhaled loudly in relief, but let out a curse immediately after when he noticed the two Rilakkuma plush toys he had won for her at an arcade game lying behind the suitcase.
"I think you'll have to carry those on the plane," he said with a small smile, handing her the bears.
Younha took them and held them to herself before moving closer to him, and the next instant, Miya was hugging Younha hugging two big stuffed animals. "Thank you," she said quietly, and Miya could tell from her tone that she wasn't just referring to the suitcase-packing. He let out a simple "mmhm" and strengthened his embrace around her.
Not much time had passed when Miya's phone started vibrating somewhere between them. "Sorry," he sighed, and Younha moved away so that he could take the handheld. A quick glance at the caller ID indicated that it was Yukke. "Yeah?"
"Hey, it's me. How's it going?"
That was the hardest question Miya could possibly have been asked at this particular instant. "Younha and I just finished packing her stuff," he finally said, figuring that it would be enough to give Yukke an idea of how he might be feeling.
"... Awe, crap. Is she leaving soon?"
"Tomorrow."
"Already? Fuck, I'm sorry. You guys wanna meet for drinks? Wait, I forgot," he added, snickering. "Just food then?"
Miya glanced at Younha. She was now leaning against his shoulder, eyes closed. "I dunno, man, I'm kinda tired."
"Come on, it's her last night in Tokyo, better make it a fun one! You can be boring and stay home, but I wanna see her. Just ask her what she wants to eat and I'll call the others."
Miya opened his mouth to protest, but Yukke had already hung up. There was no use in calling him back and trying to argue, anyway, so he put the handheld back in his pocket and smiled at Younha. "Looks like we're invited for dinner."
---
Miya and Younha met up with Yukke and Tatsurou at a nearby Kappazushi restaurant, since Younha had requested sushi. Satochi had been held back at work again and had had to content himself with wishing Younha a safe return to Korea by text message.
"Younha-chan, you've got to try the ankimo gunkan," Tatsurou said, grabbing a plate from the conveyor belt and putting it down in front of her.
Her expression was pensive at first, but she apparently grew fond of the taste. "What is ankimo?" she asked, seizing the other piece with her chopsticks.
"It's fish liver. They have this weird antenna and they kinda look like that," Tatsurou explained before widening his eyes and jutting out his chin, his lower teeth sticking out visibly.
Tatsurou's impersonation of an anglerfish was perfectly convincing, and Miya would have laughed if it weren't for the haze in his head. Hearing Younha giggle did get a smile out of him, however. The two of them had been unusually quiet so far, and Tatsurou had been cracking a lot of jokes in a visible effort to cheer them up.
"So, tell me, Younha," Yukke started, "why do you need to go back to Korea? Aren't you going to work here?"
Younha kept her eyes down, dipping a piece of salmon into the soy sauce. "My tourist visa ends tomorrow, and the company must translate the... the..." She looked at Miya for help.
Miya gulped down his bite of mackerel hurriedly. "They need to translate the contract to Korean."
"For my parents."
Both Yukke and Tatsurou nodded in comprehension, and Miya shot Yukke a glance that clearly commanded him to drop it before the next question came. He really didn't feel like getting into this. He caught Yukke rolling his eyes a bit, but he had at least picked up the hint and did not ask her any more questions about her return to Korea.
As soon as Younha left in order to go to the bathroom, however, Yukke leaned towards Miya and asked him: "What's the big deal? Aren't you gonna stay with her?"
Miya glared at him. "She's fifteen. Do I really have to spell it out for you?"
Tatsurou and Yukke shot each other a knowing look. "Who the fuck cares? She doesn't act like she's fifteen," Tatsurou said. "The harm's already been done, anyway."
"... What do you mean?" Miya asked warily, eyebrow raised.
Tatsurou smirked. "Well, you've already deflowered her. It can only get better from here."
Miya's blood pressure skyrocketed and he considered just how satisfying it would be to throw the pile of empty plates at Tatsurou. Yukke obviously noticed it because he promptly took his defense: "Tatsurou has a point, though. I mean, I never would've thought she was that young either. And it's not like you'd be the first guy to date a younger girl."
"The problem is not the fact that she's younger, but the fact that she's too young." Miya sighed angrily and jabbed the call button. "Holy fuck, I've had enough."
"Calm the fuck down, man." Tatsurou said, rolling his eyes. The waitress was already on her way to their table and he waved her off. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off like that."
"What the hell do you think you're doing, then? Do you really think I haven't thought about all of that?" Miya leaned his cheek against the palm of his hand and rubbed his eyelids with his fingertips. "I just... I can't be with her."
"Why the fuck not?" Yukke pressed him. "You guys obviously like each other."
"For one, I was pretty much told we'd be kicked out of the label if I don't break up with her."
Tatsurou and Yukke both looked surprised at that. "... Isn't she going to turn seventeen next year? You guys could just date in secret or something until then," Tatsurou tried.
"And risk getting us kicked out or ruining her career? She worked too hard for this. And so did we, for that matter."
"... You could always pretend you're her bodyguard if you guys got caught?" Yukke suggested jokingly.
"Or her babysitter," Tatsurou added with a smirk.
Miya laughed in spite of himself and leaned on the table, dropping his head on his forearms. "This is so fucking unfair," he muttered, and felt a hand squeeze his shoulder comfortingly.
"There's some custard pudding coming your way, you want it?" Yukke asked.
Miya looked up to see the dessert wobble merrily along the conveyor belt and acquiesced unenthusiastically. He saw Younha walking back to their table and Tatsurou threw a glance over his shoulder, spotting her as well. "Don't be so gloomy, all right?" Tatsurou said with a sad smile. "You should keep that for until after she's gone."
"... Yeah. Thanks, guys," Miya said quietly before Younha sat back down at the back.
"Did I miss anything?"
"Not at all," Miya answered, trying a smile at her, and offered her a spoon so that they could share the pudding. The four of them left shortly afterwards, parting ways after taking a few pictures together at the station.
That night, Miya had a lot of trouble sleeping. He dozed on and off, waking up several times during the night at frustratingly short intervals. He'd finally woken up for the umpteenth time to find Younha in his arms, her forehead leaning against his chest and a leg slid between his. She stirred a bit in her sleep when he ran a hand through her hair before closing his eyes again, and he did not wake up again until his alarm clock rang the next morning.
---
"This is the last call for flight OZ-101 to Seoul. We kindly request that passengers go to gate 2 immediately for boarding."
Miya squeezed Younha's hand while what he assumed to be the same message was transmitted in Korean. "I guess this is it." He'd barely managed to get up to his feet when Younha threw herself into his arms, holding him in a rather awkward embrace - with her messenger bag and the two Rilakkuma plush toys that she was carrying, hugging each other was quite a feat.
They were still holding each other when the same announcement was heard again and Miya had to muster all his courage to break the embrace. "Come on, you'll be late."
He felt his throat tighten when Younha looked up at him, her eyes glistening and her long lashes sticking together. She looked like she was about to say something, but she instead inhaled deeply and turned around, headed for the customs. Miya watched her move away from him until his vision started to blur and he looked down to his feet, shoving his hands into his pockets to give himself some countenance.
He hadn't even realized she had walked up to him again until he heard her voice:
"I forgot something," she said apologetically. She had wedged the two stuffed toys under her arm and was rummaging in her bag with her free hand. She finally pulled out a small album and handed it to him.
"What's this?"
Younha gave him a smile and a light shrug, obviously still struggling not to cry. "Just a gift."
Miya simply nodded and returned the smile, not trusting his voice.
"See you soon," Younha murmured, looking down, and started again towards the customs. She had barely taken a few steps before she suddenly rushed back to him and rose on tiptoe to press her mouth against his. What the kiss lacked in length, it made up for in intensity, and it left Miya seeing stars and panting and holding her to himself with all of his strength before he came back to his senses and the craziest thoughts found their way to his brain all at once - maybe he could he beg her not to go, maybe he could buy a ticket to Seoul, maybe they really could make this work somehow...
"Oppa, you're crying," Younha pointed out with a smile and her own tears mirrored her words, welling up before rolling down her cheeks.
"I'm not," Miya mumbled pathetically, blinking the tears away desperately before they managed to escape his eyes, and gave a light push on her shoulder. "Just go now."
She gave him a last smile and ran up to the customs booth. Miya watched her hand her passport to the inspector and enter the terminal without so much as a glance in his direction, and waited until she had vanished from his field of vision before sitting down by himself.
He didn't leave until the information screen displayed the confirmation that her flight had departed.
---
It took Miya several minutes and a couple of smokes before he somewhat settled down. Fearing he might get into an accident if he started tearing up again on the road, he had stayed in his car for a while, not even bothering to turn on the radio while he smoked his cigarettes. He was about to ignite the engine when he spotted the album Younha had given him from the corner of his eye. He'd dropped it on the passenger seat earlier and had forgotten about it until now.
He hesitated a bit - it was probably a better idea to have a look at it once he was home rather than in the parking lot of the airport, but curiosity got the better of him and he reached for it. He chuckled quietly at the cover- a golden outline of Winnie the Pooh on a sky blue background- and opened the small book tentatively. There was a letter inside, carefully tucked inside one of the pocket pages, but the first pictures caught his eye and he decided to save it for last.
The first several photographs brought a smile to his lips - the mess that was his bedroom while the two of them occupied it; Younha holding Gizmo, headphones on her head; several pictures of them frolicking on their way to Meiji Jingu (looking at those, Miya felt ridiculous for even having had doubts about his feelings for her at that point); Younha holding his arm in front of the main gate of the shrine; the food they had ordered at Magic Spice; and himself beet red, sweaty and grimacing while trying to ingest his soup curry.
Pictures of their karaoke evening followed. Younha's camera had apparently traveled around quite a bit, and Miya's vision started blurring when, among the more embarrassing pictures of him and his friends, he came across a shot of their linked hands, fingers entwined. The tears were clouding his eyes so badly that he had to wipe them off with his sleeve to have a proper look at the picture of Younha and he kissing, oblivious to Yukke frowning at them.
Miya had never quite realized how they looked together- gaga and smitten and so fucking in love- and, by the time he got to Younha pressing her lips to his cheek in front of the Christmas tree at Disney Land, his throat literally hurt from the struggle against his own tears. The album ended with a picture of an empty donuts box they had ravaged in a single evening, and despite his efforts not to, Miya broke down crying.
No amount of nicotine could settle him down this time, and it took a long while before he managed to control himself enough to read the letter she'd written.
Dear Miya-oppa,
Thank you so much for everything. When I come back to Japan, I will be a singer because of your help. You took care of me, you taught me many things, and you gave me courage and inspiration. I want to do my best as a musician because of that. I want you to be proud when you listen to my songs.
I'm excited, but I'm also sad. I wish we can be together. You were always so nice to me even though my Japanese is not that good. I had a lot of fun going to places and talking with you. It was only for a short time, but it was the happiest I was in my life. I am really sorry about lying to you and I hope you will forgive me.
I will miss you and Gizmo a lot. I hope we can meet again someday.
xxx
Younha
Author: stupeur
Editor: cranperryjuice
Rating: R for sexuality, language, statutory rape, anglerfish.
Pairing: Miya (MUCC) x Younha (Korean singer and actress)
Summary: When Miya decides to help a young, promising singer set foot in the music industry, he has no idea how seriously she will take his offer.
Previous parts: 1 2 3
Notes: Awe, no, I can't believe this is over! I liked writing these two so much that I actually cried when I finished this part. :'( I already have ideas for a sequel of sorts brewing in my head, but I'm currently working on a couple of (completely different) stories, so it probably won't be in a while. Enjoy the ending in the meantime! Big thanks to tamaofdeath for the help, my beta, and everyone who supported me. :3
---
"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were fifteen?!"
The energy Miya had spent during the concert had not been enough to work off his anger and he closed the sliding door of the van with much more strength than needed. Comet-san had handed him the keys of the vehicle so that he could confront Younha while everyone was celebrating in a nearby izakaya. No one had questioned why he wasn't attending the party - word spread fast.
Younha shrank in the seat next to his. Tears were flowing down her cheeks freely and she muttered something unintelligible before shaking her head. She was obviously struggling with her Japanese, as she usually did when she was upset.
"So?!" Miya pressed her on and managed to make out a muffled "I'm sorry, oppa" after Younha had hid her face in the crease of her elbows.
"For fuck's sake, I know you're sorry! Why don't you just tell what the fuck you were thinking?!"
She started sobbing aloud. "It's because the open mic," she managed difficultly.
"... What?!"
She attempted to wipe her tears on her sleeve, to no avail. "Only people over eighteen can participate, so I said the organizers I am eighteen. And I told you same thing."
"And you never thought about telling me at some point?! When you decided to live at my place, for example?! Or when we started dating?!"
He'd apparently managed to get even louder because she recoiled some more. "I didn't know... I didn't think we will fall in love..."
Miya didn't actually think she had used the word 'love' on purpose to assuage his anger, but it still made him see red somehow. "I can't fucking believe you're pulling this shit after you've called me a liar! Did you really think you could get away with it?! ... Fucking say something!" He grabbed her arms in an attempt to uncover her face, probably more roughy than he intended.
"Stop screaming at me!" she shrieked, slapping his hands away and immediately hiding her face again, practically wailing.
"Fine," he said, smacking the car wheel angrily. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, suddenly realizing that he had been scaring the shit out of her. He had to calm down, somehow, and it suddenly became apparent that he needed a smoke or twenty million.
By the time he finally brought himself to speak again, Miya had already finished a first cigarette and was well into the second one. "Why did you never tell me?" He couldn't really imagine how he would have reacted if she had outright told him the truth, but it couldn't possibly have been that bad.
"I... I didn't know what to do."
"And it never occurred to you that maybe I would've liked to know?" He inhaled a long drag of smoke to counter the anger that was surging through him again. "What about my reputation, for one? Do you realize how fucking humiliated I was back there when I learnt in front of everyone that my girlfriend is not even the age she's supposed to be?"
The realization that he had been having intercourse with a fifteen-year-old repeatedly over the past couple of weeks suddenly sank in and he started chuckling despite himself. To think he thought eighteen was young - that certainly put things back in perspective. "I'm a fucking idiot. I should've realized you weren't eighteen," he gritted between his teeth.
Younha sniffled. "I was scared... I was scared you will break up with me..."
He leaned his head back against the seat and rubbed his eyes in an attempt to gather his thoughts. His mind was blank, however - he didn't know what to do or say or even think. He felt betrayed and humiliated, and he was exhausted. And yet, he already knew that he was in far too deep not to forgive her. "We'll see to that later," he forced himself to say, even though he didn't mean a word of it.
A silent sob shook her shoulders. "I don't want to break up... I like you, oppa..." she said, her voice nothing more than a whisper.
Miya turned to look at her. It was dark, but the tears drenching her face were clearly visible under the lamppost outside the van. Without thinking, he leaned in to butt his cigarette in the ashtray just to give himself to do and bit the inside of his cheeks - the last thing he wanted was to start crying too.
"... Do you hate me?" she asked after a long moment. She had obviously interpreted his silence the wrong way and Miya chuckled despite himself. If only she knew.
"I don't hate you, Younha. I just... I don't know what to think. That's the biggest fucking lie I was ever told."
"I'm sorry... I-I didn't... I didn't mean to..."
He let out a loud sigh, searching his pockets for tissues, and finally found some in the glove compartment. "I know." He handed her the pack and she accepted it wordlessly.
"Your friends wait for you," she said feebly, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. "You should go."
He briefly considered his options. There was no way in hell he'd show up at the New Year party after what had happened. "... I can't."
Younha didn't say anything and Miya lowered the driver seat, lying down, and turned away from her in an attempt to block out the memory of her crying face. Maybe he'd manage to get a few hours of sleep before they drove back to Tokyo.
---
To add insult to injury, Miya basically inaugurated the year 2004 in the office of Jack Danger, the president of Danger Crue.
"... What's up with that? I thought it was some sort of weird joke at first."
Miya propped his elbow on the arm of the chair and leaned his forehead on the palm of his hand. This was embarrassing enough as it were without looking at his superior in the face.
"She told me she was eighteen and I just... I believed her."
There was a silence and he heard Jack crack up.
"How was I supposed to know she wasn't saying the truth?" Miya snapped.
Jack laughed even louder at that. "Sorry, sorry, I believe you. It's just that I've never had to deal with a situation like that, and believe me, all sorts of weird crap happens in the industry."
Miya clenched his jaw. That certainly didn't make him feel any better.
"Have you thought about it? What are you gonna do?" Jack asked after clearing his throat and gathering his composure.
Yes, Miya had thought about it. In fact, he hadn't been able to think about anything else for the past couple of days. Had he figured out what to do? That was another story.
"... I don't really know," Miya finally muttered, still unable to look at Jack, and he heard him sigh loudly.
"Look, I know this isn't Hello! Project and I've always considered that your private lives are none of my business. As far as I'm concerned, you can do whatever the hell you want and date whoever the hell you want. I'm just asking that everything stays legal, and this sure as hell isn't."
"But- but I didn't know!" Miya burst out. It probably wasn't the best tone to use to address his boss, but he hadn't been able to help it. "I didn't even want to do anything at first, but she's the one who started and, uh, well..." He stopped there, realizing that it was both an incredibly childish argument and a bit too informative as well.
Judging from Jack's expression, he had apparently chosen the right moment to shut up, too.
"Miya, the law doesn't give a fuck whether she forced your dick out of your pants or not. It's statutory rape, plain and simple. You get caught, you end up in jail. And you can forget about coming here ever again."
Miya hung his head shamefully, nodding almost imperceptibly.
"I'll be honest with you. MUCC is one of this label's main assets. You guys are on a roll and I can't wait to see what you'll come up with in the future. But this also means that I really can't afford to let you risk screwing things up." Jack sighed again. "And you gotta think about her too. I can guarantee that her career would be ruined on the spot if you guys got caught."
"... You're right," Miya muttered sheepishly, biting his bottom lip. He meant it. He knew Jack was right.
"I'm done," Jack said. "You know what to do."
---
The next few days were all a blur. Miya had been kept busy by both MUCC and his job, and he wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing. His days with Younha were numbered, but he was still torn between his heart and his reason, and hadn't been able to bring himself to explicitly put an end to their relationship. Younha hadn't brought the subject up either, and the time they spent together was now rather awkward, to say the least.
He'd somewhat lost track of time and was thus shocked when he came home from work one evening only to see the bathroom devoid of everything that belonged to Younha. Her makeup, hair products and toiletries had all been removed from the shelves and the toilet tank. The bathroom felt incredibly empty without them, and suddenly, so did Miya.
He found Younha kneeling on the bedroom floor, surrounded by clothes and CDs, trying to fit them all in her opened suitcase.
"What are you doing?" he asked, even though it was perfectly obvious.
"I'm packing for tomorrow," she answered with a sigh. "But it's difficult. I did too much shopping in Japan."
Miya would have laughed if he hadn't been such an emotional mess. He stood motionless in the doorway for a long moment, watching her put things in and out of her suitcase, trying to assimilate the fact that she would be back in Korea the next day. She'd only come back to Japan as an Epic Records artist - and she wouldn't need anything from him anymore.
"Let me help you with that," Miya said and sat down next to Younha to help her out.
It took them a little under an hour to finish packing - Younha had had to sit on top of the suitcase for Miya to zip it closed, but in the end, everything was in. He exhaled loudly in relief, but let out a curse immediately after when he noticed the two Rilakkuma plush toys he had won for her at an arcade game lying behind the suitcase.
"I think you'll have to carry those on the plane," he said with a small smile, handing her the bears.
Younha took them and held them to herself before moving closer to him, and the next instant, Miya was hugging Younha hugging two big stuffed animals. "Thank you," she said quietly, and Miya could tell from her tone that she wasn't just referring to the suitcase-packing. He let out a simple "mmhm" and strengthened his embrace around her.
Not much time had passed when Miya's phone started vibrating somewhere between them. "Sorry," he sighed, and Younha moved away so that he could take the handheld. A quick glance at the caller ID indicated that it was Yukke. "Yeah?"
"Hey, it's me. How's it going?"
That was the hardest question Miya could possibly have been asked at this particular instant. "Younha and I just finished packing her stuff," he finally said, figuring that it would be enough to give Yukke an idea of how he might be feeling.
"... Awe, crap. Is she leaving soon?"
"Tomorrow."
"Already? Fuck, I'm sorry. You guys wanna meet for drinks? Wait, I forgot," he added, snickering. "Just food then?"
Miya glanced at Younha. She was now leaning against his shoulder, eyes closed. "I dunno, man, I'm kinda tired."
"Come on, it's her last night in Tokyo, better make it a fun one! You can be boring and stay home, but I wanna see her. Just ask her what she wants to eat and I'll call the others."
Miya opened his mouth to protest, but Yukke had already hung up. There was no use in calling him back and trying to argue, anyway, so he put the handheld back in his pocket and smiled at Younha. "Looks like we're invited for dinner."
---
Miya and Younha met up with Yukke and Tatsurou at a nearby Kappazushi restaurant, since Younha had requested sushi. Satochi had been held back at work again and had had to content himself with wishing Younha a safe return to Korea by text message.
"Younha-chan, you've got to try the ankimo gunkan," Tatsurou said, grabbing a plate from the conveyor belt and putting it down in front of her.
Her expression was pensive at first, but she apparently grew fond of the taste. "What is ankimo?" she asked, seizing the other piece with her chopsticks.
"It's fish liver. They have this weird antenna and they kinda look like that," Tatsurou explained before widening his eyes and jutting out his chin, his lower teeth sticking out visibly.
Tatsurou's impersonation of an anglerfish was perfectly convincing, and Miya would have laughed if it weren't for the haze in his head. Hearing Younha giggle did get a smile out of him, however. The two of them had been unusually quiet so far, and Tatsurou had been cracking a lot of jokes in a visible effort to cheer them up.
"So, tell me, Younha," Yukke started, "why do you need to go back to Korea? Aren't you going to work here?"
Younha kept her eyes down, dipping a piece of salmon into the soy sauce. "My tourist visa ends tomorrow, and the company must translate the... the..." She looked at Miya for help.
Miya gulped down his bite of mackerel hurriedly. "They need to translate the contract to Korean."
"For my parents."
Both Yukke and Tatsurou nodded in comprehension, and Miya shot Yukke a glance that clearly commanded him to drop it before the next question came. He really didn't feel like getting into this. He caught Yukke rolling his eyes a bit, but he had at least picked up the hint and did not ask her any more questions about her return to Korea.
As soon as Younha left in order to go to the bathroom, however, Yukke leaned towards Miya and asked him: "What's the big deal? Aren't you gonna stay with her?"
Miya glared at him. "She's fifteen. Do I really have to spell it out for you?"
Tatsurou and Yukke shot each other a knowing look. "Who the fuck cares? She doesn't act like she's fifteen," Tatsurou said. "The harm's already been done, anyway."
"... What do you mean?" Miya asked warily, eyebrow raised.
Tatsurou smirked. "Well, you've already deflowered her. It can only get better from here."
Miya's blood pressure skyrocketed and he considered just how satisfying it would be to throw the pile of empty plates at Tatsurou. Yukke obviously noticed it because he promptly took his defense: "Tatsurou has a point, though. I mean, I never would've thought she was that young either. And it's not like you'd be the first guy to date a younger girl."
"The problem is not the fact that she's younger, but the fact that she's too young." Miya sighed angrily and jabbed the call button. "Holy fuck, I've had enough."
"Calm the fuck down, man." Tatsurou said, rolling his eyes. The waitress was already on her way to their table and he waved her off. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off like that."
"What the hell do you think you're doing, then? Do you really think I haven't thought about all of that?" Miya leaned his cheek against the palm of his hand and rubbed his eyelids with his fingertips. "I just... I can't be with her."
"Why the fuck not?" Yukke pressed him. "You guys obviously like each other."
"For one, I was pretty much told we'd be kicked out of the label if I don't break up with her."
Tatsurou and Yukke both looked surprised at that. "... Isn't she going to turn seventeen next year? You guys could just date in secret or something until then," Tatsurou tried.
"And risk getting us kicked out or ruining her career? She worked too hard for this. And so did we, for that matter."
"... You could always pretend you're her bodyguard if you guys got caught?" Yukke suggested jokingly.
"Or her babysitter," Tatsurou added with a smirk.
Miya laughed in spite of himself and leaned on the table, dropping his head on his forearms. "This is so fucking unfair," he muttered, and felt a hand squeeze his shoulder comfortingly.
"There's some custard pudding coming your way, you want it?" Yukke asked.
Miya looked up to see the dessert wobble merrily along the conveyor belt and acquiesced unenthusiastically. He saw Younha walking back to their table and Tatsurou threw a glance over his shoulder, spotting her as well. "Don't be so gloomy, all right?" Tatsurou said with a sad smile. "You should keep that for until after she's gone."
"... Yeah. Thanks, guys," Miya said quietly before Younha sat back down at the back.
"Did I miss anything?"
"Not at all," Miya answered, trying a smile at her, and offered her a spoon so that they could share the pudding. The four of them left shortly afterwards, parting ways after taking a few pictures together at the station.
That night, Miya had a lot of trouble sleeping. He dozed on and off, waking up several times during the night at frustratingly short intervals. He'd finally woken up for the umpteenth time to find Younha in his arms, her forehead leaning against his chest and a leg slid between his. She stirred a bit in her sleep when he ran a hand through her hair before closing his eyes again, and he did not wake up again until his alarm clock rang the next morning.
---
"This is the last call for flight OZ-101 to Seoul. We kindly request that passengers go to gate 2 immediately for boarding."
Miya squeezed Younha's hand while what he assumed to be the same message was transmitted in Korean. "I guess this is it." He'd barely managed to get up to his feet when Younha threw herself into his arms, holding him in a rather awkward embrace - with her messenger bag and the two Rilakkuma plush toys that she was carrying, hugging each other was quite a feat.
They were still holding each other when the same announcement was heard again and Miya had to muster all his courage to break the embrace. "Come on, you'll be late."
He felt his throat tighten when Younha looked up at him, her eyes glistening and her long lashes sticking together. She looked like she was about to say something, but she instead inhaled deeply and turned around, headed for the customs. Miya watched her move away from him until his vision started to blur and he looked down to his feet, shoving his hands into his pockets to give himself some countenance.
He hadn't even realized she had walked up to him again until he heard her voice:
"I forgot something," she said apologetically. She had wedged the two stuffed toys under her arm and was rummaging in her bag with her free hand. She finally pulled out a small album and handed it to him.
"What's this?"
Younha gave him a smile and a light shrug, obviously still struggling not to cry. "Just a gift."
Miya simply nodded and returned the smile, not trusting his voice.
"See you soon," Younha murmured, looking down, and started again towards the customs. She had barely taken a few steps before she suddenly rushed back to him and rose on tiptoe to press her mouth against his. What the kiss lacked in length, it made up for in intensity, and it left Miya seeing stars and panting and holding her to himself with all of his strength before he came back to his senses and the craziest thoughts found their way to his brain all at once - maybe he could he beg her not to go, maybe he could buy a ticket to Seoul, maybe they really could make this work somehow...
"Oppa, you're crying," Younha pointed out with a smile and her own tears mirrored her words, welling up before rolling down her cheeks.
"I'm not," Miya mumbled pathetically, blinking the tears away desperately before they managed to escape his eyes, and gave a light push on her shoulder. "Just go now."
She gave him a last smile and ran up to the customs booth. Miya watched her hand her passport to the inspector and enter the terminal without so much as a glance in his direction, and waited until she had vanished from his field of vision before sitting down by himself.
He didn't leave until the information screen displayed the confirmation that her flight had departed.
---
It took Miya several minutes and a couple of smokes before he somewhat settled down. Fearing he might get into an accident if he started tearing up again on the road, he had stayed in his car for a while, not even bothering to turn on the radio while he smoked his cigarettes. He was about to ignite the engine when he spotted the album Younha had given him from the corner of his eye. He'd dropped it on the passenger seat earlier and had forgotten about it until now.
He hesitated a bit - it was probably a better idea to have a look at it once he was home rather than in the parking lot of the airport, but curiosity got the better of him and he reached for it. He chuckled quietly at the cover- a golden outline of Winnie the Pooh on a sky blue background- and opened the small book tentatively. There was a letter inside, carefully tucked inside one of the pocket pages, but the first pictures caught his eye and he decided to save it for last.
The first several photographs brought a smile to his lips - the mess that was his bedroom while the two of them occupied it; Younha holding Gizmo, headphones on her head; several pictures of them frolicking on their way to Meiji Jingu (looking at those, Miya felt ridiculous for even having had doubts about his feelings for her at that point); Younha holding his arm in front of the main gate of the shrine; the food they had ordered at Magic Spice; and himself beet red, sweaty and grimacing while trying to ingest his soup curry.
Pictures of their karaoke evening followed. Younha's camera had apparently traveled around quite a bit, and Miya's vision started blurring when, among the more embarrassing pictures of him and his friends, he came across a shot of their linked hands, fingers entwined. The tears were clouding his eyes so badly that he had to wipe them off with his sleeve to have a proper look at the picture of Younha and he kissing, oblivious to Yukke frowning at them.
Miya had never quite realized how they looked together- gaga and smitten and so fucking in love- and, by the time he got to Younha pressing her lips to his cheek in front of the Christmas tree at Disney Land, his throat literally hurt from the struggle against his own tears. The album ended with a picture of an empty donuts box they had ravaged in a single evening, and despite his efforts not to, Miya broke down crying.
No amount of nicotine could settle him down this time, and it took a long while before he managed to control himself enough to read the letter she'd written.
Dear Miya-oppa,
Thank you so much for everything. When I come back to Japan, I will be a singer because of your help. You took care of me, you taught me many things, and you gave me courage and inspiration. I want to do my best as a musician because of that. I want you to be proud when you listen to my songs.
I'm excited, but I'm also sad. I wish we can be together. You were always so nice to me even though my Japanese is not that good. I had a lot of fun going to places and talking with you. It was only for a short time, but it was the happiest I was in my life. I am really sorry about lying to you and I hope you will forgive me.
I will miss you and Gizmo a lot. I hope we can meet again someday.
xxx
Younha