(no subject)
everything is so different.. odd in a way that i dont want it to be.
i cant even look back anymore and consider myself the same person,
how can one be happy when they cant even find a place to rest.
it wouldnt make sense to anyone else, because my mind works in fucked up ways,
there is something that hasnt changed.
theres a sickness inside of me and it is taking everything i had
i cant get rid of it because i cant live without it.
i used to like it when people read my feelings,
i used to write poems expressing so many emotions and i didnt give a fuck who saw,
what do i have to hide now,
so much more that i cant even try
everyone is fucked up, or the world wouldnt be the way it is,
sure there are different levels but no one can really ever tell or compare
why? because they dont know exactly how they are rating another person,
you cant really just get inside someone's head,
i hope they never realize how to do that, because then i just wouldnt belong,
i hope everyone doesnt think like me because if people knew just how i thought
im sure they wouldnt want ne thing to do with me
if people knew just how i am,
they would have no reason to talk to me.
maybe that is why i am so fucked up, because i know how i am and i know that im the only one who really knows
so many people have walked in and out of my life, so many people that i thought were soooo important
but, i mean, how important were they if most of them are gone
how can importance be so jaded.
i see these things and i think these things and i just want to wash my hands of it
because i miss ignorance
im sick of the way i am but how can i change it when the way i am is what makes me me
the moments of the past that made a difference, those were moments when i was me too
all of the happy memories, they are sad now because memories like that dont exist ne more with the knowledge that comes with age.
i dont fucking know. im fucked up in the head.
but for everyone who i have hurt, im sorry.
i cant even look back anymore and consider myself the same person,
how can one be happy when they cant even find a place to rest.
it wouldnt make sense to anyone else, because my mind works in fucked up ways,
there is something that hasnt changed.
theres a sickness inside of me and it is taking everything i had
i cant get rid of it because i cant live without it.
i used to like it when people read my feelings,
i used to write poems expressing so many emotions and i didnt give a fuck who saw,
what do i have to hide now,
so much more that i cant even try
everyone is fucked up, or the world wouldnt be the way it is,
sure there are different levels but no one can really ever tell or compare
why? because they dont know exactly how they are rating another person,
you cant really just get inside someone's head,
i hope they never realize how to do that, because then i just wouldnt belong,
i hope everyone doesnt think like me because if people knew just how i thought
im sure they wouldnt want ne thing to do with me
if people knew just how i am,
they would have no reason to talk to me.
maybe that is why i am so fucked up, because i know how i am and i know that im the only one who really knows
so many people have walked in and out of my life, so many people that i thought were soooo important
but, i mean, how important were they if most of them are gone
how can importance be so jaded.
i see these things and i think these things and i just want to wash my hands of it
because i miss ignorance
im sick of the way i am but how can i change it when the way i am is what makes me me
the moments of the past that made a difference, those were moments when i was me too
all of the happy memories, they are sad now because memories like that dont exist ne more with the knowledge that comes with age.
i dont fucking know. im fucked up in the head.
but for everyone who i have hurt, im sorry.