Between current events and ty winter's post...this has spawned.
I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a child.
I am lost. But aren't we all in our own way?
I dont have self control.
Scratch that.
I have self control.
I just have bad judgement.
I'm not making myself happy.
I'm Sorry.
1. I just want to make you happy. But how can I make you happy
when the decisions I make hurt you so much and I just cant seem
to stop making them? You mean so much to me. I'll always be there
for you and I just want to make sure I dont jeopardize the reciprocation.
2. I know I needed you more than you needed me. You made me strive to be better.
To do better, to look better, to care more, and to finally open up more. I'm not sure
where we stand but I know these feelings wont go away easily.
3. I had fun. And i want to continue to have fun. I just don't want any more shit. I was doing
it because it made me feel happy but now its just causing problems. i'm sorry.
4. You. You always come back. Always. I'm not sure if what we do is the right thing but I do know that I have fun. A friend is what I need in you. I hope that I always have that. I will always strive to keep that.
5. You are always right. Always. You know it too and thats the worst part. And it makes me angry that you are always right about it. Thank you for helping me in hard times and always dragging things I should probably talk about out. And no matter what you think...I do listen, even when you think i'm not.
I didn't leave names out for any specific reason. It's not that hard to put names with those.
I've been looking for something to make me happy. I need it. After everything...Dont I deserve it? at least somewhat. I know I must make my own hapiness. It wont just fall into my lap. But I don't even know where to start. Its truly upsetting.
Self-Destruction. Thats what I am at this time.
I'm taking the pain I feel inside and making decisions that just amplify it.
I dont want to. I want to be happy. It just keeps happening and I
don't know how to stop it.
At least I've dropped the Xanax thing. That is a good thing for sure.
I miss being truly happy every day. Its so wrong to feel this way.
I'm going to sleep then work.
I'm not leaving the house til then.
Its violent and angry outside. I hate it.
Imortally Yours
Vincent D. Hellfire
I am lost. But aren't we all in our own way?
I dont have self control.
Scratch that.
I have self control.
I just have bad judgement.
I'm not making myself happy.
I'm Sorry.
1. I just want to make you happy. But how can I make you happy
when the decisions I make hurt you so much and I just cant seem
to stop making them? You mean so much to me. I'll always be there
for you and I just want to make sure I dont jeopardize the reciprocation.
2. I know I needed you more than you needed me. You made me strive to be better.
To do better, to look better, to care more, and to finally open up more. I'm not sure
where we stand but I know these feelings wont go away easily.
3. I had fun. And i want to continue to have fun. I just don't want any more shit. I was doing
it because it made me feel happy but now its just causing problems. i'm sorry.
4. You. You always come back. Always. I'm not sure if what we do is the right thing but I do know that I have fun. A friend is what I need in you. I hope that I always have that. I will always strive to keep that.
5. You are always right. Always. You know it too and thats the worst part. And it makes me angry that you are always right about it. Thank you for helping me in hard times and always dragging things I should probably talk about out. And no matter what you think...I do listen, even when you think i'm not.
I didn't leave names out for any specific reason. It's not that hard to put names with those.
I've been looking for something to make me happy. I need it. After everything...Dont I deserve it? at least somewhat. I know I must make my own hapiness. It wont just fall into my lap. But I don't even know where to start. Its truly upsetting.
Self-Destruction. Thats what I am at this time.
I'm taking the pain I feel inside and making decisions that just amplify it.
I dont want to. I want to be happy. It just keeps happening and I
don't know how to stop it.
At least I've dropped the Xanax thing. That is a good thing for sure.
I miss being truly happy every day. Its so wrong to feel this way.
I'm going to sleep then work.
I'm not leaving the house til then.
Its violent and angry outside. I hate it.
Imortally Yours
Vincent D. Hellfire