Nov 20, 2008 17:12
i havent written anything at all in a while. not a poem, not even a line of anything other than strictly analytical compositions on class articles. loads and loads of articles. In fact five pounds of articles from one class. all composited into my short term memory and translated for proof of viewing, my receipt for academic transaction, my short, confused essays.
i wonder if you could understand the concepts by reiterating them into poetry instead? or some sort of creative approach. essay writing is creative of course, but it is also very constricted, and every line i write screams for approval from the intelligent society. essay writing is so regulated! it's almost like a game where we have to accrue points. in fact it is! 5 points for correct grammar, topic discussion here, entertaining anecdote there, failure to cite, lose all. i feel out of my element trying to focus my opinions into a few sentences, and then elaborating on only those few specific ideas for seven pages. though it is a huge chance for creativity, mine is stifled in this way. im still uncomfortable with the rogue construct of an essay, i cannot yet detail it in my own way, rearrange the structure within the rules, and make it my own.
ive been lonley in a world of reading, documentaries, power points and other stimulus. i feel insecure this way in being alone with my thoughts, i need to bounce them off other humans to know how real they are, how valid, or even what they really mean to me.